What in the heck is a setback??

[ChocalateDiva]

I am often reading post and ppl are speaking very vaguely about setbacks. They make statements like " I went from APL to SL after my setback in April...yadda, yadda, yadda.."

I am alway left wondering what kinda setback could/would cause that.

I am not trying get up in anyones personal business.......just trying to fully understand what kinds of setbacks I/We are at risk for as we trial and error though this hair growth journey.

• Wikipedia describes a SETBACK as: A problem or obstacle which makes it difficult to achieve a desired goal, objective or purpose.

• It refers to a situation, condition, or issue that is yet unresolved. In a broad sense, a problem exists when an individual becomes aware of a significant difference between what actually is and what is desired.

How would you describe a setback?

Examples would be nice......

TIA

 

[ivyQuietstorm]

My little tangent:

I think setbacks are a good thing. They can be obstacles or stepping stones. I prefer the stepping stone approach. Sharing setbacks (IMHO) will help others avoid a potential path of destruction. I want to know all kinds of failure modes!! Help a sista out please, share your failures!

Great Topic!!

 

[HoneyDew]

For me:

My goal is to grow out my uneven hair. I just want it even, or close to it - at any length.

It was ALMOST there and then I lost some hair in several patches that put me back further!!!!!!! I lost all my progress.

That is a setback for me. Even worse is that I have not figured out the cause of the hair loss. All I did differently is use Robert Craig color, which is supposed to be fine for relaxed hair. The fact that I cannot determine the cause makes it even more of a setback for me, because I fear that I may do whatever I did before again.

 

[ChocalateDiva]

For me:

My goal is to grow out my uneven hair. I just want it even, or close to it - at any length.

It was ALMOST there and then I lost some hair in several patches that put me back further!!!!!!! I lost all my progress.

That is a setback for me. Even worse is that I have not figured out the cause of the hair loss. All I did differently is use Robert Craig color, which is supposed to be fine for relaxed hair. The fact that I cannot determine the cause makes it even more of a setback for me, because I fear that I may do whatever I did before again.

I feel you HoneyDew.........sorry bout ur setback.

 

[Christelyn]

Funny that you would post this now--I just had a "setback". My situation fits your Wiki definition perfectly. My goal was to have APL hair by December. The longest portion of my hair, which until yesterday about 8.5 inches, was almost there. To make a long story short, I had to cut the damaged ends because the breakage was impeding my from reaching my goal.

 

[AtlantaJJ]

A relaxer set me back to square one last October. Today I have 5 inches of new natural healthy thick hair. So it was a set-back at the time, now it's a boon....

 

[sonia1965]

I began my natural, heathly hair journey in June 2008. Tried many regimes and have just started to Oct/MT. Throughout this time, due to my hair being neck length, fine 4a, I pulled, and gelled it into a ring-comb with phony pony everyday for work! I lost my edges. I did my first henna, and flat ironed at the weekend, and it was a disaster!! I've lost about 3inches over the time, and I am now sporting a wig to work. I belive it was the pulling of my hair into a pony that did it, and the over-use of heat on my 'fragile' hair.

This setback has made me focus, and adopt a K.I.S.S regime. So some good came out of it !!

 

[charmtreese]

My setback happened in Nov 06:

I tried an ACV rinse and my hair reacted horribly, it knotted up and became hard and brittle. Detangling was impossible even with loads of conditioner and oil! I lost a sandwich bag full of hair and it took me close to a year to recovery.

IMO the ACV rinse was a problem that caused me difficulties in reaching my goal of APL.

 

[Ediese]

I just had a setback. It was so frustrating that I considered taking a break from LHCF, and closing my fotki. For the first time ever, my hair started shedding like a dog. Every time I tried to comb my hair, clumps of hair kept coming out. I tried to go low manipulation, but that didnt' help because even if I finger combed, alot of hair was still coming out.

Anyway, I decided last week to get a full sew-in weave with no hair left out. Before I got it done, I blow dried my hair and it looked terrible. It was really thin looking. That's enough to make you want to give up. If that's not a setback, I don't know what is. Hopefully, it doesn't look as bad when I take down my weave in December. I'm trying to be consistent with my garlic supplements.

 

[Nya33]

Call it a set back but i knew what i was doing was going to leave my hair wrecked.

When taking out weaves i would be impatient and cut off lengths of growth through the thread as i could'nt see what i was doing properly so ended up with some pieces of hair long/short!

Learnt my lesson and ask my mum with her glasses to help!!!!

Any progress that is undone by errors or trying new things could be a setback.

 

[NYAmicas]

I have a personal goal of growing my hair super long but would be fine with MBL.

My setback story: Trying to do protective styles via braid outs, I would actually get knots at the ends of my braids. The kind of knots that make you want to punch a mirror!-so I had to yank them out, losing length in two sections of my head.

Terrible conditioner=Cheapies from the Dollar Tree I never heard of but I figured, what the hey? Air drying is horrendous without good conditoner for me! Awfully matted and I lost lots of hair from the tangles.

Combing out of said, tangly hair=Decide to treat myself to getting it done and while the stylists were great, using their most featured products wouldnt get the tangles out. Tag team duo on my hair and they still couldnt do anything but take large amounts out......*sigh*

It's a good thing I have very very very thick hair, or I'd really be upset right now. I got my relaxer and I can see in my pics that I lost some progress producing a setback for my goal.

 

[Nonie]

I've had at least two major setbacks since I embarked on my natural journey in 2001.

setback
noun: an unfortunate happening that hinders or impedes; something that is thwarting or frustrating

First setback--2004: After getting over my bald spot(s), I was doing fine till I got a hold of a flat iron and went to town on my hair. I was on my honeymoon and a steam shower every morning would lead to reversion...but by the time I'd leave my room, my hair would look like this:

Needless to say, before too long, my hair was a crisp, dry, breaking mess. Had to do a major trim and return to braids, the only way I seem to be able to grow my hair.

Second setback--2007: I was a little ahead of my 2004 record. I was so happy with the health and shoulder-length status of my hair that I couldn't wait to show it off. I wanted to get more styling ideas and while I'd seen the 101 on shingling, I wanted to have it done on me by a pro while I took mental notes before doing it myself. So I went to a stylist that had been recommended to me. I trusted her even when she said she'd give me a trim, because I'd heard about how she loves to help people grow long hair. Well, two hours later, not only didn't I have shingling, but I also I had gone from having hair this long to having hair this short.

So here I am embarking on round 3 of this journey. No setbacks so far (Knock on wood!); praying I'm a little better at protecting my mane this time around.

 

[Foxglove]

My mom and a family friend were helping me take out some braids a few years ago. I started unbraiding from the bottom but my mom and the friend snipped the ends off the braids before unbraiding. By the end I was neck length on my end and ear length on the family friend's side. That's the last time I let anybody help me take down braids. I don't care if it takes me a week (which it does sometimes with micros) I take my time and unbraid and detangle and I'm in no rush to finish the job

 

[SmartyPants]

My setback was when I was stupid enough to relax my hair one day after using Boundless Tresses on my scalp. I lost a nickel-size patch of hair in the back. Luckily the rest of my hair is long enough to cover it.

The good news is that I was afraid to relax my hair again without stretching to give that patch time to heal. This resulted in my first 11 week stretch that has led me to conclude that I can safely stretch for 10 weeks at a time without having my hair breaking off or my new growth driving me batty! Prior to that, I relaxed every 6-7 weeks.

 

[HoneyDew]

My setback was when I was stupid enough to relax my hair one day after using Boundless Tresses on my scalp. I lost a nickel-size patch of hair in the back. Luckily the rest of my hair is long enough to cover it.

The good news is that I was afraid to relax my hair again without stretching to give that patch time to heal. This resulted in my first 11 week stretch that has led me to conclude that I can safely stretch for 10 weeks at a time without having my hair breaking off or my new growth driving me batty! Prior to that, I relaxed every 6-7 weeks.

Wow! I am so sorry about your setback. I am glad it worked out for the best though!

 

[Paradox]

Can a lack of growth also be considered a setback?
If so, then this year was a huge set back.
I'm bitter.

 

[klb120475]

What i experienced this time last year.

 

[Curlee_lurker]

I listened to some stupid heifer and used a relaxer over my colored hair. It melted in my hands. I went from waist length to shoulder length in moments. I thought I could save it, I even did a protein treatment right away and slept with humecto.

I was forced to cut my hair to neck length on my own before work that morning.

Seven months later I cut off another 4-5 inches and the women in the shop watched in awe as I told the stylist to cut whatever he wanted. I guess my setback was more freeing than anything else. My sole goal now is to grow it until I get married and maybe one summer after (all without an engagement in sight hehe) and then donate to locks of love that winter.

 

[sylver2]

i had some setbacks
1 in 1995 when my hair broke off so bad in the crown I had cut it all off and start over. It was APL and i had to cut it down to a fantasia pixie cut. it took forever to grw back and it was a nightmare.
1 in 2000 where hair started breaking off once again and had to cut it from apl to above shoulders
1 a few years ago that prompted me to start stretching my relaxers..had 2 inch broken off hairs all over my head. They stuck out and had to literally take the scissors and just cut all those hairs off.

 

[Dee Raven]

I had my first setback these past few weeks. I've bc'd and have been growing my hair for two years now and reached apl in June. But now, after 4 months, I'm still at APL. And why? Because for some reason after trying different things to see what works best for my hair, I forgot what really worked, so now I might have to retrim my hair which I just trimmed two weeks ago (booo). But definitely, I can say I've learned (albeit the sad, hard, and discouraging way.)

 

[HoneyDew]

i had some setbacks
1 in 1995 when my hair broke off so bad in the crown I had cut it all off and start over. It was APL and i had to cut it down to a fantasia pixie cut. it took forever to grw back and it was a nightmare.
1 in 2000 where hair started breaking off once again and had to cut it from apl to above shoulders
1 a few years ago that prompted me to start stretching my relaxers..had 2 inch broken off hairs all over my head. They stuck out and had to literally take the scissors and just cut all those hairs off.

I think this is my problem.

inspiration to start stretching.

 

[locabouthair]

when the stylist overprocesses your nape and the WHOLE thing is gone. I call that a big setback

 

[PreciousPearl]

My setback

My stylist underprocessed half my hair. I had one side texlaxed and one side bone straight. When I asked her about it her response was that some ppls hair is just resistant to relaxer. I was natural at the time. However, I had been going to this stylist for years and she had relaxed my hair in the past. I didn't know how to take care of the two textures. I flat ironed the underprocessed side too much in my attempt to make it bone straight. Well, after 9 months I had really damaged hair and went from APL to CL. This was before I discovered LHCF.

 

[BostonMaria]

I've had at least two major setbacks since I embarked on my natural journey in 2001.



First setback--2004: After getting over my bald spot(s), I was doing fine till I got a hold of a flat iron and went to town on my hair. I was on my honeymoon and a steam shower every morning would lead to reversion...but by the time I'd leave my room, my hair would look like this:

Needless to say, before too long, my hair was a crisp, dry, breaking mess. Had to do a major trim and return to braids, the only way I seem to be able to grow my hair.

Second setback--2007: I was a little ahead of my 2004 record. I was so happy with the health and shoulder-length status of my hair that I couldn't wait to show it off. I wanted to get more styling ideas and while I'd seen the 101 on shingling, I wanted to have it done on me by a pro while I took mental notes before doing it myself. So I went to a stylist that had been recommended to me. I trusted her even when she said she'd give me a trim, because I'd heard about how she loves to help people grow long hair. Well, two hours later, not only didn't I have shingling, but I also I had gone from having hair this long to having hair this short.

So here I am embarking on round 3 of this journey. No setbacks so far (Knock on wood!); praying I'm a little better at protecting my mane this time around.

Did you say anything to her? That's just beyond wrong. This is the reason why I won't let ANYBODY cut my hair.

I've had about 100,000,000 set-backs in my life LOL I remember one time I decided that I liked having my hair blow dried every week. This was when I was not only relaxing my hair, but I was also dying my hair black. I was probably APL when I noticed that one side of my hair was like 3 inches shorter than the other. I later found out that I was damaging my hair with the hair dye. Plus all that heat killed my poor hair. I was so mad! Oh and over the years I would go back and forth between transitioning and giving up, going back to relaxers and it would always lead to a huge set-back.

I now only dye my hair with Henna and I'm natural and do my hair myself.

 

[locabouthair]

My setback happened in Nov 06:

I tried an ACV rinse and my hair reacted horribly, it knotted up and became hard and brittle. Detangling was impossible even with loads of conditioner and oil! I lost a sandwich bag full of hair and it took me close to a year to recovery.

IMO the ACV rinse was a problem that caused me difficulties in reaching my goal of APL.

girl that acv gave me some bad tangles too. it gave me nice shine but the tangles werent worth it

 

[Nonie]

Did you say anything to her? That's just beyond wrong. This is the reason why I won't let ANYBODY cut my hair.

I've had about 100,000,000 set-backs in my life LOL I remember one time I decided that I liked having my hair blow dried every week. This was when I was not only relaxing my hair, but I was also dying my hair black. I was probably APL when I noticed that one side of my hair was like 3 inches shorter than the other. I later found out that I was damaging my hair with the hair dye. Plus all that heat killed my poor hair. I was so mad! Oh and over the years I would go back and forth between transitioning and giving up, going back to relaxers and it would always lead to a huge set-back.

I now only dye my hair with Henna and I'm natural and do my hair myself.

I think the only thing I said was "That's it? The hairstyle is complete? erplexed " When I saw the mess she'd put my hair in. I couldn't tell how long it was because I'd never seen finger coils before so I didn't know if it was just twirled down so much that it looked short. The whole hair process was done away from a mirror so I didn't even see how much was cut off. But more than noticing the length, I was just baffled by WTH I had on my head. Trying to fathom how she could expect $80 from me after leaving my head looking like I darn lost my damn mind. Made me think of a crazy woman rocking back and forth twirling her fingers in her hair with a nervous twitch. Her response to my WTF? question was that the coils would drop in two days and be bouncy curls. Well, what did I know? I'd been told she was one of the best and this was a new experience for me so I tried to be optimistic. That hope evaporated real quick when I started to worry that my hair'd loc up, so I untwirled the do. That's when I got a real good look at the length and just boo-hooed like a fool. Needless to say, my hubby was beyond disbelief that I'd let someone mess my head up like that.

But yep, I learned my lesson. And if I don't let another soul's paws touch my hair, it'll be too soon!