I decided to LOVE my relaxed hair... anyone else?

[Prettyeyes]

I went 8 months one time and relaxed in January. Then I stretched 4 months and relaxed again. Two failed transitions but I no longer see it as failure. I have BSL hair, I will never bc, I want to be MBL, so cutting is not of interest to me. This time I got a lye relaxer and am loving my hair, natural curls/coils are gorgeous but relaxed hair has many positives also. My mom relaxed my hair when I was 13 and now that I am BSL I am not cutting so I AM JUST ENJOYING MY HAIR. NO MORE SHAME. I AM ACCEPTING MYSELF THIS WAY!!!!!!

 

[ebzonix]

Congrats on coming to terms and reality with yourself.

 

[Bublin]

After being natural for 2 years i have a new found love for my relaxed hair.

I made many mistakes in the past and i also neglected my hair (and i still gained length)

This time round it is healthy, i'm seeing lots of progress and i'm enjoying it.

 

[hothair]

I was very mildly texlaxed after a stint naturalness by the end of this year I intend to be at least 70% texlaxed and happy

 

[Moonxyz]

After being natural for 2 years i have a new found love for my relaxed hair.

I made many mistakes in the past and i also neglected my hair (and i still gained length)

This time round it is healthy, i'm seeing lots of progress and i'm enjoying it.

same for me. I was natural for 3yrs.

At this point I just enjoy how easy it is to take care of my hair.
and this is thanks to all the knowledge acquired on LHCF.

 

[MiWay]

ITA! I was transitioning as well (no BC intended) and after 6 months, I decided to relax. I have never been happier with my hair.

 

[MAMATO]

I am and have always been in loove with my relaxed hair. I never had any doubts about that, never thought about going natural. I an almost BSL and my hair is healthy and thick and is growing so well since I've been in the board (feb 08). The only thing I'd change is I'll relax my hair 2X or 3X a year at the most instead of 6X I'd normally do. Never try to fix if it is not broken.

 

[RegaLady]

Thank you all for expressing this! I so want to relax. What started out as stretching, (ending the 12 week transition TODAY) ended up being transitioning. I don't knock either, actually. Do you! My hair is short, but growing out nicely. I am also deciding to love my hair the length it is, and everything else will come!
It sounds like the reaction to wanting to know if you are having a boy or girl, and responding with, "As long as it's healthy."

 

[ladylibra]

It sounds like the reaction to wanting to know if you are having a boy or girl, and responding with, "As long as it's healthy."

good analogy! and to me this is how it should be.

 

[BMoreFlyy]

In the end of it, do what makes you feel best. I was stretching, got to 4 months (was supposed to lead to a transition) and decided to relax. Simply because relaxed hair is easier for me, like the feel of my new growth, but like being able to comb my hair more at this point. So, definitely don't see it as a failure, just you doing you.

 

[the_UnPrettiest_pretty]

I love mine too! I really wanted to transition and make it a success, but the further I got into the journey, the more I missed my relaxed hair. So, I went back and couldn't be happier. Transitioning is not for me right now at this point, I certainly wasn't going to whack all of my hair off, and those wavy roots are a..............well, you know. So, I'm sticking with what works for me now.

Congrats on your progress towards making a decision and sticking with it!!

 

[prospurr4]

Congratulations on your decision! I was natural for 20 years, before relaxing. Then I transitioned to texlax, which for me, is the best... I love my texlaxed hair.

 

[bigdeelight]

As a natural [lifer], I commend you on making a final decision. Relaxed hair is just as beautiful as natural hair. Don't let anyone tell you any differently!

 

[atlien11]

I love my hair relaxed (ive never been natural) and i was starting to think i was the only one . It seems like most of the board members are natural so i cant read through 55% percent of the threads because they are geared towards it, lol.

 

[*Frisky*]

I am with you on this...I use to feel guilty if I relaxed too soon instead of trying to keep on holding out as long as possible but I think I was doing more harm than good. Transitioning is not in the cards for me. Now I am keeping to a schedule of relaxing every 10-12 weeks....prefebaly every 10

 

[Jas123]

I love, love, love my relaxed hair... it's thick, healthy, versatile and also convenient and I'm working on bsl, so I have no plans to cut either.. I also love the texture of my new growth, super thick and wavy

 

[BeautifulFlower]

This is exactly how I feel. No rush. No pressure. When I do cross over it will be because I want and not because someone said I should. I love my natural texture but I love my relaxed hair too. So either way, I am happy.

I went 8 months one time and relaxed in January. Then I stretched 4 months and relaxed again. Two failed transitions but I no longer see it as failure. I have BSL hair, I will never bc, I want to be MBL, so cutting is not of interest to me. This time I got a lye relaxer and am loving my hair, natural curls/coils are gorgeous but relaxed hair has many positives also. My mom relaxed my hair when I was 13 and now that I am BSL I am not cutting so I AM JUST ENJOYING MY HAIR. NO MORE SHAME. I AM ACCEPTING MYSELF THIS WAY!!!!!!

 

[CenteredGirl]

If I looked like you, I wouldn't have a problem with accepting ANYTHING about myself. You are too gorgeous for words.

Right on sis!

 

[Aggie]

I went 8 months one time and relaxed in January. Then I stretched 4 months and relaxed again. Two failed transitions but I no longer see it as failure. I have BSL hair, I will never bc, I want to be MBL, so cutting is not of interest to me. This time I got a lye relaxer and am loving my hair, natural curls/coils are gorgeous but relaxed hair has many positives also. My mom relaxed my hair when I was 13 and now that I am BSL I am not cutting so I AM JUST ENJOYING MY HAIR. NO MORE SHAME. I AM ACCEPTING MYSELF THIS WAY!!!!!!

Hey Prettyeyes, congratulations on your newly relaxed hair and you get no judgement form me as I also love love love my relaxed hair. I am even now self-relaxing my hair and lovin' it and not to be cocky but heck I really feel I did a much better job than my stylist.

 

[Empress Yahudah]

Congrats on making the decision to be happy with ur hair the way U want it.
I have been natural and relaxed off and on through out the years. I love my natural hair as well as my relaxed hair. Its all about preference, change, and choices.
Beautiful hair is beautiful hair whether relaxed or natural

 

[FemmeCreole]

I went 8 months one time and relaxed in January. Then I stretched 4 months and relaxed again. Two failed transitions but I no longer see it as failure. I have BSL hair, I will never bc, I want to be MBL, so cutting is not of interest to me. This time I got a lye relaxer and am loving my hair, natural curls/coils are gorgeous but relaxed hair has many positives also. My mom relaxed my hair when I was 13 and now that I am BSL I am not cutting so I AM JUST ENJOYING MY HAIR. NO MORE SHAME. I AM ACCEPTING MYSELF THIS WAY!!!!!!

Lady LAdy Lady there is nothing to be ashamed of....look how pretty you are! And your hair is lovely too......I am 11 months natural now and I'm trying to get an appointment to relax my hair (not bone straight) At first I felt like a punk for giving up but I realized I have to do what works for me. You should do the same.....relaxed is obviously working for you!

 

[foxieroxienyc]

Yeah I totally agree you've gotta do what's right for you! I loooooove my hair - and it's relaxed w/ 2 mon's worth of NG. I'm supposed to be transitioning, and I realized the other day, despite my love for natural hair..... I ain't ready yet to go back again. I spent about 8 years as a natural and then a few as a texlaxed. My relaxed hair now is stronger because of that choice. And with the wealth of knowledge I've gained here and other places, my RELAXED strands are in the best state it's ever been in since I've had a relaxer. So I decided that for me, a 4 month stretch will be good and I will relax on my birthday. I've already seen some incredible growth that I just noticed today in fact, so that's proof to me that my relaxed hair can be healthy and retain length. At the end of the day, again, you've got to do what you feel comfortable with, afterall YOU have to deal with the care of your hair....

 

[morehairplease]

congrats to you sweetie! I am slowly coming to this feeling.

 

[Christa438]

I also had to question if I was really only transitioning to prove something but I really do want to be a natural. I always have imagined how it would be to have long natural curly hair. I realized that is really my dream/vision and all Im doing is just trying to make it come true.
I agree with everybody. if you are not happy, then what's the point. Congrats on loving your relaxed hair! It was a few relaxed heads that first caught my attention while I was lurking, and then I saw the beautiful natural and texlaxed heads too. This may sound crazy to some but I actually think we should have relaxed, texlaxed/texturized/transitioning, and natural. I love the diversity, and I look forward to it when Im going from fotki to fotki lol.

 

[bermudabeauty]

I agree with you sista. I for one embrace the relaxer. I have had relaxed hair for as long as I can remember. I am not ashamed of my relaxed hair. If natural hair works for some women more power to them.....But I like the smooth, bouncy, sexy styles that only a relaxed head can provide!

 

[ajoyfuljoy]

Totally feel ya OP. I had to come to this realization, and on my fotki welcome page I say whether relaxed or natural, it is still my hair and I'm proud of it!

I'd been contemplating transition and frustrating myself with worry about it. My relaxed hair grows blunt, healthy and great now that I take care of it, so I decided to leave well enough along and keep relaxing. it's been hard not to feel guilty but I will embrace your post!

Also, I've decided that long stretches aren't for me also. Going 14 weeks is too much. I've realized that 10 weeks is my hair's perfect medium. That's the last week where I can wear my hair down w/o feeling like it looks bad (or that I have to put too much effort into any style). So that's what I'm sticking with. I'm also feeling guilty about switching my stretching from 14 to 10, but I have to do me, you know?

 

[bermudabeauty]

I know I am going to get in trouble for saying this. But I to just say what works for me. I could never go as long as some of these ladies 3 and 4 months for a relaxer. I get my hair relaxed every 4weeks and I try to STRETCH it to 5wks. I know to some of you that seems like alot but, it works for me. If I go any longer than that I notice my hair will begin to shed, and I don't want that. I trim my hair everytime I get my hair colored, which is about 2 weeks after I get my hair relaxed.

My hair regime is as follows:

3 days before I get a perm I use Aphogee 2 step treatment.
I use a no lye Gentle Treatment relaxer.
I deep condition once a week with products such as Ion Color defense (because I have permanent color in my hair.)
I use Aphogee leave in conditioner daily and after ever wash.
I normally let my hair air dry. I flat hair my hair once a week on Sundays. (Got to look fly for church)

I have been beginning to use Olive oil daily as a moisturiser as well I love the way it makes my hair feel.

 

[MissM]

I spent the past year unintentionally transitioning. I have a really sensitive scalp and conditions have to be just right for me to relax so that I don't wind up with sores or having to immediately wash it out b/c it's burning. But I wanted to keep transitioning to see if I could and b/c my hair had also fallen out pretty bad in the fall due to stress and I wanted it to thicken back up.

Then 2 things happened. My husband told me we would be relocating south from MI this summer and then the weather got warmer here (just slightly) and my curls started popping out---and I keep my hair straight. I finally had to ask myself what was the point in transitioning when I like my hair straight all the time and did I really want to fight with it moving back to a more humid climate? As I've stated before in other posts, half straight poofy hair ain't my thing-I need to look sharp at all times.

But I did learn that I could get away with relaxing just once a year which I may decide to keep up or relax every 6mths like I was doing.

 

[MonPetite]

As a natural [lifer], I commend you on making a final decision. Relaxed hair is just as beautiful as natural hair. Don't let anyone tell you any differently!

Co-sign.

 

[Anna9764]

I went 8 months one time and relaxed in January. Then I stretched 4 months and relaxed again. Two failed transitions but I no longer see it as failure. I have BSL hair, I will never bc, I want to be MBL, so cutting is not of interest to me. This time I got a lye relaxer and am loving my hair, natural curls/coils are gorgeous but relaxed hair has many positives also. My mom relaxed my hair when I was 13 and now that I am BSL I am not cutting so I AM JUST ENJOYING MY HAIR. NO MORE SHAME. I AM ACCEPTING MYSELF THIS WAY!!!!!!

I always have and always will . When used correctly relaxing helps manage really thick hair (like mine) and leaves it easier to style and beautiful looking healthy hair

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