Wish You Could Go Natural???

[HappyHairDreams]

Wow. I've worked in large law firms for many years. Presently I'm at a large firm Downtown LA. This is certainly just not true. From personal experience the other race loves natural hair on black women. Sorry to disagree with you but look I'm here in Corporate America. I get so much respect for my hair alone (5 years natural) that I often think "its only hair". I find that "Hair" can be very powerful. A nice clean fragrant head of natural hair bouncing around the office gets way more respect from what I can tell. Not to change the subject but I love those HE TV Commercials and some days I feel like dancing to make it BOUNCE. I'm tickled with my hair and in the past year just had it flat ironed one time for a wedding. Friends and family kept telling me it looked nice but that they loved my natural so much -- I had to reassure people who originally hated my hairdo after the TWA -- that "yes" I'm still natural. Could not wait to wash that do out. To "Angry Hair". Relaxed or natural its your hair but don't come into this field thinking you'll get ahead because your hair is straight. That concept has been played out for quite some time.

Diamond, I respect your experience but I do disagree. What is accepted differs greatly depending on what region of the country you're in and also what field of law you go into. I live in NY and I work for a small firm - I know they don't care what I do with my hair because that's just the nature of the atmosphere here - very informal. However, many large firms in NY are far more traditional (even to the point where it's "more favorable" for a woman to wear a skirt as opposed to pants.) I don't know if you read American Lawyer but a couple of months ago, I think it was late last summer, they posted an article about an incident at Cleary Gottlieb where a Glamour magazine stylist had been invited to the firm to talk about new, modern, work appropriate looks. The stylist basically said afros and such "political hair styles" are a no-no. (i couldn't get access to the original article but if you google Cleary Gottlieb and Glamour you will find various sites discussing the inceident.) Now the firm and Glamour magazine spent several months following doing damage control. And clearly the stylist is a frigging idiot and I don't endorse what she said at all. However, the fact of the matter is that there are plenty of people, both Black and non-Black, in positions of authority who, though would not have said it, agree with ther stylist's opinion - it would be naive to think that this one woman is the only person that thinks like that. I'm not saying everyone thinks like she does, I'm saying there are enough that do.
I'm not coming into this field "looking to get ahead" because I have relaxed hair but what I don't want is to be discounted if i choose to have natural hair. So though the concept of natural hair being "unacceptable" may be played out at your big firm in LA, sadly, it's not quite so played out everywhere else in this field -and that's simply a fact.

 

[Aggie]

N E V E R!!!!

N E V E R!!!!

N E V E R!!!!

N E V E R!!!!

N E V E R!!!!

N E V E R!!!!

N E V E R!!!!

I MIGHT SOME TIME IN THE WAYYY DISTANT FUTURE WHEN CHICKEN CUT TEETH, PIGS FLY, AND WHEN I CAN GROW OKRA FROM CORN - BUT FOR NOW - IT'S NEVER!!!

 

[caribeandiva]

no such thing as can't
once you truly want to go natural, you will.

Exactly! I've been thinking about going natural for so long that i think i'll just do it! I'm tired of boring straight hair. I love curly, effortless styles way more.

 

[caribeandiva]

N E V E R!!!!

N E V E R!!!!

N E V E R!!!!

N E V E R!!!!

N E V E R!!!!

N E V E R!!!!

N E V E R!!!!

DID I MENTION NEVER

why such a strong reaction?

 

[Aggie]

why such a strong reaction?

I have had my hair natural for about a couple of years and I absolutely hated it. I could not stand for it to be combed. I lost a lot of hair in the comb, much more than when I'm relaxed. It was a very painful experience that I do not care to live through again. Like I said in another thread, I am extremely grateful for the man/woman who invented relaxers - I could kiss them. Stretching my relaxers for a few months is good enough natural hair for me. I don't need anymore than that. My curl pattern is extremely tight and I really do not want to live out the rest of my life using a pressing comb/flat iron every few days to have straight hair. H----E----L----L NO!

 

[Southernbella.]

Wow. I can't imagine absolutely hating something that is a part of you. Oh well, maybe your kids will have "good" hair.

 

[shunta]

I wish I could go natural, but I think it would be way too much work for me.

 

[gymfreak336]

I have had my hair natural for about a couple of years and I absolutely hated it. I could not stand for it to be combed. I lost a lot of hair in the comb, much more than when I'm relaxed. It was a very painful experience that I do not care to live through again. Like I said in another thread, I am extremely grateful for the man/woman who invented relaxers - I could kiss them. Stretching my relaxers for a few months is good enough natural hair for me. I don't need anymore than that. My curl pattern is extremely tight and I really do not want to live out the rest of my life using a pressing comb/flat iron every few days to have straight hair. H----E----L----L NO!

Do you Aggie Do you Everyone's hair is different, even within catagories like 3b,4a, etc.....there is all sorts of variety. If that was your experience then who am I am to tell you that that is invaild. This is why we have relaxers, to help manganabilty....its no different than wearing mascara because you feel like you have no eyelashes or wearing foundation because your skin tone is blotchy. I think people have and will always read into it too much.

 

[Aggie]

Do you Aggie Do you Everyone's hair is different, even within catagories like 3b,4a, etc.....there is all sorts of variety. If that was your experience then who am I am to tell you that that is invaild. This is why we have relaxers, to help manganabilty....its no different than wearing mascara because you feel like you have no eyelashes or wearing foundation because your skin tone is blotchy. I think people have and will always read into it too much.

My point exactly Gymfreak. I don't hate on those who choose to wear their hair natural, I think it's a great thing really if you can manage your hair that way. I choose not to because it's too hard for me. At least you and a few others are mature enough to understand this.

 

[Ramya]

No, not right now. I've been natural before, and then relaxed and then natural and then texturized. It's just hair. I like to change my look often.

 

[MissMasala5]

I'm transitioning, but I don't look at relaxers as crack. I think the straight look, however achieved, is what relaxer wearers/flat ironers want, and it's easier for most to get that by using chemicals. I think most women would stop using relaxers if there was a way to achieve the straight look, not have to worry about reversion, and not have to restraighten every few days. JMO

ITA with everything you said here. The bolded is what I am concerned about as well. I firmly decided to transition, and am 6 months post. Gotta get my "sleek tekneek" down pat. I blow dried my hair and woke up the next morning with reverted hair at the roots. I tried applying product, smoothing and tying down with a scarf. It helped, but only lasted a day. Good enough, for now. Always looking out for better ways.

 

[vivEz daNs lamouR]

After many a thought process, I finally decided to seriously transition and I couldn't be more excited.

I transitioned once before back in 2006 but I quit after 6 months because I didn't know how to properly care for both textures. For the record, I refuse to BC.

Transitioning to natural I think is a lot deeper than people think; I think it's also a soul searching experience - getting to become yourself as you were from birth.

Plus, I'm on here with a bunch of ladies who have done it and got there healthy and safely. I'm sure I'll be just fine

 

[BlkRushhin]

I love being natural. My transition was easy.
-I wore a straight SL bob since highschool up until 5 years ago.
-Then decided to get the Halle Berry cut (when she was still short)
-New growth gotten a little crazy to where I was getting relaxers in 3 weeks instead of 4. The relaxers would last for like 2 frickin weeks! It's like the new growth began to demand its presence!
-Got tired of the relaxers and begun to let it all grow out. So I kept cutting, and cutting...and cutting and the new growth just kept growing and growing all the while taking over my head.
-Then my head just became a curly/coily mass.
-Decided I wanted it styled and cut (John Legend-ish type 'do). Did that for a year and 1/2 and THEN I started to just let it grow...

Now it's in a big coily fro. My hair is 4a mostly; and EXTREMELY thick. Relaxed or natural, my hair seems to be high maintenance. It's definitely much healthier and stronger being natural. It grows faster, which is sorta negative for me as it tangles more the longer it gets. So detangling is a a job within itself so I normally get someone else to do it....heh. Round the home it's normally all over my head and I'm not big on multiple styles. I keep it simple with twists, fros, puffs. Maybe it's the inner tomboy in me. Hell I wore that damn bob for years and before that a ponytail with the back hanging!

On one hand I got folks telling me that I should "perm it" to see how long it looks when straighten and on the other hand I got people telling me that I should get it locked up because I have great locking texture. Got white folks always wanting to touch it and (what always seems to be) young black girls giving me looks of disgust. Matter of fact there's this one in my class who has some of the most colored beat up ends I've to see, but have the nerve to look at me crazyerplexed

I like being natural though. It gives me a sense of freedom. Not saying that I was ever enslaved or anything like that. But I do feel liberated. I feel this way about my choice to become a half-arse vegan (I love chicken yall ). As strange as it may sound, for me being natural is a natural state of being. Like...I'm supposed to BE natural. It fits my personality and my lifestyle. However, it's not for everyone. Bottom line...it's just hair. For me at least.

I totally understand how some are a bit skeptical about if they should try it or not. For one, weak moment, I did worry about what would people think about my hair/me, and if I would look like my DF lil bro or not. But that feeling blew over real quick. I honestly don't care what people think of me. I "own" my look...it's me. Besides my boobs are too big and my face is too feminine to be able to pass as a guy.

 

[Inches411]

Wow. I can't imagine absolutely hating something that is a part of you. Oh well, maybe your kids will have "good" hair.

Hmm i dont think she hates her hair. From her response she seems like she found it difficult to deal with and didnt want to. I think it all depends on the person. Some ppl are able to deal with the natural hair and some struggle. I will eventually transition one day and if I feel its too much to deal with I will relax again but not because i hate my hair just becuase I find it easier.

 

[Diamond48]

Diamond, I respect your experience but I do disagree. What is accepted differs greatly depending on what region of the country you're in and also what field of law you go into. I live in NY and I work for a small firm - I know they don't care what I do with my hair because that's just the nature of the atmosphere here - very informal. However, many large firms in NY are far more traditional (even to the point where it's "more favorable" for a woman to wear a skirt as opposed to pants.) I don't know if you read American Lawyer but a couple of months ago, I think it was late last summer, they posted an article about an incident at Cleary Gottlieb where a Glamour magazine stylist had been invited to the firm to talk about new, modern, work appropriate looks. The stylist basically said afros and such "political hair styles" are a no-no. (i couldn't get access to the original article but if you google Cleary Gottlieb and Glamour you will find various sites discussing the inceident.) Now the firm and Glamour magazine spent several months following doing damage control. And clearly the stylist is a frigging idiot and I don't endorse what she said at all. However, the fact of the matter is that there are plenty of people, both Black and non-Black, in positions of authority who, though would not have said it, agree with ther stylist's opinion - it would be naive to think that this one woman is the only person that thinks like that. I'm not saying everyone thinks like she does, I'm saying there are enough that do.
I'm not coming into this field "looking to get ahead" because I have relaxed hair but what I don't want is to be discounted if i choose to have natural hair. So though the concept of natural hair being "unacceptable" may be played out at your big firm in LA, sadly, it's not quite so played out everywhere else in this field -and that's simply a fact.

Hi Angry Hair. The lady from Glamour got a lot of adverse reaction from within our field almost immediately after the article came out. I think she lost her job behind that ignorant article. I feel sorry for you guys in New York if the firms make you feel that natural hair is unacceptable. I wore a relaxer all my adult life until 2003 so I know the benefits of being 100% natural. My hair has grown into something I can easily manage and control. I got a compliment from a complete stranger with straight hair just today at lunch time --outdoors on the patio my Henna and HE LTR leave in was popping in the bright sun. Also the Henna has loosened my texture so much. I know that since my hair has become joyful to me, I'll never go back. Just enjoy your hair --that's what its about.

 

[HappyHairDreams]

Hi Angry Hair. The lady from Glamour got a lot of adverse reaction from within our field almost immediately after the article came out. I think she lost her job behind that ignorant article. I feel sorry for you guys in New York if the firms make you feel that natural hair is unacceptable. I wore a relaxer all my adult life until 2003 so I know the benefits of being 100% natural. My hair has grown into something I can easily manage and control. I got a compliment from a complete stranger with straight hair just today at lunch time --outdoors on the patio my Henna and HE LTR leave in was popping in the bright sun. Also the Henna has loosened my texture so much. I know that since my hair has become joyful to me, I'll never go back. Just enjoy your hair --that's what its about.

I agree, and it does suck that things are like that. Luckily though, it's not like that everywhere in the city. The place I'm at now doesn't care what I do with my hair but I'm still relaxed because I like it. Hopefully though, if/when I do decide to go natural I'll be at a place equally as tolerant.

 

[aloof one]

Some of you just need to leave it alone.

eTA: there is some good stuff in this thread though besides the nonsense

 

[Avyn]

I voted yes bc I am natural. I really wanted to color my hair and end the cycle of growth and breakage. So I decided after 5 months of stretching and going back and forth with myself, I read someone's post on here, went to the bathroom and cut it off. I am surprised at my texture, which is not as hard to deal with as I thought. I still haven't colored it - on the fence about that.

However, since BCing I have been a part of the wig challenge and have just been DCing and baggying under the wig (which = great results). I am so not a natural kinky haired kind of person(read ultra conservative). I'm ending my wig challenge the weekend b4 July 4th and I am so worried that I won't be able to care for my hair and keep it cute without the wig.

I really miss the straightness, but I am soooo loving the health of my hair and how fast it grows. I'm gon keep on growing it natural until I feel like I'm not looking my best or the inconvenience outweights the benefits (if that ever happens).

btw lauren450, your hair is so cute!!! did you just bc? remember seeing your fotki when I first subscribed to the site.

 

[beana]

I am currently relaxed and do plan on going natural in the near future. I'd like to reach my goal of thick healthy BSL relaxed hair first and wear that for a while. I've attempted to transition 2xs in the past few years and it wrecked my hair because I wanted to hold on to my relaxed ends. When I do finally decided to go natural, ill do the bc.

I have 4a hair that tends to be VERY dry so I know ill have 2 do the conditioner washes everyother day as a natural. To be honest I really excited to be natural

 

[Blu217]

I know the natural debate often hinges on hair types, with the 3x ladies seeming to have an easier time of it than us 4-types. I've often gotten strong advice to not relax from someone who was natural, but the well-intentioned adviser with the gorgeous natural had the straighter 3-type hair.

I know this is an unpopular statement around here, but I prefer the look of the curlier naturals. My TWA-rocking 3-type girlfriend with the shiny ringlets is always trying to tell me how much happier I'd be if I'd stop relaxing. So I asked her if she's ever dealt with the sort of kinks I naturally sprout. She finally admitted that no, she hasn't.

My hair grows in soft, teensy ringlets about the size of the barrel of a pen refill. Like most, some of it is defined, some of it is not. I worry about having fuzzy edges I can't lay down--the kinds of edges I have after several months without relaxing. It's not cute to me, no matter how much I enjoy the ringlets I grow out. I'm no fan of reversion on a 4-type head either. You work your hair for hours on end to get it looking one way, and 10 minutes after stepping outside it's all over, just because of a little humidity.

I don't relax because I love relaxers. I don't. I just find them practical for my lifestyle. My hair also thinned out on top from hair loss, and I worry about cutting off my hair or even just having it natural; not sure if you could see those areas through the coils. I think about going natural all the time. There are natural looks I like and natural looks I don't, and it depends entirely on the hair type. I've also heard a lot of naturals say they coudln't stick with it even after years of growing, simply because of the time it took to care for it.

I don't think there are easy answers. For most of us this decision--regardless the choice we make--seems to be less about what we want and more about what we need.

 

[ajoyfuljoy]

I know the natural debate often hinges on hair types, with the 3x ladies seeming to have an easier time of it than us 4-types. I've often gotten strong advice to not relax from someone who was natural, but the well-intentioned adviser with the gorgeous natural had the straighter 3-type hair.

I know this is an unpopular statement around here, but I prefer the look of the curlier naturals. My TWA-rocking 3-type girlfriend with the shiny ringlets is always trying to tell me how much happier I'd be if I'd stop relaxing. So I asked her if she's ever dealt with the sort of kinks I naturally sprout. She finally admitted that no, she hasn't.

My hair grows in soft, teensy ringlets about the size of the barrel of a pen refill. Like most, some of it is defined, some of it is not. I worry about having fuzzy edges I can't lay down--the kinds of edges I have after several months without relaxing. It's not cute to me, no matter how much I enjoy the ringlets I grow out. I'm no fan of reversion on a 4-type head either. You work your hair for hours on end to get it looking one way, and 10 minutes after stepping outside it's all over, just because of a little humidity.

I don't relax because I love relaxers. I don't. I just find them practical for my lifestyle. My hair also thinned out on top from hair loss, and I worry about cutting off my hair or even just having it natural; not sure if you could see those areas through the coils. I think about going natural all the time. There are natural looks I like and natural looks I don't, and it depends entirely on the hair type. I've also heard a lot of naturals say they coudln't stick with it even after years of growing, simply because of the time it took to care for it.

I don't think there are easy answers. For most of us this decision--regardless the choice we make--seems to be less about what we want and more about what we need.

well stated Blu217!

 

[sxyhairfetish]

This thread has been very interesting and is my source of entertainment while at work

But I am currently transitioning and some of the women on this board have indirectly helped me in my decision to go natural. I know how to deal with my str8 relaxed hair, but now its time for me to learn how to take care of my natural hair. I have been wanting to go natural for a long time but I was scared to because I loved the look of long hair on me as some of the others have said. I have learned that braidouts help with shrinkage and banding. (yes I was stalking many fotkis) So now that I know that, I want to now grow my natural hair out down to my waist. Shoot thats longer than my relaxed hair goal. But I want to prove a point to people and (I know some already have) that is that kinky hair can grow to great lengths too! I am willing to put in the man hours in my hair JUST to be another to prove that point. In my personal opinion, growing my hair out natural gives me a newfound sense of pride. Other cultures have pride in their heritage, so why cant I in its rawest form? Kinky hair and all. Our hair is beautiful.

Relaxed hair is great, but... it sucked one time when I went into a dominican salon and I had newgrowth at 5 months post, the damn lady sat me down and was looking at my newgrowth with her face screwed up like i had a disease on my head. I combed out my hair and everything. She had a stank attitude and I didnt like it talking in spanish to the woman next to her with a look of disgust on her face. I said "IS THERE A PROBLEM?" she said "no mami" I said "so why the attitude when you touching my hair???" then she started acting like she didnt know what I was saying. I said " IF THATS THE CASE I WILL TAKE MY MONEY ELSEWHERE" people in the salon lookin at me like I was crazy. Then the manager comes over and says "is everything ok?" So i told her wat happened and the lady walks away. The manager says, "no its just alot of newgrowth" I said "if she dosent want to do it, I'm sure there will be many others that will be glad to take my money" so she says "ok mami im sorry about that I will do it as soon as I finish this other perm" so I said "ok" and gave that chick the evil eye... I was heated. Then finally after waiting 5 minutes I picked my stuff up and I left. Before I left she said "where are u going?" I said "somewhere else, im not feeling ya'll AT ALL." and I left. I was so mad and thas the first time I ever felt like someone was disgusted with my hair. So I went to another salon and she did my hair with no problem. I even spoke to her about it. I would have went to my normal stylist but the salon was closed that day. When she was done I payed her, and tipped her and I walked past the previous salon and was swinging my hair all in the window. They were mad.

I am saying that my decision to go natural is more of a "TAKE THAT" approach because we too have beatiful hair and I want to show people there is nothing wrong with some kinks and coils. Black hair is beautiful i dont care how kinky coily or whatever, its what makes us unique. If other people cant handle that, thats not my problem. (no offense to anyone) This board and the world wide web has definitely made my decision easier, and gives great tips on what styles to wear on natural hair and what products work best. I am excited and I cant wait.

 

[blasiancurlie]

love this story! way to tell them off!! and i agree natural is beautiful no matter how many disgusted looks you get.

This thread has been very interesting and is my source of entertainment while at work

But I am currently transitioning and some of the women on this board have indirectly helped me in my decision to go natural. I know how to deal with my str8 relaxed hair, but now its time for me to learn how to take care of my natural hair. I have been wanting to go natural for a long time but I was scared to because I loved the look of long hair on me as some of the others have said. I have learned that braidouts help with shrinkage and banding. (yes I was stalking many fotkis) So now that I know that, I want to now grow my natural hair out down to my waist. Shoot thats longer than my relaxed hair goal. But I want to prove a point to people and (I know some already have) that is that kinky hair can grow to great lengths too! I am willing to put in the man hours in my hair JUST to be another to prove that point. In my personal opinion, growing my hair out natural gives me a newfound sense of pride. Other cultures have pride in their heritage, so why cant I in its rawest form? Kinky hair and all. Our hair is beautiful.

Relaxed hair is great, but... it sucked one time when I went into a dominican salon and I had newgrowth at 5 months post, the damn lady sat me down and was looking at my newgrowth with her face screwed up like i had a disease on my head. I combed out my hair and everything. She had a stank attitude and I didnt like it talking in spanish to the woman next to her with a look of disgust on her face. I said "IS THERE A PROBLEM?" she said "no mami" I said "so why the attitude when you touching my hair???" then she started acting like she didnt know what I was saying. I said " IF THATS THE CASE I WILL TAKE MY MONEY ELSEWHERE" people in the salon lookin at me like I was crazy. Then the manager comes over and says "is everything ok?" So i told her wat happened and the lady walks away. The manager says, "no its just alot of newgrowth" I said "if she dosent want to do it, I'm sure there will be many others that will be glad to take my money" so she says "ok mami im sorry about that I will do it as soon as I finish this other perm" so I said "ok" and gave that chick the evil eye... I was heated. Then finally after waiting 5 minutes I picked my stuff up and I left. Before I left she said "where are u going?" I said "somewhere else, im not feeling ya'll AT ALL." and I left. I was so mad and thas the first time I ever felt like someone was disgusted with my hair. So I went to another salon and she did my hair with no problem. I even spoke to her about it. I would have went to my normal stylist but the salon was closed that day. When she was done I payed her, and tipped her and I walked past the previous salon and was swinging my hair all in the window. They were mad.

I am saying that my decision to go natural is more of a "TAKE THAT" approach because we too have beatiful hair and I want to show people there is nothing wrong with some kinks and coils. Black hair is beautiful i dont care how kinky coily or whatever, its what makes us unique. If other people cant handle that, thats not my problem. (no offense to anyone) This board and the world wide web has definitely made my decision easier, and gives great tips on what styles to wear on natural hair and what products work best. I am excited and I cant wait.

 

[sxyhairfetish]

love this story! way to tell them off!! and i agree natural is beautiful no matter how many disgusted looks you get.

thank u that situation hurt me in a way... but i guess my rebellious side is coming out. That was it for me. Noooooo more.

 

[KiniKakes]

I think the straight look, however achieved, is what relaxer wearers/flat ironers want, and it's easier for most to get that by using chemicals. I think most women would stop using relaxers if there was a way to achieve the straight look, not have to worry about reversion, and not have to restraighten every few days.

My sentiments exactly.

I wear my hair straight nearly everyday..... i would love to wear it big and natural sometimes, but because straight is my preference, i think i'd end up putting heat on it far too often, and it would totally damage it. So i opt for the permanency of a relaxer to straighten it. Its too bad, because i'd love to be natural just for the purpose of versatility. But i dont think that makes sense for me at this point in time. Maybe one day!

 

[BeautifulFlower]

Thank you for saying this.

I'm transitioning, but I don't look at relaxers as crack. I think the straight look, however achieved, is what relaxer wearers/flat ironers want, and it's easier for most to get that by using chemicals. I think most women would stop using relaxers if there was a way to achieve the straight look, not have to worry about reversion, and not have to restraighten every few days. JMO

 

[cupcakes]

i think im going to take the plunge

 

[honesty]

After many a thought process, I finally decided to seriously transition and I couldn't be more excited.

I transitioned once before back in 2006 but I quit after 6 months because I didn't know how to properly care for both textures. For the record, I refuse to BC.

Transitioning to natural I think is a lot deeper than people think; I think it's also a soul searching experience - getting to become yourself as you were from birth.

Plus, I'm on here with a bunch of ladies who have done it and got there healthy and safely. I'm sure I'll be just fine

I am glad you brought how the process of transitioning is "deeper" than what most people think. I quite relaxing out of frustration and not being able to grow my hair out ( i had no clue how to take care of my own hair and my beautican didn't have much of a clue either apparently) but during my transition i read many books discovered NP and made mind over, much more determined to go natural, love whatever texture my hair would be , and be confdinent and natural

 

[RegaLady]

I want natural hair, but not to wear a huge afro, or twists. I would wear my hair in nice curls or waves. Preferably a press or flat iron then curls or braid out. Straight hair doesn't appeal to me a whole lot. It is very convenient for my style. But I just want the fullness natural hair promises!

 

[Denise11]

I use to entertain the thought of going natural, but not anymore! I just love my relaxed hair too much!