Youtube Broke My Hair!! Devastating Set Back

[imsovain]

I think that once she realized it was matted she could have:
1. rinsed, rinsed, rinsed in the shower without applying anything else
2. put on gobs of a tried and true moisturizing treatment
3. gone under the dryer on low for 30-60 minutes and then sleep with it in
4. tried to finger detangle.

Still tangled? I would go back to step 1.

That said, I've been at that exhausted, frustrated deranged point and just ripped through my hair. That's like the valley of the shadow of hair death. I feel for her.

 

[jennex]

I agree 100%. You have to stick with what works for you.

This year will make 17 years natural for me. What I've learned is simple: Stick with what you know. I love trying things, but like someone else said, typically most of my "new" stuff is extremely similar to my tried and true products. Seriously, every time I have hair issues it's because I didn't follow my own rules for my hair. I truly feel bad for her.

Same here. And I think I finally learned my lession after my own setback last year. I remember reading an article on a natural hair blog that said you should do all your experimenting with your hair while it's still short. So if you damage it and you have to cut it, it's not a big loss. If I had hair that long and I had to possibly cut it all off I would be crying too.

 

[GGsKin]

I thought the video was too long. Unusual for me, I managed to get through most of the vid without skipping.

Just the other week I was in here complaining about how I had to literally unthread single strands of my hair from 'clumped' tangles- caused by not washing out my gel for 3-4 weeks, so yeah...her detangling techniques (applied to her mum's hair) wouldn't work for me. It would break right where she was yanking (maybe that is a problem with my hair but I still wouldn't let her close).

I agree wholeheartedly with the detangling/ gel issue. As someone who finger detangles 100% and uses gel, I work hard to get as many sheds out as possible and I will still have more if I use a comb (every 3-4 months). I can only imagine how much shed hair she had in there before she reached for the gel.

That being said, I empathise because I understand the task she had and I don't even have half of her length. No one wants to lose hair, especially from their own error, no matter how long it is.

 

[LostInAdream]

i know the feeling. She should just shave it all off and start over.

 

[Alma Petra]

I think that once she realized it was matted she could have:
1. rinsed, rinsed, rinsed in the shower without applying anything else
2. put on gobs of a tried and true moisturizing treatment
3. gone under the dryer on low for 30-60 minutes and then sleep with it in
4. tried to finger detangle.

Still tangled? I would go back to step 1.

That said, I've been at that exhausted, frustrated deranged point and just ripped through my hair. That's like the valley of the shadow of hair death. I feel for her.

This is so true. Just on my last wash day, after fully finger detangling my hair I used a product that tangled my hair up on contact. I just stopped, took a deep breath, told myself not to panic, and then carefully washed it out. I added oil and my favourite conditioner generously and redid the whole finger detangling thing all over again. It was more challenging than the first time. Hair not washed for 13 days was easier to detangle than hair exposed to the wrong product for a few seconds. But I am glad that I didn't panic or got impatient and ripped through my hair. On my next wash day I will detangle with conditioner first then shampoo to get any residual effects from that product out of my hair. I believe that shampoo is also one of the things to avoid if one's hair is tangled up because by stripping it tends to make the knots much more difficult to remove. So to get rid of the offending product you might need to repeatedly rinse with water and a slippery conditioner/cowash.

Throughout 2016 I used the green ecostyler to do wash and goes on exclusively finger detangled hair. As you guys said it's unlikely that it's the product itself that is inherently bad. Probably a combination of stripped hair, not adequately detangled hair, and the gel.

 

[FoxxyLocs]

From watching that video of her detangling her mom's hair, I would say her technique probably led to more damage. She just rubbed the hair with conditioner and started yanking. I would have let the conditioner soak in with a plastic cap before attempting to get the knots out. And the process probably would have taken days, but she could have saved a lot more of her hair.

It takes a lot of patience to deal with severely matted hair, but I'd rather do that than spend months or years trying to rebound from a setback caused by ripping through my hair.

This did make me want to watch some of her old videos. I love her hair.

ETA: Also it sounded like she used gel for her twists without any other product. I have used gel for a braid out or twist out before, but always a small amount layered over a moisturizer. I've never had a problem with matting.

 

[Theresamonet]

I have sympathy for anyone having a setback, because I know how much effort, time, money, etc., that we put into this hair thing. But the title of the video + the length of the video + all those dramatic pauses, caused my sympathy to wane a bit.

How are you making a video about how getting caught up in the YouTube world caused this problem, but your title is click bait? All the extra-ness and drama was for YouTube, imo. Y'all do realize that these people don't have to film a video until they are ready? They get on crying and long pausing for views, and dassit.

But regarding the setback...

This didn't have to end the way it did, IMO. With patience and oil/conditioner, she could have worked it out. I have very easily tangled hair, and having patience is the only way I have any hair at all. I've seen many people comb out dread locs they've had for years, and finish with healthy, full hair. I'd have gotten a pin tail comb and took as many days as needed to unravel those tangles, cause I would not be losing 7+ years of progress over hair gel. She lost her hair because she freaked out. Understandable. I've been there. But if anyone is to take something away from her experience, it should be to do the opposite of what she did.

 

[BlackRinse]

She looks like she could take off 3", do regular treatments w/ amla oil, throw her hair in some single braids and survive. Although I have been in despair over my hair and can resonate with her pain. Her hair can still make a turn around. She does not need to start all over honestly.

 

[Colocha]

This reminded me of what happened when I tried MHM. My roots matted under the gel and I freaked out. The freaking out is honestly what got her.

My roots matted again two days ago from a different gel (not nearly as much though). I applied oil and left it and rubbed at the strands until the gel broke down and came out.

Wetting tangled hair with gel in it makes it 10x worse in my experience because the hair coils up more.

That said I feel for her. She lost a lot of progress and must feel terribly.

 

[Saludable84]

I agree that it seems like more of a combination of things. I would not have tried so many new things at once.

I also hope I can explain this right, but this is also why it can be important acknowledge, understand, trial and put to necessary use different types of washing, methods, etc, when needed. I can’t guarantee her hair would have come out any different, but when I do wash and gos, knowing I’m using gel, I wash and condition my hair differently. I know my usual method is not transferable.

 

[jennex]

This is so true. Just on my last wash day, after fully finger detangling my hair I used a product that tangled my hair up on contact. I just stopped, took a deep breath, told myself not to panic, and then carefully washed it out.

I bet that's why she lost so much hair. She panicked. It would have been better if she had reached out to her followers or a forum like LHCF for help. Even hair gurus need guidance sometimes.

 

[I Am So Blessed]

@Soaring Eagle Hi, could you also upload the response video from Natural Hair Addictions please. I find it so helpful in every way.

TIA!

 

[jennex]

There's a lot of helpful tips in the comments section of the video. I hope she's reading them. I'm taking notes myself.

 

[ThatJerseyGirl]

damn. i would be pissed. i feel for her. i actually sat and watched the video and she wanted to cry so bad. a woman's hair is her crown and glory, so i get it. I don't like the title of the video, but hey....

she ended that video like she was going to commit hair suicide and cut it all off bald....i hope she didn't...

 

[I Am So Blessed]

There's a lot of helpful tips in the comments section of the video. I hope she's reading them. I'm taking notes myself.

Me too! I will make sure that this will not happen to me. My hair is long and entering into the "very long" territory so I better be more careful.

 

[Honi]

I never heard of her until I saw the video on my feed but if she doesn't detangle thoroughly like you ladies said then it began there. I never heard of anyone doing twists with gel before and she left it in for a few days. I use an oil underneath my gel. Pre poo with oil, rinse thoroughly and detangle gently before proceeding a wash routine.

Video is long because she's devastated also providing her thought process as to how she got there. She said she rinsed and noticed something different but instead of adding conditioner to work that out, she shampooed, then condition and really messed up by clarifying. Now it's dry, clumpy and matted. She needs lots of a slippery conditioner and greasy oil mix , sit under the dryer and patience. This is awful.

 

[Soaring Eagle]

@Soaring Eagle Hi, could you also upload the response video from Natural Hair Addictions please. I find it so helpful in every way.

TIA!

Just added it to the initial post. Good looking out.

 

[ThatJerseyGirl]

I think the reason why it may have taken her so long is....I think she feels as if she has failed herself, as well as her followers, so it was almost like she was giving a confession. She couldn't dive in and state the obvious, so it took her some time - she had to work up to that point. I don't know....I just know that I feel really bad for her. My goodness. When you have long hair or any length of hair, you have to always thoroughly detangle before jumping in the shower to wash.

I know at times I have gotten frustrated, partly because I was tired. In that case, I bun it and return to it the next day.

 

[nubiangoddess3]

@Soaring Eagle Hi, could you also upload the response video from Natural Hair Addictions please. I find it so helpful in every way.

TIA!

Indian Ghee

 

[snoop]

You guys scared me off of watching her video. I can't do it if it's over 5 minutes unless it's very helpful.

I will say this as someone who hasn't used gel since that one time in the 90s, I didn't know that you had to detangle first before using gel. My mind is telling me that it should be water soluble and that it would easily rinse out in the shower. All the more reason for me not to use it.

As for the way she detangled her mother's hair: I feel like she was trying to copy those trending videos where the stylist rips apart someone's old, unkempt locs then ends the video with the shiny, fresh, new ones. I would have soaked my hair with conditioner, like @FoxxyLocs suggested and added heat to make sure that it penetrated really well. I don't think she used conditioner at all. She only used shea butter (or coconut oil -- I forget which).

 

[YvetteWithJoy]

Anyone else consider that response video to be epic? Woo!

 

[Coilystep]

Anyone else consider that response video to be epic? Woo!

I actually enjoyed the response video. I felt like I learned something. If I ever have a detangling issue I will use the ghee method he described.

 

[YvetteWithJoy]

I actually enjoyed the response video. I felt like I learned something. If I ever have a detangling issue I will use the ghee method he described.

Me, too!

 

[Theresamonet]

Using ghee was popular here at one point. Y'all don't remember that? For me, it's wasn't much different that using coconut or olive oil.

The last time I had serious knots and tangles, oil wasn't doing the trick so I switched to that horse detangler (what's the name of it??). It worked a miracle.

ETA: Cowboy Magic!!

 

[charmtreese]

This is why I always prepoo...espcially after wearing twist/twist out. I wouldn’t dare just jump in the shower and commence to shampooing my hair without properly prepooing. But she said she has really strong hair, I have fine fragile hair that can’t take a lot and requires extra steps.

 

[healthyhair2]

I think I may know how this happened. First of all, I feel bad for her. Something similar happened to me years ago when I jumped in the shower after taking out braids that I had in. As soon as the water hit my dry hair, it was a matted mess. I think for her the gel dried the hair and possibly using conditioner and oil on dry hair before the water hit it could have helped. The gel without oil and conditioner first just makes the hair contract. When I had my matting incident, I was frantic. I went to Brooklyn after work to buy some Take Down hair cream, slathered my hair with the whole bottle and went to work the next day with a shower cap covered with a scarf AND a Yankees hat. It took me hours to detangle over 2 days with the end of a rattail comb, but I saved my hair. I just wish she could have gotten help before cutting her hair. I'm getting ready to BC because of a setback. I know when my hair doesn't look like I want it to, it can make me feel a bit blah. My heart goes out to her.

 

[yorkpatties]

This is the first time I've seen this vlogger.

My hair is nowhere near as lovely as hers, but I have been natural for about just as long and have had a few setbacks myself. As a reformed product junkie, I've learned on my journey that neither Shea Moisture nor Eco Styler are friends of mine. I know many have great experiences with products from those brands, which is why I tried them. They just aren't for me.

This video was super long (I listened to most of it, watch some of it) and I understand why. I do get the feeling that she felt she had let her followers down. A setback can not only affect your self-esteem but as a "guru" I suppose she feels like she should have known better. She is probably questioning whether she still has enough credibility to continue making tutorials. Set-backs happen (I should know) and I really hope she decides to continue.

 

[NaturallyATLPCH]

How is this YouTube's fault? Following other YouTubers that did the same thing? I could click on the video but I'm sure it is 23 minutes of her doing that and why.
Only thoughts I would have would be to stop looking at what others do and proceed with logic and science behind it.
I forgot that this is the information age where things are technological and digital. We did not have YouTube back in my day and other people's experiences to follow so we actually had to read and apply theory based science verses watching YT videos.
Now before you come for me, this is coming from someone who could care less about hair (I have shaved mine into a mohawk) but still want people to understand you just cannot do what everyone else does. It is hair, it will grow back. I realize for some it is the end of the world though.

 

[snoop]

I'm not sure that I understand the rationale behind letting anyone down. I'll have to try to watch a part of this video. Did she lie and say the product was great and get found out?

There are others who have had setbacks and they roll with it and move on. Off the top of my head, I'm thinking Napptutal85 when she coloured het hair and it didn't agree with her. I don't remember a 25 minute long vid about the setback but I could be wrong.

 

[CurliDiva]

So, she decides to use a gel product she "never" used typically to create twists just for the "on-camera" look; and then decided tried to fix the build-up problem by using two more "new" un-tested products on her hair. It sounds like her detangling disaster happened in a few hours - it could have taken her days to gently detangle based on the volume of her hair.

Sometimes, you just need to stop, regroup without rushing and stick with what you know works for your hair. I did not watch all of her videos, but did she wash loose hair? add oils/butter to help with slip? finger detangle? Work in small sections?