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Why? Why? Why....

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HappilyLiberal

Well-Known Member
Didn't you guys love me enough to stop me?

One of you should have been able to know through osmosis what I was about to do!

One of you couldn't have flown down here and slapped it out of my hands before the damage was done?

Yes, 19 months, 2 weeks post relaxer and 13 months, 2 weeks post BC, I put a relaxer in my hair... and immediately regretted it... Now I have to start all over...

:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

My mom is very happy though!
 
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Didn't you guys love me enough to stop me?

One of you should have been able to know through osmosis what I was about to do!

One of you couldn't have flown down here and slapped it out of my hands before the damage was done?

Yes, 19 months, 2 weeks post relaxer and 13 months, 2 weeks post BC, I put a relaxer in my hair... and immediately regretted it... Now I have to start all over...

:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

My mom is very happy though!

Yikes, sorry...! :sad:

Just remember this feeling the next time you get the urge to relax, is the only advice I have
 
Aww.. acting on a hair impulse is usually not a good thing.

I would say try to enjoy your hair in its transitioning state, take a look at the relaxed threads for tips, you can still have healthy hair and look cute while going natural again :). It's just another experience...
 
OOOHHHHHHHH! Sorry mama! You're on your own with this one. But I will say.......Now you know how to do everything right, so if you want to keep it relaxed or transition, it's going to be gorgeous!
 
Wow that sucks. If it were me id wait for a little news growth to pop up and just big chop. Long term transition are just not for me. Good Luck!! Now that the urge is out of you system I doubt you'll relax again.
 
Dang, I know the feeling. Sorry to hear. 19 months will fly by again so you can transition again without the trial and error of the first time. Next time you get the urge to relax, protective style until the feeling passes.
 
Didn't you guys love me enough to stop me?

One of you should have been able to know through osmosis what I was about to do!

One of you couldn't have flown down here and slapped it out of my hands before the damage was done?

Yes, 19 months, 2 weeks post relaxer and 13 months, 2 weeks post BC, I put a relaxer in my hair... and immediately regretted it... Now I have to start all over...

:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

My mom is very happy though!


Oooooooh HappilyLiberal. I’m sooooo sorry. Had I known you were even contemplating this, I would have cautioned you against it. You see, I also relaxed my hair on an impulse back on March 3, 2012. I went natural in 2007, transitioned for 15 months, big chopped in September 2008 and was natural for almost 3 years. Talk about acting on an impulse ... :lol:

But I don’t regret it though because I’m using this as a learning experience. I know for sure now that I DEFINITELY prefer natural hair for me, so I’m transitioning all over again. No regrets. Had I not texlaxed my hair, I would have continued to be curious about it. Now I know.

It will be OK. Just work with it for now and have fun during this stage of your journey … again … and I will do the same.

We'll get through it, girl. :grin:
 
Sorry lady...but you are not alone. I put a Just for Me "Texturizer" on my hair about 3 years ago. That mess is the devil in a box, it ruined my hair. So I had to cut it off and start all over. I feel your pain, but It's hair and it will grow back :).
 
Aw, you should have come here and told us what you were contemplating.
Us naturals would have talked you out of it! :grin:

As for me about a year ago I bought a box of texturiser and kept taking it out the cupboard for 2 months, reading the packaging and all :look:. I finally threw it out. Glad I did.

Remember hair will grow. Shave your head so you don't see the relaxed hair!!!! :drunk:
 
I think part of the problem is that I had been flat-ironing my natural hair and had heat damage. My mom H.A.T.E.S. natural hair and she had been commenting and with all the other stress in my life it seemed like a good idea at the time.

One good thing is that when I BC'd before, I felt I did it too early and needed a longer transition. My hair was at that in-between stage were nothing looked right so I relaxed to get some length. So this time I will transition longer than six months. I'm thinking something closer to 18-24 months this time.
 
Oooooooh @HappilyLiberal. I’m sooooo sorry. Had I known you were even contemplating this, I would have cautioned you against it. You see, I also relaxed my hair on an impulse back on March 3, 2012. I went natural in 2007, transitioned for 15 months, big chopped in September 2008 and was natural for almost 3 years. Talk about acting on an impulse ... :lol:

But I don’t regret it though because I’m using this as a learning experience. I know for sure now that I DEFINITELY prefer natural hair for me, so I’m transitioning all over again. No regrets. Had I not texlaxed my hair, I would have continued to be curious about it. Now I know.

It will be OK. Just work with it for now and have fun during this stage of your journey … again … and I will do the same.

We'll get through it, girl. :grin:

TaraDyan - You relaxed??? But, whyyyyyyyyyyyy? *wall slide*
tumblr_m618uezqf91rr3ggp.gif
 
I think part of the problem is that I had been flat-ironing my natural hair and had heat damage. My mom H.A.T.E.S. natural hair and she had been commenting and with all the other stress in my life it seemed like a good idea at the time.

One good thing is that when I BC'd before, I felt I did it too early and needed a longer transition. My hair was at that in-between stage were nothing looked right so I relaxed to get some length. So this time I will transition longer than six months. I'm thinking something closer to 18-24 months this time.

I feel you. I had the same issue with heat damage. It's really easy for me to damage my natural curl pattern with heat, so after I transition again, I need to leave the heat alone for a while.

HappilyLiberal: so what kind of styles are you planning during this second transition?
 
TaraDyan - You relaxed??? But, whyyyyyyyyyyyy? *wall slide*

:lol::lol::lol:

Your Cheeziness: LOL @ the dramatic wall slide!!

I know, Cheezi ... I know. I can't tell you how many of my friends, family and co-workers wanted to throttle me. I have a Chinese co-worker who had a fit when she found out I relaxed. She loves curly hair because her hair is so straight. She was literally mad at me. :lol:

But it's all good. We're just going to transition again and deal with it, won't we HappilyLiberal?

By the way, Cheezi ... your hair has been lookin' FABU these days! I've been peepin' your avatars and siggies. :yep:
 
I feel you. I had the same issue with heat damage. It's really easy for me to damage my natural curl pattern with heat, so after I transition again, I need to leave the heat alone for a while.

@HappilyLiberal: so what kind of styles are you planning during this second transition?

Buns, buns, and more buns... that's what worked for me the last time. I was content to continue with my transition, but I let my cousin talk me into the BC at six months. I really think I would have been a lot happier with a longer transition.
 
I am so sorry this happened. I know you may be discouraged now, however be encouraged... your hair will grow back. 19 months will fly by and you will remember this experience. Transitioning is challenging, we are here to support you. Remember the LHCF community is here 24 hrs to answer questions and uplift you. Also some of us that became natural didn't initially have the support of family and friends until later in the journey when we learned our hair. You do you and remember we are here whether you want to transition, BC or stay relaxed. HUGS!!! :)
 
You live and you learn. I think that if you make it to about 5 yrs of nappturality the urge to relax is almost nil. At the beginning of my hair journey I resolved to give my natural nappy kinky hair just as much of a chance if not more than my relaxed hair to thrive. I was relaxed for over 25 yrs!! So why not give my natural hair at least that much time?
 
Buns, buns, and more buns... that's what worked for me the last time. I was content to continue with my transition, but I let my cousin talk me into the BC at six months. I really think I would have been a lot happier with a longer transition.

Sounds like a good plan. Buns are always a safe bet. I also like Curlformers too, since they pull the roots taut and allow you to style without heat.

Don't worry, HL. Like everyone has already said, this second transition will fly by, especially if you don't obsess about it (easier said than done, I know).

This detour will merely be a blip on your hair journey radar.
 
Aww HL...well the good news is that your hair will grow back and you have all the hair care artillery aimed and ready to get you back where you want to be.

Question: How often were you flat-ironing? Did you want to be a straight natural or did you just want the flexibility of having curly hair and the occasional straight hair option?

I think part of the problem is that I had been flat-ironing my natural hair and had heat damage. My mom H.A.T.E.S. natural hair and she had been commenting and with all the other stress in my life it seemed like a good idea at the time.

One good thing is that when I BC'd before, I felt I did it too early and needed a longer transition. My hair was at that in-between stage were nothing looked right so I relaxed to get some length. So this time I will transition longer than six months. I'm thinking something closer to 18-24 months this time.
 
I say enjoy the straight hair during a looong transition. I have been having thoughts of going natural and even thought of cutting of my relaxed hair down to the NG when I was in 2strand twist a few wks ago, but I new it was just a thought and not what I really wanted. We can do strange things when we get bored with our hair and have surpassed many goals. I'm on a longer stretch than usual to figure it out.
 
:lol::lol::lol:

@Your Cheeziness: LOL @ the dramatic wall slide!!

I know, Cheezi ... I know. I can't tell you how many of my friends, family and co-workers wanted to throttle me. I have a Chinese co-worker who had a fit when she found out I relaxed. She loves curly hair because her hair is so straight. She was literally mad at me. :lol:

But it's all good. We're just going to transition again and deal with it, won't we @HappilyLiberal?

By the way, Cheezi ... your hair has been lookin' FABU these days! I've been peepin' your avatars and siggies. :yep:


Thanks, I'm with you ladies. Since I relaxed my hair last year from being natural, I literally kick myself. I could have PSed it out until the urge passed. So, happyLiberal, you're not alone. We'll transition on out (again) together! I definitely need the motivation.
 
AWWWW Happily! Please enjoy your hair as you transition, and come to us if your mom is making comments that are hurting you. (Some of the ladies here know respectful and witty comebacks :lol:)

There are many long term transitioners here that seem to be sailing by. I know they will be supportive of your journey. :yep:
 
I think your mom should be less of a factor when it comes to your hair, health, body, etc... You live, you learn...and since you've already transitioned and been natural, this time around it will be a breeze.
 
I understand how you feel. I transitioned for over a year but then I had an event coming up and I didn't know what to do with my hair. So my mom suggested that I get a relaxer. I did, only to regret it and go right back to transitioning.

I made sure I was better prepared during my second transition (LHCF was a big help in this regard) and now that first failed attempt to go natural is just part of my hairstory. And to add icing on the cake, after being natural for maybe a year or two, my mom followed my lead and went natural herself.
 
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