If You Would Have Had Long Hair Then.....

[empressri]

Hell so far growing up I've been accused of:

REPEATEDLY of being white, half white, half whatever, having another daddy
Thinking that I was better than everyone else
Wearing a wig (what 12 year old girl is wearing a wig?)

ALL from total and complete strangers.

And my hair wasn't even half of the length that it is now.

I didn't know squat about my hair until the ignorance of others when they made nasty comments. The most I can remember is standing behind two white people in a supermarket, mother and daughter with long, straight blonde hair.

The mom flicked her hair, and the daughter did it right after the mother lol. It just made me wonder why I had to always wear my hair in a ponytail and couldn't flick it like them...but I moved on.

But long hair, short hair, no hair, people will give you sh*t no matter what you have. Folks are predisposed to give their unsolicited opinions about things that have absolutely nothing to do with them.

 

[RegaLady]

I am curious to know how long hair has changed many people's lives since it can be assumed that having long hair could change a situation for a person. I am not talking about compliments considering nice hair in general will warrant a compliment and I am not talking abot men showering considering, it doesn't take a whole lot to impress a man.


I really am curious to know in what periods in people's lives did long hair really matter, how it helped them out of poverty, how it gave them a job promotion, etc? Or where they think it could have helped their overall quality of life.

 

[BlkOnyx488]

Well dang when you put it like that!! LOL
I am 37 yrs old, married for 10 years, two kids, mortgage, Zumba Instructor and two guinea pigs
in short my life is set! I am enjoying the personal sense of accomplishment I feel finally conquering this hair growing thing.

It's nice to know my hair can grow!

But having longer hair will not change my life. Unless I discover I am like Samson and my hair makes me stronger.
Then I will get on Oprah She will uncancel her show for my strength

I am curious to know how long hair has changed many people's lives since it can be assumed that having long hair could change a situation for a person. I am not talking about compliments considering nice hair in general will warrant a compliment and I am not talking abot men showering considering, it doesn't take a whole lot to impress a man.


I really am curious to know in what periods in people's lives did long hair really matter, how it helped them out of poverty, how it gave them a job promotion, etc? Or where they think it could have helped their overall quality of life.

 

[My Friend]

All I know is... when I wear my daily bun or a shrunken style, I may as well be camouflaged. I wore my hair straight (it's a decent length - a couple inches from BSL), and it's like everyone went bananas. I got so much attention it was ridiculous.
I had a very low self-esteem growing up, and it's still a daily struggle, but I feel like maybe that would have made things a little different. I don't invest my entire esteem in my looks or anything, but that's what was always pinpointed when people talked badly about me to my face or behind my back. I imagine that feeling of not being invisible would have made me feel a little bit better growing up.
But who knows?

ETA: I'm confused... If it IS just hair, I'm not quite sure why the people saying that are even members of this forum dedicated to hair, AND posting in the hair section.

davisbr88


Let the church say Amen.

 

[MrsJaiDiva]

Eh...I always had long hair, but I was also really smart and heavy set...which is like a death sentence in the Bronx. It's always easy to look back and go "things would have been better if...", but it's the hard knocks that make you. My personal knocks were HARD...but I'm like a diamond now.

So, now I have short hair, I'm still really smart, and I'm still heavy set....but I have a lot more going on than any one of those things, and none of those things is a negative to me right now. Hair can grow, and fat can loose...and I can dumb it down for those people who aren't on my level. And if you don't like it...kick rocks n keep it moving!

 

[MrsJaiDiva]

Hell so far growing up I've been accused of:

REPEATEDLY of being white, half white, half whatever, having another daddy
Thinking that I was better than everyone else
Wearing a wig (what 12 year old girl is wearing a wig?)

ALL from total and complete strangers.

And my hair wasn't even half of the length that it is now.

I didn't know squat about my hair until the ignorance of others when they made nasty comments. The most I can remember is standing behind two white people in a supermarket, mother and daughter with long, straight blonde hair.

The mom flicked her hair, and the daughter did it right after the mother lol. It just made me wonder why I had to always wear my hair in a ponytail and couldn't flick it like them...but I moved on.

But long hair, short hair, no hair, people will give you sh*t no matter what you have. Folks are predisposed to give their unsolicited opinions about things that have absolutely nothing to do with them.

TESTIFY!! I can't stop for other peoples opinions anymore...they rate up there with the importance of the dust under my fridge.

GIFSoup

 

[davisbr88]

Unless I missed something, isn't it just $6.50 to join this forum? I got a coffee and a snack two hours ago for more than that . My hair has become my mini hobby, but it is not the most important or even near the more important things in the world to me. I spend far more on other hobbies and I don't think they are that serious either.

The 'why join a hair forum' if it is not that serious is not a well thought out one.

Making a bunch of assumptions from something I said is also not well thought out. At no point did I say it was the most important thing in the world. I wouldn't think it would be. What I do know is what I said - it seems odd to me to invest the time and money, however small, into something you really don't care that much about.
Furthermore, I am not at liberty to tell someone else what is serious to them or isn't. I don't know what they're going through and find people shirking things off saying it's not as serious as YOU ALL are making it (not saying, "it's not that serious to me" like what you said in your post, but basically saying it also shouldn't be that serious to someone else) is rude and insensitive. My hair is not the most important thing to me but I do take it seriously. I personally don't think doing a lot of things that many people do are that serious to me but far be it from me to belittle someone else's struggle.
In any case, that's not the point of this thread.

No, I don't think having long hair would have affected work or going to school or anything like that but yes, I think it may have positively impacted my self-esteem back then. But there's really no way of knowing. People will find a way to make you feel crappy no matter what you have.

 

[My Friend]

We are on a hair board we are on a hair board, nan nana nan na * sticks out tongue*

 

[*CherryPie*]

What in the WORLD did you think a thread was FOR?erplexed

It's a place where people post THEIR OPINIONS.

If you are this touchy about this subject, maybe you shouldn't be responding and reading opinions. People are gonna say what they feel. And I don't see where anyone has said anything insensitive to anyone. Girl, you need to toughen up.

Making a bunch of assumptions from something I said is also not well thought out. At no point did I say it was the most important thing in the world. I wouldn't think it would be. What I do know is what I said - it seems odd to me to invest the time and money, however small, into something you really don't care that much about.
Furthermore, I am not at liberty to tell someone else what is serious to them or isn't. I don't know what they're going through and find people shirking things off saying it's not as serious as YOU ALL are making it (not saying, "it's not that serious to me" like what you said in your post, but basically saying it also shouldn't be that serious to someone else) is rude and insensitive. My hair is not the most important thing to me but I do take it seriously. I personally don't think doing a lot of things that many people do are that serious to me but far be it from me to belittle someone else's struggle.
In any case, that's not the point of this thread.

No, I don't think having long hair would have affected work or going to school or anything like that but yes, I think it may have positively impacted my self-esteem back then. But there's really no way of knowing. People will find a way to make you feel crappy no matter what you have.

 

[Dposh167]

uhhh I'm just assumming that the OP was talking about social incidents that could have been different if your hair was longer. I took this as a light hearted thread. I didn't think it was that deep.

But i'm a "keep it one hun'ed" type of person sooo...

I think i could have bagged my crush in 11th grade. That BSL hair probably would have gotten his attention lol

But shockingly enough, I always had SL hair. But it was super full and healthy back then. It just didn't get longer. And i always got compliments on it. Even from the boys. So as much as i wanna say...yea BSL hair could have done "this or that" for social reasons...i think i got pretty good attention working my healthy SL hair back then

oh well

 

[davisbr88]

What in the WORLD did you think a thread was FOR?erplexed

It's a place where people post THEIR OPINIONS.

If you are this touchy about this subject, maybe you shouldn't be responding and reading opinions. People are gonna say what they feel. And I don't see where anyone has said anything insensitive to anyone. Girl, you need to toughen up.

Actually, I'm fine so all of that is not necessary.
I don't need to do anything. You don't know anything about me so you don't know how tough or how weak I am. Moreover, being empathetic towards other people's feelings is not weak.
If you don't understand why telling someone who may have a lot vested in their hair is insensitive, then that's fine. Personally, I know people on this board who have had a lifelong dream to have long hair, have tried everything in the book, have paid $100s to get it, and are happy that they can finally do it who would not appreciate someone just brushing their struggle off.
As I already said, it's not the most important thing to me and though I've always wanted long hair, it never really affected my life and I didn't shell out lots of money to get it. Regardless of my personal feelings, I'm not going to tell someone else that it shouldn't be serious to them. I don't know what they're going through, and words can affect people.
That's all I have to say about the matter.
Peace.

 

[Kurlee]

Don't be a unicorn. If you haven't noticed there are long hair forums for black, white, and Latino. Some black men state they prefer long or good hair. Siblings and family members were treated different because of their hair status.

Yes. We all want world peace and people to look at our inside's and not the outside but that ain't happened yet and don't try to pretend this thread is going to change it.

I already see that people are going to be hesitant to share because the unicorns are always the first to post. Also, if you state that maybe you thought you could have gotten a certain man due to your hair length, you would be wrapped in Remi weave and burned in the LHCF you don't need a man town hall thread.

why u mad though?

 

[Kurlee]

Tricky question. I never had uber short hair. It was always between collarbone-APL. Because I had a decent size ponytail in high school, where all the hair could reach without needing clips and I could wear wash and go's, even though my hair wasn't that long, I was considered to have "good hair". Yes, I got more attention because of it from men and even now that I'm natural and my hair is MBL approaching WL, people continue to act weird over it. The "are u mixed" questions are more frequent and don't let it be straight and hanging or really curly. Men open doors, want to buy me lunch and do all kinds of extra crap that they normally wouldn't. Some of my students try to pet me like a dog. It tickles me how weird black folk get about hair. So yes, hair makes a difference. I think it's more so on the level of value placing and how nice/attracted people are to you. Social life. As far as economics, I don't think it factors.

 

[*CherryPie*]

Girl, go sit down somewhere.

You are taking this "hair" thing way too far.

Actually, I'm fine so all of that is not necessary.
I don't need to do anything. You don't know anything about me so you don't know how tough or how weak I am. Moreover, being empathetic towards other people's feelings is not weak.
If you don't understand why telling someone who may have a lot vested in their hair is insensitive, then that's fine. Personally, I know people on this board who have had a lifelong dream to have long hair, have tried everything in the book, have paid $100s to get it, and are happy that they can finally do it who would not appreciate someone just brushing their struggle off.
As I already said, it's not the most important thing to me and though I've always wanted long hair, it never really affected my life and I didn't shell out lots of money to get it. Regardless of my personal feelings, I'm not going to tell someone else that it shouldn't be serious to them. I don't know what they're going through, and words can affect people.
That's all I have to say about the matter.
Peace.

 

[My Friend]

You are so funny : Yeah, I'm mad. NOT.

Like the post below. It was started as a light hearted thread. Who knew people would bring out their PhD's, i'm not my hair bumper stickers and I don't want a man who likes me because I'm beautiful t-shirts.

*shouts* You are on a hair board We talk about beauty here we talk about that and it girlsWe talk about nailsWe talk about ways to give BJ's

If you have not had an experience where you believe your hair could have changed the situation, read the experiences of others, don't try to kill the thread or make others hesitant to share.

I bumped 3 threads out of hundreds similar to this thread so obviously people have been in this situation. Unicorns are still posting in this thread. Since they are not into long hair anyway, log off and read a book. Kisses

Don't be a unicorn. If you haven't noticed there are long hair forums for black, white, and Latino. Some black men state they prefer long or good hair. Siblings and family members were treated different because of their hair status.

Yes. We all want world peace and people to look at our inside's and not the outside but that ain't happened yet and don't try to pretend this thread is going to change it.

I already see that people are going to be hesitant to share because the unicorns are always the first to post. Also, if you state that maybe you thought you could have gotten a certain man due to your hair length, you would be wrapped in Remi weave and burned in the LHCF you don't need a man town hall thread.

uhhh I'm just assumming that the OP was talking about social incidents that could have been different if your hair was longer. I took this as a light hearted thread. I didn't think it was that deep.

But i'm a "keep it one hun'ed" type of person sooo...

I think i could have bagged my crush in 11th grade. That BSL hair probably would have gotten his attention lol

But shockingly enough, I always had SL hair. But it was super full and healthy back then. It just didn't get longer. And i always got compliments on it. Even from the boys. So as much as i wanna say...yea BSL hair could have done "this or that" for social reasons...i think i got pretty good attention working my healthy SL hair back then

oh well

why u mad though?

 

[QueenAmaka]

I personally don't think that having longer hair could have changed most things in my life. I do know that when my hair is swangin' I have a confidence that I am sure others notice. I don't think it's the hair that they notice but the confidence. Long hair can't positively impact anyone if they don't have the confidence to go along with it.

 

[BlkOnyx488]

---------------------------------------------------

 

[yorkpatties]

When I was a child I wanted long hair. I looked at the girls with long hair and tried to imagine what I would look like with it. I felt as though boys gave them more attention, and people were nicer to them. Maybe I didn't get that same attention because my insecurity showed, not because of my short hair. In junior high my hair was a hot mess. Children are the meanest in junior high and they will let you know when something about you doesn't look good, hell, they can't WAIT to tell you something about you doesn't look good. LOL Though it sucked at the time, it made me a stronger person for it. So sure, things may have been different. But I wouldn't go back and change it if I could. I joined this board to learn how to care for my hair without a stylist, so maybe some day I'll get the hair I dreamed of as a child. But I'm not bitter about never having it. In college I was APL for about 2 years and I liked the look but I didn't think of that as long. I don't think I missed any job opportunities or lost love because of hair.

 

[Miss_C]

I'm surprised at all these responses saying "I had long hair, it didn't matter". I grew up with long hair and one thing I always knew was, it mattered. Everyone in my family talked about it. Adults constantly mentioned my length to me. Girls picked on me, saying "You think you cute cuz you got that hair". One girl even cut some out once without me noticing.
The hair types in my family ranged from 3b to 4b, but no one was concerned with good hair/bad hair, just long hair. (I knew lots of people who did put emphasis on that, but not in my family.We were aware that some of us the family had different hair than each other)Hair type was no reason not to have long hair. We all knew that our hair was our glory.
That's why I cared so much when I took over my haircare and it went awful. That's why I cared when my hair went from WL to crusty, dry, broken off NL. I mean, that's why I joined a hair board!
Admitting that your hair gave you an advantage doesn't make you a bad person. Just want to make sure everyone knows that.

 

[MsLi@512]

For me long hair gives me an extra boost in my own personal, private self esteem. It just makes me feel...on equal footing. I am a 4b, coarse hair person who growing up was always told that I had bad hair. I always had chin length hair and loved weaves in order to have that long hair for a few weeks. So, to finally have full APL headed towards BSL hair is amazing! No, it does and will not change my soul or make me filthy rich and famous, but what it does is let's me see that my hair is just as beautiful and have the same potential as anyone else who may have straighter or curlier or a silkier texture than me and that just gives me an extra something special, personally.

 

[Ogoma]

Making a bunch of assumptions from something I said is also not well thought out. At no point did I say it was the most important thing in the world. I wouldn't think it would be. What I do know is what I said - it seems odd to me to invest the time and money, however small, into something you really don't care that much about.
Furthermore, I am not at liberty to tell someone else what is serious to them or isn't. I don't know what they're going through and find people shirking things off saying it's not as serious as YOU ALL are making it (not saying, "it's not that serious to me" like what you said in your post, but basically saying it also shouldn't be that serious to someone else) is rude and insensitive. My hair is not the most important thing to me but I do take it seriously. I personally don't think doing a lot of things that many people do are that serious to me but far be it from me to belittle someone else's struggle.
In any case, that's not the point of this thread.

No, I don't think having long hair would have affected work or going to school or anything like that but yes, I think it may have positively impacted my self-esteem back then. But there's really no way of knowing. People will find a way to make you feel crappy no matter what you have.

I agree with you. I would never tell anyone what should or should not be serious to them. I have discussed this only from my own perspective. YOU are the one that insisted it must be serious to us if we are on a forum because of the fee, which just didn't make any sense to me. I do a lot of things, some that cost money, for fun or to while away time, but that does not make it serious to me. The only reason I am on this forum is for tips to grow my natural hair long enough to get into a loose bun. Once I am done that, I would find something else to amuse myself. My hair is not anymore important to ME than my makeup - all equally at the bottom of the list.

 

[My Friend]

Miss_C gets the irl award. She goes where some women have not gone before....The land where long hair gets attention.

Is it a bird? A plane? ohhhhhhh it's a hair board.

I'm surprised at all these responses saying "I had long hair, it didn't matter". I grew up with long hair and one thing I always knew was, it mattered. Everyone in my family talked about it. Adults constantly mentioned my length to me. Girls picked on me, saying "You think you cute cuz you got that hair". One girl even cut some out once without me noticing.
The hair types in my family ranged from 3b to 4b, but no one was concerned with good hair/bad hair, just long hair. (I knew lots of people who did put emphasis on that, but not in my family.We were aware that some of us had different hair than the others)Hair type was no reason not to have long hair. We all knew that our hair was our glory.
That's why I cared so much when I took over my haircare and it went awful. That's why I cared when my hair went from WL to crusty, dry, broken off NL. I mean, that's why I joined a hair board!
Admitting that your hair gave you an advantage doesn't make you a bad person. Just want to make sure everyone knows that.

 

[My Friend]

uhhh I'm just assumming that the OP was talking about social incidents that could have been different if your hair was longer. I took this as a light hearted thread. I didn't think it was that deep.

But i'm a "keep it one hun'ed" type of person sooo...

I think i could have bagged my crush in 11th grade. That BSL hair probably would have gotten his attention lol

But shockingly enough, I always had SL hair. But it was super full and healthy back then. It just didn't get longer. And i always got compliments on it. Even from the boys. So as much as i wanna say...yea BSL hair could have done "this or that" for social reasons...i think i got pretty good attention working my healthy SL hair back then

oh well

The truth will set you free!

 

[davisbr88]

Girl, go sit down somewhere.

You are taking this "hair" thing way too far.

I am seated. At my computer.
We can agree to disagree. All that laughing and trying to make me feel like what I've said is stupid is whatever. If you don't want to see the other side of a situation, then it's not my duty to make you. Just because you yourself hasn't dealt with something doesn't mean it doesn't or shouldn't matter to anyone else.
Bye.

I agree with you. I would never tell anyone what should or should not be serious to them. I have discussed this only from my own perspective. YOU are the one that insisted it must be serious to us if we are on a forum because of the fee, which just didn't make any sense to me. I do a lot of things, some that cost money, for fun or to while away time, but that does not make it serious to me. The only reason I am on this forum is for tips to grow my natural hair long enough to get into a loose bun. Once I am done that, I would find something else to amuse myself. My hair is not anymore important to ME than my makeup - all equally at the bottom of the list.

I see what you're saying and I agree with you. I didn't think of it that way.
I think I just assumed, which I apologize for, that there would be more people here that actually did care than people that didn't just because of the sheer fact that we paid and spend time here. Obviously, we have other amusements and other things we pay for that we don't really don't put of effort into, but I was just thinking of all of the stories (especially after reading the thread about people having long hair for the first time, etc) and realizing how real it is to soooo many people here, and I don't think they should be made to feel as though that feeling isn't important. If anything, it seems like it would be the opposite here. But I definitely get what you're saying.

 

[MrsHdrLe]

Sure having longer hair MAY have gotten me something I MAY or MAY NOT know I'm missing, but the truth is I WILL never know b/c that is or is not how it went down. Interesting perspectives though.

 

[hair4romheaven]

Hair always been long but people were more amazed at its thickness. Called it oprah hair. When I started wearing it short SL bob it was then helmet hair. When I transitioned & cut if really short people thought I was going through something & didn't understand my transition. Back in the day I was known as insert name with the long hair. Although no one else had my name the statement always followed my name. People defined me by my hair when it was long. I notice when I wear my hair out (not in p.s.) People flock to me more than when I wear wigs. People love my natural hair & so do I.

Sent from my PC36100 using PC36100

 

[Beautytalk69]

If someone is going to treat me different just bc of my hair, then I don't need them. That is the most shallow thing ever. I'm growing my hair for me. If i wake up tomorrow and decide I want a fade, do u really think that I will give a rats rass who is going to like me? I never want to be with.anyone who is judging based on something physical. If my ability to attract ppl is based mainly on my hair, then i really have a problem.

 

[RocStar]

I don't think anyone on their deathbed reflecting on their life thinks...if only my hair were longer. Nobody puts on their tombstone, "beloved wife, mother and friend with bsl hair."

No doubt that appearance and looks are serious to many people, however in the scheme of things in my life it is waaay down on the list. I do not think my life would have been different thus far if I had long hair, but who knows.

 

[davisbr88]

I don't think anyone on their deathbed reflecting on their life thinks...if only my hair were longer. Nobody puts on their tombstone, "beloved wife, mother and friend with bsl hair."

No doubt that appearance and looks are serious to many people, however in the scheme of things in my life it is waaay down on the list. I do not think my life would have been different thus far if I had long hair, but who knows.

I would hope no one would think it was THAT monumental to have that etched into stone (but weirder things have happened... )
In any case, I think my way of thinking is in agreement with Chaosbutterfly. If getting to BSL puts that extra pep in your step and makes you more confident, maybe that confidence will attract the loving hubby, not just solely the hair. With me, it's weight. I'm so much more confident when I lose weight. But with some people, it's hair. To each her own.

 

[sylver2]

uhhh I'm just assumming that the OP was talking about social incidents that could have been different if your hair was longer. I took this as a light hearted thread. I didn't think it was that deep.

But i'm a "keep it one hun'ed" type of person sooo...

I think i could have bagged my crush in 11th grade. That BSL hair probably would have gotten his attention lol

But shockingly enough, I always had SL hair. But it was super full and healthy back then. It just didn't get longer. And i always got compliments on it. Even from the boys. So as much as i wanna say...yea BSL hair could have done "this or that" for social reasons...i think i got pretty good attention working my healthy SL hair back then

oh well

girl, me too..it got real weird.
not sure if it got me jobs or helped me out of poverty lots of offers though
still love the attention i get from having long hair. i love how i look with long hair. i love long hair. thats why i joined this forum to get tips on growing my hair longer. i love shoving it in others faces that don't think black women can have long hair. i love seeing all the long hair here. i wish my hair wouldve been this long in my teens/20's. i wouldve had the the WORLD....J/K..lighten up