If You Would Have Had Long Hair Then.....

[My Friend]

girl, me too..it got real weird.
not sure if it got me jobs or helped me out of poverty lots of offers though
still love the attention i get from having long hair. i love how i look with long hair. i love long hair. thats why i joined this forum to get tips on growing my hair longer. i love shoving it in others faces that don't think black women can have long hair. i love seeing all the long hair here. i wish my hair wouldve been this long in my teens/20's. i wouldve had the the WORLD....J/K..lighten up

Girl,

You ain't lying. Yeah, yeah, all black women need is a PhD and a vibrator, cause they skrong like that

I too wish my hair was long in my 20's I would have been off the chain. I would still be in physical therapy due to neck problems from whipping my hair like I was a damn fool.

That dude who called me a chicken head, yeah he would have been begging to be my man

If my self esteem was higher maybe I would have went to different places and events that could have exposed me to other opportunity's but I digress. Beauty and society is a figment of my imagination.

Ummmmm....no j/k

 

[My Friend]

I don't think anyone on their deathbed reflecting on their life thinks...if only my hair were longer. Nobody puts on their tombstone, "beloved wife, mother and friend with bsl hair."

No doubt that appearance and looks are serious to many people, however in the scheme of things in my life it is waaay down on the list. I do not think my life would have been different thus far if I had long hair, but who knows.

sistatv

Long hair eulogy parody plez

 

[Miss_C]

@Miss_C gets the irl award. She goes where some women have not gone before....The land where long hair gets attention.

Is it a bird? A plane? ohhhhhhh it's a hair board.

Hey, I'm just saying...if long hair didn't attract attention, there would be no market for 18-24 inch weaves.

 

[aquajoyice]

My hair was considered long by some back in the day being shoulder length. Having long hair meant the world to me growing up. And I realized a big difference once it grew to past BSL. I realize now that the power doesn't lie in hair itself but breaking those prejudices people have against BW having long hair.

 

[doll-baby]

Maybe things would have been a little different. I probably wouldn't have gotten teased for having a jerry curl back in early elementary. But then again, If I wouldn't have been teased then I would not have developed my attitude of not giving a flying flip about what others think of me.

 

[pink219]

I had the body and the brains, but not the hair. Hell, I could've taken over the world! God knew not to give me so much power all at once LOL

i know...right LOL

 

[naturalTAN]

Hey, I'm just saying...if long hair didn't attract attention, there would be no market for 18-24 inch weaves.

 

[Aireen]

My hair's always been SL when younger and only shorter by choice, I always considered that short anyway and people of other races would kind of make subtle hints as to my hair being slow growing or not being able to grow due to my race. Now that my hair's MBL, people just say, "Oh your hair's so long now!" I don't even get that comment enough to really feel flattered though because in my area of Toronto, everyone's hair is long and it's not even a compliment really, I consider it as a neutral statement from those outside of LHCF. In both circumstances the commentary really doesn't warrant me to think my life is drastically better or drastically worse.

 

[Amethyst85]

...No, I don't think having long hair would have affected work or going to school or anything like that but yes, I think it may have positively impacted my self-esteem back then. But there's really no way of knowing. People will find a way to make you feel crappy no matter what you have.

ITA with everything you've posted as ive had a very similar experience and when growing up had always dreamed of having longer hair. When i was younger it may have boosted my confidence and affected other areas of my life as a result.

To be honest my life didnt change when i had WL+ natural hair, but as soon as it was straightened it was a totally different story.

 

[tapioca_pudding]

I thought this thread was re: certain events in life, not "Would I be married to Barack Obama if my hair was BSL in middle school". Ya'll arms gotta be tired, all this damn reaching.

I can think about of 3 events that I know fa SHO would have gone differently if I had long hair:

1- My HS crush specifically told me if I had long hair, he would be all over me. Of course in hindsight, that ninja could kiss the highest plane of my ***. But at the time I cried real tears, bro.

2- The girls who would have extended conversations re: what my ex saw in me would have had one less point to argue (meaning, 'She not that cute, she kinda overweight, she got short hair...').

3- It's hard to tell my nieces that "black hair will grow" when all they see is short hair all around them. I show them pics, but it's not the same as seeing it in real life. So I feel like they would be more confident abt their hair, if mine was 'proof in the pudding', if that makes sense. But at the same time, I've BC'd twice, so..

 

[brg240]

^^ interesting and that's kind of sad

i mentioned it in the 'long hair ladies can i live vicariously through you' thread but i've apparently been using my hair wrong and i need to take notes. It's just it never crossed my mind the influence hair could have on situations or people. I mean it makes sense b/c if being cute can influence things another trait people value will as well.

It's just it's kind of hard to think about those things. :/ I mean how would i know?

 

[candy626]

This is a fun thread with some interesting responses.

But at the the end of the day, it's hard to look back and wonder how things could or would have been different for this kind of stuff.

I've had always had a larger chest but no booty. It could be easy for me to be like "If I had a big bubble butt then..."

But at the end of the day it doesn't matter. May I have attracted even more men into my life then what I already have. Sure..But at the end of the day would that effect my quality of life on a grand scale? (what type of job I have, car I drive, etc.) Absolutely not.

At least I don't think so . But with that said, I wouldn't mind having one though

 

[yorkpatties]

I've had always had a larger chest but no booty. It could be easy for me to be like "If I had a big bubble butt then..."

But at the end of the day it doesn't matter. May I have attracted even more men into my life then what I already have. Sure..But at the end of the day would that effect my quality of life on a grand scale? (what type of job I have, car I drive, etc.) Absolutely not.

Same here. I am sure my small booty attracted different types of men into my life than ones who would have stepped to me if I looked like I belonged in a BET video. But I am happy with the man I have. DAMN happy!
What if I had hair like Ashanti, and that attracted men into my life that would have me create the "Men are Dogs" forum? Shoot, someone here already mentioned the butterfly effect, I can't assume that this one little change would change my life for the better.

 

[Saga]

I think my Jr. High school experience would've been a lot different. People around me were extremely superficial back then, so I probably would've had a lot more "friends" due to my pretty hair.

But after reading through this thread, I realize that I'm actually glad that I was able to experience this journey. It's one thing to have long hair all your life, but when you have to work hard for it it becomes something more meaningful to you. Just like the difference between someone who is born into money vs someone who has to earn it and break their backs to get what they have. You are also better able to identify with the struggle of other people who are trying to get where you are or who share a common goal with you.

I probably would've had more self-confidence when I was younger due to having long hair, but I also think it would've become a crutch. I would be noticed for, identified with, and favored due to my HAIR. Not because of who I was, or my intelligence level, or how I treat people. Just because of my hair. (well, I also think I'm attractive. But when I was in my preteens? I had the self-esteem of Eeyore.) So I'm glad I didn't, because maybe I would have been stuck up or maybe I wouldn't be who I am today. I believe that every part of your life experience plays a role in who you are becoming. Not to say that having long hair would've helped me and my family through financial struggles or helped me cope with other emotional issues I had to deal with, but it was still a significant factor in the equation of my childhood. Especially as a black female.

 

[Phoenixsky13]

Lol Hecks yeah it would have been different. Just being honest where i grew up in a small town it would have elevated my social status. In fact I was always made fun of about my hair growing up. It was pretty terrible. When I managed to grow it to a healthy shoulder length my junior year I got so much new attention for my looks.

But I think hair is like most things that adds attractiveness to someone. Gaining or losing weight, money, better fashion sense, clearing up acne, etc

 

[*CherryPie*]

@ All of this.

You are acting too serious on a hair forum.

I am seated. At my computer.
We can agree to disagree. All that laughing and trying to make me feel like what I've said is stupid is whatever. If you don't want to see the other side of a situation, then it's not my duty to make you. Just because you yourself hasn't dealt with something doesn't mean it doesn't or shouldn't matter to anyone else.
Bye.



I see what you're saying and I agree with you. I didn't think of it that way.
I think I just assumed, which I apologize for, that there would be more people here that actually did care than people that didn't just because of the sheer fact that we paid and spend time here. Obviously, we have other amusements and other things we pay for that we don't really don't put of effort into, but I was just thinking of all of the stories (especially after reading the thread about people having long hair for the first time, etc) and realizing how real it is to soooo many people here, and I don't think they should be made to feel as though that feeling isn't important. If anything, it seems like it would be the opposite here. But I definitely get what you're saying.

 

[Napp]

I am seated. At my computer.

 

[BlkOnyx488]

I know this post has died down but I had to add this. Growing your hair long can be life changing. Look at Cathy House, or the Author of "Curly like Me" Terry something,

Or KimmeTube, or the creator of kinky kurly.

Lots of sister are parlaying their hair growth jouney into $$$$$ and that is life changing.

Also Look at how much we are willing to spend on hair products and equipment, A Pibbs is $300.00!! Ovation Cell Therap is $50 for and 8oz bottle, I personally never thought in a million years I would own a flat iron that cost $100 and I own two.
Or a hair dryer that cost more than $50 and the darn thing is so big I have no where to put it in my house, but it's my baby so I keep it in the living room unless we are having important company like my MIL LOL.

Hair growing journey may not be "life changing" for all us, but for some of us it. And as much as I would have loved long hair as a little girl, I feel like my story now is far more inspirational now, who knows I might become the next YT hair guru complete with my own group of haters LOL!

 

[JJamiah]

^^^^ very true.

I believe in the Domino effect. One small thing to build upon the many.
The boost of confidence whether it comes in the form of long hair, teeth whitening, Teeth straightning, weight loss, new shoes, new outfit, new boy friend, new job, new degree, or new what ever can change your life just one small step at a time.

Your new boost of confidence can lead to not only job opportunities but lead you to take the risk you probably wouldn't have taken before.

 

[testimony777]

...Growing your hair long can be life changing. Look at Cathy House, or the Author of "Curly like Me" Terry something,

Or KimmeTube, or the creator of kinky kurly.

Lots of sister are parlaying their hair growth jouney into $$$$$ and that is life changing....

I don't have a thank you button on my phone but thank you for that statement. You are absoluyly right and I had not thought about that. Long hair can put money in your bank account. It can make you a"celebrity."



Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[cami88]

The only person who really valued and favored long hair in my family was my grandmother. She'd always fawn over other girls at our church who had long hair, praising it, saying we (the girls in our family) should grow hair like theirs.

I never cared what she thought because she was a *****. BUT I did wish I had long hair when I was in middle school and hadn't yet discovered weaves and wigs (lol). My school was mostly white and I always wished I could do the styles they could. Having long hair then would have done wonders for my self confidence and esteem.

My hair (before going natural) was always neck length at best. I never even made it to shoulder length. I cut it off to ear length several times and it still never made it past neck length. I went natural at my mother's behest (she was in dreads herself by then). It wasn't to start a healthy hair journey or anything. It was because my hair was so damaged that it was just better to start anew. Finally, after all these years, my hair is now considered 'long'.

When I get my hair braided they tell me my hair is too 'long' and that I'll have to pay extra. Now, I hate paying extra but I'd never in my life heard my hair described as 'long' by anyone. I was over the moon. The person who does my sew ins told me she was jealous of my length. When I get my hair blown out, my sister tells me she is envious of how long my hair has gotten (which is a high compliment coming from her, since she is also a *****) my friends praise the length. I just cannot believe they are talking about me!

I know its just hair but for someone who has struggled with neck length, damaged hair for most of their life...it's astounding to hear someone describe your hair as long.

Sorry for the tangent!

 

[BlkOnyx488]

You are not alone, I am a neck length lifer so this is new to me. I sent my avatar pic to my brother, he said OMG your hair is beautiful I am so proud of you Oww that made me want to cry, cuz when we were kids he use to be the main one picking on me about my snap dragon hair

Now my mother let's just say she is in the same catergory as your G-ma and leave it at that

The only person who really valued and favored long hair in my family was my grandmother. She'd always fawn over other girls at our church who had long hair, praising it, saying we (the girls in our family) should grow hair like theirs.

I never cared what she thought because she was a *****. BUT I did wish I had long hair when I was in middle school and hadn't yet discovered weaves and wigs (lol). My school was mostly white and I always wished I could do the styles they could. Having long hair then would have done wonders for my self confidence and esteem.

My hair (before going natural) was always neck length at best. I never even made it to shoulder length. I cut it off to ear length several times and it still never made it past neck length. I went natural at my mother's behest (she was in dreads herself by then). It wasn't to start a healthy hair journey or anything. It was because my hair was so damaged that it was just better to start anew. Finally, after all these years, my hair is now considered 'long'.

When I get my hair braided they tell me my hair is too 'long' and that I'll have to pay extra. Now, I hate paying extra but I'd never in my life heard my hair described as 'long' by anyone. I was over the moon. The person who does my sew ins told me she was jealous of my length. When I get my hair blown out, my sister tells me she is envious of how long my hair has gotten (which is a high compliment coming from her, since she is also a *****) my friends praise the length. I just cannot believe they are talking about me!

I know its just hair but for someone who has struggled with neck length, damaged hair for most of their life...it's astounding to hear someone describe your hair as long.

Sorry for the tangent!

 

[naheda72]

For me, I am not sure if having long hair would have made that big of a difference in my life. I was always confident about my appearance(face and body), my hair(even though it was short), the clothing I wore, and my intellegence. I consider that to be a big feat for someone who is dark skin with short hair. My father always told me I was beautiful when I was young. I believed him, even if no one else did, because I knew my father wouldn't lie to me. I personally think that the long hair as a confidence booster probably works more on someone who has less confidence in themselves. Sure now, people are making money off of it, but this is a new thing that comes with technology. During my years of growing up, these possibilities didn't exist, so for this reason, I definitely don't think it would have made a difference. I think plain confidence in who you are would have a bigger influence on how your life would turn out than hair.

 

[abcd09]

Maybe things would be different but mainly in my perception of myself. Maybe I wouldn't have spent so much frickin time thinking about it lol. I thought longer hair looked better with the styles back then. Also if I had a different hair width (fine versus thick strands) it would just be easier to look neater for me since I could control the splits and damage easier. I cannot lie as a young child I wanted a different texture. Now I would just like a different hair width and density. Sometimes I feel like my hair looks okay, but stops me from looking how I want. oh well.

 

[GIJane]

When I was a teenager and a young adult my hair was APL or longer. Everyone stated how pretty my hair was. When I was in college teachers seemed to favor me. If I didn't turn my assignment in I could get an extension. Then I cut my hair to a bob, the early nineties. I was no longer the favorite. I died blonde streaks in my hair, then I was noticed more. Teachers were willing to help me more. When I dyed my hair completely blonde then people noticed my face more. I was the blonde with the pretty eyes. I then sewed a 12 inch weave in my hair and before you knew it. I was dating NFL, NBA, NHL and MBL ballers. Attorneys and doctors were constantly asking for my number. Letting me borrow their cars and etc. Going on shopping trips.

So my opinion is that long hair makes a difference. Yes it does. Men love pulling your hair.

 

[My Friend]

GIJane abcd09 BlkOnyx488 cami88 testimony777
JJamiah BlkOnyx488 Phoenixsky13 DanceOnTheSkylines
Amethyst85

I knew I wasnt crazy Thank you for having the courage to admit on a HAIR BOARD that having long hair then, may have change a certain situation.

 

[My Friend]

I thought this thread was re: certain events in life, not "Would I be married to Barack Obama if my hair was BSL in middle school". Ya'll arms gotta be tired, all this damn reaching.

I can think about of 3 events that I know fa SHO would have gone differently if I had long hair:

1- My HS crush specifically told me if I had long hair, he would be all over me. Of course in hindsight, that ninja could kiss the highest plane of my ***. But at the time I cried real tears, bro.

2- The girls who would have extended conversations re: what my ex saw in me would have had one less point to argue (meaning, 'She not that cute, she kinda overweight, she got short hair...').

3- It's hard to tell my nieces that "black hair will grow" when all they see is short hair all around them. I show them pics, but it's not the same as seeing it in real life. So I feel like they would be more confident abt their hair, if mine was 'proof in the pudding', if that makes sense. But at the same time, I've BC'd twice, so..

If you aint a T3 already, I give you the honorary award. Damn, I thought my question was clear and instead of folks asking for clarification, I get skrong bw dont have to I dont need a man I'm edumacated If he want me for my hair STFUWT and log off of LHCF and log on to MENSA If you that damn bothered by people sharing THEIR life experiences.

 

[My Friend]

I've mostly had long hair all my life, but I got more attention from men , people in general, the one time I cut my hair short. It was like people noticed my face more or something. Sometimes I want to cut if off again, but the upkeep!!! Oh, well.

This was me except is was my mom. What made things worse is that my cousins (her sister's daughters) all had long thick hair and they lived right around the corner so I was around them daily. Even the teachers at the elementary school we all attended favored them because of their hair and lighter skin. I was always an honor student--I tested on the 12th grade level in the 6th grade--but all my mom focused on was that my hair never looked like my cousins' hair. She still hates my hair to this day--I'm just old enough to ignore it and do what I want now.

I find it interesting that those who have always had long hair say "It's not that serious," or "I never thought about hair," or "It never mattered to me."

Of course it's "not that serious" to YOU because you've always had what so many little black girls wish for. erplexed Whether you choose to believe it or not, people show favor to girls with long hair. As someone who was perpetually NL growing up, I experienced this first-hand.

I always had long hair too and people always noticed. It was the thing that everyone knew me by. My family put a lot of value on hair so they were very proud of it. Guys always noticed my hair first. It did make me feel weird, like ppl thought I was just a head of hair and that's it. Cutting it all off felt great! I was so happy. But ppl still defined me by my hair And then it all grew back and I was the girl with long hair again, and then the one with dreads, and so on. So I just can't get away from it. At least I satisfied my short hair curiosity and now I know that ppl did still love me with no hair

Sent from my HTC Evo

Thank you all for not being afraid to share YOUR stories.

Beauty is a billion dollar a year industry and hair is a huge part of that. Anyone who thinks their not judged on their beauty from society, must live under

 

[RocStar]

When I was a teenager and a young adult my hair was APL or longer. Everyone stated how pretty my hair was. When I was in college teachers seemed to favor me. If I didn't turn my assignment in I could get an extension. Then I cut my hair to a bob, the early nineties. I was no longer the favorite. I died blonde streaks in my hair, then I was noticed more. Teachers were willing to help me more. When I dyed my hair completely blonde then people noticed my face more. I was the blonde with the pretty eyes. I then sewed a 12 inch weave in my hair and before you knew it. I was dating NFL, NBA, NHL and MBL ballers. Attorneys and doctors were constantly asking for my number. Letting me borrow their cars and etc. Going on shopping trips.

So my opinion is that long hair makes a difference. Yes it does. Men love pulling your hair.

I can't with ya'll anymore.

 

[My Friend]

It can definitely cut both ways. I always had what was considered long hair growing up (APL, mom was BSL). I was the only one with hair longer than NL at my church, and I was picked on mercilessly for thinking I was better than everyone else because of it. I hated being the odd one out, so I cut my hair to EL for about a decade. I got kicked out of the choir and usher board as a result . I was let back in when I let it grow out the first time (at my grandmother's request), but after senior pics were taken I promptly cut it back off and was kicked off again. Had my hair always been EL or NL, none of that would've happened and I think life would've actually been easier for me .

Ronnieaji

Was this a Penecostal church?

please, when my hair fell out and i had to cut it all off, i was practically invisible compared to the attention i get now with it really long.

sylver2

TRUTH! I wuv your hair too.

I got more attention when my hair was real-life long, between Sl and APL. I think I would either get more attention or have more confidence myelf since these days every black girl I see has a weave and nothing else. I'm very conscience of every single aspect of my image, so hair is just a part of it. I keep my weight on point, my skin clear, and try to keep on top of my style game, so hair is just another part of my overall image.

@yuhloveybz

:bouncegre:bouncegre


HollyGolightly

If it was "just hair" people wouldn't be putting coochie cream on their scalps and paying 6.50 to grow hair to their butt cheeks

Raspberry

My hair is currently APL.. long by black girl standards and there's definitely a noticeable difference in attention. I also get more attention than I did with MBL locs, interestingly enough.

But extra looks and flirting aint nothin if my bank account isn't increasing.

LongLeggedLife

Probably so. Well probably not jobs or career-wise, but I never realized how crazy men go over long hair until fairly recently.

BostonMaria
Get. My. Belt.

Some of the responses having me LMFAO!!! I was very insecure about my hair before I started to take really good care of it. It used to look as dry as a cactus before and that ain't funny! LOL

I don't care what anyone says, its THAT serious. So serious I pay $6.50 a year! That's alot of money in a third world country. Heck its one tall caramel macchiato and God knows I need my caffeine.

LovelyNaps26

i had long, thick, relaxed hair (BSL) growing up and I'd be lying if I said it went unnoticed.

i actually thought about this when i was considering going natural in college. i knew that i wanted to meet someone in my 20s and, as silly as it may seem now, i felt that just in case short natural hair was an issue with men, it was best for me to cut it short in my early 20s so I would have length by my mid 20s. LOL. Mind you I went natural shortly before the natural hair revolution so it wasn't that common.

funny thing is i've gotten at lot of positive comments from people with my long natural hair, WAY MORE than when i had long relaxed hair. outside of this forum i'm kind of a unicorn to people. as for men, black men seem to love it. so, though i hate to admit it i think long hair makes a difference in how others see me.