If You Would Have Had Long Hair Then.....

[Ronnieaj]

Was it because they thought the hair is a woman's glory so you shouldn't cut it?

Ding ding ding ding ding!!! You got it. Had a HUGE fight when, the second time, I told them "the Bible says a woman's hair is A glory unto her, not THE glory. As long as it's healthy and taken care of, it's still a glory." Pastor let me back in the next week.

 

[LongLeggedLife]

Probably so. Well probably not jobs or career-wise, but I never realized how crazy men go over long hair until fairly recently.

 

[Chaosbutterfly]

A little bit, but indirectly.
Alot of kids in school made fun of me because of my hair, and my self-esteem took a serious hit because of that. Since it was something that went on for so long and at such a formative age, it took me tooooo long to shake it off. And I know for a fact that some situations (particularly romantic ones) in my life would have gone better if I had more confidence and felt better about myself.

I would hope that everyone understands that hair is not gonna fix your GPA, find you a man, make you a six figure salary, or save your soul from hell. It's not a genie. But I firmly believe that when you feel good, you exude positivity, which attracts good things to you and gives you the motivation to make the necessary improvements to your life.
For alot of black women, having hair they can be proud of is a big part of feeling good, so...yep.

 

[RegaLady]

Nope, because my hair is longer in comparison to what it use to be and some people around me and it is not adding anything to my life, except more styling options.

I rocked a pixie HB cut for years and believe me when I say almost everywhere I went, I stood out. I would get compliments from men and women. I totally believe alot had to do with confidence and how much the style flattered me. There are many times I really miss the attention. I have never equated long hair to having a great life. I know many long haired women and I don't see extra treatment coming to them.

 

[My Friend]

I have always had long hair (APL-MBL). And no, things don't change just because you have long hair. Some of y'all are giving way too much power to long hair.

Hair don't do all of that.

Funny you say that but good hair has played a huge part in the black community for years. If you haven't noticed their are forums for long hair both black,white,Latino,etc.

Many post on here refer to situations where hair became apart of the conversation. Black men make statements about they like/want a woman with long hair or good hair.

 

[candy626]

Nope, because my hair is longer in comparison to what it use to be and some people around me and it is not adding anything to my life, except more styling options.

I rocked a pixie HB cut for years and believe me when I say almost everywhere I went, I stood out. I would get compliments from men and women.

I agree. I've cut my hair to shoulder length before and never really noticed a difference. For some women, having long hair contributes to them looking more attractive. For other women, the opposite is true. My mother for instance, looks great with pixie cuts (of course with longer hair too) but her bone structure really stands out beautifully with short hair cuts. Not everbody can pull that off and still look cute. In fact, I'm not sure if I could. I need hair that frames my face.

I think overall attractiveness can have more an effect then hair itself. I've seen many women with long hair that were not attractive..of all races.

 

[My Friend]

Don't be a unicorn. If you haven't noticed there are long hair forums for black, white, and Latino. Some black men state they prefer long or good hair. Siblings and family members were treated different because of their hair status.

Yes. We all want world peace and people to look at our inside's and not the outside but that ain't happened yet and don't try to pretend this thread is going to change it.

I already see that people are going to be hesitant to share because the unicorns are always the first to post. Also, if you state that maybe you thought you could have gotten a certain man due to your hair length, you would be wrapped in Remi weave and burned in the LHCF you don't need a man town hall thread.

.......................................

 

[PinkPeony]

I don't know about long hair but if I would have known how to properly take care of my hair and work with it growing up I would have definitely had way less stress and a better self image
eta: and a self image that would have been positive and accepting of my hair in my formative years would have definitely made a world difference

 

[BostonMaria]

Some of the responses having me LMFAO!!! I was very insecure about my hair before I started to take really good care of it. It used to look as dry as a cactus before and that ain't funny! LOL

I don't care what anyone says, its THAT serious. So serious I pay $6.50 a year! That's alot of money in a third world country. Heck its one tall caramel macchiato and God knows I need my caffeine.

 

[LovelyNaps26]

i had long, thick, relaxed hair (BSL) growing up and I'd be lying if I said it went unnoticed.

i actually thought about this when i was considering going natural in college. i knew that i wanted to meet someone in my 20s and, as silly as it may seem now, i felt that just in case short natural hair was an issue with men, it was best for me to cut it short in my early 20s so I would have length by my mid 20s. LOL. Mind you I went natural shortly before the natural hair revolution so it wasn't that common.

funny thing is i've gotten at lot of positive comments from people with my long natural hair, WAY MORE than when i had long relaxed hair. outside of this forum i'm kind of a unicorn to people. as for men, black men seem to love it. so, though i hate to admit it i think long hair makes a difference in how others see me.

 

[My Friend]

All the cheerleaders at my high school had aplish length hair. I refuse to believe all the twa's, el's and nl's that tried out didn't have what it takes to be a cheerleader.

Ummm...at the NBA game the other night I noticed all the women on the dance team and cheerleader teams's had long hair. Yes. Some at extensions but I doubt anyone had a pixie irl.

 

[*CherryPie*]

I understand what you're saying. Long hair DOES get noticed. Heck, i've had folks ask me to be a hair model. Even when I went to the doctor the indian women (from india) would always compliment my hair, saying how beautiful it was.

You'll get compliments, but it don't change your life. You gotta have other qualities....

Funny you say that but good hair has played a huge part in the black community for years. If you haven't noticed their are forums for long hair both black,white,Latino,etc.

Many post on here refer to situations where hair became apart of the conversation. Black men make statements about they like/want a woman with long hair or good hair.

 

[My Friend]

Do you think a certain situation would have been different? Since "good hair" has a place in the black community and long hair in mainstream America, do you have a gut feeling that certain things could have been different?

Boyfriends, husbands, girlfriends, jobs, you, etc.

I understand what you're saying. Long hair DOES get noticed. Heck, i've had folks ask me to be a hair model. Even when I went to the doctor the indian women (from india) would always compliment my hair, saying how beautiful it was.

You'll get compliments, but it don't change your life. You gotta have other qualities....

Ummm...i can't seem to find where I said it could change your life I specifically see SO,DH,BFF, YOU and JOB in my original post. Yes. It could have changed certain situations in your life and that's supported by people posted how they were treated different by family, the church and men.

I never said it would change tour GPA- unless you slept with your professor because he thought you were cute and he loved your long hair Surely, you've heard about students sleeping with professors?

You mention other qualities, KIm K has what? LOOKS 65 million dollars worth of looks.

In the other thread I bumped, soooo many people posted how they get treated different and stared at because of their hair. At the salon sat. I was stared at the whole time I was in the chair. People were asking me questions about my hair and of course, I got the "Are you mixed?" question.

An ex-boyfriend begged me to grow my hair long. I had no idea how to do that or that BW even could. He started eating WW with long hair after we broke up ( maybe during).

You know, I don't make the what society deems as beautiful rules or why men like long hair rules but I damn sure now they exist.

 

[springy_curly]

I have always had average hair around SL. I was never looked down upon for "not having hair" but no one ever oohed and ahhed over my hair either. As a result I don't think my hair played a big role in how people interacted with me. If I had grown up with long hair then I would have been treated differently by people thought long hair was important.

However, because of my personality I don't think I would be able to maintain a real relationship with someone that shallow that despite all of my other qualities (intelligence, personality, other physical features, etc), a few extra inches of hair was the determining factor in how they viewed me. So I don't think my life would have been altered that much.

 

[My Friend]

A lot of typos up there I'm on a iPad in a dark room. Don't ask.

I also think self esteem plays a huge part in a persons life as well. A lot of BW self esteem is shot due to alopecia, bald spots and breakage.

You have women who prefer not to go the gym because they don't want to sweat put their hair.

 

[SmilingElephant]

You make being a unicorn sound like a bad thing




Idk...i always had long hair growing up...but like a lot of posters said...that's what i was defined by. I was never one of the "pretty girls"...however...if there was a club called Pretty Girls...my hair is what would've gotten me in. Even with the long hair i was always labeled "weird" or "geeky"...so i never really fit in...just the cool weird geeky chick w/the long hair.

Now that my hair is short...i don't know...i feel more grown up. I get more respect it seems bc im not the girl with the princess hair. It's hard for me to explain it...but i do miss my long hair...it was easier to deal with.

 

[My Friend]

I don't like it when people think "never" applies to the whole world when it's really just their world or their interpretation. In any event, if the question doesn't apply to you...KIM

I love that you use the word "princess" hair, because that's exactly what it was and may have played a part in how you were treated.

You make being a unicorn sound like a bad thing




Idk...i always had long hair growing up...but like a lot of posters said...that's what i was defined by. I was never one of the "pretty girls"...however...if there was a club called Pretty Girls...my hair is what would've gotten me in. Even with the long hair i was always labeled "weird" or "geeky"...so i never really fit in...just the cool weird geeky chick w/the long hair.

Now that my hair is short...i don't know...i feel more grown up. I get more respect it seems bc im not the girl with the princess hair. It's hard for me to explain it...but i do miss my long hair...it was easier to deal with.

 

[Ogoma]

Smarts and education were always more important to my family and the community I grew up in. I have thought more about my since going natural than my whole life combined. I do have a complex that I am not a doctor; I have a masters and working on my PhD, but still feel like the dumb child.

I guess we all have our crosses to bear.

 

[Ogoma]

Ummm...i can't seem to find where I said it could change your life I specifically see SO,DH,BFF, YOU and JOB in my original post. Yes. It could have changed certain situations in your life and that's supported by people posted how they were treated different by family, the church and men.

I never said it would change tour GPA- unless you slept with your professor because he thought you were cute and he loved your long hair Surely, you've heard about students sleeping with professors?

You mention other qualities, KIm K has what? LOOKS 65 million dollars worth of looks.

In the other thread I bumped, soooo many people posted how they get treated different and stared at because of their hair. At the salon sat. I was stared at the whole time I was in the chair. People were asking me questions about my hair and of course, I got the "Are you mixed?" question.

An ex-boyfriend begged me to grow my hair long. I had no idea how to do that or that BW even could. He started eating WW with long hair after we broke up ( maybe during).

You know, I don't make the what society deems as beautiful rules or why
men like long hair rules but I damn sure now they exist.

I know it is a typo, but that made me laugh.

 

[JJamiah]

some people place value on different things, I can't believe conversation I had with a Friend of mine recently but he was dead straight on having a girl with long hair that was hers or he wouldn't date her. I was like wow, cave man!

 

[*CherryPie*]

If all of the bolded was changed, that's a HUGE part of YOUR LIFE.erplexed

Ummm...i can't seem to find where I said it could change your life I specifically see SO,DH,BFF, YOU and JOB in my original post. Yes. It could have changed certain situations in your life and that's supported by people posted how they were treated different by family, the church and men.

I never said it would change tour GPA- unless you slept with your professor because he thought you were cute and he loved your long hair Surely, you've heard about students sleeping with professors?

You mention other qualities, KIm K has what? LOOKS 65 million dollars worth of looks.

In the other thread I bumped, soooo many people posted how they get treated different and stared at because of their hair. At the salon sat. I was stared at the whole time I was in the chair. People were asking me questions about my hair and of course, I got the "Are you mixed?" question.

An ex-boyfriend begged me to grow my hair long. I had no idea how to do that or that BW even could. He started eating WW with long hair after we broke up ( maybe during).

You know, I don't make the what society deems as beautiful rules or why men like long hair rules but I damn sure now they exist.

 

[*CherryPie*]

Kim K. Doesn't just have looks. She has money. She has Bruce Jenner, a multiple times Gold medal Olympic track star, as a step father. She's pretty and "put's out" for just about everybody..... And STILL folks ain't knocking down her door trying to marry her. But they want to have sex with her.

Is THAT what you want? Her life looks GOOD to you?erplexed

....and I don't think her long hair has much...or anything to do with any of it....

Ummm...i can't seem to find where I said it could change your life I specifically see SO,DH,BFF, YOU and JOB in my original post. Yes. It could have changed certain situations in your life and that's supported by people posted how they were treated different by family, the church and men.

I never said it would change tour GPA- unless you slept with your professor because he thought you were cute and he loved your long hair Surely, you've heard about students sleeping with professors?

You mention other qualities, KIm K has what? LOOKS 65 million dollars worth of looks.

In the other thread I bumped, soooo many people posted how they get treated different and stared at because of their hair. At the salon sat. I was stared at the whole time I was in the chair. People were asking me questions about my hair and of course, I got the "Are you mixed?" question.

An ex-boyfriend begged me to grow my hair long. I had no idea how to do that or that BW even could. He started eating WW with long hair after we broke up ( maybe during).

You know, I don't make the what society deems as beautiful rules or why men like long hair rules but I damn sure now they exist.

 

[davisbr88]

All I know is... when I wear my daily bun or a shrunken style, I may as well be camouflaged. I wore my hair straight (it's a decent length - a couple inches from BSL), and it's like everyone went bananas. I got so much attention it was ridiculous.
I had a very low self-esteem growing up, and it's still a daily struggle, but I feel like maybe that would have made things a little different. I don't invest my entire esteem in my looks or anything, but that's what was always pinpointed when people talked badly about me to my face or behind my back. I imagine that feeling of not being invisible would have made me feel a little bit better growing up.
But who knows?

ETA: I'm confused... If it IS just hair, I'm not quite sure why the people saying that are even members of this forum dedicated to hair, AND posting in the hair section.

 

[*CherryPie*]

@ the bolded...

I joined LHCF because I was having some dryness and I was looking for ways to remedy it. It's very dry in the winter, here, in Chicago.

Then, I decided to go natural. I haven't been natural since I was a pre-teen, so I needed to learn how to care for this hair...

THAT'S WHY I'm a member of a hair forum. And, It's still not as serious as some of y'all make it.

All I know is... when I wear my daily bun or a shrunken style, I may as well be camouflaged. I wore my hair straight (it's a decent length - a couple inches from BSL), and it's like everyone went bananas. I got so much attention it was ridiculous.
I had a very low self-esteem growing up, and it's still a daily struggle, but I feel like maybe that would have made things a little different. I don't invest my entire esteem in my looks or anything, but that's what was always pinpointed when people talked badly about me to my face or behind my back. I imagine that feeling of not being invisible would have made me feel a little bit better growing up.
But who knows?

ETA: I'm confused... If it IS just hair, I'm not quite sure why the people saying that are even members of this forum dedicated to hair, AND posting in the hair section.[/QUOTE]

 

[davisbr88]

@ the bolded...

I joined LHCF because I was having some dryness and I was looking for ways to remedy it. It's very dry in the winter, here, in Chicago.

Then, I decided to go natural. I haven't been natural since I was a pre-teen, so I needed to learn how to care for this hair...

THAT'S WHY I'm a member of a hair forum. And, It's still not as serious as some of y'all make it.

...coming from someone who's always had long hair, so it probably wouldn't be serious to you. I'm referring to people who have not.
Seems odd that someone who grew up with short hair thought it was serious enough to join and pay for long hair tips and now thinks it's not serious.

 

[SmilingElephant]

It sounds like this could be compared to saying a white person can never understand what it's like to be black..........but vice versa as well. In a way.

To me, true i got all the questions and stares and such...BUT it wasn't serious to the point where i felt like i couldn't get jobs are anything like that if i didn't have my long hair. I LOVED my long hair...but even though ppl had a tendency to define me by it....i didn't define myself by it.

Hence my ability to big chop without ever crying that i cut all my hair off....but my family and some other ppl did. They were shocked....and it shocked ME that they were so upset over...hair.

But that's coming from a person who always had long hair. People who have short hair may see it differently.

 

[*CherryPie*]

Even though I've always had long hair, I don't think it's odd for someone with short hair. They might want to grow long hair, but, at the same time, know it's not that serious. There's nothing odd about that to me.

...coming from someone who's always had long hair, so it probably wouldn't be serious to you. I'm referring to people who have not.
Seems odd that someone who grew up with short hair thought it was serious enough to join and pay for long hair tips and now thinks it's not serious.

 

[Ogoma]

...coming from someone who's always had long hair, so it probably wouldn't be serious to you. I'm referring to people who have not.
Seems odd that someone who grew up with short hair thought it was serious enough to join and pay for long hair tips and now thinks it's not serious.

Unless I missed something, isn't it just $6.50 to join this forum? I got a coffee and a snack two hours ago for more than that . My hair has become my mini hobby, but it is not the most important or even near the more important things in the world to me. I spend far more on other hobbies and I don't think they are that serious either.

The 'why join a hair forum' if it is not that serious is not a well thought out one.

 

[*CherryPie*]

Wow! I could've written this!

My family was so emotionally invested in my hair that any time I cut it they freaked out! They notice even the slightest change in my hair. They would get mad at me for doing things to MY hair.

I had to prepare THEM before I went natural. They didn't like the idea at all..

They love it now though.... I think.

It sounds like this could be compared to saying a white person can never understand what it's like to be black..........but vice versa as well. In a way.

To me, true i got all the questions and stares and such...BUT it wasn't serious to the point where i felt like i couldn't get jobs are anything like that if i didn't have my long hair. I LOVED my long hair...but even though ppl had a tendency to define me by it....i didn't define myself by it.

Hence my ability to big chop without ever crying that i cut all my hair off....but my family and some other ppl did. They were shocked....and it shocked ME that they were so upset over...hair.

But that's coming from a person who always had long hair. People who have short hair may see it differently.

 

[4evershika]

SMH threads like this kill me...

I had NL hair for the first 22 years of my life. At APL, I am just now getting my first taste of the "long hair" that some of you have had your entire lives.

YES, I get more looks, more male attention, etc when I wear my hair out than I did when I was NL.

I fully believe that if I had longer hair as a teenager then I would have at least gotten checked for by some of the guys I had crushes on, liked, etc. Would I be married to one of them? Probably NOT! But it is a way that my life would have been DIFFERENT with longer hair.

Be real, there are some things that we don't have (more "smarts", more/less curves, more money, etc) that we believe would make some sort of difference in our lives... if not then, shoot, tell me your secret!!


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