Natural Hair 4B Ladies..Do AA Men Like Your Hair?

[BEAUTYU2U]

This stuff kinda confuses me. The same with "Now it doesn't matter if it rains!" Or "Swim as much as you'd like, you're natural now!" My dumb behind jumped in the water all wily-nily and my hair was a HAM! I later said to my sister, "But... I thought this was supposed to be more carefree and more versatile/styling options. It was simpler relaxed." I hope that stuff is posted in the natural hair myths thread. Otherwise you might be hearing a lot of women shrieking, "Agh! My hair!!" once emerging from a pool with a half-inch fro.

Tell me I'm not the only one who did that!

Sent from my T-Mobile G2 using T-Mobile G2

I think natural hair is less maintenance but you are so right about the pool/rain thing. I never ran from the rain or pools when I was relaxed. I mean, what could it do? But as a natural, my hair frizzes like *that* so when it's humid or raining, I'm upset (lol).

 

[Soquin]

I don't think it matters... Sure men might have a preference but like people said earlier, they look at face and body first. I've pulled/ attracted so many men in a hat (with all of my hair covered). Also, I think they will choose a confident woman over a woman with long hair...

 

[Oasis]

This stuff kinda confuses me. The same with "Now it doesn't matter if it rains!" Or "Swim as much as you'd like, you're natural now!" My dumb behind jumped in the water all wily-nily and my hair was a HAM! I later said to my sister, "But... I thought this was supposed to be more carefree and more versatile/styling options. It was simpler relaxed." I hope that stuff is posted in the natural hair myths thread. Otherwise you might be hearing a lot of women shrieking, "Agh! My hair!!" once emerging from a pool with a half-inch fro.

Tell me I'm not the only one who did that!

Sent from my T-Mobile G2 using T-Mobile G2

this is why i just look at natural folks when they talk of singing in the rain and going swimming without a care.:reddancer: yeah, maybe it's okay for your hair but my hair is having none.of.that.

water on my loose hair is an absolute disaster. it will take me from a full, beautifully defined twist/braid out to a lopsided, shrunken, matted, tangled, 1 inch fro. i guess that look is hot for some folks though.

 

[knt1229]

When I'm wearing a picked out puff or a wash n' go puff the water/rain/humidity is not a problem. But outside of that it's a no go. The trick is to put your hair in a style that will still look good if it frizzes or shrinks.

 

[angelica_lisa]

This stuff kinda confuses me. The same with "Now it doesn't matter if it rains!" Or "Swim as much as you'd like, you're natural now!" My dumb behind jumped in the water all wily-nily and my hair was a HAM! I later said to my sister, "But... I thought this was supposed to be more carefree and more versatile/styling options. It was simpler relaxed." I hope that stuff is posted in the natural hair myths thread. Otherwise you might be hearing a lot of women shrieking, "Agh! My hair!!" once emerging from a pool with a half-inch fro.

Tell me I'm not the only one who did that!

Sent from my T-Mobile G2 using T-Mobile G2

When I was younger, my hair was natural, but I got it pressed weekly. Rain was not my friend because my hair would poof up in less than 60 seconds...hehe. It was when I relaxed my hair I was like oh cool I don't have to worry about rain anymore. Unless I just came from the salon, of course ^^

Swimming is hard on your hair, no matter whether you are relaxed or natural. I always braided my hair up and wore a swimming cap (and got a lot of strange looks from my friends who wondered why I was wearing a swimming cap at the pool ).

 

[darlingdiva]

This stuff kinda confuses me. The same with "Now it doesn't matter if it rains!" Or "Swim as much as you'd like, you're natural now!" My dumb behind jumped in the water all wily-nily and my hair was a HAM! I later said to my sister, "But... I thought this was supposed to be more carefree and more versatile/styling options. It was simpler relaxed." I hope that stuff is posted in the natural hair myths thread. Otherwise you might be hearing a lot of women shrieking, "Agh! My hair!!" once emerging from a pool with a half-inch fro.

Tell me I'm not the only one who did that!

Sent from my T-Mobile G2 using T-Mobile G2

Thank you for pointing out the myth about how you don't have to worry about the rain when you're natural. You have to worry about it if you want to preserve a braidout or a twistout.

 

[pookaloo83]

I don't know if they do or not. I'm 28. The men my age ain't checking for my natural hair. Not that I care cause DH likes it. But the older black men love it!

Also white men or men that are not AA also like my hair. They think it's "cool".

 

[DDTexlaxed]

The question is do YOU like it? Who cares if they don't!

 

[Foxglove]

this is why i just look at natural folks when they talk of singing in the rain and going swimming without a care.:reddancer: yeah, maybe it's okay for your hair but my hair is having none.of.that.

water on my loose hair is an absolute disaster. it will take me from a full, beautifully defined twist/braid out to a lopsided, shrunken, matted, tangled, 1 inch fro. i guess that look is hot for some folks though.

This stuff kinda confuses me. The same with "Now it doesn't matter if it rains!" Or "Swim as much as you'd like, you're natural now!" My dumb behind jumped in the water all wily-nily and my hair was a HAM! I later said to my sister, "But... I thought this was supposed to be more carefree and more versatile/styling options. It was simpler relaxed." I hope that stuff is posted in the natural hair myths thread. Otherwise you might be hearing a lot of women shrieking, "Agh! My hair!!" once emerging from a pool with a half-inch fro.

Tell me I'm not the only one who did that!

Sent from my T-Mobile G2 using T-Mobile G2

Not everyone's shruhken fros are lopsided and matted and some people actually like their shrunken fros. Not saying some people don't have this problem but some of us actually like our "twa's"

 

[RegaLady]

I just thought black men were happy that you had hair!

And some don't care about that either. I know plenty(older men) that love the short cuts and baldies.

 

[Raspberry]

Some men don't give a damn, IMO. As long as your face & body is tight..

This how I feel..

I believe hair is part of the subconscious point system for men.. +20 points long pretty hair, +30 points pretty face, +30 points big round butt,etc.

I wouldn't worry about the small minority of black men who trump hair texture above all else...

Plus sometimes it's not about hair ..when I was a loose natural I got the least amount of male attention of my life but I was also at my highest weight ...

Most men are not judging a woman based on hair alone. I do think that the fantasy women of most AA men does not have 4ish natural hair but if her hair suits her and she's hot overall they're not trippin..

 

[hairsothick]

I have actually gotten more compliments about my hair from black men as a natural than I did when I had a relaxer. I had one tell me that he wishes he saw more women wearing their hair naturally.

I think the way natural hair is styled is more important to them than the texture.

 

[OndoGirl]

Sorry love, I love it when it rains on my hair. No umbrella, I just go out in the storm with my hair buckey naked. Nothing like the feeling of a summer rain on your hair <3 <3

Thought it was just me! I walked under the sprinkler system on purpose the other day, that felt so good on my head..man it was hot.

 

[OndoGirl]

I have actually gotten more compliments about my hair from black men as a natural than I did when I had a relaxer. I had one tell me that he wishes he saw more women wearing their hair naturally.

I think the way natural hair is styled is more important to them than the texture.

Your hair is beautiful! It looks so healthy..what's not to like

 

[OndoGirl]

The question is do YOU like it? Who cares if they don't!

For real though!

 

[GeauXavi]

I'm 4a...but i'm gonna chime in anyway...lol

I think that a couple of things matter:

1.) length- I get so many compliments from men now...but it's because my hair is getting bigger... and at this length stage, it compliments my face better imo

2.) style- I have seen some natural hairstyles that are straight up...unattractive. Just because you are natural doesn't mean that every way you style your hair is gonna be fly. If you care how men feel...switch it up every now and then. Whichever style gets the most attention from men...it's probably the most "attractive" in their eyes.

3.) everything else- if you're physically attractive, the way you carry yourself, etc. I saw this lady at a lounge the other night. She had a low fade. She was very pretty... but had her arms folded, and just seemed angry. I'm sure she probably thought that she didn't get as much male attention b/c of her hair... but nah, she just seemed like a *****.

Some things I've experienced:

Situation A:
Whenever I do my flat twist styles...other naturals give me compliments like crazy. Male attention drops significantly. I like these styles...but men don't check for them.

Situation B: Whenever I do my wash n go's I get positive comments from most people. Especially women...both natural and relaxed. I just don't like ssk's....lol

Situation C: Whenever my hair has stretched curls...ie: stretched wng, braid-out/ twist-out... men love my hair b/c it's big.

 

[chocolat79]

I don't know if they do or not. I'm 28. The men my age ain't checking for my natural hair. Not that I care cause DH likes it. But the older black men love it!

Also white men or men that are not AA also like my hair. They think it's "cool".

Yep, this best sums up my experience as well. Nothing to add.

 

[Oasis]

Not everyone's shruhken fros are lopsided and matted and some people actually like their shrunken fros. Not saying some people don't have this problem but some of us actually like our "twa's"

i'm pretty sure i was talking about me and my hair when water hits it and the type of look i like.erplexed i don't like shrunken fros on myself and i'm not going to apologize for that.*shrugs*

 

[mech]

I don't know I've heard of men making specific comments about various hair textures whether it was positive or negative.

they are ignorant and you prob wouldn't want them anyway. the more i get older, the less of a damn i give.

 

[westNDNbeauty]

I always side eye the woman that states or believes a male (or a specific male's) opinion does not matter.

Makes me question if you are single, who are you trying to attract when you don't care about the perspective of the opposite sex and what they find attractive. Or if you are married, what your spouse finds attractive is not a factor when deciding how you will present yourself?

Just my two cents as I've scrolled through all of the posts. For those interested, HERE is a video of one male's perspective on natural hair.

 

[Nonie]

This stuff kinda confuses me. The same with "Now it doesn't matter if it rains!" Or "Swim as much as you'd like, you're natural now!" My dumb behind jumped in the water all wily-nily and my hair was a HAM! I later said to my sister, "But... I thought this was supposed to be more carefree and more versatile/styling options. It was simpler relaxed." I hope that stuff is posted in the natural hair myths thread. Otherwise you might be hearing a lot of women shrieking, "Agh! My hair!!" once emerging from a pool with a half-inch fro.

Tell me I'm not the only one who did that!

Sent from my T-Mobile G2 using T-Mobile G2

this is why i just look at natural folks when they talk of singing in the rain and going swimming without a care.:reddancer: yeah, maybe it's okay for your hair but my hair is having none.of.that.

water on my loose hair is an absolute disaster. it will take me from a full, beautifully defined twist/braid out to a lopsided, shrunken, matted, tangled, 1 inch fro. i guess that look is hot for some folks though.

When I'm wearing a picked out puff or a wash n' go puff the water/rain/humidity is not a problem. But outside of that it's a no go. The trick is to put your hair in a style that will still look good if it frizzes or shrinks.

I totally agree with @Oasis and @EtherealEnigma. I have had natural hair more days in my life than relaxed and I can tell you that the only time rain doesn't bother me is when my hair is braided or twisted. If loose, unplanned shrinkage would leave me with more work than I care to do. I suppose after reading the forum and seeing how people spend hours dealing with their hair on a weekly basis, I can undersand how letting rain style your hair for you isn't such a bother...coz you'll just end up spending as much time as normal detangling your hair. Now me who never has to detangle, and who prefers the lazy life, I can tell you that the time I would have to deal with my hair if I let it get wet loose would probably make me start to reevaluate my reasons for not relaxing...

As for swimming Swimming caps have always been a necessity for me...and while they would not prevent my nape from getting wet, they were the SAFEST thing for me to wear in a pool. And why the precaution? Coz chlorinated water does a number on my hair. I have NEVER entered a pool with loose hair--not even when I didn't have a cap. And I can tell you, the few times in my life I let my hair enter a pool unprotected by a cap, I've ended up with something as hard as steel wool. In fact, I remember going to boarding school and not having Mom around me to insist I shampoo my hair immediately after swimming. And I paid gravely. I could not comb my hair when I tried to shampoo it the next day--and it had been braided! I had to get it shaved off. Yes, I went from about 5-6 inches to under a centimeter of length, thanks to chlorine water. So I do not play with the pool. And now that I know about conditioner being a good prep before swimming, the last time I wet swimming, I made sure my hair was coated, Saran wrapped, and was going to wear a swimcap over that but couldn't find one so wore a doorag cap. Still, I swam with my head out of the water .

So new 4Bers, do not assume your hair will love water and go all willy nilly into it. I don't even wash my hair loose...ever! It's always in plaits or mini-twists. And perhaps that's why I've never had a complaint about my hair. I don't ever let it get in a state that can be described as "difficult to deal with".

@knt1229, I only wear picked out afros and they are usually shrunken thanks to S Curl but I'd never let them get wet in the rain or the pool. That's why I carry an umbrella any time I leave my home.

 

[Nonie]

I always side eye the woman that states or believes a male (or a specific male's) opinion does not matter.

Makes me question if you are single, who are you trying to attract when you don't care about the perspective of the opposite sex and what they find attractive. Or if you are married, what your spouse finds attractive is not a factor when deciding how you will present yourself?

Just my two cents as I've scrolled through all of the posts. For those interested, HERE is a video of one male's perspective on natural hair.

@westNDNbeauty I suppose the way I interpret the statement is that the women who feel like that have developed a sense of style and are confident in it so that they are almost oblivious to any negativity. Or maybe they know that someone somewhere will appreciate them as they are--or have already witnessed it--so that they're really not trying to fit into some specific dude's idea of cute. Maybe as others have said, hair never even crosses their minds because they attract dudes regardless and the dudes they go out with never discuss hair.

When I met my hubby, my hair was relaxed but I was wearing it as if it's a very short cut. I had a side part and was smoothing it back as if to make a bun but it was too short for a bun so I'd just cross the back over and tuck the ends under (pic). Then I wore it down as a bob or like this. Then I braided it with extensions and transitioned. Then I went natural. All me calling the shots w/o really asking his input and he didn't really seem to have a problem with it. I have shared how he once told me that my hair looked like taratulas and he didn't like it; but I brought that on myself because I put myself on the table. I was telling him about how some relaxed girls were staring at my hair on a day when I hadn't styled my twists but just woke up and went out to the store and that's when he said that if it were that tarantula style, he doesn't really care for it either. But it didn't stop me wearing it like that because *I* absolutely love the do. I loved it so much that when someone else said they liked it, I wasn't surprised coz I know it's the shizzle! I still do. I just do me and I seem to sell it, and in time it grows on folks because I never find myself feeling any negative vibes over what I do.

When I BC'd in 2007--wasn't my choice but that of a SHS--both hubby and I were pissed. He just couldn't believe I sat down and trusted a stranger with scissors in my hair. He doesn't care for short hair (and neither do I) so we were in sync on that. He did like it when I wore it in pushed back puff--even if it initially looked like a bald baby with a bow on her head coz the elastic band was near my hairline . He thinks short hair is for boys so preferred it when my short hair was styled "like a girl". He'd compliment me on it. And I must say, I did love me too when it was styled that way otherwise I'd not have been doing it that way. I must admit I did feel more beautiful when it was styled like a girl than like a boy according to hubby's definition.

There's a time that my friend suggested that instead of doing a bare twistout I do one with product. I ended up looking like there are no combs where I come from.

I did NOT LIKE it! But we were supposed to be running to the store and so I braved the world like that. The more I looked at myself in the passenger side mirror, the more I was tickled by how crazy I looked. LOL I asked hubby-mine what he thought, and he didn't mind it. I was surprised coz to me that's what I'd look like if I lost my marbles and was let loose in public to roam the streets. And I can tell you I fixed that mess when I got home. Why? Because it is MY opinion of what looks good that matters to me. So while hubby didn't mind the do and said it looked OK, he and everyone else that thinks it's cute are entitled to that opinion, but I personally find it ugly and will never wear it like that on purpose. LOL

I think I've seen the video you linked to posted before but I don't remember watching it, and part of the reason is I am truly disinterested in what men think of our hair. Maybe it's because this isn't something that keeps me awake at night...or of importance to me and any men that've been in my life. I guess I am as interested in this as I am in knowing what they think about when standing at a urinal. In other words, interest level: minus infinity. Come to think of it, I don't even worry about what dresses men love on women, what shoes men love on women...etc. Maybe it's coz I already know: it's whatever I like.

As someone else implied, men love any hair. And it's better to be true to yourself and happy being you than to morph into what you think some guy likes. It's hard to maintain an unnatural state than to be you. And if you don't like what you do but do it just to please another, you'll be sacrificing a bit of your happiness for another. I don't think that's fair on you. Some guy on the Web might say he doesn't like ABC...but that's just one guy. He doesn't speak for Tony and Leroy and Mike. They may just want you to look well-groomed and smart...and be in high spirits. Happiness is always a nice thing to be around.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

I have actually gotten more compliments about my hair from black men as a natural than I did when I had a relaxer. I had one tell me that he wishes he saw more women wearing their hair naturally.

I think the way natural hair is styled is more important to them than the texture.

I just want to be the one to say, YOUR HAIR IS A DREAM. It's gorgeous and if a man couldn't appreciate that, I'd give him a serious side eye.

 

[Stormy]

And some don't care about that either. I know plenty(older men) that love the short cuts and baldies.

So true! I forgot to mention in my other post that my husband was VERY encouraging when I told him I was going to get mine shaved off! He looooves it and can't stop smiling and talking about it.

 

[Raspberry]

When I had locs they complimented my hair a lot. Some were fascinated by them.
I think they liked it because of the length (they were bsl/mbl) and not concerned about texture.
But when I cut my locs off and had a twa the compliments stop ...lol

Yea, I have locs and I also believe length is a big factor in how well they're recieved. It also happens that long locs flatter me more than most other styles I've had. I've also lost weight as my locs have grown and I do well with men nowadays..

HOWEVER, last week I rocked a lacefront and the attention I got was crazy. It was straight, MBL, gave me a black barbie look..very glamorous.. but I would think most would assume its a wig/weave (right?) because most black women don't have hair like that without a weave. But I got so many double-takes, stares, and stank looks from women. I was in disbelief.. like people really love this shiny bull-ish. . I now understand why so many women wear long weaves and lacefronts despite the flack .. cause in reality a nice weave will change your life . Still couldn't do it on a regular basis tho..

 

[HauteHippie]

Whoa... Nonie

You had to shave your head? That is so sad.

Thanks for the conditioner, saran wrap trick. I went ahead and texlaxed (Aw, I'm out of the club ), but I will definitely try that some time. That chlorine does not play.

 

[Oasis]

Yea, I have locs and I also believe length is a big factor in how well they're recieved. It also happens that long locs flatter me more than most other styles I've had. I've also lost weight as my locs have grown and I do well with men nowadays..

HOWEVER, last week I rocked a lacefront and the attention I got was crazy. It was straight, MBL, gave me a black barbie look..very glamorous.. but I would think most would assume its a wig/weave (right?) because most black women don't have hair like that without a weave. But I got so many double-takes, stares, and stank looks from women. I was in disbelief.. like people really love this shiny bull-ish. . I now understand why so many women wear long weaves and lacefronts despite the flack .. cause in reality a nice weave will change your life . Still couldn't do it on a regular basis tho..

Raspberry, how were you able to get your locs to fit under the wig? do you have sisterlocks?

 

[SND411]

Can people stop asking these bait questions?

 

[Raspberry]

@Raspberry, how were you able to get your locs to fit under the wig? do you have sisterlocks?

No I don't have sisterlocs, mine are a little smaller than pencil sized. I put the locs into a low messy bun, slicked the edges back with gel, and put a wig cap on.. then the lacefront. The wig hair just draped over the bun, wasn't really noticeable. It still wasn't the most comfortable arrangememt but doable, if I had put the wig on after a fresh retwist it would've been more comfortable.