"What do you do to your hair??"

[EbonyCPrincess]

I hear ya OP! Especially if someone follows up my basic info with several questions and I can tell the interest is genuine. I usually state the following in this order:

1.) I wash with a sulfate-free shampoo once per week. I briefly give a couple of drug-store examples and explain the harshness of sulfates.

2.) After washing, I always DC with a good, penetrating conditioner with heat for about 15 minutes. Again, if asked, I give a couple of options.

For example I will suggest Giovanni SAS Shampoo & Conditioner, Shea Moisture Shampoo/Conditioner, the new KeraCare, or Organix Coconut Milk Shampoo/Conditioner. I find ppl respond best when given a "matching" set that they can get readily from the store rather than me going all into visiting Whole Foods, Trader Joes, online vendors, etc.

3.) I moisturize my hair daily with a water based moisturizer and don't allow my hair to dry out. They inevitably ask how they can tell if a moisturizer is water based and I explain to examine the ingredients and stay away from products that contain mineral oil or petroleum (yes, I am one of those...)

4.) Lastly I explain that I occasionally give my hair a "break" with wigs, weaves or buns and stay away from frequent direct heat use.

I leave out the sealing, even though I think it is a vital part of helping me to retain moisture....I just feel people are resistant to the idea of using oil because they are scared they will be greasy or end up with weighed down hair. I don't mention pre-pooing or protective styling by name. I leave out the part about porosity correction, leave in, specific styles, or how I balance my protein/moisture. If after those 4 things they seem especially interested I will write down the names of a couple of my favorite hair forums/networks. They can find out way more on their own. But at the very least I cover washing, DC'ing, mositurizing and low manipulation (without actually using that term). I find that if they only ask the basic questions I can give information in about 10 minutes or so. If they ask (which more often than not nowadays they do) what I specifically use....I happily say Bee Mine and explain you can only get it online in our area.....that is usually such a turnoff! But they wanna know....and sometimes look at me crazy like the drugstore options I gave them is crap and I'm really a hater in disguise!

All in all, I'm not stingy at all with information and I don't give the stupid answer "I take really good care of it." That's like asking the straight-A student for help and they shrug and say "I study"....well duh?! (has actually happened to me before!)

 

[EbonyCPrincess]

AlliCat - do you ever give out the name of your blog? I certainly DON'T! Even though I show my face....I find ppl asking all the time "how do you have the time for that?" and lookin at me like I'm silly...so that and my YT I rarely share.

 

[AlliCat]

@AlliCat - do you ever give out the name of your blog? I certainly DON'T! Even though I show my face....I find ppl asking all the time "how do you have the time for that?" and lookin at me like I'm silly...so that and my YT I rarely share.

@EbonyCPrincess Nope never given out my blog. For one it's not really a newbie blog, I assume everyone who reads it is already in the loop. Besides, the hardcore hair junkies will find it with a general google search. I think certain people IRL would take it the wrong way -- they might think I'm obsessed...which I am but they don't need to know that

 

[Oasis]

i keep it short. so short that most folks have no idea what i'm talking about.

 

[empressri]

I give lengthy advice to those who really want answers. There are a handful of ladies I work with that I've written things down for and they've tried it successfully.

Then I have a friend that just called me the other day asking how to get her hair to curl naturally. Nevermind her thin edges or the breakage...she just wanted some curls. Advice is wasted on her.

 

[Rocky91]

I like to give out info about techniques rather than product, cause I find that's honestly what makes the big difference for me. so my short list is:
-low manipulation=only combing my hair on wash day and finding styles that work for that (rollersets, braid n curls, etc.)
-regular trimming
-deep conditioning at least once a month
that's usually not too much to absorb. if they want more, then i'll elaborate. but really my routine doesn't get much more complicated than that anyways....

 

[Vshanell]

I say, "I use conditioner and gel," and KIM. If they want more detail I give them the name of my blog, NC, and LHCF. But 99% of the time they brush off my answer with, "Oh well my hair's too nappy to do that." And I'm like, "Okay, if you say so."

Same thing I tell people. I don't get a lot of questions but if I do it's normally about my how I do my curly hair. I usually just say conditioner and gel which is the truth but there's a little more technique behind it than just combing conditioner and gel through, lol. If I told them my process I'd probably get looked at like I'm growing another head.

 

[mg1979]

I actually go into detail and let my enthusiasm take over, its usually someone with my hair-type and I always flash back to the days when I was clueless as to what to do with my thick coarse coils and I want to help them skip that phase.

What I do is ask them what they usually do with their hair so I can easily pick up on the red flags and tell them easy ways that they can alter their regimen to improve and begin to retain length and regain thickness. They usually contact me again saying what I said helped alot. If they ask what I do I tell people my fundamentals and that usually suffices.

Thanks for this! I'm gonna start asking what they do first. Cause if you tell them just what you do, then they do start with that won't work for my hair, & maybe it won't cause they add it too something they're already doing that makes it worse! Plus it puts it back on them to have to reveal first!


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[tiffjust2002]

My friend just asked me that the other day. She was like what do you use on your hair? And what do you do it? I was like a deer in headlights (huh?) In my head: How do I answer that question hmmm. Out Loud: Oh I just avoid heat, use protective styles that hide my ends, and keep my hair moisturized. I thought that summed it up in a nutshell Besides what products works for my hair may not for hers so no need in going into detail about them.

Just my 2 cents

 

[Solitude]

AlliCat

I don't think it's interpreted as hair snobbery. Sometimes I get a follow-up question like, "Which salon do you go to?" When I say none, they really don't seem to believe me. Like others said, most people are looking for a quick fix, but there is none.

I have had three separate friends that I introduced to YouTube and forums. But, it literally took 2 years of seeing my progress b4 they asked for the info.

As far as beauticians, I rarely go to them and I'm not about to give them my "secrets." I told one that I rollerset my hair regularly and she was like, "yeah, okkaaaay."

 

[bride91501]

I've gotten this question more lately as I just passed my 1 year being natural.

Honestly, I just use the language they're most familiar with: "I pretty much do the basics, and leave my hair alone." Most folks interpret this to mean wash, condition, and "protective style", even if they've never heard of the latter.

 

[Mizz Diamonds]

I direct them to the many of websites out there and youtube videos when people have a visual they seem to get it more than if I am just going on and on with my regi.

 

[Wildchild453]

I have a bad habit of telling too much but I've slowly started dialing back the info and say what I do in general.

 

[MilkChocolateOne]

If some asks me, I'll tell them. My regimen is simple and I don't do anything special to my hair. I just wash, deep condition, apply leave ins and style. I also wrap my hair up at night. I wash when my hair starts to feel dry and I don't let my hair get tangled. That's it. I don't cowash, take 5011 supplements, apply growth aids, no six step wash routine, no avc rinses, no ayurvedic herbs etc...

 

[beauti]

I was in Target getting a raincheck for Kinky Curly Curling Custard and the cashier asked me if that was how I got waves and curls in my hair. She said she didn't have "good hair" , so it probably wouldn't work. THE LADY WAS RELAXED WITHIN AN INCH OF HER LIFE! How the heck is a product going to make relaxed hair curly? I told her she would need to be natural for it to work, but she just didn't seem to get it She ignored me and kept asking about how to use it. She was probably my age, 40-50, and seemed to be totally oblivious to the fact that a relaxer takes away your curl pattern - permanently.

With that said, I just tell them to co-wash and keep their ends oiled. Most don't wanna hear that, however, cuz it sounds too simple. They wanna hear about eye of newt, and toe of frog, wool of bat and tongue of dog...

you're absolutely right! i just tell them i hide my hair under wigs and weaves and they look at me with doubt, roll their eyes, or give me a dirty look. oh well! there's no hocus pocus going on in my scalp oh and im not like some of yall, i keep lhcf to myself!my little secret

 

[prospurr4]

People usually assume I am natural, and then ask questions about my hair. So, I first explain that I am not natural, but I relax for only half the recommended time. If I don't "lose" them after that response, then I continue...giving as much information as I think they can handle.

ETA: When my hair was jacked up, I was hungry for information, especially after I realized that my hair was not destined to be a HAM! Therefore, I freely give info to others who ask...if they don't use it, then at least I did my part.

 

[divachyk]

beauti - LHCF is my secret too. I'm free to express my concerns without drawbacks, side-eyes and criticisms from folk I know.

 

[Mandy4610]

I have started saying as little as I possibly can I.e I wash and deep condition every week and make sure my ends are moisturized and protected. That's it, end of story.

I am so tired of explaining in people and then they either: say it's waaaay too much work, or I just have better hair than they do, or the products are too expensive, or they just simply don't get it and keep coming back to ask me every time they see how long my hair has grown.

No ma'am, I am done explaining, people always expect a miracle or the laziest way around it.


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[shasha8685]

I usually just say " I take care of it." I won't elaborate unless I'm asked.


I find that when I'm asked that question, people are looking for a product (or vitamin) that will magically grow their hair smh.

 

[AuNaturalMaMa]

I will share technically how I achieved the style, like twist-out, braid out, ect. I don't share products very much unless someone specifically asks, which is rare. The times they have I mentioned LHCF and looking for reviews on products is how I found mine.

 

[kittikat24]

It seems to me that ppl who ask are ALWAYS multi-tasking or busy and want a quick answer like, "Carols Daughter" and KIM. I wish we could just siddown so they can hear me out...

 

[Mandy4610]

Ladies, forgive me, but what is KIM?



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[MilkChocolateOne]

Ladies, forgive me, but what is KIM?



Sent from my iPhone 4 using LHCF

keep it moving

 

[SmileyNY]

I think it's important that we pass along information, especially to other black women. How can we complain, rant, & debate about how many black women are ashamed of and/or don't take care of their hair if we are not willing to pay it forward? Each one, teach one... or ten

HOWEVER, I agree that it can be overwhelming! Also, most times ppl aren't expecting a long spiel of information. They won't retain most of it anyway. What I'm thinking about doing is just making a blog entry with my regimen and, if they are really interested, sharing the link.



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