"What do you do to your hair??"

[AlliCat]

When I'm asked this question in real life I tend to give entirely too much detail I really want to be as helpful as possible but at the same time I don't want to overwhelm people

So how do you guys respond to non-LHCFers who ask for your regimen?? Do you spill all the beans in one shot? Or just say the basics and go from there if they show genuine interest. or just direct them to a website and keep it moving??

TIA

 

[Vshanell]

Lol, I'm the exact opposite. I keep it short and sweet. I feel that most people don't want to know long details, they just want you to tell them the product or two so they can go buy it and it's a miracle, lol. If they show more interest then I get excited and start telling them specific products and techniques.....but this hardly ever happens.

 

[MsChelle]

It depends on who asks. There are certain people that I know are only asking so they can find a reason to have something negative to say like "you know black people shouldn't wash they hair that often! You will be bald!!!" Others I will tell as much as they want to know because I know the interest is genuine. I had a co-worker who literally wrote down everything I told her. She later blamed me for some breakage that she had going on. I told her that works for me may not work for her because we have totally different hair types. Of course she interpreted that as I have "good hair" and she doesn't.

 

[AlliCat]

^ that reminds me, my good friend asked what i do and she literally wrote down everything, and bought everything the next day. She spent about $100 and 1 year later her hair is still NL and she doesn't use any of the products I told her about. From now on I'll focus on sharing techniques (protective styling, limited heat) instead of exact products.

 

[lux10023]

I keep it short and sweet…I usually say I deep condition once a week, try to stay away from heat and I use natural oils that you can find at your local wholefoods or etc
Which is true over the yrs ive learned to keep it simple with my hair…

I don’t really go into to much detail...because ppl get overwhelmed with info easily…if the person start asking specifics I will tell them exactly what products I use…

Ppl alwayssssssssssss ask me what I use in my hair and a zillion questions..i don’t like it..but I get it/understand the curiousity…


and ditto at ppl blamining you for a hair technique or product that you rec'd but didnt work for their hair...smdh lol

 

[AHeadOfCoils]

I'm natural and a lot of relaxed ladies ask me how did I get my hair to curl and coil up. I keep it short so we don't have to debate about what their natural hair would possibly look like. I just say "I wet it and put some conditioner on it. I'm natural". My natural girlfriends and family members never ask me since they know the business lol.

 

[C@ssandr@]

Short and sweet. People will certainly become overwhelmed and think i'm crazy. I've actually rehearsed what I say because I get asked alot (and i take that as a compliment).

I say "I keep my ends moisturized so they don't get dry or break off."

Because that is what I attriubute most to my success.

When they ask for more details, that's when I go in, lol.
and lastly I ALWAYS direct them here. The info is free if they really want it.

 

[MsLi@512]

I unfortunately don't have this problem yet. I do crazy p.s ing, but will stop so much when I reach my goal hopefully in a year or shorter. I have often thought about what to share when the time inevitably comes. And I'm also working on my bobing and weaving for when someone attempts to touch my hair. (I'm in training!)

 

[divachyk]

From here on out, short and sweet. Too much detail keeps them coming back asking for more. At first that was all good and cool but they seem to want to swing by (my desk at work) at times that is way to inconvenient for me. In turn, I'm not in the mood and it just kills the whole hair buzz for me. They ask too many questions, don't want to put forth the effort, etc.

 

[halee_J]

I used to gush and explain every detail, but like others have said they usually A. Are looking to hear one secret miracle product/ technique or B. Are gonna shoot down whatever you say. So now I go by feel; I give a little info and if they seem interested I keep talking

 

[choctaw]

I say I wash my hair almost daily with conditioner & oils ... <crickets chirping>

 

[EllePixie]

I say, "I use conditioner and gel," and KIM. If they want more detail I give them the name of my blog, NC, and LHCF. But 99% of the time they brush off my answer with, "Oh well my hair's too nappy to do that." And I'm like, "Okay, if you say so."

 

[topnotch1010]

I tell them I don't use heat and I don't trim my hair. If they show more interest I direct them to this site.

I've directed 2 people to this site and both are still between EL and NL years later. I told one lady about it for her dd and her dd's hair is still jacked up and that was years ago.

 

[Imani]

I keep it as short as possible. Most people are too lazy or just unwilling to do most of the things I do anyway. Right now, I simply say something like "no chemicals, very little heat, and wearing it up most of the time". I may throw out "natural products and keeping it moisturized". But I don't go into detail unless I'm asked about specifics.

 

[silenttullip]

I use to tell them "nothing" when I was a teen and relaxed
because I literally did NOTHING and it just grew any way
Now I realize I always rolled my ponytail inside so it was
never on my shoulders and I rarely wore it down which kept from getting breakage
now no one asks besides my lil sis and I tell her exactly what I do

 

[Aireen]

Cool question. I never say what I do. I say the basics that will help the majority and try to keep it as succinct as possible. If more questions are asked, I answer what will help the majority. If the conversation becomes too long and will need explicit detail, I offer to give them a 3 month plan write up.

If I say what I do, people will assume I'm holding out on some secret and will give me the side eye.

 

[Solitude]

I tell very little to strangers and beauticians. I usually just say, "I use KeraCare." and KIM.

If it's a friend with genuine interest, I *might* go into more detail.

 

[KurlyNinja]

I say. I keep it off my shoulders. Most people are happy with that answer and they usually do see SOME results after a while.

 

[Toy]

Cosigning with the other ladies i keep it short and sweet...I mainly say i use conditioners and no grease after i say no grease they go away.

 

[greenandchic]

I tend to keep it short as well.

1. Most of the time they are relaxed and I cant relate to relaxed hair because I was never relaxed.

2. A lot of times, they want to hear about a miracle product to get my length, volume, texture, curl pattern, etc like NOW and there is no such thing.

3. Sometimes people ask because they are waiting to say something disparaging, negative or discouraging in reply.

I tell them I wash a couple times a week, deep condition, treat my hair gently, use leave in conditioners, oils, and light gels, and never heat style my hair. If they want more info, Ill tell them, but if they're giving me the side eye, I end it and wish them luck in their hair journey.

 

[Nix08]

This is a great question as I also never know what to say...our pediatrician was saying how their dd's hair was breaking and dry and how they've tried everyone's suggestions of greasing the scalp/hair, extensions etc...and what did I say..NOTHING...I felt terrible after. DH suggested that I write up some advice and send it to them...I did and a few weeks later I got a thank you card in the mail...I was overjoyed! But in the meantime I was so nervous thinking I had overstepped or sounded like a real idiot!

 

[PJaye]

I also have a simple rehearsed answer: “I wash my hair at least one a week, and use lots and lots of conditioner.” I know that once I mention frequent washings, almost all of them will become disinterested and leave me alone.

 

[JJamiah]

HOnestly I just learned to Keep it simple. I don't do anything special out of my ordinary to get my hair long. If they want to know what I used I tell them. I have learned most people don't want or feel they want to put in the effort. I can't stand when you do tell them and they act interested only to reask five years later at the same health of hair. At that point I sugguest a good book.

 

[kittikat24]

As I read these replies, I've noticed a pattern--Keepin' it simple. When it all boils down to growing our hair, low mani/protective styling and keeping it hydrated seems to be the main factor. Thumbs up to that!!

I just tell ppl, "I keep it up off my shoulders and rarely use heat."

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

I actually go into detail and let my enthusiasm take over, its usually someone with my hair-type and I always flash back to the days when I was clueless as to what to do with my thick coarse coils and I want to help them skip that phase.

What I do is ask them what they usually do with their hair so I can easily pick up on the red flags and tell them easy ways that they can alter their regimen to improve and begin to retain length and regain thickness. They usually contact me again saying what I said helped alot. If they ask what I do I tell people my fundamentals and that usually suffices.

 

[SweetTea]

BMP, since you're so good at caring for your hair type, do you have any detangling tips for type 4 hair? My hair always wants to mat and dread. Luckily the dreads tend not to stick so much and can usually easily be pulled apart, but I still feel like I'm losing too much hair/getting too much breakage detangling.

 

[AlliCat]

Great answers ladies keep them coming!! @kittikat24 there is definitely a trend of keeping it simple, which is cool because it really does work.

For those who give extremely short answers and keep it moving: do people ever interpret that as hair snobbery? EllePixie Solitude

 

[ChristmasCarol]

I was in Target getting a raincheck for Kinky Curly Curling Custard and the cashier asked me if that was how I got waves and curls in my hair. She said she didn't have "good hair" , so it probably wouldn't work. THE LADY WAS RELAXED WITHIN AN INCH OF HER LIFE! How the heck is a product going to make relaxed hair curly? I told her she would need to be natural for it to work, but she just didn't seem to get it She ignored me and kept asking about how to use it. She was probably my age, 40-50, and seemed to be totally oblivious to the fact that a relaxer takes away your curl pattern - permanently.

With that said, I just tell them to co-wash and keep their ends oiled. Most don't wanna hear that, however, cuz it sounds too simple. They wanna hear about eye of newt, and toe of frog, wool of bat and tongue of dog...

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

BMP, since you're so good at caring for your hair type, do you have any detangling tips for type 4 hair? My hair always wants to mat and dread. Luckily the dreads tend not to stick so much and can usually easily be pulled apart, but I still feel like I'm losing too much hair/getting too much breakage detangling.

SweetTea Sure, for me the key is detangling in sections, about 11+ sections, preferably square, well parted sections so that there wont be any stray hairs getting caught. Add a generous amount of a slippery conditioner one section at a time, and comb from the ends up to the roots, once a section is detangled, it must immediately be braided tightly from the roots downwards to allow to airdry.

To prevent the need for detangling I always wash/condition in 11+ braids as well and always keep my hair in stretched styles.....always.

HTH

ETA: What styles are you usually keeping your hair in that it's matting and forming dreads?

 

[kittikat24]

BlackMasterPiece: Yeah, I retain the most length when I braid and airdry/stretch. Although my hair looks pretty in a wash n go style, it causes seriously tangled and DRY hair I'll have to deal with later!