Why does every one's natural hair look nice except mine?

[Harina]

Do you ever find yourself saying that? Am I just catching everyone on the streets during thier good hair day? It doesn't seem to matter what I put on it. It tends to stay dry. It doesn't matter how long it takes me to do a style or how much effort I put in it. It tends to look bad. I would like to leave my hair in twists but they look like crap. The only time my natural hair has ever looked consistently nice is when it is in braids, threaded, flat ironed, and in a salon blown-out puff. FML. Sigh. Rant over. Whatever.

 

[IMFOCSD]

O wow, I'm sorry to hear(read) that u feel this way....it will get better in due time. Maybe you should search for different products that will help you with your hair issues.

I have felt this way too and thats when i found this board.

 

[AuNaturalMaMa]

If your comparing your hair to others that could possibly be a hinderance. Take pictures of your hair when you feel its looking its best. Put it up and compare your hair to your hair. Its nice to look @ others for inspiration but I have to remind myself that no two heads are alike. Try to style in styles that you like. If you dont feel comfortable with the way the style turned out that day wear a hat or scarf. I find that I'm my worst critic. I will think "Ugh this braid out is horrible looking" but everyone else thinks its beautiful and ask how I achieved the style.

 

[nappystorm]

That's how I feel about my twists and "out" styles

 

[keepithealthy]

That's how I feel about braid outs!! I just don't know what I am doing wrong :/ So I visit the braid out occasionally hoping to figure it out. But, I focus on styles that I know I can do and work for me; basically twists, twist outs and buns. Find a style that looks good on you and master it. Oh and don't compare your hair to others. Each head of hair is unique as each person. Hope you feel better.

 

[peachfuzzz]

That can be discouraging (I've been there many times). Especially when I follow tutorials and it still doesn't come out right( they all seemed to end in a poofy or shrunken mess. I decided to do all the things I knew to keep it moisturized and healthy (wash/condish, dc, seal, and protective stylin'). My hair has grown and my experiments with styles like twist outs are looking better. It may be that my hair needed a little more length for what I was trying to accomplish.

 

[Oasis]

i feel you. i can definitely get my hair to look nice but it is soooo dry and frizzy. it seems that folks on here, no matter the type, have their hair down to a science. i've been in this for over four years yet i'm still struggling.

 

[An_gell]

Sorry that you are having a hard time, but don't give up hang in there. I remember when I first started using no heat on my hair. My hair was a hot mess, but I stuck it out and kept going now that I have more length and have found products that work for my hair it looks good and I get lots of compliments. So don't give up I had some really bad hair days when I first started out on my healthy hair journey and I often wonder how I did it, but I did and now I see the benefits.

 

[prettypithy]

Do you ever find yourself saying that? Am I just catching everyone on the streets during thier good hair day?

This thread sounds like I wrote it. No, you are not alone. I'm sure a lot of the chicks you are looking at ARE having a good hair day. We don't tend to notice or compare ourselves to those who look a mess!

 

[EllePixie]

To be completely honest, I think you are setting yourself up for failure by comparing your hair to others.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

I used to feel like this until I found the right products for my hair. What are you doing with your hair and why do you think it looks bad?

 

[RegaLady]

To me, the good thing about natural hair is that there are no rules. Like others have stated, comparing your hair to others will leave you unsatisfied. To me each style depends on the wearer, so find something that is easy for you to do, flatters you, and makes you feel confident. If you do copy, add your own touch and edge.

 

[MzSwift]

The ladies have given you good advice.
I just wanted to send you a ((HUG)) and to encourage you to continue to rock the styles that you feel look great on you!

 

[Ozma]

This is how I feel about wash-n-go's. My hair looks okay until it air dries, then it looks a HAM. At this point, I stick to braidouts and twistouts, since I have learned how to do those styles well.

 

[Harina]

Thank you for the encouragement.

I don't know if this is going to make sense, but it's not so much that I am comparing my hair to others. It's just that I can't help but notice that everyone else seems to be able to make their natural hair look nice, no matter the hair type. Ok, not every single natural I see, but a good majority of them. Maybe it's the Atlanta thing. I cater to my own hair and my own needs but it still doesn't turn out right or stay moisturized. I think that's the most frustrating thing. The dryness. I thought I had the figured out but nope/ And to boot it's at an awkward stage where it's not that short but it's not that long. I started a thread about wanting to loc my hair a couple of weeks ago. Though I think locs are very beautiful, I don't think I would necessarily want to loc my hair if it wasn't for the fact that I can't get twists and braids and braidouts and all of the loose and protective styles right. I will probably end up locing my hair eventually but I wasn't expecting to do it so quickly. I think I am just fed up with my hair.

 

[silenttullip]

I think it's a phase many naturals go through. I'm there now. I think it's about your perception. Those people who you think have lovely hair that day are probably thinking its a bad hair day and admiring your hair. As for it staying dry... Do you drink enough water? Do you deep condition with a cone free conditioner? Do you spray your hair frequently with water? If I were you I'd spring for some braids since it's summer a flat ironing probably wouldn't last it wouldn't for me anyway. But rock some braids (after u handle the dryness issue) until you feel better. You could also try that braid tutorial on growafrohairlong if you want to braid it yourself. I'm not good with styles at all and I'm at an awkward stage too... How do you feel about pretty hats? In atl when I first went natural that's what I rocked with a pretty satin scarf under it or cornrows. hth

 

[somewhereinbtwn]

I totally understand. When I see people on here with these super defined twist outs, shiny curls, soft fluffy fros, I want their hair so bad! I try to recreate these looks but a lot of the time my hair comes out looking like ehhh . But when I just think about my hair compared to my hair well it's actually pretty awesome. Especially if I compare it to the condition it use to be in. I've actual learned how to manage my hair, and make it do different things. That alone is enough to make me appreciate it, not to mention the occasional good hair day.

I think it might just take time to for you figure out your hair. You can try to accept your hair for what it can do right now, and hopefully in time you can learn what your hair needs to flourish. Hang in there OP, and good luck!

 

[kittikat24]

This is how I feel when I watch Youtube videos
I'm serious, it seems like between the flawless skin, bouncy curls and perfect teeth, I'm left so discouraged!
Ladies these days on YT be havin' their hair on POINT!
I then realized that I had to stop constantly comparing myself to others and just move on, and look at my own progress pics and see how far I've come on the journey

 

[An_gell]

Thank you for the encouragement.

I don't know if this is going to make sense, but it's not so much that I am comparing my hair to others. It's just that I can't help but notice that everyone else seems to be able to make their natural hair look nice, no matter the hair type. Ok, not every single natural I see, but a good majority of them. Maybe it's the Atlanta thing. I cater to my own hair and my own needs but it still doesn't turn out right or stay moisturized. I think that's the most frustrating thing. The dryness. I thought I had the figured out but nope/ And to boot it's at an awkward stage where it's not that short but it's not that long. I started a thread about wanting to loc my hair a couple of weeks ago. Though I think locs are very beautiful, I don't think I would necessarily want to loc my hair if it wasn't for the fact that I can't get twists and braids and braidouts and all of the loose and protective styles right. I will probably end up locing my hair eventually but I wasn't expecting to do it so quickly. I think I am just fed up with my hair.

For the dryness have you tried Roux porosity control to correct it. I usually use this or do a protein treatment. Lately when it seems my porosity is off I use the 2 min protein treatment. This could help with the dryness. Also have you considered getting braids or a sew-in to give you a break from your hair. I know when I get tired of my hair I put my braids in this keeps me from making drastic decisions that I might later on regret. HTH

 

[Iluvsmuhgrass]

First: Don't be sad or frustrated.


Second: I understand and at times I feel that way too..... until someone tells me that they love my hair or are wanting to go natural but they're afraid because they're not sure what to expect. I love my grass but there are times that it's not doing what I think it should be. The best thing you can do is roll with it and make beauty out of what you perceive as chaos. For instance, I tried a braid out and it was an EPIC FAIL. I grabbed my tangle teaser, slapped in some moisture, and made an awesome "blowout" fro. I've learned that the only limit with natural hair is based on your own imagination. Sometimes you just have to be creative. I can't cornrow because of CTS so I have to figure out other alternatives.

I see alot of gorgeous heads of hair on the board and IRL. If I see someone who's grass/style is just awesome, I'll compliment and ask questions from time to time.

Don't feel bad, just understand that being natural is a good thing and there's a huge learning curve. One day when you have nothing to do, watch a few vids, try the tuts out for yourself, and tweak them to your liking. You just might find a few signature styles!

 

[cheryl26]

It could just be your hairtype goes wild in humidity and if you're in ATL I think it's crazy humid up there. I'm down by the Gulf and it was 103 today. Mine is the same way, nothing you can really do about it except find some hard holding gel or go through 1000 products til you find one to keep your hair in place. You should give the tresemee products a try. The curl jelly and lotion keep the humidity at bay and are pretty cheap, about 3-5 at Walmart

 

[anartist4u2001]

ugh, i live in Fort Worth, TX. i put some of that stuff in my hair today. it's gonna go *poof*!

 

[Truth]

eh I feel that way about my twistouts/braidouts somedays... I just simply keep it moving....