Every Black Man's Dream

[NYDiva]

i'm taking the title of the thread literally. what a person may dream of vs what he does like is different. i prefer my hair long, and am going to get there. but when i see a really nice cut and style on someone, i do waiver. but my dream is long hair. i do agree that in general men like a nice, healthy head of real hair, whether long or short? but i do believe that in their dream world, long locks reign supreme.

 

[Chanteuse]

The thing is - most men are not going to tell you they prefer something that you as their SO or someone they are trying to get with do not have. So even if they do prefer long hair, they are not going to tell you that if your hair is short. The same way they won't tell you they prefer a donk or big tatas if you don't have them.

 

[divachyk]

My dh loves short hair, I'm talking Halle Berry short but thankfully, he doesn't impose that upon me. Now, if I'm foolish enough to ask "how should I cut my hair" -- then he'll nicely suggest.

 

[Desert Skye]

I'm with the camp that says guys just want it to make you look good. If most guys preferred long hair, what was all the hoopla when Halle had it in a bob? They drooled over it because IT MADE HER LOOK GOOD (well she always looked good I mean it enhanced her features)

It just has to look good. Healthy and well maintained.

 

[esi.adokowa]

I think men prefer attractive women.
Long hair, short hair, blue eyes, green eyes, tall, short.
Most men won't tell a women no as long as she is good-looking.
The particular attributes she may possess are not as important as the finished attractive product.

I think that if a man finds a woman attractive, it doesn't matter what she does to her hair provided it doesn't detract from her overall package.

At least that's my experience.

 

[Simply_elle]

All I know is the only times random black men have complimented me on my hair specifically was when I had a twa and when I had a pixie cut. So I don't think long hair is every BMs ideal.

Going to have to agree....

Rocked my Apl hair and the guys were so so.... got a good ole Halle Berry(cut), and men came out of the woodwork!!! Including my current SO. Also white men are really loving my TWA wow I'd just cut my hair at 18 if I knew what I knew now....:s Lol...

 

[Missjae09]

I think that a lot of men like short hair but would not be mad if their woman had long hair. I don't know that I would say it's every black man's dream but I do think that it would be icing on the cake for a lot of men.

 

[Solitude]

Most guys I date like clean, real hair. Emphasis on real hair -short or long.

 

[lilsparkle825]

Every man's dream? Seriously, who appointed your coworker spokeswoman for what men want? LOL! Going deeper, if she said that, then that means she only wants long hair for one reason.

I hate generalizations, but I have seen and heard many a male express a love for long hair. However, they want it to be growing out of your scalp -- the same men usually have a strong aversion to weave/extensions. It may be because long hair is rare on a black women (at least, this is usually the case, and I mean the non-LHCF-subscribing general population). Then again, short healthy hair > long raggedy hair. Of course, it's how you style it, how you carry yourself, etc.

My last SO was really attracted to girls with long hair, so when I joined LHCF in 2008 and subsequently told him I was growing my hair out he was ecstatic. He didn't realize a BC was coming first, and he was less than pleased when I cut my hair and wore it in its shrunken state 95% of the time. I saw him this spring and took great joy in swinging my freshly blown-out full APL hair and watching him hold his jaw up so it wouldn't hit the floor. My current SO is an anomaly, as he just prefers my hair curly more than anything else. He did ask once how long it is when straight, so when it came time for my length check I was on the edge of my seat to note his response. He liked it enough, but after 5 minutes or so he began asking when I was going to wash it and "curl it back up again". I don't know how my dad likes hair...all I know is that he was really upset when my sister came home at 6 with a relaxer and over the moon when she decided at 11 she was going natural again.

 

[Whimsy]

I think most men, regardless of race prefer long hair to short.

Specific women (like halle) should be left out of this generalization.

Let's look at what's marketed to men: men's magazines. Have you ever seen a TWA or buzzcut on these women? If men preferred short hair, that's what would be on the covers of playboy, black men's, whateverothermagazine.... But no, we see long flowing weaves/extensions and long straight hair.

 

[LittleLuxe]

Every man's dream...is a woman with hair of any length exuding sexuality.

If Halle was a quiet little thing hiding in her skin no one would take notice, but she chopped off her hair and then walked out with head held high and oozing that 'va-va-voom!' and girrrl, there's a reason it's now dubbed the 'halle'. Because girlfriend owned it.

A man may offer you a list of what he wants but more often than not watch a girl the total opposite of what he said with complete confidence walk past him and see if his head don't turn.

That's why we don't listen to men, lol (joking) Lord knows they'll swear up and down they want one thing and then leave with another if she's looking like 'you can't even handle this'

 

[Guitarhero]

At the risk of being misunderstood, I'll say it anyway. It's not what another wants of you, it's what you want of yourself. Afterall, you will be the one to wear it.

 

[bludaydreamr]

I have never had a short hair cut, nor have I ever been told or heard a man say he preferred short hair to long; although, ITA most men are attracted to confidence.

 

[lovelexi]

I don't think its a black thing I think its an all men thing regardless of race or color. Long hair is seen as more feminine.

 

[detroitdiva]

My baby does not care how I look really but no matter what he says, I know that he prefers shoulder length or longer. It's just his reaction to that length that lets me know that he likes it more. I don't care because so do I .

 

[Curly Lee]

LOL @ our dads. My dad loves short hair too, as does my white neighbor who thinks black women with TWA are FIYAH!

I do think long hair is indeed associated with sex appeal and femininity: "A woman's hair is her glory" so it's not odd that long hair is indeed a turn on for a lot of men. But there are indeed some men who don't care one way or another, which I think is a great thing because hair can come and go and it'd be sad for someone to stop seeing beauty in his girl because she had to cut her hair or lose it to illness.

Some men don't even know what they like and a little confidence in a woman can help them figure out that it is her length (whatever that may be) that they liked all along.

very well put.

 

[ms.blue]

It depends on a the man b/c my dad don't care if the hair is long or short, real or fake. My brother loves women with long hair without weaves or wigs. One ex did like my "long" hair and hated that I put a weave in my hair but the other exes didn't care at all as long my hair looked good.
Its all about preferences.

 

[Freespirit02]

I think as long as you look good..face and body wise a man will date you if you had a purple mohawk. Now I've heard some men say..that some women NEED long hair to make up for the things they lack (nice body and/or face).

 

[D.Lisha]

Ya know, I can see where this generalization would stem from. I mean think about it...in song lyrics what do you hear now a days-"I like a LONG-HAIRED thick red bone" (Lil Wayne "Every Girl), "like waterfalls YOUR HAIR FALLS DOWN TO YOUR WAIST can i get a taste girl" (Usher, "There goes My Baby) or even Willow Smith's ode to long hair (that's my jam by the way). It's pretty easy to generalize that most men...heck even most of society desires long hair over short. But as so many ladies have previously stated...I think most men couldn't care less what your length is as long as your hair does a good job of flattering YOU and YOUR physical features. All you need is a cute hair style and a dash of confidence...and BOOM you have the power to not only turn heads but BREAK NECKS..no matter what your length may be.

 

[brucebettye]

It depends on the man. Variety is the spice of life (even when it comes to hair).

 

[nappystorm]

I think most men, period, likes long flowing hair.

 

[shunemite]

men dream of femininity IMO, so if you have short hair if it's styled right, they don't mind. You gotta have a certain head shape to rock short hair. But at the end of the day I think that yes, some, absolutely dream of long hair all the time like some of us dream about 6 pack abs on a man who is 6 feet tall. Maybe the dream exists but we're all happy with the reality we end up with so it doesn't matter.

 

[lea86111]

i think men in general prefer long hair, obviously that would change from woman to woman, like if you look bad with long hair then he'll suggest you to cut it but in general if the woman looked just as good with both they'd choose long hair. most black men don't have a choice anyways cause most black women have hair on the shorter side and most black men don't like weave so short and sexy will do. plus i see men's reaction to women with long healthy hair, it's crazy, they literally drool

 

[Evolving78]

when my hair is short, i get more compliments from men than women and my dh loves short hair. he didn't approach me until i cut my hair off and i had arm-pit length at the time.

 

[Missi]

Majority of black women do not have long hair which eliminates the option for black men to choose long hair over short

I think because its rare to see a black women with long "real" healthy hair, it gives that exotic sexy look to a girl. Face it, we stare too, even us LHCFers....and black men are attracted to that.

Rather its healthy short or healthy long....men do prefer it over a weave covering damaged hair.

My ex prefered "big butts" lmao but his next girlfriend didn't have no booty. Lol...even though he joked about it...he still dated her. If a black guy had an option to prefer short over long...i think he would choose long. OR watever made his girl look sexy.

 

[flowinlocks]

Sigh.. well in his topic Ten Things Men Find Unattractive in Women But Probably Won’t Tell You , single black male speaks candidly on this.

#6. Random hair cuts or attempts to go natural – Have you ever seen that look a man has when he’s been caught cheating? It is NOTHING compared to meeting up with his boo and she decided to cut all her hair off. Your hair was down to the middle of your back yesterday, but now you sporting a Kobe fro. We will not be partying like it’s 1999 boo.

Some of the responses from men and women.
Women

"I can agree with all apart from #6. As a person/woman/individual I reserve the right to change my appearance at a moment’s notice – just as a man does.

I really hate the thought of women not being about to go natural for fear of their man leaving or cheating on them, especially when it relates to using harmful chemicals or tools to straighten or weaves.

I don’t care too much for a man’s hang up – about my hair skimming my butt! When I chose to go natural I shaved my hair and didn’t tell a soul – and I got more play than my straight hair/weave wearing friends!! So don’t listen ladies if you want to go natural do you it for you and **** him!!!"

Men

"All that works when you are single sister. Sure I’ll holla at a bald chick if I like it. But when you are in a relationship such a drastic change will get you the Chris Brown treatment. You can’t make drastic decision on your looks OR ANYTHING when you are someone’s LIFE PARTNER.

There is no you, just us. We are not telling you that you can never got natural, once you have been nice and nap free. But there should be a conversation about this and were WE as a couple are going with your hair. What are we looking to accomplish by going short or natural? How long with this phase last? Will you wig it?

and excuse me, when do men randomly change their looks? I’ve been getting ceasars since ’96 … now that I am growing a fro it shouldn’t surprise anyone, you can see it growing in genius.
S Curl.. Memorial Day ’10.. WATCH OUT!"

SBM responds

"Its not “just hair”. While you love someone for more than just hair, it is a major change to your look and appearance and I don’t think anyone should be faulted for not wanting to see drastic changes every week.

Hair is important … sorry …"

women
"#6 seems to be true from my experience, tho I dont understand it. Its just hair, it will grow back. When I did my chop I got some compliments from Black men, but a lot of them hit me with the “what happened to the long hair?”. Oh well, their preference isn’t my problem, I wear my hair for myself, not for anyone else."

"Interesting list–all except for #6 the hair part. She shouldn’t need permission to change her hair if that’s what she wants. If she’s bold enough to do that much a drastic change, then she probably’s not concerned with your opinion at that point; otherwise, she would mention it."

Men
"Ladies, follow this advice at your own risk. This advice ties directly into point 10. which is"

Women who think they can do WHATEVER they want – These are the women screaming at the promoter outside the club. These are the women who will break things in your house because they are having a temper tantrum. These are the women who say things like, “And I will tell him to do it, and he will do that ish.” These are the women who end up at the Chesapeake Rest Area because their man didn’t make it out of Maryland before he put her out the Range.

Women

"LOL..I’m number 6 all day long ( I don’t ask but I do inform him.) I change my hair like I change my draws (lol), especially when it comes to cutting it off *shrugs* he’s used to it and actually looks as me sideways when I have long hair for more than a minute, lol. He knows something is up when I say “I’m getting my hair done.” Which usually means “I’m getting this hair cut off!” When I told him I was growing out my relaxer, he asked why and what it meant , I told him, he shrugged “ok” and went on about his business."

"Yea know you know you wrong for #6 about going natural or cutting your hair…it’s not happening to you so deal wit that ish!!"

"Everything but #6"

"Question… is the shorter hair unattractive, or is it the fact that she didn’t confer with you first? or both?"

And finally men

"for some reason i feel like being honest, imma carry this torch so a lot of dudes dont have to.

to me, i don’t like short hair. i have met very few chicks with short hair that i found attractive. that’s me, i like long hair, that’s my ish. i’m entitled.

but i’d say the issue is not the short hair, its not conferring.

but either way, i’ve been known to say to a girl, “if you cut your hair, i’m breaking up with you.” i was only half-serious. but that 50% was from the heart SON."


"its funny to me how a lot of women are agreeing with everything except #6. the list is “things men find unattractive but probably won’t tell you”. how are you (as a woman) going to tell a man what he deems attractive/unattractive? hilarious."





Ten Things Men Find Unattractive in Women But Probably Won’t Tell You | Single Black Male

 

[TLC1020]

I believe men want a women with healthy hair and sorta long like shoulder length........ When you have a short hair cut you have to rock that cut........

 

[Lita]

Every-one is different...(The men I know just like Neat healthy hair)











Happy Hair Growing!

 

[nsmith30]

The men I know like long healthy hair. When I started my transition I discussed it with my SO. However, I waited until he was deployed to do the bc. His response upon seeing the picture, "What have you done?"

 

[lovely_locks]

I think that most white men like long hair. My husband is white and he likes long hair. But to him long hair is shoulder length or longer. He was so shocked when he was done giving me my BC. My hair was shoulder length.