Hair Depression... Sniffle Sniffle

[Louisex3]

Remember that hair, and nails are the LAST things your body gives nutrients to, so if you're not taking care of your body and giving it the nutrients it needs, your hair and nails will suffer.

Wow i never ever knew that!

& i never feel confident enough to chime in when someone wants help reggie bulding, afterall i'm a noob at this hair care thing.
but i find 'tha juice' works for my hair, and a lot of other ladies swear by it too
carefreecurl gold is what i use and my hair loves it

 

[indarican]

So many questions;

1. Have you ever clarified? I notice that if I constantly change the products I use on my hair and don't clarify, my hair ends up being super dry and dull looking. It's best to start fresh and clarify with a good clarifying shampoo to strip your hair of all the product buildup it might have, then the products can actually work it's way through the cuticle. I clarified once in the past couple of months but that was involved with my setback so i dont know if my hair particularly cared for that.

2. Do you use heat products on a regular basis? If so, STOP. If you want to deep condition, try doing it overnight without the use of heat. Put a plastic cap over your hair with the DC and call it a night. I havent been but for the past month and some change, i blow dry and flatiron between once and twice a month.

3. Are you covering your hair with a silk or satin scarf / bonnet at night? If you aren't, that could be the number one culprit in your hair breakage issues. The constant rubbing of your hair on moisture depleating fabric like cottong pillows or blankets with have your hair snap, crackle and popping of your head! I have a satin pillow case the scarf never stays on my head

4. Do you stretch your relaxers? Using constant chemicals will eventually weaken the hair strand if you don't give your hair a break from time to time. even though it's recommended you wait 6 to 8 weeks to get a touch up, I say the longer, the better. When I was relaxed, I streched my relaxers for at least 4 months. Im trying to transition right now

5. Do you do protective styles? Rollersets, buns, braids twists, bantu knots and cornrows are all forms of protective styles that are the key towards retaining length. Wearing your hair out (WNGs, flat ironing, wraps etc) should be a treat. You should be protective styling at least half of the week. I protective style I'd say about 6 days out the week. Once you get to your hair goals, then you can wear it out more often, but of course use precaution. everything in moderation. My hair is usually in buns

6. What is the density of your hair (fine, medium, thick, course)? I notice that hair density is more important than hair type since a fine haired lady might not be able to get away with hair styling options that a thick, course haired lady can do. If you have fine hair, high heat (BKT, Blowouts), relaxing, and sometimes even transitioning can eventually lead to breakage. Going natural is the best option for fine haired ladies because it gives your fragile hair strands the best chance to remain healthy and to retain all the hair that you grow. Of course I can't force anyone to stop unhealthy hair practices, but it's the best advice I can give from experience. I know my hair is coarse, I dont know if its fine or thick, never had nothing to compare it to

7. Do you drink enough water and watch your diet? If not, up your intake of water and eat healthier foods. Water is the best natural moisturizer for hair. Also, taking care of you overall heath is important as well. Remember that hair, and nails are the LAST things your body gives nutrients to, so if you're not taking care of your body and giving it the nutrients it needs, your hair and nails will suffer.I try to drink two liters of water a day

8. Are you constantly under stress? If so, you're not only causing excessive hair breakage and shedding, you're overall physical and mental health is at stake. Try to take out some time out the week for yourself to keep the amount of stress in your life at bay. Whether it's meditating, praying, doing yoga / pilates, taking a nice bubble bath, reading a good book or a day at the spa, or writing in a diary/ journal / blog. it's a necessity to take care of your well being. I am in school and i work, i do have some stress but im sure that it is much less then others

9. Keep it simple. That statement may be the most important of them all. Once taking care of your hair starts feeling like a chore, then you need to take a step back and simplify your regemin. Becoming a product junkie not only makes you waste money, it hinders your ability to narrow down what works for your hair and what doesn't. Using a product for only a week, then changing to another product will not help you to find a staple product. Try one product out for at least a month before determining whether it will become a staple product. If it works for your hair, STICK WITH IT! Growing hair to its greatest length doesn't happen overnight. for any of us, it takes a whole lot of patience, discipline and determination. Keep your regemin simple and learn what's best for you and your hair, and your hair will be the longest and healthiest its ever been!

Hope that helps

My answers in red. Thank you for all your input.

 

[QBOE2001]

OK lemme see if this sums it up:
(1) you use ors weekly (a light protein), aphoghee bi weekly (a heavy protein), and seal with EVCO (mild protein).
(2) you are relaxed and you have color
(3) you use cones
(4) you find little broken hairs regularly.

Have you considered
(1) using a different oil to seal
(2) eliminating the cones from your regimen
(3) using an organic coloring agent like henna or indigo
(4) stop deep conditioning with protein (ors and aphoghee) until your moisture balance has been established? replace those two with a moisturizing deep conditioner instead.
(5) clarifying to remove possible cone build-up?

Maybe you could try a couple of the above and see if that helps you some.

 

[Eritreladiee]

@ lovenharmony

That was an awesome post! Thanks for taking the time to write that out.

 

[hairmaster]

What are you using to hold you bun? how tight do you make it. how often do you redo your' bun.
Satin pillow cases if you can't keep a scarf or bonnet on.

 

[SingBrina]

Its both, i havent colored for almost 4 months and have no need to ever do it again, the last time i relaxed was in july, trying to transition.

Perhaps its your relaxer!!! I relaxed my hair and I'm having breakage, its calming now, I over processed

 

[SingBrina]

Another thing, coloring hair and relaxing just don't mix... I did that once and my hair started breaking off like crazy... now I just relax.... but ill start getting my relaxers professionally now.

 

[Chantelle09]

You can do it! We all know you can!!!!

 

[LaFemmeNaturelle]

OK lemme see if this sums it up:
(1) you use ors weekly (a light protein), aphoghee bi weekly (a heavy protein), and seal with EVCO (mild protein).
(2) you are relaxed and you have color
(3) you use cones
(4) you find little broken hairs regularly.

Have you considered
(1) using a different oil to seal
(2) eliminating the cones from your regimen
(3) using an organic coloring agent like henna or indigo
(4) stop deep conditioning with protein (ors and aphoghee) until your moisture balance has been established? replace those two with a moisturizing deep conditioner instead.
(5) clarifying to remove possible cone build-up?

Maybe you could try a couple of the above and see if that helps you some.

Just wanted to quickly say that the aphogee 2 min reconstructor is not a heavy protein. The 2 step is the heavy protein. And coconut oil does not have protein at all.

Tis all

 

[geejay]

Since you are using cones in your regimen, I would suggest clarifying more regularly (4-6 weeks). Just be sure to give yourself a good conditioning treatment after the clarify. It's one of those overlooked, but really helpful steps especially when you are experimenting with lots of products or using products that have ingredients that coat the hair.

Also, if you have damaged hair like me, it will take some time to settle down. I've greatly reduced my breakage, but I still have more than many of the posters with healthy hair experience. My hair is just weaker at multiple points on the hair shaft and I will have to grow those over-processed areas out.

 

[godzchildtoo]

Hello Ladies! I am a newbie, but had to jump in on this one. Indarican, I totally feel you. I have been transitioning since March and have had so much breakage and difficulty with my hair that I it brought me to tears. It broke off so much in my crown that I had to cut it to shoulder length because the length had thinned out so much. This is the shortest my hair has EVER BEEN IN MY LIFE, but I am hanging in there. I have gotten so tired of long strands of hair coming out every time I comb my hair and going to the shop and having someone say "what happened right here?" Not only that, but I can barely do a ponytail now and it's puffy in the top and I can't find a good brush...I could go on. And even though I don't know much, let me share what I can:

1) You have to moisturize from the inside and hair takes a long time to catch up. I didn't drink water either (before), so my hair was soaking up every little thing I put on it. It was always thirsty. So keep drinking plenty of water, but understand it's going to take a while for your hair to be moisturized from within. I'd say 6-9 months of internal water replenishment.

2) The Bun - Because I didn't want to wear wigs or weaves or braids, I do a ponytail every day. I don't have the length for a bun, but I wrap my ends around. Although I paid a lot of attention to keeping my ends moisturized, I skipped the line of demarcation. That's right where my new growth meets the old permed hair. And so every time I put a ponytail in and try to pull it tight and smooth, it weakened that hair. And sure enough that is wear my breakage is when I stand all my hair up, that's why I wasn't/am not retaining length.

3) Different grades of hair - I have 2 different grades of hair; one around my head and a totally different one at the top, right in the middle. So once I realized that, I knew which area needed more attention.

So, since it sounds like we have some of the same frustrations, I'll tell you a couple of things that worked for me:

1) ORS Replenishing Pak - Sounds like you're already using this, but OMG my hair feels totally different after this and nothing is a better detangler! I can't use it every week, but it's a keeper in my regimen.
2) Minimal washing and combing - This is against some rules, but until my hair gets stronger it's what I have to do. I don't wash every day. Honestly, I wash as little as possible and try to keep as much product out of my hair as possible. So, maybe once every 2 weeks, I wet and wash my hair and do all the phases (shampoo, deep conditioner w/cap, aphogee 2 minute, balancing moisturizer, leave-in, moisturizer and seal). I brush down my ponytail (yes, I brush wet hair) and tie it down with a scarf. The brushing may be bad, but I have to lay my edges down.
3) Leaving conditioner in - Once I've done my weekly wash, I don't comb my hair anymore for that week. What I do is take the ponytail down, saturate my hair with a cheap conditioner at night, clip into a bun with the flat clips that look like barrettes, tie a strip over my edges, cover with a plastic cap and satin cap overnight. In the morning, I put oil or moisturizer (I like almond oil or Carol's Daughter hair balm) on my edges and right where the ponytail is going to go. My hair is usually still moist/damp and easy to slick down. Then I make my ponytail and off I go. The next night, I repeat this without every washing the conditioner out. I don't know why, but this seems to be helping my hair grow back and keeping it moist. Now, I'll admit, I have to shampoo about 3 times before I get suds, but my hair doesn't feel heavy during the week.
4) Moisturizing vs. Daily washing - I used to ROCK the wet ponytail. My hair is naturally wavy and so I thought it looked so cute. Little did I know...I cannot wash everyday. So if my hair gets rough in between my weekly washing, I saturate it with leave-in (mine is Infusium 23, which I don't like) and moisturize. And for me, the moisturizer has to be a cream, not an oil. I've had good results with Herbal Essences Long Term Relationship and am adjusting to Cantu Shea Butter, but I still haven't found my signature moisturizer.

Phew! Sorry for the length, but I truly understand and hope this helps.

 

[makeupvixen]

Oh wow honey, you know we are all here for you. Don't worry we all go through this.

My hair grows slow and only grows seasonally. I had to get a consultation by naturals to find out about this. It's so hard for me because I feel like I am doing everything right and using the same things that the ladies here are using. But honey everyones hair is different, and so is yours. Dont be discouraged, we are all here for each other.

I have gone through shedding, breakage, stalling, protective styling, reading books, homemade concotions, everything under the moon and on this side of the Mississippi. Honey it's not you, your hair is growing. We just need to get you to retaining some length.

Dont stress out about it, that will make is worse. I am here along with you. Maybe you can get with a natural hair group to talk to in person. I'm in Los Angeles and I'm a member of 2 groups on meetup.com and one group is meeting soon on curlynikki.com. Maybe some ladies in your area can plain a small gathering and you can share stories.

If it's still too hard for you then you can always see a dermatologist. One of my dear friends has calosis on his head and makes his hair grow grey, since he was 10 years old but at least he found help for it.

Get some rest, we are here for you sweetie. You can reach me on any board under makeupvixen if you want to talk.

 

[I Am So Blessed]

hey indarican!!, sorry this is happening to you, but i think i see the problem. you need a moisturizer. qp and oil are not good moisturizers. my hair would fall out if i used qp and oil only. DC's help but still you need a moisturizer with a kick. try scurl or care free curl (or any glycerin products).

well my reggie has changed so much because as soon as I think something is working my hair starts falling out/or breaking off. I started my hair care journey with cowashing and wet bunning. This didnt work my hair doesnt like to be wet for some reason.
around the end of march i tried dry bunning and dcing once a week. i would moisturize with qp mango butter and seal with EVOO or Coconut oil. once again my hair broke off.
Then around may i tried the co washin and DCing once a week then roller setting, left my hair incredible dry and always craving some type of moisture.
Now at july i have decided that i will try and transition or at least stretch for a while, have been using ORS replenishing conditioner for weekly DCs and moisturize with ORS Olive Oil moisturizer seal with COconut oil. I changed to this last one after a horrendous set back after using a protien not washing it out all the way (i think) which caused me to end up with 4 areas on my head that had broken all the way down to almost the new growth..(got maybe 2 inches of hair in these areas).

 

[CherryCherryBoomBoom]

Hey, you're not alone in this boat . I have exactly the same problem, except I've been at it for over two years now . I don't really know what else to suggest, maybe keep going, and improve or change what you think needs improving in your regimen.

 

[LovingLady]

Indarican, I am sorry that you are going through this. I think the problem lies in the fact that you are transitioning. For certain women, they can only go "X" amount of weeks without a relaxer, after a certain point in time their hair starts to break.

 

[BillsBackerz67]

I suggest just slowly trimming away the damaged colored/relaxed hair. Usually I never tell people this but at this point it seems like you are focusing on caring for and spending money on products on hair that MIGHT be damaged beyond repair. So the products you are buying might prolong the breakage but eventually the hair just gives out and breaks. I think once that damaged hair is mostly gone you will start to see better progress.

 

[MissLawyerLady]

Stay encouraged! You will get there!

 

[gadgetdiva]

Hey there Indarican we're here to help you out! I understand your frustration.
Everyone here has excellent solutions...I recently was experiencing a lot of breakage until I adopted natural ceramides into my regimen and I can say that I no longer have any breakage like I was experiencing before.
I stayed away from SLS poos, I was moisturizing with the Elasta QP Mango Butter, making sure to do protein treatments, wearing my silk scarf pretty much all day (since I'm home a lot) and I didn't understand why so much breakage until I read about the importance of ceramides here on the forum
I use Wheat Germ Oil added to my Lustrasilk Olive Oil Cholesterol, its cone free (both inexpensive and are a life saver) as a DC, saran wrap or plastic cap it then sit under the hooded dryer for 35 minutes is wonderful! I also use the WGO as a pre-poo to my co-wash. Its been about a week for me so far and no breakage. My hair is retaining moisture, its soft and silky as well.
But don't forget to clarify, Aubrey Organics has an SLS free clarifying poo.

I also bought some GVP Compared to Redken AntiSnap leave in because I don't want to go back down that road.

Keep your head up and grow grow grow!

 

[curlyninjagirl]

ITA with BillBackers67. This much breakage (enough to keep you at the same length) comes from 2 things you mentioned: Overprocessed hair and protein overload. In my past experiences with relaxed hair, overprocessed hair plus buns is the equivalent of a haircut. It's too much tension for weakened strands.

I've seen all types of hair damaged from coloring, it causes dryness that is beyond repair. It sometimes looks as if it cannot absorb/retain water. (I've seen the same thing with relaxers.)

Sorry. I know how frustrating this is; it's one of the reasons I gave up chemical processes all together, the results are too unpredictable. Good luck.

 

[SingBrina]

I suggest just slowly trimming away the damaged colored/relaxed hair. Usually I never tell people this but at this point it seems like you are focusing on caring for and spending money on products on hair that MIGHT be damaged beyond repair. So the products you are buying might prolong the breakage but eventually the hair just gives out and breaks. I think once that damaged hair is mostly gone you will start to see better progress.

I agreeeeeeee!!!!!

 

[indarican]

Thank you all for your input and please keep it coming!!!... I went to the BSS and went through every single conditioner they had and all of them either had cones or loads of alcohol. I read on the site that alcohol is bad for you, now for you guys i hear that the cones may be the problem. So do yall suggest that i switch to a conditioner that has the alcohol. Wouldnt that make my hair dryer?

Is cholestorol treatments protien or moisturizer???

Thank you all again for your input.

 

[indarican]

ITA with BillBackers67. This much breakage (enough to keep you at the same length) comes from 2 things you mentioned: Overprocessed hair and protein overload. In my past experiences with relaxed hair, overprocessed hair plus buns is the equivalent of a haircut. It's too much tension for weakened strands.

I've seen all types of hair damaged from coloring, it causes dryness that is beyond repair. It sometimes looks as if it cannot absorb/retain water. (I've seen the same thing with relaxers.)

Sorry. I know how frustrating this is; it's one of the reasons I gave up chemical processes all together, the results are too unpredictable. Good luck.

I havent colored my hair for a couple of months and when i was coloring my hair it wasnt a constant thing, i think i may have colored my hair about 6 times in 5 years but the colors i did chose were bright, blonds and light browns so i know i did considerable amounts of damage. My thing is i was hoping that it would get a little better since i stopped. no such luck.

 

[indarican]

Hey there Indarican we're here to help you out! I understand your frustration.
Everyone here has excellent solutions...I recently was experiencing a lot of breakage until I adopted natural ceramides into my regimen and I can say that I no longer have any breakage like I was experiencing before.
I stayed away from SLS poos, I was moisturizing with the Elasta QP Mango Butter, making sure to do protein treatments, wearing my silk scarf pretty much all day (since I'm home a lot) and I didn't understand why so much breakage until I read about the importance of ceramides here on the forum
I use Wheat Germ Oil added to my Lustrasilk Olive Oil Cholesterol, its cone free (both inexpensive and are a life saver) as a DC, saran wrap or plastic cap it then sit under the hooded dryer for 35 minutes is wonderful! I also use the WGO as a pre-poo to my co-wash. Its been about a week for me so far and no breakage. My hair is retaining moisture, its soft and silky as well.
But don't forget to clarify, Aubrey Organics has an SLS free clarifying poo.

I also bought some GVP Compared to Redken AntiSnap leave in because I don't want to go back down that road.

Keep your head up and grow grow grow!

Is the cholestorol a protien or moisturizing treatment?

 

[indarican]

I suggest just slowly trimming away the damaged colored/relaxed hair. Usually I never tell people this but at this point it seems like you are focusing on caring for and spending money on products on hair that MIGHT be damaged beyond repair. So the products you are buying might prolong the breakage but eventually the hair just gives out and breaks. I think once that damaged hair is mostly gone you will start to see better progress.

Thank you for your input but i really hope that is not the case since that means im not gonna have any hair on my head.... ugh!

 

[indarican]

hey indarican!!, sorry this is happening to you, but i think i see the problem. you need a moisturizer. qp and oil are not good moisturizers. my hair would fall out if i used qp and oil only. DC's help but still you need a moisturizer with a kick. try scurl or care free curl (or any glycerin products).

Hey adora, just wanted to let you know that you are one of my hair idols!! thank you for your input and i was using the juice for a bit i started with hawaiian silky but it seem to break off my hair, so i switched to wave neavou(SP) and it seem like my hair was just laughin at me.

 

[lovely_locks]

This is what keep sm y hair moisturized. After I co wash (which is daily) I put in a few handfulls (I have naturally dry dry DRY hair) of Infusium 23 moisturizer, and seal with Doo Gro oil. I don't use cocaonut oil at all. It dries my hair. I know so many girls swear by it. It just proves that what works for everyone may not work for you. I use HE Hello Hydraition conditioner. I also DC once to twice a week. I also hot oil at the same time as my DC. I mix HE Hello Hydraition, doo gro oil an dhoney and slather it on my hair. I don't have a steamer so I put on my shower cap nice and tight, and exercise to heat up my head lol! And every now and then i'll use castor oil (not hte black castor oil just regular castor oil) and shea butter.

 

[Hairsnob]

Sorry you're going through this. I didn't read this whole thread but when I saw that you mentioned you used ORS weekly I wanted to chime in on that. ORS is a GREAT for a DC but I would NOT use it weekly. I love it because it makes my hair feel like heaven but I use it in rotation where one week is a moisture DC and one week is ORS. When I first started using it I loved it so much that I started using it weekly. I had my first setback and I still don't know 100% if that was the cause but I believe so. So I'm back to rotating it and my hair is loving it. I also clarify every other wash.

HTH! And Hugs!!

Good luck on that!

ETA: I also had problems where my hair seemed to hate moisture. I would comb my hair with my fingers when dry and not get any shed hairs. Then I'd comb it the same way when it's wet and my hand would be full of hairs. So I was afraid to wet it so I know what you mean. I'm also a weekly heat user so I use a lot of cones. The only leave-in I love now is HE LTR. I can even use it after flat-ironing and it doesn't revert but still feels moisturzied..... somehow. Don't know HOW it works that way but it does. But keep in mind that I clarify every other week.

 

[gadgetdiva]

Is the cholestorol a protien or moisturizing treatment?

Its a moisturizing treatment.

 

[indarican]

well i guess i can start using my cholestorol as a DC one week and the ORS as a DC the next. I really hope this helps, i have never had any healthy hair below SL ever in my life, Im tired of seeing my hair wash down the drain so I really hope this works.

will a clarifying conditioner do the same thing as a clarifying shampoo?

 

[Hairsnob]

well i guess i can start using my cholestorol as a DC one week and the ORS as a DC the next. I really hope this helps, i have never had any healthy hair below SL ever in my life, Im tired of seeing my hair wash down the drain so I really hope this works.

will a clarifying conditioner do the same thing as a clarifying shampoo?

I never heard of a clarifying conditioner. The clarifying shampoo is important to remove the build-up from other products. That way your hair will take the conditioner better. So a clarifying conditioner probably would be defeating its own purpose. That build-up of product (especially ORS) could cause breakage eventually because it can block out moisture.

ETA: Don't use the clarifying shampoo each time. Start off with maybe once a month or every other wash. But it all depends on how much product you use. I use a lot of cones so I have to clarify every other week. If you use it too much it can dry your hair out.