Hair Depression... Sniffle Sniffle

[indarican]

Hey ladies, Just a quick hair tantrum.

So i have been on LHCF for a little while but didnt really start taking care of my hair until January of this year. I have brought so many different products, tried so many different methods and still nothing. I am still shoulder length, im just so frustrated because i really wanted to be APL by december and the way its going thats definetly not gonna happen. I just get so upset when i see update pics by people like dlewis, adoradora, reecie, and so so many others. it seems like everyones hair is growing but mine. I am trying so so so hard and it doesnt seem like im getting any type of reward. Just so frustrated!!

So fellow LHCF'ers help a sister out, once again tell me what i am doing wrong, words of encouragement, anything!!!

 

[LaFemmeNaturelle]

I know it's frustrating and looking and others' progress can be a bit discouraging. Can you share your regimen and any changes you've made throughout the year so we can help you. TIA!


ETA: Include all styles, products....EVERYTHING. Include how often you manipulate your hair (comb everyday?)

 

[lea86111]

also can you tell us if you see lots of broken hair pieces? Cause it's either the hair is breaking @ the same rate it's growing or it's growing very slowly (but i doubt it) don't discourage!

 

[lovenharmony]

I agree with LaFemmeNatural Share your regimen with us. Just simpe changes in it can make all the difference. I know it's sometimes frustrating to not see any progress, but we're all in this journey together!

 

[NikkiGirl]

Once you list your reggie, You should get some great suggestions on how to tweak it.

 

[indarican]

I know it's frustrating and looking and others' progress can be a bit discouraging. Can you share your regimen and any changes you've made throughout the year so we can help you. TIA!

well my reggie has changed so much because as soon as I think something is working my hair starts falling out/or breaking off. I started my hair care journey with cowashing and wet bunning. This didnt work my hair doesnt like to be wet for some reason.
around the end of march i tried dry bunning and dcing once a week. i would moisturize with qp mango butter and seal with EVOO or Coconut oil. once again my hair broke off.
Then around may i tried the co washin and DCing once a week then roller setting, left my hair incredible dry and always craving some type of moisture.
Now at july i have decided that i will try and transition or at least stretch for a while, have been using ORS replenishing conditioner for weekly DCs and moisturize with ORS Olive Oil moisturizer seal with COconut oil. I changed to this last one after a horrendous set back after using a protien not washing it out all the way (i think) which caused me to end up with 4 areas on my head that had broken all the way down to almost the new growth..(got maybe 2 inches of hair in these areas).

 

[indarican]

also can you tell us if you see lots of broken hair pieces? Cause it's either the hair is breaking @ the same rate it's growing or it's growing very slowly (but i doubt it) don't discourage!

Its definetly broken pieces.

 

[ms.blue]

I believe you should not compare your growth process with anyone else. With that said, has your hair grown and retain any length since january? If so, wonderful if not, why do you think is the problem (over manipulation, little or no protectives styles, trimming too much or little, tight braids or buns). I believe its best to give short term goals like for ex. growing and maintaining 1-2 inches in 4 month (depending on your growth cycle) instead longer term goals of sl to bsl in a year. I hope I explained myself well.

 

[indarican]

I know it's frustrating and looking and others' progress can be a bit discouraging. Can you share your regimen and any changes you've made throughout the year so we can help you. TIA!


ETA: Include all styles, products....EVERYTHING. Include how often you manipulate your hair (comb everyday?)

I try not to comb every day, but the front of my hair is so jacked up with short broken hairs if i dont at least combs or pass a brush the fly aways are ridicuolous. when i bun i use the mesh donut since i dont have enough hair to do a decent bun. I have tried braid outs and it was horrid since im not a good braider. basically my hair is either out or in a bun.

 

[indarican]

my hair grows, i can tell by the new growth, i just cant keep it on my head. I havent retained anything. i trimmed my hair once since january and it was blunt but has sinced thinned out all over again due to the breakage and shedding

 

[NikkiGirl]

Hmm. Maybe too much protein. That is the only thing I can think of. Did you try focusing more on moisture and see if that helped at all. The other thing you can try is maybe co-washing more often. If you hair is just dry, it will break. How often do you moisturize?

 

[indarican]

Hmm. Maybe too much protein. That is the only thing I can think of. Did you try focusing more on moisture and see if that helped at all.

I was using the mango butter everyday. and now Im using the ORS moisturizing oil. Nothing. I have even upped my water intake to 2+ liters a day. thats a miracle for me.

 

[LaFemmeNaturelle]

Are you using the mango butter on dry hair? I'm not sure because I've never used it but I thought that was an oil based product and not water based.

When you tried co-washing, were you maintaining a balance and using both moisture based and protein based conditioners?

ORS replenishing is a light protein so it may be too much protein for you to use weekly. Also, maybe ORS lotion just isn't a good product for you. Have you ever tried baggying?

 

[NikkiGirl]

Mango Butter is water based, but my hair hated that stuff. I actually threw away a whole container almost. Is your hair colored/relaxed. Just wondering?

 

[indarican]

Are you using the mango butter on dry hair? I'm not sure because I've never used it but I thought that was an oil based product and not water based.

When you tried co-washing, were you maintaining a balance and using both moisture based and protein based conditioners?

I would use the Mango butter on mostly dry hair.
I tried cowashing with both... more moisturizing conditioner though, DPR-11 QP Conditioner, and maybe like once every 2 weeks i would condtion with Aphogee reconstructer.

 

[LaFemmeNaturelle]

Oh I just looked up the ingredients for the mango butter. It has cones and I think the ORS has cones as well. Have you ever tried a cone free regimen? How often do you actually shampoo and are you using a sulfate poo? The cones COULD be drying your hair out. MY hair does much much better in retaining moisture when I don't use cones.

ETA: Moisturizing on dry hair has NEVER worked for ME. And I've tried a bunch of leave-ins and moisturizers. I only use leave-ins when I actually wash my hair or when I'm lazy, I'll spritz with water and then apply my leave ins.

 

[indarican]

Mango Butter is water based, but my hair hated that stuff. I actually threw away a whole container almost. Is your hair colored/relaxed. Just wondering?

Its both, i havent colored for almost 4 months and have no need to ever do it again, the last time i relaxed was in july, trying to transition.

 

[LaFemmeNaturelle]

Since you had both relaxed hair and color, it could be that your hair is so damaged from before you started your HHJ, that it's going to break off no matter what you do because it is so weak. IDK I hope others come with their ideas.

 

[NikkiGirl]

The only reason I asked about the color is when I was relaxed and colored my hair was always breaking. Then my hair was always around APL, but I would see little pieces of broken hair everywhere. My hair even fell out in the front where my highlights were and they were done by a professional. Maybe your hair can't be double processed. Some people's hair can take it and others just cannot. My hair never failed to drop when it was colored.

 

[indarican]

Oh I just looked up the ingredients for the mango butter. It has cones and I think the ORS has cones as well. Have you ever tried a cone free regimen? How often do you actually shampoo and are you using a sulfate poo? The cones COULD be drying your hair out. MY hair does much much better in retaining moisture when I don't use cones.

ETA: Moisturizing on dry hair has NEVER worked for ME. And I've tried a bunch of leave-ins and moisturizers. I only use leave-ins when I actually wash my hair or when I'm lazy, I'll spritz with water and then apply my leave ins.

when i do shampoo which is not often i use the herbal essances hello hydration. I was unaware the ORS had cones...

 

[indarican]

The only reason I asked about the color is when I was relaxed and colored my hair was always breaking. Then my hair was always around APL, but I would see little pieces of broken hair everywhere. My hair even fell out in the front where my highlights were and they were done by a professional. Maybe your hair can't be double processed. Some people's hair can take it and others just cannot. My hair never failed to drop when it was colored.

How long did you have to wait for your hair to stop falling after you stopped double processing? Did you have to wait for it to grow out completely or just a little while?

 

[NikkiGirl]

LaFemme might be on to something with the Cones. Maybe your hair hates them, and I also don't moisturize on dry hair. I only moisturize wet or damp.

 

[NikkiGirl]

I stopped coloring and I will say it wasn't immediate. The first thing I realized was that my hair was damaged. So I babied it. I didn't use any heat. Heat will make the fallout worse. I starting co-washing and using more moisture and I did a cut. I saw result within the first three months on the ends not breaking after the cut. The hair that fell out in the front was so short, I didn't see results for at least six months. I just had to grow out, but it didn't continue to drop.

ETA: This was supposed to be a quote. This isn't the first time this hasn't worked on the new site.

 

[C@ssandr@]

Sounds like cones might be the issue. I built my regimen by using the products that are on the more natural side. This way the results were predictable. If i use a moisturizing oil and my hair was still breaking then I'd know I definitely needed protein. For me, when I have a product with a multitude of ingredients it's hard to tell who or what the culprit is...and that goes for whether the outcome is good or bad.

Here's a hug. I've been feeling a little anxious myself because I'm getting alot of breakage as well. Mine is from a lack of protein though :/

 

[indarican]

Any good suggestions for cone free DC's?

 

[lea86111]

does your hair FEEL moisturized after you use your moisturizing products? Maybe you just need to keep searching for that one product that makes your hair feel good, cause just cause the product says it moisturizes it doesn't necessarily mean it'll do just that for you. Also what i did when my hair was breaking all over the place was braid it up/hide it for like 3 months (after many cuts, protein dc's and moisturizing dc's) and when i unveiled my hair it wasn't breaking anymore...kathy howse said to give your hair a break, maybe that's what you need.

 

[indarican]

does your hair FEEL moisturized after you use your moisturizing products? Maybe you just need to keep searching for that one product that makes your hair feel good, cause just cause the product says it moisturizes it doesn't necessarily mean it'll do just that for you. Also what i did when my hair was breaking all over the place was braid it up/hide it for like 3 months (after many cuts, protein dc's and moisturizing dc's) and when i unveiled my hair it wasn't breaking anymore...kathy howse said to give your hair a break, maybe that's what you need.

As much as i would love to do that I defiently cant put any type of exstension or weave in my hair as much as i want to, even wigs give me problems. So I would have to braid my own hair and honestly i just dont have the cash to keep going to the palor and having it braided every week. So either i braid it myself (i fail painfully everytime) or thats not a possibility, i try to leave it alone with buns but that didnt work.

 

[LaFemmeNaturelle]

I don't DC so I can't say how well these products work as "DCs" but here are some that I know:

Giovanni products are cone free
Aubrey Organics (most popular are honeysuckle rose and white camellia)
Trader Joe's Nourish Spa (same ingredients as giovanni smooth as silk)

Here's a list of cone free conditioners
http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=196051

Of course you don't want to be a pj so maybe search around for reviews. I've heard great things about the Giovanni and Aubrey Organics.

 

[lovenharmony]

So many questions;

1. Have you ever clarified? I notice that if I constantly change the products I use on my hair and don't clarify, my hair ends up being super dry and dull looking. It's best to start fresh and clarify with a good clarifying shampoo to strip your hair of all the product buildup it might have, then the products can actually work it's way through the cuticle.

2. Do you use heat products on a regular basis? If so, STOP. If you want to deep condition, try doing it overnight without the use of heat. Put a plastic cap over your hair with the DC and call it a night.

3. Are you covering your hair with a silk or satin scarf / bonnet at night? If you aren't, that could be the number one culprit in your hair breakage issues. The constant rubbing of your hair on moisture depleating fabric like cottong pillows or blankets with have your hair snap, crackle and popping of your head!

4. Do you stretch your relaxers? Using constant chemicals will eventually weaken the hair strand if you don't give your hair a break from time to time. even though it's recommended you wait 6 to 8 weeks to get a touch up, I say the longer, the better. When I was relaxed, I streched my relaxers for at least 4 months.

5. Do you do protective styles? Rollersets, buns, braids twists, bantu knots and cornrows are all forms of protective styles that are the key towards retaining length. Wearing your hair out (WNGs, flat ironing, wraps etc) should be a treat. You should be protective styling at least half of the week. I protective style I'd say about 6 days out the week. Once you get to your hair goals, then you can wear it out more often, but of course use precaution. everything in moderation.

6. What is the density of your hair (fine, medium, thick, course)? I notice that hair density is more important than hair type since a fine haired lady might not be able to get away with hair styling options that a thick, course haired lady can do. If you have fine hair, high heat (BKT, Blowouts), relaxing, and sometimes even transitioning can eventually lead to breakage. Going natural is the best option for fine haired ladies because it gives your fragile hair strands the best chance to remain healthy and to retain all the hair that you grow. Of course I can't force anyone to stop unhealthy hair practices, but it's the best advice I can give from experience.

7. Do you drink enough water and watch your diet? If not, up your intake of water and eat healthier foods. Water is the best natural moisturizer for hair. Also, taking care of you overall heath is important as well. Remember that hair, and nails are the LAST things your body gives nutrients to, so if you're not taking care of your body and giving it the nutrients it needs, your hair and nails will suffer.

8. Are you constantly under stress? If so, you're not only causing excessive hair breakage and shedding, you're overall physical and mental health is at stake. Try to take out some time out the week for yourself to keep the amount of stress in your life at bay. Whether it's meditating, praying, doing yoga / pilates, taking a nice bubble bath, reading a good book or a day at the spa, or writing in a diary/ journal / blog. it's a necessity to take care of your well being.

9. Keep it simple. That statement may be the most important of them all. Once taking care of your hair starts feeling like a chore, then you need to take a step back and simplify your regemin. Becoming a product junkie not only makes you waste money, it hinders your ability to narrow down what works for your hair and what doesn't. Using a product for only a week, then changing to another product will not help you to find a staple product. Try one product out for at least a month before determining whether it will become a staple product. If it works for your hair, STICK WITH IT! Growing hair to its greatest length doesn't happen overnight. for any of us, it takes a whole lot of patience, discipline and determination. Keep your regemin simple and learn what's best for you and your hair, and your hair will be the longest and healthiest its ever been!

Hope that helps

 

[FearfullyMade]

Have you tried hiding your hair PS? KISS and give your hair a rest.