When you reach your hair goals will you become uppity?

[PistolWhip]

Hi..... I'm PistolWhip and I'm a uppity negro but real spit.......I will have spent alot of time,money and alot of energy to reach my goal(which I am no where near) so on one hand I will appear uppity however if I can enlighten or assist anyone who wants to know about my struggle with my crowning glory then I will gladly break it down....whew I just said a mouthful

 

[wish4length]

When you reach your hair goals will you express that your journey and journey was simplistic when you honestly know that it was a struggle?

When you reach your hair goals will you come to the other threads and give bsl and lower encouragement just because?

When you reach your hair goals will you look down on others that are not at the point you are?

1. NOT AT ALL! I'm not there yet, but I think I will express how easy it is once you know your regimen and how to take care of your hair.....

2. I'll encourage anyone who needs it

3. Not at all. I would try to figure out what they were doing wrong to see if I could help.


I have people to this day that come to me wanting advice because they see that my hair has grown since I had a TWA and I just shrug them off because they didn't listen to me when I had a TWA.

 

[nappystorm]

Yes maam. Imma be a swanging b!!ch

 

[grow]

Sorry Grow I was busy homie, LOL! (kIdding) YOU CHEATING ON ME! I thought I was your only morning buddy!

Honestly I answer all questions and help. I love to up lift my sisters in real life and on LHCF.

And that is sad that they never replied

JJ, you know you are the hair queen!!!

i wasn't sneaking on the side (hehehe!), no cheating around at all, just kind of "polling" what works with different products we all use.

i have got to hand it to you, you are one of the FABULOUS people on here, and thank goodness, the list of lovely ladies like yourself, is LONG!

you are so very, very reliable, i sometimes even wonder how you have the patience with newbies like myself, lol! (remember when i didn't know what apl meant.....average peoples' length, lol!)

i am so thankful for this board and the people on it, who, like yourself, really are so helpful, kind and understanding.

Nonie, you are absolutely right! with all the PROOF of good intentions i have in the marvelous friendships i've developed with people on here, i must remember to give "the benifit of doubt".

the drool worthy haired ladies who are there for us all far outweigh any members who don't find the time, and hey, life is so full of many things, it takes compassion to understand that hair is not always at the top of the list for us all.

afterall, there is more to life than hair, right?

 

[soldierforhair]

But OP can you understand why some people may never return to this forum or may get bored with it? That you echoed your sentiments this late in the thread makes it seem like you really think there's more to it than has been shared. If that's so, I'm sorry you feel that way but I think you're wrong about people here.

Have you seen all the thought-provoking discussions that go on in other forums that can keep people there? If there's someone in particular you want to hear from, seriously, sending them a PM with a link to the thread you want answered may be all you need to do.

I don't know about in IRL but I feel like LadyRaider that it's almost a given that anyone on the forum is open to sharing. I've been here since 2003 and that's been my observation.

Nonie, I understand what you are saying and No this is not directed at any one. I have read what goes on in the off topic forums and yes it is quite intriguing.

For example, when a football or basketball player is born and raised in a city a lot of times he comes back and builds a youth league or recreational center to help the people that are growing up there still, but everyone that is born and raised there does not always come back. Does this make it right or wrong? I don't know and it's not for me to judge. I'm from Hampton, Virginia and to name a few Michael Vick and Allen Iverson they came back and built leagues, clubs, and recreational centers but everyone did not give back to the community. It takes more than just the same ones to make a change.

I believe it is the same thing within the LHCF and in real life. A lot of people have not figured it out and it takes more than the same few to make a difference. A lot of OP's just leave the forum all together because "they have lives." This is not directed at anyone in particular. But just as sure as I'm typing there are women that made it to Waist Length and beyond through LHCF and did not give back and just lurk. Some are probably reading what I am typing. Yeah we can say all they have to do is press SEARCH but personal contact is much more personal. In real life I have noticed that there are women that are upitty and not tell you anything and don't want you to be to where they are. But that is not for me to judge.

I am grateful for LHCF and everyone that I have met since I have been here because without it I would not be where I am today.

 

[LouLou1355]

Yyyyyyyyyeah...I'm feeling uneasy with all these generalizations.
I'm wondering if Quasimoto is typing all this up
I'm soooooooo kidding, but couldn't help it.
I'm ready for my spanking now.

I know right.... I had to read it again. You got me on that one!

It's Friday ladies, and I don't have any damn papers to type up! Hip Hip... Hooray!! Time to go to the weekend hair plan thread.

Oh and by the way, I am loving the drama on this thread. It's so boring in the office today.

PEACE, LOVE, AND HAIR GREASE, LHCF!!

 

[my-everything]

I believe it is the same thing within the LHCF and in real life. A lot of people have not figured it out and it takes more than the same few to make a difference. A lot of OP's just leave the forum all together because "they have lives." This is not directed at anyone in particular. But just as sure as I'm typing there are women that made it to Waist Length and beyond through LHCF and did not give back and just lurk. Some are probably reading what I am typing. Yeah we can say all they have to do is press SEARCH but personal contact is much more personal. In real life I have noticed that there are women that are upitty and not tell you anything and don't want you to be to where they are. But that is not for me to judge.

I am grateful for LHCF and everyone that I have met since I have been here because without it I would not be where I am today.

hey OP!! I found your opinion to be quite interesting but tbh, those who have reached wsl through lhcf are not obligated to dedicate 'their' time and effort into helping others for the simple fact that, at the end of the day it is up to you to take responsibility for 'YOUR' hair.

Sometimes we forget that there IS more to life than just hair. I mean, are you holding them responsible for others not reaching their goals???? So what if the OP's choose to leave, is your hair growing any slower as a consequense??are you struggling to retain anymore length because so and so does not post as frequently......... don't forget that reaching wsl does not automatically make anyone an expert on haircare.

I agree personal contact is better but with the countless amounts of youtube videos, hair articles, websites dedicated to hair care alone, why place all your hopes and energy on that one person!! Yes they may inspire you or whatever but no two heads are the same and it is totally unfair to point the finger at those who choose not to 'give' back.

OP, I may have misunderstood your post so please clarify

 

[JJamiah]

JJ, you know you are the hair queen!!!

i wasn't sneaking on the side (hehehe!), no cheating around at all, just kind of "polling" what works with different products we all use.

i have got to hand it to you, you are one of the FABULOUS people on here, and thank goodness, the list of lovely ladies like yourself, is LONG!

you are so very, very reliable, i sometimes even wonder how you have the patience with newbies like myself, lol! (remember when i didn't know what apl meant.....average peoples' length, lol!)

i am so thankful for this board and the people on it, who, like yourself, really are so helpful, kind and understanding.

Nonie, you are absolutely right! with all the PROOF of good intentions i have in the marvelous friendships i've developed with people on here, i must remember to give "the benifit of doubt".

the drool worthy haired ladies who are there for us all far outweigh any members who don't find the time, and hey, life is so full of many things, it takes compassion to understand that hair is not always at the top of the list for us all.

afterall, there is more to life than hair, right?

Your so right about this. Imagine how would me and You and half the other ladies on here ever have meant. MOST Of us know each other by the back of our heads LOLOLOLOL but we some how form a bond just the same

I like that. Not being judged by how I look or what I have, just by the back of my head (JK about the back of my head)

 

[Naturae]

When you reach your hair goals will you express that your journey and journey was simplistic when you honestly know that it was a struggle?
If you can't be honest with people then you don't deserve long hair! --My experience is a struggle, I'm 5 years deep in being natural and still learning more and more about how to reach my ultimate goal. I will share this info with anyone who would be willing to listen.
When you reach your hair goals will you come to the other threads and give bsl and lower encouragement just because?
If I happen to be on a thread and notice that someone needs encouragement, then at that point I have a responsibility to give it.
When you reach your hair goals will you look down on others that is not at the point where you are?
Absolutely not. Never forget where you came from!

 

[soldierforhair]

hey OP!! I found your opinion to be quite interesting but tbh, those who have reached wsl through lhcf are not obligated to dedicate 'their' time and effort into helping others for the simple fact that, at the end of the day it is up to you to take responsibility for 'YOUR' hair.

Sometimes we forget that there IS more to life than just hair. I mean, are you holding them responsible for others not reaching their goals???? So what if the OP's choose to leave, is your hair growing any slower as a consequense??are you struggling to retain anymore length because so and so does not post as frequently......... don't forget that reaching wsl does not automatically make anyone an expert on haircare.

I agree personal contact is better but with the countless amounts of youtube videos, hair articles, websites dedicated to hair care alone, why place all your hopes and energy on that one person!! Yes they may inspire you or whatever but no two heads are the same and it is totally unfair to point the finger at those who choose not to 'give' back.

OP, I may have misunderstood your post so please clarify

You are right absolutely right lady.

Hey lady I know and I'm not trying to change the world, just a matter of my own opinion. There are a lot of people on LHCF and they all are different. And no people are not obligated to give back. But can you imagine how hair care would be affected if everyone did on LHCF and IRL.

 

[awhyley]

Yes . . . (10 characters)

Yes maam. Imma be a swanging b!!ch

Thanks Nappystorm, couldn't say it any better myself!

ETA/ETA: In my haste, I didn't even read the first post!
I would help others, if they asked nicely, (but I'm still swangin my hurrrr).

 

[Miss_C]

Gosh I hope not. I hate when girls that have long hair are asked what they did to get it and they just look at you like .

Or they're like "I've always had long hair".

Might be because they are tired of answering questions whether they always had it or they had to learn to grow and retain, and think that ppl won't listen (Most won't).

Either way, I will try to give the best advice possible. To the people that watch me grow, the proof will be in the pudding.

 

[soldierforhair]

Gosh I hope not. I hate when girls that have long hair are asked what they did to get it and they just look at you like .

Or they're like "I've always had long hair".

Might be because they are tired of answering questions whether they always had it or they had to learn to grow and retain, and think that ppl won't listen (Most won't).

Either way, I will try to give the best advice possible. To the people that watch me grow, the proof will be in the pudding.

This is what I have observed also OP IRL. Most do think it's a lot of work.

 

[**SaSSy**]

When you reach your hair goals will you express that your journey and journey was simplistic when you honestly know that it was a struggle? I have already met my texlaxed hair goal of length which was a little bit past BSL and it was very difficult in the beginning due to jumping on bandwagons. But once I discovered a method that worked for me, it became easy.

When you reach your hair goals will you come to the other threads and give bsl and lower encouragement just because? Yes, and still do

When you reach your hair goals will you look down on others that is not at the point where you are? No, because that's very insensitive

My answers in red

 

[brg240]

Yes I did.

I know that I'm not a popularity contest or anything so I'm just going to say it.

I thinks its weird that everyone says that they are not uppidity or stuck up and willing to help but what I have observed in real life and some but less on the forum but there are a lot of long hair women on the forum and how many actually post on the hair forum. It is always the same women. And more so IRL from what I observe women are less likely to help each other. How many encourage others? How many think I reached my hair goals so I am going to stay in the off topic forums?

*** Runs for cover ***

I'll be honest I don't know tons about hair. I should probably come to the hair section more but mostly because I'm ignorant about a lot of things. Longer hair does not mean you're knowledgeable (at least in my case.) And since I started my hair journey I barely see a change in length. Not sure if I should give advice in the first place...

Also, I've mentioned this on this board before but I barely ever get comments about my hair. When I do it's generally older ladies at my church that go 'look at all that hair' or something similar. I get asked questions about it even less.

When I was younger I did but I really didn't know how to help you grow your hair. When asked I just told them I'd always had long hair/fam has long hair. I wasn't trying to be rude and definitely wasn't keeping any secrets because I didn't want your hair to grow. I just didn't know. But people thought I was uppity (i was really shy too.) It wasn't until a couple years ago I found out it was probably because of the constant protective styling that helped me maintain length.

Also, people ask a lot about different products in here but I only use conditioner and oil for the most part :/ This place reminds me of all the stuff I can't afford.

Hey, I live in Hampton, VA!

that's really nice, Nonie and i surely hope it's true. in your case, i'm sure it is!

but sadly, i can list several ladies (who will remain anonymous, for obvious reasons), who's hhj i admired and wrote to asking for their advice.

to this day (i've been here 7 months), i have yet to hear from these ladies.

I am guilty of doing that a couple of times. I totally forgot and then if I remembered so much time had passed or if it was asked in thread and I don't remember the thread. I wasn't trying to be rude, it's not like I didn't want to help I just honestly forgot If you ever sent me a message and I didn't respond I really am sorry

Gosh I hope not. I hate when girls that have long hair are asked what they did to get it and they just look at you like .

Or they're like "I've always had long hair".

Might be because they are tired of answering questions whether they always had it or they had to learn to grow and retain, and think that ppl won't listen (Most won't).

I'm sorry this was totally me I wasn't trying to be mean or anything or annoyed. But what else was I supposed to say. Now I know people think it's rude to say I've always had long hair so I just tell them I'm growing it out. :/

 

[hillytmj]

When you reach your hair goals will you express that your journey and journey was simplistic when you honestly know that it was a struggle? No, I will be honest and share my ups and downS.

When you reach your hair goals will you come to the other threads and give bsl and lower encouragement just because? I will if the thread requEsts that, but I currently co-host a newbie thread for relaxed heads and a lot of the ladies are APL and above.

When you reach your hair goals will you look down on others that is not at the point where you are? NO WAY! I laughed when I first saw this thread title because I have a Hispanic friend with long hair who would always cut it. Pre-LHCF (before I even knew it was possible for black women to have super long hair), I would joke and say "girl, I probably wasn't blessed with hair like that because I'd have my head in the clouds." Now that my hair goals have become reality, I'm so grateful and I feel compelled to share the good news with other sisters. And I do.

 

[Nonie]

Nonie, I understand what you are saying and No this is not directed at any one. I have read what goes on in the off topic forums and yes it is quite intriguing.

For example, when a football or basketball player is born and raised in a city a lot of times he comes back and builds a youth league or recreational center to help the people that are growing up there still, but everyone that is born and raised there does not always come back. Does this make it right or wrong? I don't know and it's not for me to judge. I'm from Hampton, Virginia and to name a few Michael Vick and Allen Iverson they came back and built leagues, clubs, and recreational centers but everyone did not give back to the community. It takes more than just the same ones to make a change.

I believe it is the same thing within the LHCF and in real life. A lot of people have not figured it out and it takes more than the same few to make a difference. A lot of OP's just leave the forum all together because "they have lives." This is not directed at anyone in particular. But just as sure as I'm typing there are women that made it to Waist Length and beyond through LHCF and did not give back and just lurk. Some are probably reading what I am typing. Yeah we can say all they have to do is press SEARCH but personal contact is much more personal. In real life I have noticed that there are women that are upitty and not tell you anything and don't want you to be to where they are. But that is not for me to judge.

I am grateful for LHCF and everyone that I have met since I have been here because without it I would not be where I am today.

OP I think your concerns would make sense to me if by the people leaving the HF and never coming back, the HF somehow deteriorated and no one was growing long hair. Then the idea of not giving back would make sense as to why it's an issue.

The hair forum is thriving even without oldies coming into it, and that's because there's never a scarcity of people with tips here. I mean, we get long-haired newbies all the time who bring in some fresh ideas or echo the wisdom of oldies. Adora Adora, for instance, comes to mind. Not only did she walk in with hair to die for, but she's also very helpful and has been natural for a long time and is now texlaxed (can give perspectives on both sides) and has reminded people of the wonders of juicing.

In all the years I've been here, that some people left LHCF altogether or just don't post in the hair forum anymore, has never affected it at all because their wisdom is archived here for all time. And if they are still here, they will GIVE BACK if you send them a PM and ask them to clarify something if you haven't been able to find the answer in any of their posts or others' posts. I think what can be annoying to someone is if you're asking something they already shared. So a search is always best because you may find you don't need their presence after all coz their answer is in the archives.

TBH with 100K+ members on the forum, I am kinda glad they're not all posting in the hair forum. It's hard to keep up with just one active thread when only the regulars are posting. It'd be bananas if everyone were posting on here. And seriously, just judging from how often I echo myself, what new info could they possible share that they haven't already shared? I mean, by the time you reach your goal, your "method" is pretty much set and I'm sure that "method" is discussed ad nauseum by you as you journey to that goal on the HF. And so why would you need to post again what you posted before? Like really, is the forum suffering without their input?

The more I read your posts OP, the more I'm confused as to why you are so bothered. Isn't there enough info here? Is there a particular person you want to hear from? A particular question you want answered? Seriously I don't think I've ever witnessed anyone else get so worked up about people leaving and never coming back. Yes, we miss a lot of great oldies, but wonderful newbies come on and help us get over the loss of the great posters who left, and life goes on.

Gosh I hope not. I hate when girls that have long hair are asked what they did to get it and they just look at you like .

Or they're like "I've always had long hair".

Might be because they are tired of answering questions whether they always had it or they had to learn to grow and retain, and think that ppl won't listen (Most won't).

Either way, I will try to give the best advice possible. To the people that watch me grow, the proof will be in the pudding.

Brg240 said what I was going to say in response to this: Many people IRL with long hair do not have as elaborate regimens as we do here, that's why for a lot of us before we found hair boards, IRL only the "lucky folks with special hair" had long hair as far as we knew, coz we did more or less the same things but some just seemed to have hair that grew long while we remained with "shrubs".

I don't know why it'd be so hard to believe that some people don't do anything and their hair grows. We've got members here who have photos of themselves as kids with really long hair and then somehow when they became in charge of their own hair care, things went downhill, and they recall doing very little to keep long hair when they had it. There are threads where people muse about how they grew long hair using grease and getting hair hot combed, yet if you look at them now compared to back then, their hair isn't as long. Another sign that some people do grow long hair w/o doing anything special.

BTW, my hair is longer than I had it as a child and I do very little to it, way less than I ever did in all my life. I shampoo, condition, ACV and baggy. That's it, no moisturizer/leave-in. There are people doing all the right things by their hair, things that logic would tell you should give them long healthy hair...but their journey seems more of a struggle than mine. They complain of knots, splits, tangles, breakage, shedding... Not to say I may not experience those at one time or another, but if I do, it's not often and yet, I'm not working hard. And I'm not lying either.

The Nonie of before 2001 (that's when I started the regimen I'm on) might not have believed it were possible to do what I do and not be bald. But after seeing someone else with long hair and hearing about her regimen, I decided to give it a try, and now I'm a believer and a member of that club. And really, the only reason we understand that CWing is doing something or that keeping hair in a bun or braiding is doing something so that the response "I don't do anything" seems dishonest, is because after being on hair boards, we understand the reasons that those things work. Someone outside of hair boards might do the same things but not realize how beneficial and instrumental they are to retention, so to them, they aren't doing anything; their hair just grows.

But really, why do we care what outsiders do to grow hair? Like will our hair grow longer because we have heard everyone's story? Aren't there enough threads on the forum and posts in archives (Thanks to whoever mentioned FOM) by long-haired folks that have armed us with more info than we can use?

Y'all better be careful, information overload when you can't even process it all to use it might be one of the causes of madness.