When you reach your hair goals will you become uppity?

[LadyRaider]

I'm going to be uppity in real life, but not on this board.

Just kidding. I think some people are just natural teachers and naturally helpful. And some people might have grown long hair, but they are just not the teacher types. With those people, I bet if you ask them a direct question, they will help you out or lend advice.

Plus some may have been on this board for years. They have become like the ENTS (in LOTR) They have been through all the stages including the helping other stages. As long as they see other people still helping, well they are not going to be big on it anymore.

What do you think? Make sense?

 

[Missjae09]

The whole point of giving hair advice is to be informative/helpful. If that' snot your objective then you should just refrain from giving advice at all. I wouldn't dare tell someone it was simple if I knew it was a struggle. I love my hair as a natural and I try to encourage others to go the same route when possible/appropriate however I do tell them that they have to be dedicated to the cause.. it's definitely not an easy process.. I try to be as honest as possible about my experience.
I would definitely pay forward the things I've learned in my journey.

 

[Kindheart]

When you reach your hair goals will you express that your journey and journey was simplistic when you honestly know that it was a struggle? I will gladly share my struggle with them ,i ve had setbacks and I love sharing informations and tips with others to improve my knowledge .
When you reach your hair goals will you come to the other threads and give bsl and lower encouragement just because? Hm well i wouldnt necessarly encorage anyone who doesnt seek any encouragement ,however if they do need support i ll be there for them. When you reach your hair goals will you look down on others that is not at the point where you are?

Thats immature and IMO quite sad .So No i wont ,I never did when i was WL and I m genuinly happy when other women reach their goals .Uppity people are just too afraid of competition so they avoid it by putting this wall up of fake confidence,and often arrogance

 

[RedVelvet310]

When you reach your hair goals will you express that your journey and journey was simplistic when you honestly know that it was a struggle?I don't really know IF my journey was a "struggle" per se.. what is a long and timely journey? Yes.. but once I found what worked for me it was just a matter of waiting and allowing my hair to flourish and grow And I'll tell people that as well.. and I'd tell them exactly what I did!

When you reach your hair goals will you come to the other threads and give bsl and lower encouragement just because? If they have a question that I think I can answer, I will definitely put in my two cents. But if they are dealing with issues I never dealt with.. I will keep my mouth closed I'm no expert

When you reach your hair goals will you look down on others that is not at the point where you are? Heck no! But I WILL be damn proud of myself.. I'm not going to be ashamed of my hard work and dedication.. so I might flip my hair and wear long hair styles and admit that I LOVE my hair If people see that as uppity so be it..

 

[beans4reezy]

When you reach your hair goals will you express that your journey and journey was simplistic when you honestly know that it was a struggle?

With my family (female cousins) who berated me and constantly cracked jokes about my journey... Heck yeah! I am so desperately waiting for the day one of them asks me how my hair got so long...I will give a vague answer like, "Oh, I wash and condition.."

When you reach your hair goals will you come to the other threads and give bsl and lower encouragement just because?
Absolutely- if it weren't for the inspiration I get from the long haired beauties here, I would never think that long hair would be at all possible for me. I would love to help or be an inspiration to someone else just starting out.

When you reach your hair goals will you look down on others that is not at the point where you are?
Never. But bringing it back to my family- yes. Let me get to MBL and the Yaki hair jokes will NEVER end.

As you can see, I am on a mission.

 

[lovenharmony]

When you reach your hair goals will you express that your journey and journey was simplistic when you honestly know that it was a struggle? Um, no! I would want other ladies to know that if you want to grow kinky, curly hair to it's longest length, you need to treat it like silk. Even if it was easy, it doesn't hurt to take care of your hair because it will not only look healthier, but be healthier!

When you reach your hair goals will you come to the other threads and give bsl and lower encouragement just because? Definitely since I know how much frustration and discipline it takes to grow very curly kinky coily hair to long lengths.

When you reach your hair goals will you look down on others that is not at the point where you are? Never! The only people I see doing that are the ones who always were able to grow their hair long...I'm not one of them. I would always seek to encourage others because I want everyone on this board to be happy about their hair and grow it to it's longest length possible.

 

[NicBenny]

Not in my nature, never have been.

My hair has always been long, usually I stay around BSL. My trims may take me between APL and BSL and if I don't trim for a long time, I get to MBL, but my hair is really split by that time. So, I've always had a nice length of hair, though not always healthy.

I'm use to other women asking me about my hair regime. And I'm always very helpful, so when I reach my personal hair goals, I don't see anything changing about me sharing info.
I offer advice to my friends, even when they don't ask, because I share what I learn. I'm always recommending products and giving tips on hair care, thanks to LHCF.

 

[BostonMaria]

When you reach your hair goals will you express that your journey and journey was simplistic when you honestly know that it was a struggle?
Yes! Why scare people with a 100 paged regimen!

When you reach your hair goals will you come to the other threads and give bsl and lower encouragement just because?
I do that now. Heck I was doing that when I was neck length!

When you reach your hair goals will you look down on others that is not at the point where you are?
I always look down on people, why stop now? LMAO i'm kidding!

 

[Nonie]

When you reach your hair goals will you express that your journey and journey was simplistic when you honestly know that it was a struggle?

I do not find this hair journey a struggle because I don't stress too much about it. When my hair grows to a length that I feel is enough, I will be honest and share all I did to get there. If anyone knows me and my hair journey, they know I am truly enjoying the ride and that I have learned to live with my hair in ways that require very little time and effort from me, so that if I were to list things that feel like work, it'd not appear on that list at all. I love to share knowledge both as receiver and giver, so I'd be honored to share everything in case it might come in handy to another and help them have as much fun as I am having.
​

When you reach your hair goals will you come to the other threads and give bsl and lower encouragement just because?

I am not yet at a length that I would consider my final destination, yet I do love to give encouragement to people whether they are bald or have longer hair than me and have concerns/questions. So that will not change but I might even be more enlightened/wiser and full of more info to share then and just as thrilled to do so.
​

When you reach your hair goals will you look down on others that are not at the point where you are?

No, I won't. I don't even think I'd know how to. Ever since I was a kid, I have always wanted to be there for those who had less than me and to help anyone I could. I just don't get haughty people and cannot stand to be around them. So my answer is a resounding no. Even at the length I am, there are many who are where I once was and for whom I feel excited because I know they too will get to where I am one day, even if they might not think so now. And so it's a joy to be able to help them navigate their way. Why would anyone look down on anyone for any reason?
​

 

[soldierforhair]

Whew! We have a tough bunch of ladies on the forum. I knew this wasn't the friendly subject when I posted it. I had to hide for cover for a minute. Glad to see the thread is coming around.

 

[Fine 4s]

- go with peace my child...

Still laughing ! Look, don't be so judgmental. You cannot define an individual's full personality based on a two line forum post. Maybe they were just having a little fun. I was and I am...

I am the oldest of four girls, and my mom would put us in our place quick if we walked around with a conceited attitude. However, I have the biggest heart; I am confident, charamastic, warm, and enthusiastic. I am also loving these post and having a good day!

Yyyyyyyyyeah...I'm feeling uneasy with all these generalizations.
I'm wondering if Quasimoto is typing all this up
I'm soooooooo kidding, but couldn't help it.
I'm ready for my spanking now.

 

[LadyRaider]

I don't think a person would be on this board without the purpose of saying, "I did it, you can do it too."

My cousins have long hair. They wouldn't show up on a board like this. I'm sure they think no one else could ever be as fly as they are, so why encourage them.

By default, showing up on a board like this is saying that others can achieve the same goals.

 

[SmilingElephant]

I am not uppity....uppidy??(sp??....see i can't even spell the word right!)

But my journey has had its ups and downs and everytime someone asks me about my journey i always explain both the good and the bad. I post in threads where i see ppl sincerely need/want suggestions...and hey its nothing wrong with feeling good about having long flowy hair....its a freakin achievement!!...but on here and IRL if i know you're real about wanting to know how i grew my hair and want some tips i am MORE than happy to share

 

[SmilingElephant]

Plenty of long haired ladies still post on the forum and are willing to help other posters on their journey. There really is no need for them to post on a daily basis because they have sought and found what works for them, so basically their journey is on cruise control. Those who spend more time in OT than the HF have learned what works for them. I can only speak for myself, but some of these threads get repetitive. As for long haired ladies IRL, there can be many reasons why they don't help others in their HHJ. Perhaps they don't want to see anyone else with long hair. Or maybe when they try to offer advice, the recipients throw up excuses as to why what was suggested won't work for them.

A search will generally yield whatever information you are looking for. Google is also helpful.

This is what i run into IRL........DON'T ASK ME HOW I GREW MY HAIR AND WHAT I USE IF YOU DON'T WANNA DO WORK!!!!

 

[grow]

great thread.....! will comment later....

 

[Nonie]

How many think I reached my hair goals so I am going to stay in the off topic forums?

I don't think people staying in OT and never coming to the HF are being uppity at all. Many people came to this forum looking for hair advice for themselves, once they get it, they start looking around and find other forums. The other forums have a lot of info in them that is of interest to them now. So they are no longer focused on hair, but that doesn't mean that if someone reached out to them with a question, they wouldn't answer. I think sometimes we read too much into stuff and end up getting the wrong end of the stick.

I personally haven't come across anyone on this forum who'd turn his/her nose up at someone asking for advice.

ETA: Just saw Americka's post along these same lines after I posted. I agree. Sorry for the redundant post. LOL

 

[grow]

that's really nice, Nonie and i surely hope it's true. in your case, i'm sure it is!

but sadly, i can list several ladies (who will remain anonymous, for obvious reasons), who's hhj i admired and wrote to asking for their advice.

to this day (i've been here 7 months), i have yet to hear from these ladies.

 

[LovelyNaps26]

Yes I did.

I know that I'm not a popularity contest or anything so I'm just going to say it.

I thinks its weird that everyone says that they are not uppidity or stuck up and willing to help but what I have observed in real life and some but less on the forum but there are a lot of long hair women on the forum and how many actually post on the hair forum. It is always the same women. And more so IRL from what I observe women are less likely to help each other. How many encourage others? How many think I reached my hair goals so I am going to stay in the off topic forums?

i haven't reached my hair goals but after a few months on LHCF i realized that i stopped having "ah-ha" moments reading the hair forum. the inches are adding on and i'm kind of in cruise control as far as my hair. i now spend more time in 'other' forums as well. **However, when i reach WL (if i decide to go beyond MBL) i will intentionally be more present in the hair forum, knowing that i once thought such length impossible for a natural sister w/ 4a/mostly 4b hair.

 

[Nonie]

that's really nice, Nonie and i surely hope it's true. in your case, i'm sure it is!

but sadly, i can list several ladies (who will remain anonymous, for obvious reasons), who's hhj i admired and wrote to asking for their advice.

to this day (i've been here 7 months), i have yet to hear from these ladies.

Do you know if they have logged again in since you wrote? Also did you remind them with a kind follow-up?

I ask because I have known people who read a message on the fly and forget to return to it, and then it gets buried under others and they never realize that they never answered.

Or they read and make a mental plan to reply later when they can focus better. But before they get to that, they get a visitor's message telling them that their hoarding habits are beginning to shamelessly show :crazy: because there's no room for more mail in their inbox (I won't mention any names either ) and in a mad frenzy to cover their shame, they delete several messages including the one they meant to reply to later.

If they cannot remember who the writer was, especially if this was the first time, then right there would be the end of any chance of them ever writing back.

So I think a little nudge to remind people or even just to find out if they'd rather you left them alone, would clear things up for you.

I admit I've done this accidental deletion coz I was called out on being a pack rat and was in a mad rush so as not to keep the one trying to send something waiting, but usually I've remembered to write back to the person whose message I deleted and asked them to kindly resend their question. I may have done it for one that was a new contact and therefore not had a clue who to ask for a resend, but trust me it was not intentional.

I have also been the one who apparently got ignored but a follow-up has usually cleared things up and it has always turned out that it was unintentional and totally without malice.

People are busy, and even if it seems like LHCF is all they do all day, having to fit this very active forum into your life means something else in your life is in waiting while you're dossing about on here. So it's not so far-fetched to imagine folks having to switch gears 100% once they log off and not even remembering what happened the last time they were here. Giving people the benefit of the doubt goes a long way.

 

[SmilingElephant]

I LOVE YOU NONIE!!!........

 

[soldierforhair]

I LOVE YOU NONIE!!!........

I LOVE ALL OF YOU!

It's always the same people commenting and mostly they are not commenting in this thread. Smiling Elephant you always come in the Waist Length 2012 thread just to say hi and it means a lot to us over there for you to peek in every now and then. I'm not trying to bash anyone because you have long hair but just stating my observations since I have been on this hair board and in real life.

 

[MizAvalon]

A lot of longer haired ladies/ladies who have been here for a long time don't spend much time on the hair board because it's very repetitive. Lots of newbies asking questions that have been asked a million times before. If someone is sincerely looking for answers, all she has to do is do a search. Believe me, whatever you(general you) are asking about has been addressed at least 30 times over the years. If there is a specific member's hair that you are interested in, there is always PM.

I don't see people being uppity or stingy regarding information on this board at all. We help each other all the time in the Makeup, Fitness, Cooking, and OT forums. We are always sharing information. I'm sure it seems that way over in Hair because frankly, once people get their regimens down there is no reason to hang out in the hair forum a whole lot. It's not like folks don't want to share but you can only answer "What conditioner gives the best slip" or "Did you have long hair as a child" so many times before you get bored with all that.

 

[Nonie]

It's always the same people commenting and mostly they are not commenting in this thread. Smiling Elephant you always come in the Waist Length 2012 thread just to say hi and it means a lot to us over there for you to peek in every now and then. I'm not trying to bash anyone because you have long hair but just stating my observations since I have been on this hair board and in real life.

But OP can you understand why some people may never return to this forum or may get bored with it? That you echoed your sentiments this late in the thread makes it seem like you really think there's more to it than has been shared. If that's so, I'm sorry you feel that way but I think you're wrong about people here.

Have you seen all the thought-provoking discussions that go on in other forums that can keep people there? If there's someone in particular you want to hear from, seriously, sending them a PM with a link to the thread you want answered may be all you need to do.

I don't know about in IRL but I feel like LadyRaider that it's almost a given that anyone on the forum is open to sharing. I've been here since 2003 and that's been my observation.

 

[JJamiah]

that's really nice, Nonie and i surely hope it's true. in your case, i'm sure it is!

but sadly, i can list several ladies (who will remain anonymous, for obvious reasons), who's hhj i admired and wrote to asking for their advice.

to this day (i've been here 7 months), i have yet to hear from these ladies.

Sorry Grow I was busy homie, LOL! (kIdding) YOU CHEATING ON ME! I thought I was your only morning buddy!

Honestly I answer all questions and help. I love to up lift my sisters in real life and on LHCF.

And that is sad that they never replied

 

[kayte]

but I feel like LadyRaider that it's almost a given that anyone on the forum is open to sharing. I've been here since 2003 and that's been my observation

.
co-sign

OP...a lot has to do with perception...and projection
Sorry. that's what I see.

Frankly I don't like the questions...they're counterintuitive and kind of manipulative...which is why a few people resisted and gave you the obivous "yes I'll be uppity" answer...and what did you do?
you missed the irony and the gentle message of.... back off

and instead went even further and sermonized on the virtues of being "humble"
I don't know I own the right to define another woman's process with her hair
and how humble or not she oughta be..
I figure..........that's none of my business

What does ANY of that have to do..with growing your hair long,anyways?
what are you looking for OP?
If you are TRULY looking to grow your
hair ...
the advice & suggestion threads are ALL here
and if not...that's what the search engines are for.

Trying to target certain individuals with these questions
because they are not responding as you would like them to. That's ego!
............. has NOTHING ........to do with growing your hair
and if your goals are premised on another's behavior anyway..
rather than your own personality...that's....well...
i dunno


preaching how a woman ought to be when she gets long hair..
my goodness!!.. you are over-endowing these women
and their long hair with power they don't deserve.

even tho it is powerful to have long hair...& .it can be done!
so...have at it,OP



There are MORE than enough women offering encouragement
so what..if you feel it's the same women ..

The point is....perception..
Are you benefitting from "the same ones"?...
then stop taking roll call and complaining

taking a leaf from your book
and be grateful for the help you've gotten

Kayte runs......................................................

 

[SmilingElephant]

Honestly there are a whole lot of us long haired sistas on here that are willing to help you out with your questions if its something in particular....i know me,Toy,MzMomo, DLewis, BostonMaria, AdoraAdora24, Ivey....and a host of others will help you out.

Are you looking for a mentor?? Or you need motivation?....Because i know early in my journey i needed motivation.....so i either asked questions of the members whose hair i admired or i just searched through the threads.

Now....one thing about me.....if there is something you have searched and searched for....if you ask me i will do my best to help you out....i know that about myself bc i have a knack for doing research.....but i was just wondering if these are the things you were were getting at?

 

[GoingNatural]

I don't come to the hair forum much because it's become repetitive and sometimes when you give advice it doesn't matter because some people just need to find out for themselves.

If anyone reaches out to me I do my best to give an in depth response no matter how many times I get the same question from different before.

I will never look down on anyone on a hair journey, but I do more so appreciate those that keep open minds.I do think I could come into the hair forum more and provide encouragement.


Also, I plan on keeping my fotki open.. I know it always bothered me when my hair idols would lock or shut down their fotkis once they reached their goals

 

[jupitermoon]

But OP can you understand why some people may never return to this forum or may get bored with it?

I don't think people staying in OT and never coming to the HF are being uppity at all. Many people came to this forum looking for hair advice for themselves, once they get it, they start looking around and find other forums.

I hope I don't come across as one of these people the OP is talking about. I agree with the bolded. Sometimes I just need a break from hair plus I tend to lurk alot.

My regimen is also very simple so I may not offer advice in certain threads because I do not have first hand experience. For example, I only use conditioner in my hair (and sometimes EVOO during the cooler months) so I can't really offer advice about the best gels, mousse, custards, butters, etc.

I don't log into my fotki often but do try very hard to answer all questions and the same goes for my pms. I never purposely ignore people and am more than willing to help and share my regimen (which is so simple that some people will ask me if I'm doing more with my hair).

I do use the THANKS button alot and thank people when they post progress pics, etc. as a means of showing encouragement. I love when people reach their goals.

 

[Avaya]

As a relaxed head I rarely came to the hair forum anymore after I reached my goal not because I became stuck-up but because I wasn't interested in the hair forum anymore. The same thread topics, same questions being asked over and over. BOOOORRRRIIINNNGGG!

Now that I cut off all of my relaxed hair, I'm over here all day everyday . When whoever that was bumped all of those dang on poll threads it made me realize how infrequently I've been on "this side of the board" 'cause I had never seen like 95% of those threads.

 

[kayte]

Every month..or at least she tries to......the owner of this board
features a LHCF member of the month!
That member generally has substantial hair length & as part of the
feature posts her regimen. Believe or not that...IS....a form of encouragement

There are sooooooooooooo many foktis,you-tubes,threads,regimens,forums
one woman cannot possibly use...them.... all
but the info is out there

i just searched through the threads.

and so is the encouragement
It might not be....one on one....but we can be realistic about expectations
...yes?

*people have lives*

I like Smiling Elephant's questions a lot and the spirit...
of them......
..