"OMG, I Just Love Black People!"

[Barbara]

I've been asked what race am I, which really surprises me, because they notice my accent and hair. All these years, I didn't even know I had an accent, because I never paid attention to myself speak until it was called to my attention during my early 20s, but my father has an accent. I've been told by strangers about my "red" skin, and that I don't look like the average Black woman. I'm wondering what is the average Black woman suppose to look like?

I tell them I'm a native Californian, my relatives have been in Los Angeles for 100 years, and my family has been in this country since the 1500s. They think I'm from an island. So then I tell them that my both of my grandmothers' families are from France, they speak French fluently, and I have "red" in me, because there's Indian blood running through my veins, but I'm African American.

Then they look puzzled, even though I'm telling them the truth. Then I say to them: "There's Indian, French and African American on both sides of my family."

Incidentally, the above remarks come from other races of people and a few African Americans.

 

[theLovelyStyle]

I know what you mean.

The funniest is when white people try to sneak and touch my hair. They'll come up behind me and act like they are trying on pick lint or something off my shirt or act like they are greeting me with a pat on the back and touch my hair in the process. They ain't slick.

Then you have the dumb ones that assume my kids are mixed because they are lighter-skinned than I am.

Next you have the ones who think they are Black By Association because they are up-to-date on what they think entails Blackness or their "grandbaby" is part Black or they used to date a Black guy or they used to smoke weed with their Black college roomate. Those are the ones that keep getting owned because they think they can say/do anything.

White people don't "love" Black people though. My most recent confirmation of this was our neighbor who is married to and just had a baby by a BM arguing with him in their driveway and calling him the N-Word (the real one...not the replica that ends in an "a").

White people are, however, intrigued by us because we are beautiful, creative, sharp, unique, etc...The truth is that on a worldwide scale, they are the true minorities. Like the master comedian Paul Mooney said, "Everybody wants to be a n**** but nobody wants to be a n****."

Thats too strong of a generalization. Sorry for your horrifying experience, but not ALL white people do or dont do anything.

 

[Mizz Diamonds]

Oh my diddy kong racing! I have stories! when I was younger and had individual braids i would get asked by teachers and students if I took them off every night before went to bed, really? If I had canerows they would ask if I inserted them into my scalp with staples. I have been asked “can your mum make aki and salt fish” I had no clue what that was at the time white girl touching my hair on a school trip saying how “she only wanted to see if my hair was hard”
White kids and teacher insisting my family in Nigeria lived in a in a hut.

I would correct them all them with a stupid answer for a stupid question while making them look stupid but my dad and older sister they go hard when they are asked dumb questions One Indian man who is my dad’s co-worker asked my dad if it was true if all Africans are cannibals and this is what my dad :yes it is very true we eat our children that is why we have so much so we can eat them i originally ha 10 children but ate 3 becasue I was feeling peckish
Indian guy: alright I get it
Dad: no you don’t human meat is the best if you want i could go home and cook one of my children for you
IG: I said I get it
Dad: obviously you do no? Do you even think about what you are saying it that stupid mind of yours? Maybe if you spent more time developing your mental capacity you wouldn’t be in jeopardy of losing your job. Do you see me asking stupid questions about Indian? Now leave my sight before you infect me with your stupidity. (kisses teeth)

 

[Okay]

Maybe its just me but i dont find that offensive..
I think most are geniouly (SP?) curious...

I have had one girl tell me how come black people dont get long hair?
I didnt think that was offensive at all... If she hasnt been around many black people before that how would she know?

Hell i didnt even know if it was even possible to grow great lengths before i came to LHCF.

And about "black people food" i dont think they say that to be mean..
If they mean it in a positive way then so what?
Just correct them. That girl was ignorant because she DIDNT KNOW.
So i corrected her and now she knows its not the case.

Honestly though i have never ever encountered a black hair dresser here who had long healthy hair. Most of them have told me that blacks couldnt get long hair!!

"dont expect your hair to look like those extensions" one have said.

So it would be unfair to think that whites would know..

But then again, i live in small denmark, only 5 million people here.. lol...

So maybe its a whole nother case in the US...

 

[bimtheduck]

I think broad generalizations of any group, race, sex, religion is wrong. Asians are good at math, women are bad drivers, white people love mayo, black people love fried chicken and watermelon, Americans are rude and out spoken, those all sound ridicoulous but ppl say them(and believe them) all the time. Taking the actions of a few and assigning them to an entire group can be hurtful. No I don't think most ppl mean any harm by their questions and they are probably genuinely curious but it can still be hurtful. I don't think its just whites asking blacks these questions, it can go both ways and involve other ethnic groups too. I'm sure white ppl who live in predominantly black areas get the same weird questions. Same goes for other ethnic groups. I def. think adults should reserve their questions for other adults not children.
While I think certain comments can be rude, insensitive , or hurtful I do think race relations would be better in America if ppl talked about it more. We can all laugh and learn from each other, its just that standing behind me at the grocery store and asking me about my ethnic background is not the appropriate place to do so.

 

[kblc06]

I use such encounters as opportunities to dispel myths and stereotypes. In my experience, Those who ask such questions are typically ignorant as opposed to racist.

Understandable, I can normally discern the difference between ignorance, prejudice and racism (and yes they are all distinct phenomenons) and I have no probably educating someone or putting them in their place. However, within the context of these conversations, I'm 95% sure it was not just ignorance.

 

[kblc06]

OK first off I have to comment on your location because I didn't think anyone on here was even near upstate let alone rochester.

As for the weird white people behavior I have had that happen several times. My roommate from fresh/soph. year was amazed when I wore my fro for the first time. lol

Then freshman year I got micros a couple wks into the first semester and one of our neighbors thought my it was my hair and even said "How can your hair grow back so quickly?? I love black hair" I just laughed and went back to studying. But she was a little off anyway


ETA: I almost forgot about my wally world experiences! lol

I went to wally with my friend and had a fro working. Then I noticed a older white man following me up and down aisles. So I finally stopped to see if I recognized him from school or something. He walked up to me and said " I love your hair! Its so big and puffy!" And he made this big gesture with his hands all the while with a big smile on his face. That one made me feel good because I'm anorexic about my afros and puffs.

Oh Jesus, this reminds me of time I was on the airplane and this old arse white man flying to Savannah, GA tried to feel my hair up when I was asleep . I've had trouble falling asleep on airplanes ever since

 

[kblc06]

I don't see anything really offensive about it. Hey I want to know what Indian and Nepalese, etc people do, I ask questions, I am curious. I think some folks are quick to think something negative.

I usually associated black people food with soul food.

It's not that I think asking questions are negative, but to have someone blurt out "I love Black people, black people things, etc" without any precedent or context is bizarre, no? I can see if we were have a conversation about cultural norms, but it just seemed so strange that this always happens to me- maybe I attract such people due to some weird or unforeseen weirdo magnetism

 

[kblc06]

See this is the type of stuff I'm talking about...why do people feel that comfortable talking to me (or you Metro_qt) about such nonsense ?

This clear lady came up to me yesterday at work, and started speaking about how she LOVES black people... it's an 'Energy thing'... and Black People were the ones who taught her how to get through things and tough times

She had recently locked her 4 month old in her car, and went into the store to get something. CPS, of course was called... and now she's going to court to fight for her child.

She was talking to me like i had all the answers.
Lady? not only do i NOT have any children, but i can't relate to you at all, locking your child in your car like that.... just because i'm black.Sorry!

I don't know how un PC this next comment is going to be...
but why is it that clear girls think they can bond with me out of nowhere.... pulling out pictures of their mixed children, which means they have black spouses....

We'll just be chatting about the weather... or work... and
"HEY!!! wanna see my daughter she's soooo cute... so um.... Do you like to eat currygoat too? cuz my boyfriend sure does...he's a dred you know...."

 

[tHENATuRALhAiRpRoJEcT]

lmao!

yeah sis, i was asked WHY DON'T BLACK PEOPLE EVER WASH THERE HAIR!

I WAS IN A GRAD...HAD A PROFESSOR SAY "AFTER A STUDENT RAISED THERE HAND...ASKED Y ISN'T LICE USUALLY FOUND IN BLACK PEOPLE'S HAIR?????"


UMMMMM PROFESSOR SAID "B/C LICE USUALLY ONLY LIKES REALLY CLEAN HAIR!!!!!!!" THEY HAVE TO LIVE IN REALLY CLEAN HAIR ............ GOES ON TO ACCOUNT OF THE TIME HER DAUGHTER BROUGHT HOME LICE "FROM SCHOOL" AND THEY HAD TO BAG ALL THE STUFFED ANIMALS....WASH ALL LINENS....WASH & BAG ANYTHING IN THE HOUSE PRETTY MUCH

YEAR? 2008!!!!!!!<-- MIND YOU ONLY 5-6 BLACKS IN CLASS OF 40

 

[30something]

We black people are not immune to asking silly questions, I get the Caribbean/ Jamaican / New yorker patronizing or pointless silly questioning from blacks and whites. Gotten to the point where I'm thinking about keeping it to my self and don't even bother telling people anything but I don't want to be that closed and that defensive because they usually don't mean any harm.

 

[SimpleKomplexity]

My suitemate told me:

Kris. You're just not like those other black people.

You're not loud. Every word you say is not a curse word.

You're really smart. (are we dumb?).

And you know what else I noticed? Your hair always smells good and clean.

Not like those other people. (WTF) I asked her what do other girls' hair smell like.

She said dirt. (Why you sniffin dirt)

 

[Tamster]

UGH! I get that a lot. Not being like other black people. WTF?! WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF

 

[Keshieshimmer]

Ya know some of the stereotypes are 'confirmed' by TV. Most of the black folks that I see on TV have limited vocabulary, or look crazy especially the hair. If you live in podunk town, USA, what are you supposed to think? We need more positive examples so others won't think that the stereotypes are the norm.

 

[CrissieD]

Yeah but how else would he describe the type of food that he likes if it is indeed "soul food"?

Weren't they at a restaurant? He could have said I like THIS food. Black people food means nothing. My Black Dominican godfather eats different food than my Black Brazilian neighbor who eats VERY different food than my black American Brother in law, Who eats different food than my Black Trinidadian father and I have left out a whole host of other countries where black people cook and eat.

Thank the LORD I've lived in cities that have spared me from meeting this particular brand of Caucasian.

 

[Muse]

I know what you mean.

The funniest is when white people try to sneak and touch my hair. They'll come up behind me and act like they are trying on pick lint or something off my shirt or act like they are greeting me with a pat on the back and touch my hair in the process. They ain't slick.

Then you have the dumb ones that assume my kids are mixed because they are lighter-skinned than I am.

Next you have the ones who think they are Black By Association because they are up-to-date on what they think entails Blackness or their "grandbaby" is part Black or they used to date a Black guy or they used to smoke weed with their Black college roomate. Those are the ones that keep getting owned because they think they can say/do anything.

White people don't "love" Black people though. My most recent confirmation of this was our neighbor who is married to and just had a baby by a BM arguing with him in their driveway and calling him the N-Word (the real one...not the replica that ends in an "a").

White people are, however, intrigued by us because we are beautiful, creative, sharp, unique, etc...The truth is that on a worldwide scale, they are the true minorities. Like the master comedian Paul Mooney said, "Everybody wants to be a n**** but nobody wants to be a n****."

He was right! I love Paul Mooney and he is so underrated because he's so honest.

I don't know how un PC this next comment is going to be...
but why is it that clear girls think they can bond with me out of nowhere.... pulling out pictures of their mixed children, which means they have black spouses....

We'll just be chatting about the weather... or work... and
"HEY!!! wanna see my daughter she's soooo cute... so um.... Do you like to eat currygoat too? cuz my boyfriend sure does...he's a dred you know...."

I think some of them do that because they are shunned by their own race for marrying, dating, or having children with black men so they try to find somewhere to fit in. They feel like if they are shunned by their own maybe the blacks will accept them and their decision to date blacks. I'm thinking when they show other whites pics of their mixed kids they get that fake smile that really says "WTF! That kid's half black!"

 

[tHENATuRALhAiRpRoJEcT]

We black people are not immune to asking silly questions, I get the Caribbean/ Jamaican / New yorker patronizing or pointless silly questioning from blacks and whites. Gotten to the point where I'm thinking about keeping it to my self and don't even bother telling people anything but I don't want to be that closed and that defensive because they usually don't mean any harm.

I react defensively

BUT I NEVER MISS AN OPPORTUNITY OF WHICH WE CAN enlighten EDUCATE OTHERS

 

[Lynnerie]

Story of my life.

I went to a prodominantly white school all my life. White girls would try to touch my skin touch my hair tell me how cool black people are. Wish they could do all that cool stuff to their hair.

As time went on the questions/comments changed- Do black people wash their hair- (as if I'm the spokesperson for all black people) Or they would say- you are different from other blacks because of the way I speak. I had a white guy tell me that my white roommate was "blacker than me" because she was ghetto. I had to set him straight.

Just last month I went to Sephora for makeup and the YT girl asks me if I have any Asian or Indian in my family. I said no and she then keeps on talking about my features then she asks where I am from. I tell her PA. She continues putting on the makeup and then asks me "If I'm sure I dont have any Native American or Asian in my blood!!!" (I think I would know if I did. )
I ignored her cause I didn't even want to entertain it as to why she thought that.

I tell this story because I believe that whites have their set stereotypes and perceptions of us in their mind. They expect for us to look like, act like, and do things that they create in their mind based off what they have been told about blacks or maybe 1 experience they had or someone else had with blacks. The lady looked at a feature of mine and it didn't add up to what she thought it should be as a black person so therefore I must have something else going on. Remember- they think we all look the same.

 

[Nasdaq_Diva]

Ya know some of the stereotypes are 'confirmed' by TV. Most of the black folks that I see on TV have limited vocabulary, or look crazy especially the hair. If you live in podunk town, USA, what are you supposed to think? We need more positive examples so others won't think that the stereotypes are the norm.

*cough* tyler perry: Meet the browns and House of Payne *cough*

 

[Miss*Tress]

I remember being a teen in a summer honors program and the facilitator asked the Black kids if when we bathe, the Blackness comes off and then regenerates when we dry off. She had a straight face too.

I said, "have you ever seen a Black person in a swimming pool?" Yes. "Okay, so why would you ask such a ridiculous question?" Crickets. The sad part is that some of the other Blacks had the nerve to tell me I was wrong for owning her like that. *********!

When I got to college white girl tries to say she thought all Black people were athletes or entertainers and when everyone looked at her like she was Boo Boo the Fool, she pled ignorance..."I'm from a small town with not that many Black people." Bullsh*t!

"Do you have a television?" Yes. "Do you see Black people on television?" Yes. "Are the Black people you see on television kicking a ball or singing?" Crickets.

See, white people get passes from minorities for all kinds of dumb sh*t when the fact of the matter is that if we did and said the same stuff to them as they do to us, they'd be ready call the FBI, CIA, Interpol and throw out terms like "reverse racism". At the least you'd just be dumb. Ignorance is when you truly don't know. Babies are ignorant. Retarded people are ignorant. The stuff that comes out of white people's mouths is just pure stupidity fueled by a social structure that lets them get away with doing and saying whatever the hell they want to. They dress that mess up to make you think they're just naive and really curious.

They get no passes from me. We live in the information age. I don't care if you're from Bucktooth, Mississippi, you know what's up.

@kmn1980: you are my kind of peeps!

 

[kmn1980]

Thats too strong of a generalization. Sorry for your horrifying experience, but not ALL white people do or dont do anything.

Ok. All we can talk about is in generalizations because there are 6.2 billion people in the world. That's the basis of statistics. Black people (collectively, in general) don't even love Black people so it's a mistake to think white people (collectively, in general) "love" Black people.

No horrifying experiences. I've spent too much time around white folks to have any "horrifying" experience. In fact, when that happened, I laughed and told the brotha' to read the fine print next time.

 

[PistolWhip]

I think we 've all had our moments .Some more than others. I had a crazy experience at a casino yesterday involving a old white woman. I think as long as we continue to set them straight and challenge them to think outside the box then we won't have to break a foot off in(you know the rest). Just my 2 cents.

 

[TaraDyan]

I’ve certainly had my share of curious questions and comments from random 2520’s (and friends too). Some of my favorites encounters:

Curious Encounter #1:
One day at work as I was walking back to my desk, I stopped to talk to a group of white male co-workers who were standing in the middle of the aisle. As we were conversing, one of the guys reached out and suddenly – without warning or provocation – boinged one of my big curls (I set my hair with flexirods the night before). Then homie had the nerve to exclaim, “Wow! I didn’t know y’alls hair could be so soft (meaning black women)!” Before I could chin check him, one of the other white guys in the group, smacked his hand and said, “Don’t you know you should never touch a Black woman’s hair?” Then the one who boinged my hair said, “OMG … I’m so sorry I didn’t know. Did I offend you?” I told him that although I personally don’t mind when people touch my hair, I prefer to be ASKED FIRST. I warned him that you cannot just roll up on a sista and molest her hair all willy nilly. His fellow 2520s agreed with me.

Curious Encounter #2:
I was wearing my hair up as I always do every day (refer to the pic in my siggy). When I wear my hair like this, it always waves up in the front. A female Caucasoid came up to me and asked me how I got those “deep waves” in my hair. I told her that I don’t do anything to it and it just grows that way. She looked slightly disappointed with my answer. Then … THEN … she proceeds to admit to me that she thought I wore an “apparatus” (her words, not mine) in order to get the wave dents … like maybe HUGE PAPERCLIPS. Huge paper clips? Seriously? I could see if she thought I used wave clips, but huge paper clips? erplexed

I have so many more examples too.

 

[luthiengirlie]

My suitemate told me:

Kris. You're just not like those other black people.

You're not loud. Every word you say is not a curse word.

You're really smart. (are we dumb?).

And you know what else I noticed? Your hair always smells good and clean.

Not like those other people. (WTF) I asked her what do other girls' hair smell like.

She said dirt. (Why you sniffin dirt)

I get this comment from white people often... I ALSO GET COMMENTS ABOUT MY DEAFNESS.


wow you're so smart for a deaf person


wow..... what is it like to not hear
wow
you're deaf... I'M SORRY(they actin like it's tragic) ooo i could smack some folks.
wow..... the Lawrt can heal you because you're deaf(SIGHS if GOD WANTED ME HEARING I WOULD BE.. I'M HAPPY WITH IT)

wow you can speak and sign at the same time
wow...you can talk

ugh
and this is usually accompanied by the deer in headlights look

the WORST i get is from dumb a*** men

what is sex like?
i wanna color with you because i wonder what it's like to color a deaf person?
ARE YOU KIDDING ME???

Lord help these idiots for they know not what they say
and mostly BLACK people ask me this dumb mess..'

YOU WOULD THINK...
(sighs)


UGH
you're so intelligent and beautiful for a black person
(side eye.. want to smack you upside the head look)
ugh

 

[kmn1980]

I get this comment from white people often... I ALSO GET COMMENTS ABOUT MY DEAFNESS.


wow you're so smart for a deaf person


wow..... what is it like to not hear
wow
you're deaf... I'M SORRY(they actin like it's tragic) ooo i could smack some folks.
wow..... the Lawrt can heal you because you're deaf(SIGHS if GOD WANTED ME HEARING I WOULD BE.. I'M HAPPY WITH IT)

I have a deaf cousin and he gets the same. "Smart for a deaf person?" I don't know how you do it

 

[luthiengirlie]

I have a deaf cousin and he gets the same. "Smart for a deaf person?" I don't know how you do it

It takes prayer. Because its the one thing that gets me cussing. HOW IDIOTIC. Can a person b? Deafness and intelligence do NOT equate! I just CAN'T HEAR DUMMY! (SIGHS)
SORRY JUST FUSTRATED!

 

[CosmicVisitor]

I have to hand it to some of you guys; you have a lot more patience than me.
I don't suffer fools gladly; I really don't have time for ignorance that is easily cured in this day and age.

I think it's totally unreasonable to expect an individual to be the ambassador for an entire ethnicity because you're too lazy not to stereotype. Really ticks me off that they bring their often frankly plain dumb comments and questions to one person expecting them to be their personal educator and represent a whole race. So unreasonable and rage enducing. I don't consider Hitler/Chairman Mao/Ted Bundy/Billy-bob the cannibal redneck who bathes once a year and sired his own grandchildren to be the spokespersons of their respective ethnicity. Just pure laziness and ignorance born of undeserved privilege. I say this about anyone of any race that does that.

 

[stelladata]

This is funny. I've had similar situations. I was actually seeing a guy and he would make subtle comments and sometimes I wouldnt know how to take it, like should I call him an 'ignorant summabish' or ' racist' lol. Anyway, I try not to take offense because sometimes it's just curiosity right? He'd make comments like ' you are not like other black ppl, all ghetto and from the hood" and I'd crank my brow like 'what?... um, I live in the hood" then he'd proceed to tell me about some encounter he had with black ppl who were seemingly ghetto or threatened to beat him up. Lmao... Anyway, I'm reading some of your comments for a better way to respond to this. xD

 

[Nasdaq_Diva]

This thread reminds me of Chris Rock: "He's so well spoken..He speaks so well"

 

[stelladata]

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