I Was Healthier Relaxed....

[KnitChick]

Is it just me?

My hair thrived when I was relaxed sure I had a few setbacks here and there, but my hair was healthy no split ends and I grew and retained length -although I always kept a bob (think Taraji Henson) or short (Rhianna/Halley Berry) I don't like hair past my shoulders

But as a natural...My 4 a/b hair is just eh! erplexed I have been doing all the right thinks protein, moisture, low manipulation etc. I've got a pantry of natural products, I deep con abt every month. Dudley's or Apoghee Heavy Protein.

and I am a trimmer... I hate split and uneven ends. I have been natural about 8 1/2 and I have about 3 1/2 to 4 inches of hair stretched....that seems like slow growth to me If I was relaxed I would definitely have more length...

I dunno I just feel like while I love my curls (and I love them) This is actually the worst my hair has ever been, except for a brief obsession with peroxide in High School that left me damn near bald

Do any other naturals feel this way or am I just missing the swing of my Relaxed Bob <I miss you old friend

Please chime in naturals and relaxed ladies....

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

So what issues specifically are you having with your natural hair?

 

[MizzBrit]

eh well my hair thrives while im natural compared to when i was relaxed. i also dont see your exact problem.. to have 3 1/2-4 inches of new growth in 8.5 months isnt slow at all..maybe you're just impatient? or haven't gotten used to shrinkage?

 

[Whimsy]

if u miss a bob get a wig.



Seriously, you should consider DCing more often than once a month.

And once you get the swing of taking care of your natural hair you'll see how it thrives.

Put the scissors down and pick up some deep conditioners and moisturizers.

And don't worry about your growth, you're doing great.

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

Also if you love the way straight hair looks and flows....then by all means straighten it out and swing till the cows come home. When the mood strikes me I'll get my hair pin straight and enjoy feeling it blowing in the wind. The key is learning the right ways to straighten hair for your hair type.

 

[Aviah]

Hey you,
I know what you mean sometimes. Though I think I get good growth either way but I definitely have more splits as a natural. I have yet to find the cause of why there are so many, but its not ruining my progress so I tend to just S&D when I have time and I'm not fussed abut even ends just yet (I'll tackle that when it gets longer). Seeing as I don't flat iron too often, I tend to leave it alone, or when I do flat iron do bantu knot-outs to disguise the ends.

That said, I know splits tend to come up when your hair is roughly handled, dry, too much heat, etc. So maybe try to do more PS or DCing or maybe invest in really sharp scissors? (As those can be the culprit ironically enough) Baggy method, and having a heavier moisturizer on the ends may also help...

 

[KnitChick]

if u miss a bob get a wig.



Seriously, you should consider DCing more often than once a month.

And once you get the swing of taking care of your natural hair you'll see how it thrives.

Put the scissors down and pick up some deep conditioners and moisturizers.

And don't worry about your growth, you're doing great.

I know the Dc'ing is not where it should be.. I have had my hair braided or weaved for pretty much the entire winter so that's why It doesn't happen more often.. and I am a bit scissor happy

 

[DDTexlaxed]

I think my hair was better lightly texlaxed. I had less shrinkage and my hair knotted a lot less.

 

[cutenss]

I was just thinking about this. When I was relaxed, I was not much of a "pj". I basically used pink oil and perm repair. My hair was thicker, and I had no split ends. I did not DC, nor PS. I did stretch my relaxers out of laziness. I am a natural now, and have been for years. But when I straighten my natural hair, it looks like my relaxed hair. Just thinner. I equate that to age. IDK. I do know that I will not relax anymore. But it did have me thinking...

 

[BostonMaria]

Seems like you're newly natural, which comes with its growing pains (no pun intended).

1. Put down the scissors
2. Like BMP said, if you want straight hair just grab a flatiron. I love variety and my hair goes back and forth all the time.
3. Maybe the natural products you're using aren't working for you. Just because they're natural doesn't mean your hair will love it.
4. Give it some more time. Worse case scenario and you really feel like it was healthier relaxed, then you can go back to a relaxer. I would use this as a last case scenario since its permanent.

HTH!

 

[ThickHair]

Maybe natural hair isn't for you. Nothing wrong with that. It might not be as complicated as you thing it is.

 

[CheLala13]

Don't take this the wrong way, but why did you originally go natural?

 

[BlackGeisha]

How long have you been natural? Were you relaxed for a long period of time in your life, maybe you just had your relaxed regimen/routine down pat and you just need more time perfecting your natural regimen and styling technique.

 

[Minty]

Is it just me?

My hair thrived when I was relaxed sure I had a few setbacks here and there, but my hair was healthy no split ends and I grew and retained length -although I always kept a bob (think Taraji Henson) or short (Rhianna/Halley Berry) I don't like hair past my shoulders

But as a natural...My 4 a/b hair is just eh! erplexed I have been doing all the right thinks protein, moisture, low manipulation etc. I've got a pantry of natural products, I deep con abt every month. Dudley's or Apoghee Heavy Protein.

and I am a trimmer... I hate split and uneven ends. I have been natural about 8 1/2 and I have about 3 1/2 to 4 inches of hair stretched....that seems like slow growth to me If I was relaxed I would definitely have more length...

I dunno I just feel like while I love my curls (and I love them) This is actually the worst my hair has ever been, except for a brief obsession with peroxide in High School that left me damn near bald

Do any other naturals feel this way or am I just missing the swing of my Relaxed Bob <I miss you old friend

Please chime in naturals and relaxed ladies....

I understand what you are talking about. (now off to DC)

Thanks for sharing and keep us posted on your progress!!!

 

[Keedah]

I feel my hair was healthier relaxed. I treated it like crap and it was APL. I just knew going natural would have my hair to my behind.

I deal with splits on a regular and my constant trimming is hindering my growth. My hair is just about collarbone length and Ive been natural about 4 years now. Im now trying to stretch my hair with heat. Flat iron twice a month and hope that keeps it from tangly and splitting. I know Ill never go back to relaxers though.

 

[JerriBlank]

You're dc'ing once a month,with Dudley's(heavy protein) or aphogee(heavy protein)

That is major protein,especially for a natural head,and not nearly enough moisture being provided.

You definitely need to amp up the moisture.

Good luck with your decision

 

[KnitChick]

Chelala13

I just wanted a change. I have had every length and style of hair under the sun except dreadlocks and natural so I figured "Why Not" + I live in NYC I got natural hair envy every time I saw a cool funky big fro or a really nice twist out (which is very often here).

BlackGeisha
8 1/2 months

Ladybeesrch
Oh gosh no those proteins are every 6 weeks - 2 months

I guess I just need to be more patient and live with my natural hair a bit longer before I decide it's not for me I know that I am watching my growth like a hawk so maybe that's why I'm not happy with 3 1/2-4 inches (I might be obsessing a bit.... it's the Virgo in me )

 

[C(squared)]

I don't think you are a slow grower. On average, hair grows about half and inch a month so at 8 months you would be at 4 inches anyway, except for the fact you like to trim so I can see how 3 1/2 is not enough progress for you. I

I agree with the other ladies also. I have been a heat-straightened natural for some time now, the last time I got a perm was in high school, some odd 6-7 years ago. My hair thrived when it was relaxed because it required less heat to get it as straight to my liking. Now, I have to use a bit more heat (passes of flat iron, hot comb) to get it relaxer straight. My hair has suffered some heat damage to the ends as a result. I avoid heat much more now and my hair has never looked better and longer. My point is I think you need to find your hair's breaking point (no pun intended). For some, it's limiting your products, low manipulation, no direct heat or protective styling. Also, embrace your natural look! It look me a little time to figure this out, since I was just co-washing and putting my hair in a bun. Experiment with bantu-knot outs, twistouts or braidouts if you want to wear you hair down. Hope that helps...this has also been a journey for me too!

 

[Junebug D]

I feel you. There were no significant hair improvements being natural for me either. Being relaxed helps me see the damage sooner than I would see it as a natural, so that's one plus.

 

[My Friend]

Funny, I logged on to vent about the same issue It just seems like relaxed hair is easier to retain I have ssk and tangles waaaaay to often. My hair has to be stretched at all time for no ssk's to appear. I too long for straight swinging hair sometimes.

 

[hair4romheaven]

I am not natural but I do know my 4b type hair and if your hair is anything like mine it has to be stretched constantly or else I will get splits, knots etc..from styling even with low mani. type styles. When I say stretched I mean via braids, twists, curls etc with you own hair..especially while washing.
I noticed you said you love your curlies are you wearing your hair loose a lot. I am 10 mnths post and my roots swell so by end of day I can see (once fully natural) how that would be a mess to detangle, manage resulting in damage or split ends.

 

[xyra]

I somewhat understand what you are going through. I'm currently 11 months into my third transition attempt, but am contemplating texlaxing next week. In high school, I was fully relaxed and would basically wash my hair once every two weeks, never deep conditioned (only used regular conditioner in the shower for 2-3 mins), hardly ever slept with a scarf on at night, and was still able to have seemingly healthy APL hair with minimal effort. I'm a very low maintenence person and it seems as though I'm at the point in my transition where I am handling my hair way too much and miss the simplicity of my relaxed hair since I've become a DIYer.

I still feel as though you can have healthy hair regardless if you're relaxed or natural. It just comes down to whether or not you are personally able and willing to handle the level of care your hair texture needs.

 

[Tiye]

I was just thinking about this. When I was relaxed, I was not much of a "pj". I basically used pink oil and perm repair. My hair was thicker, and I had no split ends. I did not DC, nor PS. I did stretch my relaxers out of laziness. I am a natural now, and have been for years. But when I straighten my natural hair, it looks like my relaxed hair. Just thinner. I equate that to age. IDK. I do know that I will not relax anymore. But it did have me thinking...

You don't have to be a "pj". I'm natural and my routine is very boring. I've been using the same products for years. That's why I'm here - to pick up some tips and try some new things.

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

I somewhat understand what you are going through. I'm currently 11 months into my third transition attempt, but am contemplating texlaxing next week. In high school, I was fully relaxed and would basically wash my hair once every two weeks, never deep conditioned (only used regular conditioner in the shower for 2-3 mins), hardly ever slept with a scarf on at night, and was still able to have seemingly healthy APL hair with minimal effort. I'm a very low maintenence person and it seems as though I'm at the point in my transition where I am handling my hair way too much and miss the simplicity of my relaxed hair since I've become a DIYer.

I still feel as though you can have healthy hair regardless if you're relaxed or natural. It just comes down to whether or not you are personally able and willing to handle the level of care your hair texture needs.

If you're low maintenence that means that you simply have to research low maintenence styles for naturals....for example I'm a long haired COARSE tightly coily type 4a with high density hair (thick) and I have done nothing but wash/co-wash and go for the last month...why? Because I've had My Mini-Twists in. Another low maintenece style is Pixie Braids or the crochet braids in my siggy that has lasted me a month and a half before. All you have to do is do some searches ask some questions and make it work. Being natural is what you make of it. You can make it fit into any lifestyle....you just have to always be willing to learn new techniques and new styles....thats all

 

[***BlessedMom***]

I feel my hair was healthier relaxed. I treated it like crap and it was APL. I just knew going natural would have my hair to my behind.

I deal with splits on a regular and my constant trimming is hindering my growth. My hair is just about collarbone length and Ive been natural about 4 years now. Im now trying to stretch my hair with heat. Flat iron twice a month and hope that keeps it from tangly and splitting. I know Ill never go back to relaxers though.

I could have written this post!! I think my hair would be at least twice as long as it is now as a natural.

 

[taz007]

My hair is definitely healthier as a relaxed head. The proof is in the "pitchas"!

I have very coarse, super thick, 4b hair and I can say that I have no SSK (single strand knots) which were the bane of my existence and destroyed any progress that I was making.

Had I known of LHCF back then, things may have been different. But for now, I am VERY happy with the progress that I have been making

 

[Dee_33]

I feel what you're saying OP, I relaxed this weekend and I was 8 months post in the front and 1.5yrs post in the back, I missed my relaxed hair and I'm glad to have it back.

 

[KnitChick]

I can't tell you how happy I am to read your comments! @ least I know It's not just me! I automatically assumed that because my relaxed hair was healthy, that my natural hair would be just as healthy if not healthier.

I was completely thrown with all the damn split ends, the ssk's and "growth" especially since I have been protective styled for about 6 out if these 8 1/2 months

lol you all talked me off a ledge!

I'm motivated to be a bit more patient now...I'll tweak my reggie (hide my scissors) and have another hair analysis at 1 year and see where I am then

 

[karolmel]

I somewhat understand what you are going through. I'm currently 11 months into my third transition attempt, but am contemplating texlaxing next week. In high school, I was fully relaxed and would basically wash my hair once every two weeks, never deep conditioned (only used regular conditioner in the shower for 2-3 mins), hardly ever slept with a scarf on at night, and was still able to have seemingly healthy APL hair with minimal effort. I'm a very low maintenence person and it seems as though I'm at the point in my transition where I am handling my hair way too much and miss the simplicity of my relaxed hair since I've become a DIYer.

I still feel as though you can have healthy hair regardless if you're relaxed or natural. It just comes down to whether or not you are personally able and willing to handle the level of care your hair texture needs.

See this is what I'm wondering about. I haven't relaxed my hair in several months, haven't kept track, and I'm wondering about actually transitioning to natural vs. textlaxing.

I'm almost 41yo and my hair is thin with the relaxer, so I'm hoping that going natural will make it better. But, I'm not interested in battling with natural hair that tangles and looses length.

Thanks for the post!

 

[Lovelylife]

I thought that as a natural my hair would really thrive, but no matter what I did my hair was just constantly dry. I took much better care of my hair as a natural also. Now that I'm relaxed at finally my hair is retaining length. I think it's odd but that my hair.