Your Man Requests A Menage A Trois?

[naturalmanenyc]

This couple has been married for less than 2 years. The guy brought it up and she seemed open to it, at first. From what I'm told, she had relationships with women in the past.

How do you even respond to that kind of request?

 

[danniegirl]

When where why and how come it took so long for you to ask

 

[CarefreeinChicago]

Time to start looking for a new man. Unless your into that.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

Apparently it's not all that unusual. I should send him this article, but then he'd know DH told me. lol

http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/advice/a4307/threesome-sex-menage-a-trois-planning/

 

[OhTall1]

I'd probably tell him that I have a guy in mind that might be interested, and wait to see his reaction.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

That's what DH asked, if she wants another man would that be cool. The guy said no, since his wife is/was into women.

I'd probably tell him that I have a guy in mind that might be interested, and wait to see his reaction.

 

[Mai Tai]

Nah son. I'm not into those kinds of sexual antics and my husband knows that that request would be a huge deal breaker for me. I'm willing to try a lot of things but I draw the line at recruiting a third party.

 

[ElizaBlue]

Nosah.

 

[january noir]

See, now that's the type of conversation we would have had prior to marriage; if we were both open or not open to alternative lifestyles such as this.

 

[Kindheart]

I don't wanna sound judgemental but that's for the birds .
Whoever in their right mind knows a man asking you that doesn't particularly respect you .If he wants to include a woman ,you won't never be able to forget him pounding her in front of you,if it's with another man ,he cares so little doesn't mind another man sticking his manhood inside your vajay.

Wrong all around and the relationship in most cases won't last .

I also noticed the guys asking these things tend to be cheaters .

 

[Kindheart]

Apparently it's not all that unusual. I should send him this article, but then he'd know DH told me. lol

http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/advice/a4307/threesome-sex-menage-a-trois-planning/

To sum it up from article above :
"
I'm left feeling unsettled. I can't wait to shower. Sadly, I'm more conventional than I'd thought. In theory, I didn't mind sharing my husband for an afternoon. In practice, I was shaken up. I wasn't bored; I was bothered."

 

[Crystal22]

Men want the convenience of marriage with the fun of being single. And average men at that. Nope.

 

[C@ssandr@]

I don't wanna sound judgemental but that's for the birds .
Whoever in their right mind knows a man asking you that doesn't particularly respect you .If he wants to include a woman ,you won't never be able to forget him pounding her in front of you,if it's with another man ,he cares so little doesn't mind another man sticking his manhood inside your vajay.

Wrong all around and the relationship in most cases won't last .

I also noticed the guys asking these things tend to be cheaters .

I don't believe that part is entirely true. I do believe swinging and 3somes can be detrimental to the marriage. But there's a rare breed that do get away with this...all while being married 20 something years. There are some real freaks out there.

I will never forget reading a strawberry letter about a man who had a threesome with his wife and another woman. Things took a turn when the women became besties and starting shopping, doing girly stuff, and ultimately having sex w/o him. I think that particular case is hilarious.

 

[Kindheart]

I don't believe that part is entirely true. I do believe swinging and 3somes can be detrimental to the marriage. But there's a rare breed that do get away with this...all while being married 20 something years. There are some real freaks out there.

I will never forget reading a strawberry letter about a man who had a threesome with his wife and another woman. Things took a turn when the women became besties and starting shopping, doing girly stuff, and ultimately having sex w/o him. I think that particular case is hilarious.

I think the ones that are able to do these things without feeling anything have some deep emotional problems that causes them to lack empathy and disassociate/compartmentalize or mental disorders (sociopaths,narcissists,borderlines)

 

[C@ssandr@]

I think the ones that are able to do these things without feeling anything have some deep emotional problems that causes them to lack empathy and disassociate/compartmentalize (sociopaths,narcissists,borderlines)

Could totally be the case. Lots of people have issues though, so it's easy to lump the "freaks" altogether. I'm not even sure why I'm in here. I'm really not into this stuff.

I was asked to be in a threesome once. He wasn't even my man. Boy bye!

 

[Kindheart]

Could totally be the case. Lots of people have issues though, so it's easy to lump the "freaks" altogether. I'm not even sure why I'm in here. I'm really not into this stuff.

I was asked to be in a threesome once. He wasn't even my man. Boy bye!

Lol I feel you . I was asked a few times by non- bf and I gave them that "look" you know the "TF did you just ask me ?"i wasn't trying to be the popular Hoe,I respect myself enough not to do this .

 

[luckiestdestiny]

I'm celibate till marriage so I wish someone would with that b s. I am selective about who I'm with and men know that about that when the relationship advances to serious levels. And I'm not talking celibate but doing evvvvrrrythang else. I'm talking celibate sir. If you want me you are going to have to wait. My ex fiance did and I don't forsee others having a problem (he's an ex because of me breaking up. He is actually trying to convince me to get back with him so nothing about waiting turned him off). If I'm that selective in who I'm choosing, what makes any guy then have the audacity to bring someone else into the relationship? That is just a laugh and a half

I don't think they'd ever form those words in their mouth knowing me as I make sure nothing is unclear in that area. I want a guy who is selective and is okay with someone who is as well. I want a guy who wants to honor "us" and I don't think that would be honoring "us" by adding someone else into the equation. I want a guy who adores me, and I don't think that's adoring me if you need someone else to spice things up. Also knowing what I would and would not put up with, I don't forsee this happening and never has in any past relationships. I think a guy will only push what he thinks a woman will put up with, and also you have to be good at filtering out a holes in the first place so that nothing like this would happen. I think it takes a certain type of guy to try to push a woman into these situations. Everyone can say these relationships are fun but I've seen most swinging ones (the people I know) go wrong because to me there is something missing if you need to fill your life (and holes ) with other people.

But if it did I forsee it going something like this:

 

[londontresses]

Seen too many episodes of those shows on ID start like that so no.

 

[Foxglove]

That's what DH asked, if she wants another man would that be cool. The guy said no, since his wife is/was into women.

This says it all. Dude is a loser

 

[luckiestdestiny]

See, now that's the type of conversation we would have had prior to marriage; if we were both open or not open to alternative lifestyles such as this.

Exactly. I need to know what I am getting into. Don't go springing things on me.

 

[MD_Lady]

How would I respond? I'd say "sure, right after we bring a BIG man into our bed". Seriously, if you're not into women when he's not around, what on earth would possess him to ask you to bring another woman into the bed you share?

 

[okange76]

Newlyweds and he's already making these requests. The ink on the certificate is barely dry and he's already thinking of a third party? This dude is trifling and was trifling way before she married him. She's in for a world of hurt.

ETA: On the flip side, Dude is risking being dumped because she might rediscover her passion for women and leave him in the wind.

 

[PeaceFlow]

I have difficulty believing that this is the first time he mentioned it. Many times men say things to women as "a joke" early on, but they are actually trying to feel things out. Then they will come with a serious request later in the relationship/marriage.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

At 2 years or less I would have taken that request as the beginning of the end.

I honestly don't see how you're that bored of each other that early on.

 

[MuziqizLyfe]

I am forever against these situations since my best friend became a third party to a married couple (they started when the couple was engaged) The husband fell in love with her, head over heels! In certain positions where the wife can't see he would mouth "I love you so much baby" He called /txt her all the time saying he would get a room so they could be alone If you are married, I don't care for how long...I think it's a big mistake.

 

[Mortons]

There are tons of couples who love swinging and have 3 somes...still together to this day. But the difference is they were already clear about this from the very inception of their relationship. I dont see sexual fantasies as an issue, but you cant marry someone who has "traditional sexual values" and expect this type of treatment. Its unfair.

 

[msbettyboop]

Sure if it's with another guy and I get to recruit him and if I end up liking his banana more than yours, I'm allowed to continue the activity outside the menage a anti-christ collaboration....

 

[MuziqizLyfe]

There are tons of couples who love swinging and have 3 somes...still together to this day. But the difference is they were already clear about this from the very inception of their relationship. I dont see sexual fantasies as an issue, but you cant marry someone who has "traditional sexual values" and expect this type of treatment. Its unfair.

I think it can work when the woman isn't doing it for the man...to feed his fantasy. The situation I know of, it was clear the woman wouldn't have initiated it. I think you just don't know the dynamics you may be adding to your relationship when you do this (in a marriage I think reg relationships are diff and can do whatever) so it's a risk not just for infidelity but health wise too. Cuz I know my friend was smashing other dudes and doing this couple...

 

[abcd09]

Apparently it's not all that unusual. I should send him this article, but then he'd know DH told me. lol

http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/advice/a4307/threesome-sex-menage-a-trois-planning/

what's most interesting about this article is the responses lol. most of the women are like, "my word! well i never! you are pathetic!" and most of the men are all "sounds nice! thanks for sharing" . I wonder what that says about sexuality.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

https://longhaircareforum.com/threads/so-its-like-that-now.765451/page-4#post-21624045

This couple is looking for TWO women to service the husband and wife as well as take care of the kids/chores.