Your man just cheated on you

[sky_blu]

I'd have to admit I'd feel better if she was an upgrade from myself rather than a whore. But either way he'd still be GONE! So I guess in the end it dont matter.

 

[kokodiva524]

Any of the options will lead to violence.

On a good day, with sedatives involved, I can maybe see the "logic" of preferring a pro over someone he'd be emotionally vested in. The pros in my frame of reference are not the average street worker. They're required to undergo more health tests than any one of us. So I can see how under certain circumstances that option might perhaps... maybe... somehow... be a comfort to the person being cheated on.

I know that's right!!!

 

[SleekandBouncy]

All the options are pretty bad actually. Is there an option for random chick from work?

Prostitute would suggest that he had a sexual obsession, peculiarity that he didn't feel he could broach with me. A prostitute is specifically for sex, therefore I would wonder what he was not getting from me. Not to mention the whole concept of him sleeping with a woman who is exposed to various nekkid penises and potential diseases on a daily basis, that would gross me out. It's also extremely premeditated, he can't claim he "feel" into the situation. A prostitute is specifically for one thing, sex.

ETA: The townho-bag is again premeditated, the side girlfriend is not only premeditated, but it suggests the dude just has absolutely no conscious in that regard.

 

[winterinatl]

Dang, who bumped?

I still kinda feel like the pro is better...cheating is awful and painful but....I liken it to this: If I've been LEFT by my man, and he sleeps with the next chick, I'd feel worse if he was in a full blown relationship/got married rather than just slept around to sow his oats. Still sex. But that relationship there....that is the kicker. And after watching lots of Dr. Phil's where the cheated on spouse asks "Did you love her?" and cries ten times harder when aye, he did, that sort of answers the question for me.

Paynus and poosay together is one thing, one plus one, but love? Naw son. That would hurt way more IMO.

 

[ArrrBeee]

Either way I will be calling the police on myself. They might as well be here to witness the beatdown first hand.

 

[envybeauty]

i believe there are just some things in life where it's not either/or.



to be a crack addict or a meth addict erplexed

to lose my grandfather in a flood or a fire erplexed

to have my man with a sidepiece or a prostitute erplexed



some things i just can't rationalize......and ...i don't understand why others would want to either.

 

[cocoberry10]

It doesnt matter. wrong is wrong is wrong.

EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[chichibean]

i believe there are just some things in life where it's not either/or.



to be a crack addict or a meth addict erplexed

to lose my grandfather in a flood or a fire erplexed

to have my man with a sidepiece or a prostitute erplexed



some things i just can't rationalize......and ...i don't understand why others would want to either.

That's right!!! A drug addict is a drug addict and a cheater is a cheater! At the end of the day... does it really matter why?

 

[barbiesocialite]

i would rather no cheating....however, I would pick the town slutbag because it's easier to stomach knowing that some ***** is just vicious and predatory versus your spouse wandering about in search of a good times.

Also, having a gf on the side means that there is likely some emotional infidelity going on and that is worse than having sex outside your relationship imo

 

[SleekandBouncy]

I forget what my original answer is to this mature thread, but is there an option for "beat down regardless"?

 

[winterinatl]

I forget what my original answer is to this mature thread, but is there an option for "beat down regardless"?

Everyone answers that it doesn't matter, cheating is cheating, yeah, but for real I think when married, in love, with children, most would be less likely to leave him over a pro than an actual side wifey.

I also think that we can't really say what we'd do until we actually get there. Well, we can "say" but things might actually go differently than what we thought.

But uh, yeah a negro and his fellow negress on the side gonna get kicked in the throat....

 

[SleekandBouncy]

Everyone answers that it doesn't matter, cheating is cheating, yeah, but for real I think when married, in love, with children, most would be less likely to leave him over a pro than an actual side wifey.

I also think that we can't really say what we'd do until we actually get there. Well, we can "say" but things might actually go differently than what we thought.

But uh, yeah a negro and his fellow negress on the side gonna get kicked in the throat....

I think even if a woman stays her man needs to think she was this ---> <----- close to leaving him. That's what a man told me. If they feel like it was easy then...
It's like fire, why don't we touch fire? Because it will burn. Why don't we want to cheat on Sleekandbouncy? Because she will step a whole in some testicles.

 

[Syrah]

Would you rather he did it with a prostitute, or with some other chick?

I was reading a thread on the relationship forum, (the*Nsync thread) where a woman walked in on her man and a whore. For some reason I thought "well at least he didn't plan on carrying a whole relationship on the side". I know that sex outside of the relationship is very dangerous regardless, but emotionally, would you feel any better if it were a prostitute (no strings) or if he was "seeing someone else"? Would it even matter to you?

I'd like to add: I had a male friend once that commented on a basketball player getting caught with his pants down with a pro. He was married. My friend said "He did the right thing, though". I was like, WTf!!? He explained that he didn't give his love and time to another woman, just paid a pro one time to get sucked off so he was doing the right thing....

I picked "it doesn't matter, he sexed another" but it would help knowing if she was the complete opposite of me, or at least dissimilar to me than in a couple of crucial areas.

Because if her and I are very similar, then it points to something specific in ME...

 

[erokawa]

There is nothing that would make me feel better about being cheated on.

 

[camilla]

THREE WORDS AIDS AIDS AIDS

 

[camilla]

THATS WHY WE HAVE THE HIGHEST CASES OF HIV IN THE U.S I AM MARRIED I DONT CARE IS IT WAS ONE TIME WITH PROTECTION ETC.... CONDOMS CAD BRAKE COME OFF ETC...... NO MAN IS WORTH GIVIG ME A DISEASE THAT WOULD TAKE ME AWAY FROM MY BOYS

 

[Golong]

ranking the two saddens me. It goes to show how women,particuarly black women, will devalue themselves and excuse unacceptable behavior for the sake of having/keeping a man.

 

[Princess4real]

ranking the two saddens me. It goes to show how women,particuarly black women, will devalue themselves and excuse unacceptable behavior for the sake of having/keeping a man.

I totally agree!!!

 

[nappysunflowers]

Honestly, it could have been a prostitute, domantrix, hoodrat, stripper, intern at the office, bottom line he cheated. If it was paid for or alledgely free, he will pay for it...because Karma is a beeyotch...

 

[MizAvalon]

It wouldn't matter to me, it's all bad.

I think an old girlfriend might hurt more than anything though.

 

[Almaz]

What this does not even justify a response this is not rational cheating is wrong no matter who it is

 

[MoniintheMiddle]

I think even if a woman stays her man needs to think she was this ---> <----- close to leaving him. That's what a man told me. If they feel like it was easy then....

ITA with the bolded

 

[Detroit2Dallas]

What this does not even justify a response this is not rational cheating is wrong no matter who it is

ITA!! I looked at the title and the poll like

 

[princessnad]

ranking the two saddens me. It goes to show how women,particuarly black women, will devalue themselves and excuse unacceptable behavior for the sake of having/keeping a man.

Um have you been around women of other races?

 

[Kerryann]

Its still just wrong im sorry but he deserves an arse whooping if he pays for a prostitute

 

[newbiemom]

Both would sting, but it would hurt worse if it was a relationship with feelings involved rather than a place to pop off and leave. jmho.

 

[zazzi]

I voted it doesn't matter...

However, I was in this situation some years ago. My boyfriend was cheating on me with his ex who he'd gotten back with after he and I got together. It wasn't just sex, they were in a relationship. Eventually things changed, he and I got back together, and we are still together. My friends couldn't understand why, but my thing is/was this: while another relationship takes time, feelings, etc., the chances of him repeating that with another are slim. OTOH, if he just had sex with some random person, there is a greater chance of that reoccurring, and the ability to trust again is slim.

ETA: It goes without saying that it HURT like nobody's business. I wished he didn't care about her... etc etc, but I was able to get past it because it wasn't just a fling.