Young Girls and Damaged Hair:WARNING this may be controversial

[streets]

Ladies,
I wanted to post a thread on the number of young girls (9-16) who are walking around with no hairline or girls walking around with little to no hair at all due to poor styling choices like tight weaves and braids. What's worse is seeing these girls walk around with their hair wrapped or in those fake louis vuitton scarveserplexed Do these girls know how tacky they look? What about self-esteem and image? Why do many -I'm especially citing women of color here- allow themselves to look so raggety????? Is it lack of knowledge about hair care? Is it parental neglect??? What's your opinion on this issue?

 

[SunnyDelight]

IMO most of it is lack of knowledge. I did some pretty damaging things to my hair too before truly understanding the nature of haircare. So many of them are probably being told that their hair can't/won't grow so they do what they have to do in order to get the look they want.

 

[cutiebe2]

I thinks lots of them know that their hair is becomming damaged but are not willing to sacrifice style for healthy hair. In school if you do a style that is not straigt ot is made to promote health instead of fashion you may be picked on

 

[natstar]

I think it's lack of knowledge. My mother even has lack of knowledge on haircare. I used to be one of those girls w/really damaged hair. It was sooo obvious. But I didn't know any better, I was frustrated, and I just thought that I just didn't have "good hair" so there was really nothing I could do about it.

As I grew older I got frustrated and cut my hair to a TWA. I grew it out-and still damaged it by dry combing/not conditioning etc. Then I got locs for length and I was glad that I didn't have to worry about too much. Then I got bored so I unraveled my locs. I wanted longer, healthier loose natural hair but was at a loss about how to style it so in college I started researching webistes and eventually I found this site via nappturality.

I am glad that I am more knowledgeable about hair now. It still is a process but I do wish I knew back then what I know now. But honestly, back then this site didn't exist and there was no one to teach me

 

[Fine 4s]

Many issues influence what you've referenced but in general it's lack of knowledge as someone already mentioned. Even the parents might not know and subscribe to the same theory of black hair not growing. We simply don't know.

However, I don't agree with this statement "What's worse is seeing these girls walk around with their hair wrapped or in those fake louis vuitton scarves Do these girls know how tacky they look? What about self-esteem and image?" Better yet, I don't see the absolute connection between the wrapped hair, Louis Vuitton scarves and self-esteem.

 

[KPH]

first may be lack of knowledge, second may be parent neglect. I don't blame children for their appearances. They are not the ones buying and supplying for themselves. My friend's sister neglected her son to no end. when I was teenager I would take my lil money and buy him shorts and t-shirts and gymshoes, I would bath him and feed him and send him back outside. The neglect was so strong they wouldn't even come looking for him. Today that boy is 19 and he still calls me. Somebody needs to step in and take time out with these kids.

 

[Neith]

Honestly most black people don't know how to care for their hair.

I didn't know before I did research. I would assume that most people here didn't know either.

What really bothers me is... WHY don't more people learn in this day and age where information is so readily available?

I think that many feel that this is just the way nappy hair is and don't have the confidence to believe that they can have nice hair.

 

[Tamrin]

What a lot do not get is a lot of these girl's hair are being careed for by people who themselves do no know how to care for their hair. They are taught hair is to look cute but not taught how to properly care for their hair. If you want to see horror walk by a school in as predominatly black area. Make you want to whip out a moisturizer and start holding them down and moisturize them all.

 

[SunnyDelight]

Better yet, I don't see the absolute connection between the wrapped hair, Louis Vuitton scarves and self-esteem.

My question too. What is the connection? Are we really checking for "fake stuff" on young girls?

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Ladies,
I wanted to post a thread on the number of young girls (9-16) who are walking around with no hairline or girls walking around with little to no hair at all due to poor styling choices like tight weaves and braids. What's worse is seeing these girls walk around with their hair wrapped or in those fake louis vuitton scarveserplexed Do these girls know how tacky they look? What about self-esteem and image? Why do many -I'm especially citing women of color here- allow themselves to look so raggety????? Is it lack of knowledge about hair care? Is it parental neglect??? What's your opinion on this issue?

I'm a little confused.... are you talking about mainly the lack of hair on young girls, or are you addressing the issue of how some young women of color look "raggety" at times?

If it's about hair....then I agree, it's a lack of knowledge. Even my mom doesn't know much about how to do her own hair (she relies solely on stylists and only does her own hair when she wants to color or perm it herself), and she grew up in the suburbs! lol* Then again, that could be why she didn't grow up knowing much about BLACK hair, because in the area she grew up in, it was predominantly white. So she has always been worried about my hair not being "fully" relaxed. I just think in general though, black women don't have adequate knowlege about hair care period. I know I didn't really know much about hair care myself until I got to college and actually started reading hair books, doing research on the internet, and frequenting hair boards such as this one.

Now if we're talking about young women of color looking "raggety", that is a different story all together. I really don't know why some of our young women choose to look like guys, or don't like to put forth much effort to look feminine. Again, it could be just the upbringing. Maybe they didn't see their mothers putting forth much effort to look nice and feminine, so they didn't follow suit. As black women, we have it hard sometimes. Especially if there is not a father/male figure in the household. I think some black women grow up not knowing how to look like WOMEN for men. It really is sad..... It could also be a lack of knowlege or socio-economic status. I notice that women of color with higher socio-economic status tend to put forth more effort in their wardrobe and looking nice. I think that when you have less money/deeper issues to deal with, the LAST thing on your mind is getting a pedicure, or figuring out which new dress to buy at Macy's.

Then again....maybe a lot of our women are depressed and just don't know it....

 

[NYAmicas]

I agree with the posters that said it has to do with lack of knowledge. You could probably literally knock some of the girls you speak of with a feather if you told them, long healthy hair is attainable for them. Coming here, I had to change the way I thought about my hair and change all I had thought I knew up to that point.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Many issues influence what you've referenced but in general it's lack of knowledge as someone already mentioned. Even the parents might not know and subscribe to the same theory of black hair not growing. We simply don't know.

However, I don't agree with this statement "What's worse is seeing these girls walk around with their hair wrapped or in those fake louis vuitton scarves Do these girls know how tacky they look? What about self-esteem and image?" Better yet, I don't see the absolute connection between the wrapped hair, Louis Vuitton scarves and self-esteem.

Yeah, I dont' get it either. I've had my hair wrapped and in a scarf maybe a couple of times but that was only because I was going on a trip and my hair needed to be on point when I got to my destination. My hair sucks up humidity like a sponge, so I couldnt' risk my hair looking like crap by the time I got to my destination. On a whole, I don't see anything wrong with wearing the scarves if it's for hair protection purposes. But yes, I do also sort of see what the OP is saying about wearing these scarves in public to hide damaged hair. I don't think it's all that "feminine" to wear head scarves in public either, but I don't know if this has anything to do with self-esteem. I dont' know....

 

[stormy07]

OT: natstar I love your siggy pic!

but no I think it's lack of knowledge....because I know when I was about..hmm 5-7 years old I had longgggg puffy hair....at least BSL.....but my mom didn't know how to really care for it (she's white) so she would just dry comb it...(and I was a tender headed little bugger) and either leave it in a puffy pony or whatnot....then when I was about 9 I think she put just for me on my hair......twice.....bye bye bsl.....it got cut to shoulder length...then in middle school i just gave up kept it in a ponytail...couldn't take care of it...and ended up with fist size mats in my hair til I was in high school and I had my first relaxer...it took them a day to comb my hair out then the relaxed it the next day and then I got a relaxer every year....til the end of high school....
my second year of college my hair got uber damaged again so I had it cut really really short but then it had to be high maintenence cuz I had to flat iron it like every day but then I started experimenting with my hair natural and finally started to appreciate the natural bipolarness and realizing that my hair is happiest when I let it do what it wants...

so yeah I'd said lack of knowledge and maybe lack of resources....because let's face it.. young girls aren't going to do in depth research on how to care for their hair if there's an easy way out (wrap it in a scarf or braids or weave)


dang nab it I'm rambling again....sorry

 

[ladylibra]

good googly-moogly, this thread is bringing up everything BUT hair y'all are killing me.

i hope no one is passing these judgements on me when i throw on a baggy T-shirt and men's long basketball shorts to ride my bike to work... i certainly don't put forth any effort to look "feminine" then. i guess i don't look too raggety though, cuz my bummy bike clothes have Nike logos on them so at least it's name-brand and not the "fake"

i rarely wear make-up or get manicures/pedicures on the regular, rarely wear jewelry, never wear lacy crap. i don't see why i should pay big bucks to advertise for a clothing company... shouldn't it be the other way around? sorry if not all my stuff is name-brand, i buy things because i like how they look not what the label on it says. and yes my mother is super-girly, but that crap ain't for me. i've never had any problems landing a man just because i was a tomboy.

if anything, i see these young girls trying to look TOO WOMANLY, not like boys. cleaveage and butt cheeks and super-tight clothes on 80% of them.

back on topic... y'all probably already know how i feel about the hair. and since most of you have already touched on that, i'll take my rantings elsewhere

 

[MrsWatson]

good googly-moogly, this thread is bringing up everything BUT hair y'all are killing me.

i hope no one is passing these judgements on me when i throw on a baggy T-shirt and men's long basketball shorts to ride my bike to work... i certainly don't put forth any effort to look "feminine" then. i guess i don't look too raggety though, cuz my bummy bike clothes have Nike logos on them so at least it's name-brand and not the "fake"

i rarely wear make-up or get manicures/pedicures on the regular, rarely wear jewelry, never wear lacy crap. i don't see why i should pay big bucks to advertise for a clothing company... shouldn't it be the other way around? sorry if not all my stuff is name-brand, i buy things because i like how they look not what the label on it says. and yes my mother is super-girly, but that crap ain't for me. i've never had any problems landing a man just because i was a tomboy.

if anything, i see these young girls trying to look TOO WOMANLY, not like boys. cleaveage and butt cheeks and super-tight clothes on 80% of them.

back on topic... y'all probably already know how i feel about the hair. and since most of you have already touched on that, i'll take my rantings elsewhere

I agree....100%
The whole fake Louis Vuitton scarf thing threw me off...

 

[sydney100]

Dont beat the girls up too bad. It is lack of knowledge. Me personally, I grew up with a single dad who knew nothing of hair care. So I did the best I could with the limited knowledge I had- which was none. If these young girls don't have anyone in their house practicing good hair taking strategies, where do you think they're gonna learn it from? It wasn't until I was 30 years old did I learn about properly moisturizing my hair.

 

[mrsjohnson75]

I'm agreeing with everyone who said LACK OF KNOWLEDGE. I JUST learned how to care for my hair 2 years ago thanks to LHCF and I'm 32 years old. . My mom tried to take care of it but she has a lack of knowledge also. So I don't think the parents neglect their daughter's hair most of the time they just don't know how to care for it.

 

[soonergirl]

I agree its lack of knowledge... How many of yall have seen little babies with rubber banded plats pulling at their hair line??? I just want to grab those babies and take those too-tight plaits out!!! Argh cant their mother's see the bumps and redness and that their little girls hair lines are being pulled out???? Ok, Im sorry that is just a pet peeve of mine.... I personally grew up with a mother with 2c-3a hair and had no clue how to do 4a hair.... My hair was a mess growing up!!! She eventually learned how to press, and then I took over and ruined it again..... lack of knowledge!!!!

 

[BrooklynSouth]

Ladies,
I wanted to post a thread on the number of young girls (9-16) who are walking around with no hairline or girls walking around with little to no hair at all due to poor styling choices like tight weaves and braids. What's worse is seeing these girls walk around with their hair wrapped or in those fake louis vuitton scarveserplexed Do these girls know how tacky they look? What about self-esteem and image? Why do many -I'm especially citing women of color here- allow themselves to look so raggety????? Is it lack of knowledge about hair care? Is it parental neglect??? What's your opinion on this issue?

Lack of knowledge from many sides. Look at the many adult women who do not know or believe healthy hair is possible, it's all about THE STYLE. Ever tried to educate an adult about her hair? Most times you'll be brushed off. Adults don't want your 'help' unless you work in a salon...so imagine trying to educate a child with limited attention span.

 

[SimpleKomplexity]

I just went along with it. Yes my hair was damaged. Yes I had no edges (that was baby hair) but yall I felt like my hair would enver grow. It would never get longer or healthier so I really didn't care what I did to it. Screw it. It'll just stay the same anyway. Once I learned better. Everything got better

 

[YvonneL]

Parental Neglect!I lived with my dad from age 9 to 15. I permed my own hair at 12 and I had no one to suggest a thing,( my stepmother was from australia so totally different types there). I guess I didnt really care.

 

[LaPetiteCoquette]

But I don't understand the lack of knowledge thing. Isn't it incumbent on mothers to comb, wash, and take care of their daughters hair? Redo their braids and hair, make sure there's no lint and dirt. No little girl (of any race) is born knowing how to take care of themselves as far as I know. Isn't it part of caring for your daughter to do these simple things for her? In fact, a lot of members on here long for the hair they had when they were young (myself included). So, is this a lack of knowledge on the mother's part rather than the daughter's part? And what does lack of knowledge have to do with washing hair when it's dirty, or picking lint out, or redoing hair, or not pulling a baby's hair so tight that there are red spots on the scalp?

My 3B mom had not a clue what to do with my 4B/zzz hair. But she never let me walk out looking a mess ... ever. When she couldn't do it, she let one of my daddy's sisters (I get my hair from that side of the family) do it. Or she paid for someone to braid it. And she always washed my hair, always made sure it was clean, ends were tucked in, etc. Her daughter (me) was a reflection of her. What happened to that part of it?

Please don't take offense to anything I said. I am just writing my opinion.

 

[Riverwalk]

As many stated, I believe it is lack of knowledge.

Fortunately, with the internet, and wonderful websites like LHCF, I think this lack of knowledge can change.

As a child, I too was victim to lack of knowledge. Luckily, my parents cared enough about hair to keep in good condition. Unfortunately, the pressures of lazy stylists in my area gave way, and I was influenced by their lack of knowledge. Case and point -- they thought it would be a good idea to get a texturizer in my hair even though I was in the pool everyday, and I had my hair in braids. Since I didn't know any better (and my parents didn't either since the stylists were "complaining" about my hair), I thought it was a great idea. In hindsight, they were just too lazy to care for my thick hair and really didn't care about its overall health.

Now, if LHCF had been around then, I would have known that there was 'nothing' wrong with my hair. Thick natural hair is LOVELY and can grow! (Even though my hair was long, the stylists thought I was some type of miracle child and they couldn't handle it).

ETA: I really, really think geographic location plays a big part here. Where I grew up, everyone and their mama had a relaxer since like...birth I was different because I didn't have a relaxer during a period in which most people in my area did.

 

[leona2025]

good googly-moogly, this thread is bringing up everything BUT hair y'all are killing me.

i hope no one is passing these judgements on me when i throw on a baggy T-shirt and men's long basketball shorts to ride my bike to work... i certainly don't put forth any effort to look "feminine" then. i guess i don't look too raggety though, cuz my bummy bike clothes have Nike logos on them so at least it's name-brand and not the "fake"

i rarely wear make-up or get manicures/pedicures on the regular, rarely wear jewelry, never wear lacy crap. i don't see why i should pay big bucks to advertise for a clothing company... shouldn't it be the other way around? sorry if not all my stuff is name-brand, i buy things because i like how they look not what the label on it says. and yes my mother is super-girly, but that crap ain't for me. i've never had any problems landing a man just because i was a tomboy.

if anything, i see these young girls trying to look TOO WOMANLY, not like boys. cleaveage and butt cheeks and super-tight clothes on 80% of them.

back on topic... y'all probably already know how i feel about the hair. and since most of you have already touched on that, i'll take my rantings elsewhere

ITA. I think the problem is most people don't know that they aren't taking good care of their hair. My mom grew my hair out to waist length. She used Pink Oil Moisturizer, Blue Magic Grease, and Gover's Mane which for some reason we called Dog Mane??. My hair was washed maybe 1 time every few months. Conditioner hadn't heard of it. It was healthy no damage and natural. I had to beg for a relaxer and when I got one neither of us knew how to take care of it. I'm only just learning now.

I believe there's a lot of pressure on everyone to always look good so it's not just young girls walking around with damaged hair. We should look good for ourselves and not to attract a man or to be accepted. Young girls grow up into women who have the same poor hair care and teach it to their on daughters. Also I think wearing wraps and scarves is the same as wearing rollers in your hair in public. It's a personal choice. Sometimes I do that so that my hair won't falling by the time I go where i'm going.

 

[loveable37]

I think (YOUNG LADIES/WOMENS)simply dont care about their appearance are themselves to walk out the house with scalves on comin to a doctor apt like tah.I see it all the time lack of money/time/low selfeesteem

I use to have short hair, but i kept me some gel/grease&water for a quck hair style.But these (days/time) womens walkin around hair nappy all over their head with scalves on lookin like headin to the BEAIUTY SUPPLY STORE for a fake ponytail instead of buy PRODUCTS to properly care for their own hair i dont understand .erplexed

My husband NIECES constantly puttin MICROBRAIDS in their hair like its a game WEAVE LAYING HERE/THERE i never saw any shampoo /condition nothin but sprintz and grease then when i come around they wanna put they hands in my head sayin u got a indian in yall family i say yes keep on goin what use in me explain when it want do no good erplexed

 

[HeChangedMyName]

Ladies,
I wanted to post a thread on the number of young girls (9-16) who are walking around with no hairline or girls walking around with little to no hair at all due to poor styling choices like tight weaves and braids. What's worse is seeing these girls walk around with their hair wrapped or in those fake louis vuitton scarveserplexed Do these girls know how tacky they look? What about self-esteem and image? Why do many -I'm especially citing women of color here- allow themselves to look so raggety????? Is it lack of knowledge about hair care? Is it parental neglect??? What's your opinion on this issue?

Up to at least age 12, it's the mama's fault or grandma or whoever is raising the child. I personally don't think that any child deserves to wear weave or extensions of any sort. Their hair is still not fully developed and the chemicals in the weave/extensions as well as the pulling can cause severe damage. I would rather see a little girl in some straight back cornrows rather than any weave or scarf on any day.

 

[Fine 4s]

As many stated, I believe it is lack of knowledge.

Fortunately, with the internet, and wonderful websites like LHCF, I think this lack of knowledge can change.

As a child, I too was victim to lack of knowledge. Luckily, my parents cared enough about hair to keep in good condition. Unfortunately, the pressures of lazy stylists in my area gave way, and I was influenced by their lack of knowledge. Case and point -- they thought it would be a good idea to get a texturizer in my hair even though I was in the pool everyday, and I had my hair in braids. Since I didn't know any better (and my parents didn't either since the stylists were "complaining" about my hair), I thought it was a great idea. In hindsight, they were just too lazy to care for my thick hair and really didn't care about its overall health.

Now, if LHCF had been around then, I would have known that there was 'nothing' wrong with my hair. Thick natural hair is LOVELY and can grow! (Even though my hair was long, the stylists thought I was some type of miracle child and they couldn't handle it).

ETA: I really, really think geographic location plays a big part here. Where I grew up, everyone and their mama had a relaxer since like...birth I was different because I didn't have a relaxer during a period in which most people in my area did.

HOLD UP....that bun is HOT! How you do it?

 

[BklynHeart]

A lot of times mothers do take care of their kids hair up until the age of 13. For some reason, some girls feel the hairstyles their moms give them are too 'babyish' and would rather do their own heads. My neice had beautiful long natural hair until the age of 14. She wanted a relaxer and to do her hair herself. Now its shoulder length and thin. I was the same way, my hair was nice and healthy until the 10th grade. Went and chopped it off to the latest hairstyles, streaked it, everything.

 

[LadyKaypnyc]

I think it's a combination of lack of knowledge and parental neglect. I can't count the amount of times I've seen a woman walking around with some nice hair, while her child looks a H.A.M

My mother knew absolutely nothing about hair, so she either kept it braided, or took me to someone (mostly family members) who did. Before my neice was born, my sister relied on a hairdresser to do her hair, b/c she was just as clueless as my mother, now, she goes out of her way to learn as much as she can about proper hair care.

I also think that people value style and length (regardless of how damaged) over healthy.

 

[carib_n_curly]

i see them all over my college and when i try and help or give friendly advice i get that look my hair didn't get healthy over nigth.

it's a lack of knowledge and killing there hair for the next big hair trend thank goodness soo many girl did that whole rihannah bob cause i saw soo mnay girl get rid of their damages ends it won't stay that way .

i see and increasing amont of white girls doing the same as a group asain seem to have it down a rarely see and unhealhy head of hair on an asain person only if thet are old thinning but still they rest of it still looks nice.

i want to help every one that is my friend which i'm trying to do hope they listen.