"You sounds like a three-time divorcee!"

[manter26]

I think consciously she wants one, but perhaps she has some subconscious blocks as well. She once returned a guy's phone call with an email. Who does that?

I didn't mean my post as a call someone out type thing... Sometimes I just wonder if we do things because society conditions us to do them or if it's something we really want. It's sort of an actions speak louder than words type thing. And @glibgirl I still think you are very young. I thought you were much older because of where you are in your career and the tone of your relationship posts. There's still time to have it all, you just have to want it.

 

[firecracker]

Actually I never encouraged it but we did have premature sex talk. Which I tried to avoid. I didn't like that he kept doing it. I complained about it and realized it wasn't going beyond that. We don't communicate as much because I realized it's all he wants to do and that's not the type of guy I want.

If we were in a relationship, everyone now and then would be fun but before a date. NAH! Anyway, it's a lesson learned.

Thxs for replying CurlyMoo. Please don't entertain those types of men. Its a clear indicator of jackarseness and disrespect if a man brings up sex prematurely or always tries to elude to sex in every conversation. Believe me jackarses like that don't change they stay the same. Some even get married and will try that bs on any woman they can get into a conversation with. Stop them dead in their tracks and move on!!!

 

[Glib Gurl]

Glib, I've been here for a few years and I from reading some of your posts, you don't really come off as someone who wants to be married or in a long term relationship. If that's not a priority, that's cool too. I don't think that's something you can force because you end up with someone of low quality. I don't think waiting around is the answer. A change of outlook and approaching dating with a more positive outlook would do wonders.

Is being in a relationship important to you?

I think consciously she wants one, but perhaps she has some subconscious blocks as well. She once returned a guy's phone call with an email. Who does that?

I didn't mean my post as a call someone out type thing... Sometimes I just wonder if we do things because society conditions us to do them or if it's something we really want. It's sort of an actions speak louder than words type thing. And @glibgirl I still think you are very young. I thought you were much older because of where you are in your career and the tone of your relationship posts. There's still time to have it all, you just have to want it.

I actualkly do want a relationship (and to get married and the whole nine), but Vev is right in that I have some subconcious issues that are blocking me from really moving forward. I am working with a therapist on those things....

I guess part of the problem is that I am spoiled in every other area of my life - I live for instant gratification. So when it comes to relationships, I want to skip all the front-end, BS work of getting to know each other and just happily wind up in that "comfortable" phase where you are with your man and everything is good.

I actually had a conversation with a friend who is 36 the other day and she pointed out that in this area (Washington, DC) its not unusual at all for folks to settle down later . . . I just get very anxious about it . . . I mean, it took me 30 years to even find a real relationship (Dutch Chocolate) - will it take me another 30 to find "the one" Nah. It's all good. I am going to be okay. Just need to take it one step at a time. And I'm probably going to start reading this.

 

[Glib Gurl]

Doesn't sounds like a 3x divorcee because you may never make to the alter with these types of options. Glib I feel the same way, which is why I put the brakes on internet dating. Seems to be loserville for the socially inept.

But even offline men and women have this disconnect because we don't know how to be real with each other. I've been stood up and dissed too and I've done my share of that myself. I simply don't like most of these men, they just seem too pussyfied, inept, spineless, mechanical and lacking substance.

I know this can't be all men, so I am backing away from dating to work my own insecurities and find other ways of meeting the type of men that I like. Because the common denominator in all this is me. I need to choose better venues to meet the type of men I like.

There is a guy I tried to get a date with but all he wants to do is masturbate on cam while I watch. All the while claiming he wants to seriously date a woman. But he cancels our dates. I stopped watching, he stopped contacting me. I told my sister that the last guy who blew me off after saying he wanted to see me again for our 3rd date made me feel like there was something wrong with me. She said, "Girl!! There ain't nothing wrong with you!!" Glib there is nothing wrong with you! We are going to have to wade through this until we strike gold.

Good luck to you and the rest of us.

Amen and amen! *lol* Thanks for responding.

 

[NappyNelle]

Oh, you're in DC... I understand your frustration and agree that working on your subconscious blocks will lead you to find the type of man that you want.

Dating is hard if you want a meaningful relationship, but it is worth the time and effort when you find something that makes you happy by just being themselves. Good luck girl! You will get there.

 

[hopeful]

I actualkly do want a relationship (and to get married and the whole nine), but Vev is right in that I have some subconcious issues that are blocking me from really moving forward. I am working with a therapist on those things....

Glib, the subconscious is no joke, very sneaky, screwing people up on the down low. So happy you are working with a therapist on this. I wish you the best lady.

 

[CurlyMoo]

Thxs for replying @CurlyMoo. Please don't entertain those types of men. Its a clear indicator of jackarseness and disrespect if a man brings up sex prematurely or always tries to elude to sex in every conversation. Believe me jackarses like that don't change they stay the same. Some even get married and will try that bs on any woman they can get into a conversation with. Stop them dead in their tracks and move on!!!

I try not to entertain him, but sometimes I get a little lonely. Anyway, we hadn't spoken in a while and when we IM he goes on cam naked. I was like UGH!! We haven't spoken in a month and this?!! I realize he's not serious, that's all he's good for. So enough! Basta! No Mas!

 

[UmSumayyah]

I actualkly do want a relationship (and to get married and the whole nine), but Vev is right in that I have some subconcious issues that are blocking me from really moving forward. I am working with a therapist on those things....

I guess part of the problem is that I am spoiled in every other area of my life - I live for instant gratification. So when it comes to relationships, I want to skip all the front-end, BS work of getting to know each other and just happily wind up in that "comfortable" phase where you are with your man and everything is good.

I actually had a conversation with a friend who is 36 the other day and she pointed out that in this area (Washington, DC) its not unusual at all for folks to settle down later . . . I just get very anxious about it . . . I mean, it took me 30 years to even find a real relationship (Dutch Chocolate) - will it take me another 30 to find "the one" Nah. It's all good. I am going to be okay. Just need to take it one step at a time. And I'm probably going to start reading this.

Very true. There were about 10 other couples in our childbirth class besides me and dh and our friends. Those other ten couples were all 39-42 year old newlyweds on their first kid, and it seemed like half of them were also in the middle of renovating a house.

 

[LovelyNaps26]

I've heard from a man that a woman told him that she wasn't attracted to him physically but that she was attracted sexually. Still scratching my head on that one-

this could be possible. if she saw him wearing tight pants and liked the silhouette then yeah i could see that