Yeah...I said it!

[syze6]

Have you ever said somethings that was hurtful to someone and it was a huge weight off your shoulders?

My husband and I got into this huge argument last night. I lit into him and I was FURIOUS! If the tongue is life and death, brother is DOA. I said some things I knew were hurtful but VERY true! Although I was SO angry, I knew of each and every thing I was saying! I didn't even feel bad afterwards because IT FELT GOOD!!! I breathe a sign of release and I finally exhaled!!

Today...I still don't feel bad or regret the words I spoke! Does that make me a horrible person?

 

[sunshinelady]

You'll feel bad about it later. Maybe you're just having a delayed reaction. Your aim should never be to hurt your mate. Unless, you're thinking about jumping ship.

 

[*5+5]

Hell naw!

I told SO I HATED him about a month ago and I meant it like I meant Christmas when I said it. I never apologized for it either b/c if I could've relived the moment I still would have said it all the same. Dude had me HOTT!! That was my 1st time saying that to a person & it was out of character for me so he knew he was skatin'. I don't feel as tho' it makes me a bad person at all.

 

[dlewis]

I use to be like that all the time. Thankfully I'm 1000% better now but I still have my moments.

 

[Pat Mahurr]

NO you're not a horrible person! I feel ya. I used to get mad at my husband over little things that I kept to myself. Then whenever he made me mad enough, I would let loose with all the stuff I had been holding in -- all at once. That wasn't healthy for me to carry around all of that irritation, and it certainly didn't help him or solve the latest problem.

He and I both have learned to address issues and irritations as they happen now, so that we always know where we stand with each other. If I get upset about something, and I don't address it then, I have to let it go forever. When we make each other angry now, we can identify the one problem we have to deal with and move on.

 

[tallygirl]

You'll feel bad about it later. Maybe you're just having a delayed reaction. Your aim should never be to hurt your mate. Unless, you're thinking about jumping ship.

ITA...
I think you will feel sorry for saying those hurtful things and you will evenutally take responsibility for your own words...Being on the receiving end of hurtful words can be so devastating and heart-wrenching, particularly when it comes from someone you love and care about. I do think that you'll eventually begin to feel bad for dishing out the hurt to your husband.

 

[PoeticJustice]

You're not a horrible person at all. I used to be like that, and I'd like to think I've grown alot since think. Hindsight, I realize nothing was accomplished afterward but the other person being hurt by what I had said. I've come along way with taking the high road and not throw something in someone's face because I myself cannot throw stones living in a glass house.

But boy, back then my words was like venom. Or like my EH would say... throwing darts!!!

 

[syze6]

ITA...
I think you will feel sorry for saying those hurtful things and you will evenutally take responsibility for your own words...Being on the receiving end of hurtful words can be so devastating and heart-wrenching, particularly when it comes from someone you love and care about. I do think that you'll eventually begin to feel bad for dishing out the hurt to your husband.

I hear where you are coming from but I can HONESTLY tell you I won't feel sorry for the words I spoke. I know I have to deal with that part if it but I won't digress from what I said and how I felt. I know how hurtful words can be, but being on the receiving end of actions are just as devastating, ESPECIALLY when it comes from someone you love and thought loved you!

 

[sunshinelady]

I hear where you are coming from but I can HONESTLY tell you I won't feel sorry for the words I spoke. I know I have to deal with that part if it but I won't digress from what I said and how I felt. I know how hurtful words can be, but being on the receiving end of actions are just as devastating, ESPECIALLY when it comes from someone you love and thought loved you!

So are you looking for corrective action or are you ready to jump ship?

 

[syze6]

Before yesterday, I would have said corrective actions but today, with the way I feel, "I'll take jumping ship for $300 Alex!"

 

[Misseyl]

Nope, you are not a horrible person, somethings just need to be said.. Good for you...

 

[jrae]

Syze6, why were you holding it in until you were ready to explode? You should be letting it out when it comes so you're not boiling over at some point. KWIM?

 

[Evolving78]

yeah, i have and i paid dearly for it later on. i still can't get away from that, but at the time i just wanted that person to hurt like me really bad.

 

[Evolving78]

Have you ever said somethings that was hurtful to someone and it was a huge weight off your shoulders?

My husband and I got into this huge argument last night. I lit into him and I was FURIOUS! If the tongue is life and death, brother is DOA. I said some things I knew were hurtful but VERY true! Although I was SO angry, I knew of each and every thing I was saying! I didn't even feel bad afterwards because IT FELT GOOD!!! I breathe a sign of release and I finally exhaled!!

Today...I still don't feel bad or regret the words I spoke! Does that make me a horrible person?

those things that you said, did they cross your mind over and over beforehand? see the stuff that i said, i was thinking all of the time. i truly felt and believed the things that i said to this person. there was no right way to say the stuff that i said. i can't take any of it back though.

 

[**Tasha*Love**]

I used to be the same way. When I spoke I was intentionally trying to hurt the other person...but I didn't like the same in return. I've matured alot in the past year. I still have my moments but I have gotten a LOT better.

OP, I don't think your a bad person for what you did. Maybe you should start speaking up when something bothers you instead of holding it in.

You're not a horrible person at all. I used to be like that, and I'd like to think I've grown alot since think. Hindsight, I realize nothing was accomplished afterward but the other person being hurt by what I had said. I've come along way with taking the high road and not throw something in someone's face because I myself cannot throw stones living in a glass house.

But boy, back then my words was like venom. Or like my EH would say... throwing darts!!!

 

[syze6]

Syze6, why were you holding it in until you were ready to explode? You should be letting it out when it comes so you're not boiling over at some point. KWIM?

I have spoke about these things before and they seemed to have fallen on death ear. So I said it in a ways that could NEVER be missed! If he didn't get it before, trust he got it then! He knows they were hurtful but he also knows I was 10000% correct on every word!

 

[firecracker]

Did you really have mean intent or were you finally telling him the unadulterated truth?
Was it the truth and he needed to hear it?

 

[envybeauty]

Hmmmmmmmmmm..........

looking back........

I don't regret anything said to any man.

I may have felt bad after saying it only because we were still together and the other person wallowed in what I said, but now that they are out of my life, nah.

Boo now........haven't said anything. I may have done somethings that I wish I had done differently. But words...........nope.

You'll be fine.

 

[andrea]

ITA...
I think you will feel sorry for saying those hurtful things and you will evenutally take responsibility for your own words...Being on the receiving end of hurtful words can be so devastating and heart-wrenching, particularly when it comes from someone you love and care about. I do think that you'll eventually begin to feel bad for dishing out the hurt to your husband.

You're not a horrible person at all. I used to be like that, and I'd like to think I've grown alot since think. Hindsight, I realize nothing was accomplished afterward but the other person being hurt by what I had said. I've come along way with taking the high road and not throw something in someone's face because I myself cannot throw stones living in a glass house.

But boy, back then my words was like venom. Or like my EH would say... throwing darts!!!

Before yesterday, I would have said corrective actions but today, with the way I feel, "I'll take jumping ship for $300 Alex!"

yeah, i have and i paid dearly for it later on. i still can't get away from that, but at the time i just wanted that person to hurt like me really bad.

All true...


That is exactly the way I felt. You hurt me and I want you to hurt like me. However, I know it is was certainly wrong..

What I realized is that when say these hurtful things to this person no matter how true they maybe. You are creating little hairline cracks in your relationship. You are creating the environment for them not to share personal things with you in the future. Or you will use it to attack them... With Men it is weird... All I can say is that I have heard from my last 2 ex boyfriends is that. The reason why we are not together anymore is because of my mouth.

Now, the first one, I wanted to be with. The things I said while true were inappropiate. I realized that it was my mouth and the words that came out caused all other problems.

Now the last boyfriend.. Yeah I said it, I meant it.. But it was still inappropiate and I am a better person than that..

I have to constantly work every single day to not say exactly what I am thinking...


Good Luck..

 

[Magnolia85]

When you say hurtful things like that men....they tend not to forget it for a long time.

 

[syze6]

Did you really have mean intent or were you finally telling him the unadulterated truth?
Was it the truth and he needed to hear it?

I was telling him the unadulterated truth and because I was SO angry it came out just as mean and hurtful as it could!

 

[syze6]

When you say hurtful things like that men....they tend not to forget it for a long time.

Yeah and when men DO hurtful things....women tend not to forget FOREVER! LOL!!!!

 

[envybeauty]

When you say hurtful things like that men....they tend not to forget it for a long time.

good. i hope one ex remembers everything i said for yeeeeeeaaarrrrssss to come.