writing to a pastor

[SqrpioQutie]

so i'm highly upset right now... some of you may have read where i'm no longer attending my church... well the situation has escalated and i don't want to sit on my feelings - i want to let my former pastor know why i'll no longer be attending, since he is at the heart of it...

long story short, i'm close to the assistant pastor and his family... for the past few months, the main pastor has been saying and doing stuff that has not sat right with us (ie., contradicting himself when it comes to "love" offerings - it's ok to give a love offering to him but you can't do the same to the assistant pastor or the elders of the church, advocating a "by any means necessary" attitude when it comes to getting what you want - preaching about how he basically cheated to win a church bowling trophy, etc.)... well the last straw was when he told the assistant pastor (and others) that if their family members, who all previously left our church (one of which used to be the assistant pastor), didn't leave their church and that other pastor didn't stop preaching, that something bad would happen to their children and/or grandchildren... no prophesy, no "God laid this on my heart", just cuz i said so... so this didn't sit right and the assistant pastor decided to resign...

when he received the resignation, he decided that they wouldn't accept it and in turn, wanted to terminate him, citing some bogus reasons ... he also threatened to have his license revoked... now he's sent the assistant pastor a letter invoking some after the fact non-compete clause prohibiting him from preaching within a 50 mile radius (where noone has signed anything) ...

i want hm to know i'm pissed... but i don't want to disrespect his position... and i'm not bible scholar so i don't want to come at him biblically, but i DO want it known why he no longer has my support...

any advice...

 

[PaperClip]

Wowwwww.... This is a very delicate situation....

It's good for you to be aware of and own your feelings about the matter. What concerns me is that because you're in the thick of things (being close to the assistant pastor and all, absorbing things on such a personal level) that it may be a challenge to see the overall picture. I don't know the details of the situation but what I do know is that the Lord looks to us individually about our attitudes and actions.

I've heard it said that even if the PERSON isn't right, the POSITION is still right, meaning that the POSITION of PASTOR still must be honored. Before you make a move, shut your ears to humans and seek GOD for yourself on this matter.... So should you choose to (and/or you are divinely led to leave), you will have OBEYED in terms of honoring and respecting the POSITION of the PASTORSHIP.... that you do things right, decently and in order.

On the natural letter, go ahead and write the letter. Then put it up and walk away for a day or 2 then go back and read and review it...let the letter (and you) cool off....

I believe that things will work out for good.

 

[Keen]

Wowwwww.... This is a very delicate situation....

It's good for you to be aware of and own your feelings about the matter. What concerns me is that because you're in the thick of things (being close to the assistant pastor and all, absorbing things on such a personal level) that it may be a challenge to see the overall picture. I don't know the details of the situation but what I do know is that the Lord looks to us individually about our attitudes and actions.

I've heard it said that even if the PERSON isn't right, the POSITION is still right, meaning that the POSITION of PASTOR still must be honored. Before you make a move, shut your ears to humans and seek GOD for yourself on this matter.... So should you choose to (and/or you are divinely led to leave), you will have OBEYED in terms of honoring and respecting the POSITION of the PASTORSHIP.... that you do things right, decently and in order.

On the natural letter, go ahead and write the letter. Then put it up and walk away for a day or 2 then go back and read and review it...let the letter (and you) cool off....

I believe that things will work out for good.

Relaxerehab, I'm not sure I understand where you are coming from.

SQ, what are you hoping to gain by speaking out? What you say will depend on that.

 

[SqrpioQutie]

Keen, i'm still trying to figure that out... i think, right now, my only motivation is to let him know why i'm not there anymore... while i was super active, he knows/knew who i am/was... honestly, i'm so very disappointed in this whole situation and i feel like i need to let that out into the open...

Relaxerehab, I'm not sure I understand where you are coming from.

SQ, what are you hoping to gain by speaking out? What you say will depend on that.

 

[PaperClip]

Relaxerehab, I'm not sure I understand where you are coming from.

How can I help? What would help for me to clarify?

 

[golden bronze]

Before you deliver any word to the pastor, remember our words have power, and are irrevocable. Pray on it. Hard. Ask the holy spirit to give you the words to write. Do not write it in a spirit of anger, but in a spirit of love.I say this because the bible talks about the wheat and the tears growing up together until due season. In these situations we have to be careful not to let our own will supercede the will for others in the faith who may be harmed by our actions, however well intentioned.

You must respect the position of pastor, but you do not have to condone any behaviors that are against God's will and laws. Take up this matter with him in private, as the bible advises us. Who knows, he may hear whatever word you have and you may reconcile. If not, at least you will settle the matter in your heart.

I am having a similar issue with my church for entirely different reasons; I feel that the church is focussing on money and not spirituality, the the leadership over the young people is amuck and allowing some awful things to occur. I don't feel I am getting fed, and there are some things the pastor has done that really sit wrong with me.

I prayed about it, because like you, I was frustrated and upset. And the Lord said, "I have a word for you to give him, but do not go to him in anger, or on your own accord. If you do, you will utterly fail. Instead go to him in spirit and truth."

Let the Lord lead you. He won't turn you wrong.

 

[Shimmie]

Before you deliver any word to the pastor, remember our words have power, and are irrevocable. Pray on it. Hard. Ask the holy spirit to give you the words to write. Do not write it in a spirit of anger, but in a spirit of love.I say this because the bible talks about the wheat and the tears growing up together until due season. In these situations we have to be careful not to let our own will supercede the will for others in the faith who may be harmed by our actions, however well intentioned.

You must respect the position of pastor, but you do not have to condone any behaviors that are against God's will and laws. Take up this matter with him in private, as the bible advises us. Who knows, he may hear whatever word you have and you may reconcile. If not, at least you will settle the matter in your heart.

I am having a similar issue with my church for entirely different reasons; I feel that the church is focussing on money and not spirituality, the the leadership over the young people is amuck and allowing some awful things to occur. I don't feel I am getting fed, and there are some things the pastor has done that really sit wrong with me.

I prayed about it, because like you, I was frustrated and upset. And the Lord said, "I have a word for you to give him, but do not go to him in anger, or on your own accord. If you do, you will utterly fail. Instead go to him in spirit and truth."

Let the Lord lead you. He won't turn you wrong.

Golden Bronze, this is Excellent mentoring. The Lord has you here as a strong witness for SQ and not just advise. Your words are truely of the Lord.

SQ, this is the best way to handle this situation. Two wrongs will never make a right. Emotional approaches will only 'hinder' the effectiveness of what you want to see accomplished.

Pray and God will surely lead you. He always does. Also pray and ask the Holy Spiirt to temper your emotions. This way you'll be sure of the direction in which God is leading you.

Also remember, God has been 'watching' this situation for a long, long, time. Even before it occurred in the 'natural' realm. So He knows more about it than 'we' ever could. Therefore it has to be He who leads you all the more.

 

[Shimmie]

Wowwwww.... This is a very delicate situation....

It's good for you to be aware of and own your feelings about the matter. What concerns me is that because you're in the thick of things (being close to the assistant pastor and all, absorbing things on such a personal level) that it may be a challenge to see the overall picture. I don't know the details of the situation but what I do know is that the Lord looks to us individually about our attitudes and actions.

I've heard it said that even if the PERSON isn't right, the POSITION is still right, meaning that the POSITION of PASTOR still must be honored. Before you make a move, shut your ears to humans and seek GOD for yourself on this matter.... So should you choose to (and/or you are divinely led to leave), you will have OBEYED in terms of honoring and respecting the POSITION of the PASTORSHIP.... that you do things right, decently and in order.

On the natural letter, go ahead and write the letter. Then put it up and walk away for a day or 2 then go back and read and review it...let the letter (and you) cool off....

I believe that things will work out for good.

RR, both you and Golden Bronze has given the most loving wisdom. Your words are going to go 'far'. For this will not be the last situation to occur of this nature.

Someone else is in need of this mentoring, for they too are going through the same challenge. Your words will soothe them and God will be able to lead them.

 

[Monilove122]

RR, both you and Golden Bronze has given the most loving wisdom. Your words are going to go 'far'. For this will not be the last situation to occur of this nature.

Someone else is in need of this mentoring, for they too are going through the same challenge. Your words will soothe them and God will be able to lead them.

I agree, RR, GB, and Shimmie have all given EXCELLENT advice and wisdom. Nothing more to say but I concur and I will praying that things work out well for all of those involved.

 

[Keen]

How can I help? What would help for me to clarify?

My question was purposely vague because I wasn't sure if you were trying to condone his behavior. But I was thinking, I'm sure you weren't trying to do that, I'm just reading too much into it. After reading golden_bronze post, I think I get it now.

 

[golden bronze]

I spoke with my pastor today in private, with a friend of mine who is working on starting a youth bible study. I shared with him all my concerns I mentioned in the previous post.

I thank you ladies for your support. I feel that I listened with my spirit, and delivered the word I was supposed to deliver.

It was not all good-- some cutting remarks were made, and some aching perceptions were revealed-- but it was not all bad, -- some middle ground was reached, and some understanding came.

Either way, I know I tried to do what the Lord would have me to do. God bless your for you support. Please keep me, our pastor, and our church in prayer.

 

[dreamer26]

I would say please pray and be lead of God.

The Lord gave me a word for my pastor 3 years ago and it was not received well at all he sat me down and he was so angry with me. But the Lord told me to stand still do no leave, continue to praise him and that's what I've done. In the midst of the hate I've continued to stand fast.

God has revealed everything I said and more. I tell you if it's God leading it will be for correcting and reproving not just getting something off your chest. God will be giving him an opportunity to get it straight before he steps in with his switch or extention cord.

So please be lead of God because it's not our business but his.

 

[golden bronze]

Thank you. That is good advice.

 

[Shimmie]

I would say please pray and be lead of God.

The Lord gave me a word for my pastor 3 years ago and it was not received well at all he sat me down and he was so angry with me. But the Lord told me to stand still do no leave, continue to praise him and that's what I've done. In the midst of the hate I've continued to stand fast.

God has revealed everything I said and more. I tell you if it's God leading it will be for correcting and reproving not just getting something off your chest. God will be giving him an opportunity to get it straight before he steps in with his switch or extention cord.

So please be lead of God because it's not our business but his.

Dreamer, this is so true. It's hard when we receive a 'hard' word, but we have to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit and obey His leading.

I believe this is why we are experiencing so much trouble in Church leadership, because God has 'revealed' to many of us something that is 'amiss' with our Pastors, but we've turned a deaf ear for fear of offense, anger, etc.

I'm so glad you had the boldness to yield and I'm so glad that you are here to share this experience. You never know who is struggling with the same situation, to share a word from the Lord with their Pastor.

We have to remember that we are still dealing with men/women who are HUMAN and their first reaction is a prideful one; and will often times be in anger for their thought is 'who are we to have a word for them.' But that's when God begins to humble them and proceed to do His work in their hearts.

 

[dreamer26]

Dreamer, this is so true. It's hard when we receive a 'hard' word, but we have to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit and obey His leading.

I believe this is why we are experiencing so much trouble in Church leadership, because God has 'revealed' to many of us something that is 'amiss' with our Pastors, but we've turned a deaf ear for fear of offense, anger, etc.

I'm so glad you had the boldness to yield and I'm so glad that you are here to share this experience. You never know who is struggling with the same situation, to share a word from the Lord with their Pastor.

We have to remember that we are still dealing with men/women who are HUMAN and their first reaction is a prideful one; and will often times be in anger for their thought is 'who are we to have a word for them.' But that's when God begins to humble them and proceed to do His work in their hearts.

Yes the bold part is so true. God has no mouth but ours and no hand but ours so if he can't get us to speak out and up then sometimes things go wrong.

It took me a long time to say YES Lord I'll go but now I'm so glad God trusted me enough. He never told us this journey would be easy but it will be worth it.

Thanks for the words of encouragement.

Be blessed.

 

[Shimmie]

Yes the bold part is so true. God has no mouth but ours and no hand but ours so if he can't get us to speak out and up then sometimes things go wrong.

It took me a long time to say YES Lord I'll go but now I'm so glad God trusted me enough. He never told us this journey would be easy but it will be worth it.

Thanks for the words of encouragement.

Be blessed.

You be blessed too. Sweet Dreams...day and night. For God is still giving you 'visions' that He can 'trust' you to see.

 

[golden bronze]

This thread was a great support to me. After speaking with my pastor what God placed on my heart, he was defensive, even cruel, and his immediate thought was to attack, but after speaking with him for several hours, he seemed to respect what I was saying and said he would pray about it.

I agreed to get some spiritual teaching about the issue of written covenants, because one of the issues is that our church has some people in leadership positions that unfortunately are hurting the body. He felt the solution was issue a written covenant. Many people in the church have supported it, and some have felt that they are not biblically based. God placed it on my heart that the true issue is that the leadership is not being developed or fed with the word. Many who signed the covenant are still behaving worse, and they think they are superior to those that didn't sign. In the fall those who don't seign will be removed of their leadership positions. I don't have any problem with anything in the covenant, I just felt in my spirit that the everlasting covenant of Christ is enough. If we teach that, then people can be transformed of heart and renewed in mind. Our covenant is first and foremost between God through Christ.

This has been an ongoing issue. For three years I have prayed about it, and meditated on it, and studied the word. Initially God told me not to get involved. Then one day he just placed it on me that I had to speak.

The pastor still believes that I am incorrect in this word, and I agreed to meet with a spritual counselor about it. I told him I would be open to that, but I still had to pray about what the Lord placed on my spirit.

I will see what happens. It is very delicate because it could either be a turning point for our church, or we could be ripped apart. I pray for my pastor and the church everyday that God's will be done.

 

[dreamer26]

Remember you are a vessel being used by God, and God takes care of his own.

All you do is speak what God gives you and no more and then continue to pray and praise and be your normal self then watch God.

God will confirm everyword.

It get's discouraging when your pastor attacks you but you're just a vessel and God will get the glory out of this.

Stay the course and keep the faith. I know how you feel and when I was weak and wanted to give up, The Lord sent me a 6 year little girl that pointed her finger at me and said "DON'T YOU GIVE UP, YOU KEEP ON PRESSING".

I praised God and cried like never before. That's when I knew God had my back and I just had to go through it.

Today I'm more stronger than before, I am more convinced of his word and his promises. I'm more determine to be a vessel that he can use. I'm more ready to tell this dying word God is real.

Hang in there it may get rough but that's just the devil letting you know his time is winding up.

Love ya

Be Blessed.