VelvetRain
Well-Known Member
You've been talking to a gentleman for a short time and then he asks you out. If you were really feeling him would come up out of pockets to pay for the date?
Would you or have you paid for the first date?
- Thread starter VelvetRain
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Etherealsmile
Well-Known Member
I did when i was much younger. Never again
Mai Tai
Miss Nigeria-America
Uhhh...Hell to the ****** NO!
Why would you even consider paying for this date, and the first date at that. He asked you out, he comes out of pocket. You ask him out...HE comes out of pocket.
And so what if you are really feeling him. What does that have to do with anything?
Why would you even consider paying for this date, and the first date at that. He asked you out, he comes out of pocket. You ask him out...HE comes out of pocket.
And so what if you are really feeling him. What does that have to do with anything?
Sapphire
kinks n curls girl
I did. And it was our last date.
So did you know beforehand that you would be paying or did he pull the "forgot my wallet" move?
Glib Gurl
Well-Known Member
Oh nothing like that. When the bill came, I was trying to show that I was an independent woman (i.e., not a gold digger) so I reached for the check. He was horrified
CurliDiva
Well-Known Member
I think some women are very confused about what a courtship is....if a man really wants you, he'll go thru fire to spend time with you - no wishy, washy signals.
Windsy
New Member
I've never had to pay for a first date not sure I'm against it either....I'm on the fence about this one because I believe that gender roles are being changed and redefined. I also believe that women are now having to play co-provider and the such so the idea of a man paying for everything is certainly starting to fade away.
My 2-cents!
My 2-cents!
ladylibra_30
Well-Known Member
I did one time because, at the time (experience/age), I didn't know what else to do. My date kept talking about sex for most of dinner. I wouldn't have felt obligated to bed him if he would've paid for my dinner/beverage but I just didn't want to deal with him anymore after that date - I don't like real fast men. Also, I was so relieved I decided to drive to the restaurant instead of letting him pick me up from home. Now in hindsight and years later I would make a man like this pay for my aggravation and his tacky behaviour.
nlamr2013
Well-Known Member
Uh no. Neither second nor third nor fourth nor fifth.(no offense to people who would) but if I'm gonna be paying I might as well go with my girls and find someone who could wine and dine me so to speak. Women keep saying chilvery is dead, but it's because people keep killing it.
softblackcotton
Well-Known Member
Yes, because both of his credit cards got declined by the restaurant. Plus, He ate both my food and his because I had lost my appetite. White guys can be kangs too. Never again.
ladysaraii
Well-Known Member
Nope. And if I had to open my wallet, then I would only be paying for my portion of the meal.
VelvetRain
Well-Known Member
Please believe I am far from confused. This was a hypothetical question. I had a feeling this was probably going to be the response. Why ask? I had my reasons.
hopeful
Well-Known Member
VelvetRain, I figured this post was not about you because I am familiar with you and your posts. But if a person didn't know you how would they know it's a hypothetical question when you just asked the question and gave no additional details? I think it's unfair to get an attitude with people who are trying to respectfully respond to your thread. JMHO.
LilMissRed
Well-Known Member
uhhh 
that'd be a negative
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naturalmanenyc
Well-Known Member
No, I would not offer to pay for the date, even if I thought the guy was "amazing". The fact that he could not pay for the date would knock him off of my "amazing" guy list.
I also do not think it's a wise idea to offer to pay for the first date. A man might come to expect it or think that he does not have to work to be with that woman.
I was advised by my dad to always have vex money (cab fare) just in case a man acts like an idiot on a date.
I also do not think it's a wise idea to offer to pay for the first date. A man might come to expect it or think that he does not have to work to be with that woman.
I was advised by my dad to always have vex money (cab fare) just in case a man acts like an idiot on a date.
Qtee
Member
I agree 1000%..Nope! Never have, never will. Although I always make sure I have money to pay (for myself) just in case the guy is a cheapskate and expects us to go dutch, which would probably make that our last date.erplexed
I have, or rather, I have gone dutch. I also paid for both of us on one first date, but that wasn't supposed to happen. The story is in one of these threads about worst dates ever. It's not something I've done (going dutch first date, that is) for many years. My current pattern for the last few guys is that I don't mind treating every now and then, especially now that I have a job and money. But usually he pays.
If he asks you out, he should pay.
It's not something I've done (going dutch first date, that is) for many years. My current pattern for the last few guys is that I don't mind treating every now and then, especially now that I have a job and money. But usually he pays.If he asks you out, he should pay.
VelvetRain
Well-Known Member
Hmm didn't catch an attitude. Not sure where that idea came from. I dont consider my life to be an open book for all to scrutinize especially here of all places. It was something I was curious about. That's pretty much it.
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