TPayne75
New Member
I left my boyfriend almost 4 yrs ago. He was an older guy. (He was 37 and I was 27.) He had two teenage daughters 12 and 13 when he and I got together. I do not have children.
Things seemed to go pretty well until I lost my job and we decided to give up our separate apartments and move in together to "save" money. In the beginning I was excited about us all living together but also a little hesitant since I was on the "fast track" going from living alone to living with a man and then living with a man AND his kids. (Can you say Instant Family?!)
erplexed It didn't take very long before he and I began to fight about his kids (having a cell phone, chores, discipline issues, and etc.) Now don't get me wrong I do like children (teenagers not so much after this experience lol
) but I tried to care for his kids in a manner as if they were my own. I wanted them to become intelligent black women. Much of the problems stemed from the fact that I believe he didn't think I knew who to raise a child because I did not have one.
In my opinion, I believe in raising a child the way I was raised. The way my Momma raised me was if you're not making the grades at school and handling your business around the house as far as chores go then you don't get privileges! When my ex and I were together the oldest daughter thought she should a cell phone, be allowed to hang out w/ her friends, talk on the house phone for HOURS and etc. even though she barely did chores and wasn't doing so great in school.
My ex and I ended on bad terms and since I left him and his kids I didn't look back. I haven't talked to them. (Their dad included.) We live in the same city and he has no idea where I live since I moved away. Over the years I've found myself thinking about his girls wondering if they've finished high school, praying that they has gotten pregnant. (They are 18 and 19 now.) Basically just wondering if they're doing ok. A few weeks ago I'm pretty certain I saw his kids in my neighborhood TWICE! They were with their friends. I've been thinking to myself....if I see them around again by themselves I may stop and speak but another part of me isn't sure I should because I don't want them to know I live in the area and I'm also not sure how they'd feel about seeing me again after all this time. I feel like if I do talk to them I'd be stirring up all those old angry feelings I've worked hard to get over.
What would you do?
Things seemed to go pretty well until I lost my job and we decided to give up our separate apartments and move in together to "save" money. In the beginning I was excited about us all living together but also a little hesitant since I was on the "fast track" going from living alone to living with a man and then living with a man AND his kids. (Can you say Instant Family?!)
erplexed It didn't take very long before he and I began to fight about his kids (having a cell phone, chores, discipline issues, and etc.) Now don't get me wrong I do like children (teenagers not so much after this experience lol) but I tried to care for his kids in a manner as if they were my own. I wanted them to become intelligent black women. Much of the problems stemed from the fact that I believe he didn't think I knew who to raise a child because I did not have one. In my opinion, I believe in raising a child the way I was raised. The way my Momma raised me was if you're not making the grades at school and handling your business around the house as far as chores go then you don't get privileges! When my ex and I were together the oldest daughter thought she should a cell phone, be allowed to hang out w/ her friends, talk on the house phone for HOURS and etc. even though she barely did chores and wasn't doing so great in school.
My ex and I ended on bad terms and since I left him and his kids I didn't look back. I haven't talked to them. (Their dad included.) We live in the same city and he has no idea where I live since I moved away. Over the years I've found myself thinking about his girls wondering if they've finished high school, praying that they has gotten pregnant. (They are 18 and 19 now.) Basically just wondering if they're doing ok. A few weeks ago I'm pretty certain I saw his kids in my neighborhood TWICE! They were with their friends. I've been thinking to myself....if I see them around again by themselves I may stop and speak but another part of me isn't sure I should because I don't want them to know I live in the area and I'm also not sure how they'd feel about seeing me again after all this time. I feel like if I do talk to them I'd be stirring up all those old angry feelings I've worked hard to get over.
What would you do?
. Other than that I agree with keeping it movin.
But no, that would just create unnecessary confusion. Just leave it for what it is.
