Would you/Have you ever told a friend to end their relationship?

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locabouthair

Well-Known Member
I dont think I ever have. I always hear people say that you shouldnt tell another person to end their relationship. And I kinda agree.

I had friends who were dealing with guys that I thought were a waste of time but I never said anything. But when they told me they started moving on I was happy. :look:

I know telling someone to end their marriage is a different story.
 
I have. once.

This girl has been going back and forth with her man for 4.5 years already. breaking up every other week on some immature ish. And she's 23 mind you, an age where you should start getting your ish together mentally (if you're a woman at least).

I was just tired of her creating her own misery.
 
Funny, this discussion came up yesterday. I never have and I highly doubt I ever will. Love is a crazy thing sometimes, may cause you to not listen to reason.
 
Yes I have! My friend is involved with a man right now...who is very controlling!

I can't explain to you, how controlling he is...it's absolutely ridicoulous.

For whatever reason she won't do it. She complains constantly.

I've said my piece, I won't keep telling her.

It's ultimately her decison.
 
Yes, I have.....

The "man" (who she eventually married and they have a son now) cheated on her several times, one of those times in my friend's car. I caught another girl's head popping up out of his lap as I was walking back into the apartment we shared (the girl was his ex of 3 yrs and also our next door neighnor...drama!!!). This same man also burned her w/ an STD on at least 4 seperate occasions (that I know of) and she miscarried twice. Oh yeah, this was also the same "man" ho proposed to someone else a month after taking my friend virginity (she was 21 and saving it until she got married).

So yes I did tell her to end the relationship, I wasn't the only one either. Being with him was unhealthy for her both physically and mentally. I felt that she deserved MUCH better, someone who loved and respected her, but she felt that she had the best. Oh well, it's her life. Our friendship didn't last, but their marriage has seem to. I just wonder how come I saw him holding hands with his girlfriend and had her sitting at home in another city though :rolleyes:
 
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I have encouraged it for a friend in an abusive relationship and had friends do it for me as well. Of course..they didn't listen and neither did I. I still would do it for a violent relationship.

I've had lots of friends that were dating a dog and I said nothing..it's not for me to decide what someone feels is "good enough" for them. Women usually get defensive about their male choices.
 
qtslim83 said:
Yes, I have.....

The "man" (who she eventually married and they have a son now) cheated on her several times, one of those times in my friend's car. I caught another girl's head popping up out of his lap as I was walking back into the apartment we shared (the girl was his ex of 3 yrs and also our next door neighnor...drama!!!). This same man also burned her w/ an STD on at least 4 seperate occasions (that I know of) and she miscarried twice. Oh yeah, this was also the same "man" ho proposed to someone else a month after taking my friend virginity (she was 21 and saving it until she got married).

So yes I did tell her to end the relationship, I wasn't the only one either. Being with him was unhealthy for her both physically and mentally. I felt that she deserved MUCH better, someone who loved and respected her, but she felt that she had the best. Oh well, it's her life. Our friendship didn't last, but their marriage has seem to. I just wonder how come I saw him holding hands with his girlfriend and had her sitting at home in another city though :rolleyes:
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wow. That man is a DOG. 4 STD's and you friend still stayed????

I understand people dont want to be the one to tell a friend to leave their man, but when it's someone close to you and you see how much they are hurting and that they really deserve better it's hard not to say something.

It's even harder especially if your friend is always complaining to you about him.
 
Never! A grown person is going to do what they're going to do when they are ready to do it, especially in a relationship.

The same friend that constantly dogs her SO to you will be the one saying," Oh girl, you don't know him like that. John is good man." Uh huh. Ok.
 
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calmsensual1 said:
I have. once.

This girl has been going back and forth with her man for 4.5 years already. breaking up every other week on some immature ish. And she's 23 mind you, an age where you should start getting your ish together mentally (if you're a woman at least).

I was just tired of her creating her own misery.
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I did too and the situation was somewhat similar. She found out that not only was he seeing someone else but they were engaged. On top of that my friend was pregnant and he claiming to not even know her let alone had gotten her pregnant. Thank God she kicked him to the curb, his poor fiance married him and has treated her so bad.:nono:
 
NeeSee said:
I did too and the situation was somewhat similar. She found out that not only was he seeing someone else but they were engaged. On top of that my friend was pregnant and he claiming to not even know her let alone had gotten her pregnant. Thank God she kicked him to the curb, his poor fiance married him and has treated her so bad.:nono:
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Just curious, did he ever acknowledge his child ?
 
Nope. I don't want anyone coming back to me talking about "It's your fault I'm all alone. I should have never listened to you." Women are so good for getting mad at their friends for pointing out their SO, DH or fling's faults, instead of admitting that the faults really do exist.
 
I don't mince words to spare feelings. If someone doesnt want to know the truth, I suggest they stop telling me their problems. I reserve the right to say whatever I deem fit for the conversation.

I've been telling my baby cousin to break up with her boyfriend for the past 3 weeks.

As soon as I figure out how to break them up, I will without hesitation.
 
I've told my sister this. For all the same reasons I should've ended the one I had when I was her age. To sum it up just NO DARN GOOD.
 
locabouthair said:
wow. That man is a DOG. 4 STD's and you friend still stayed????

I understand people dont want to be the one to tell a friend to leave their man, but when it's someone close to you and you see how much they are hurting and that they really deserve better it's hard not to say something.

It's even harder especially if your friend is always complaining to you about him.
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YESSSSSS!!!! I have told my best girl friend of 15 years and she even knows she should. She tells me constantly how she is not happy. I told her everyday for awhile...then I just stopped. He even told her he didn't want her hanging with me, and she told him I'm not just a 'friend' I'm her sister... After her divorce that she is STILL working on getting, she lost ALL of her confidence and settled w/ this @ss to help make ends meet...
now he leaves it alone, but he knows I don't like him... and his ***** monkey son, who constantly beats on her two kids...His baby mama has bee caught driving HER truck and even the son says his dad takes him and his mom out to eat and do fun things together...
barbiesocialite said:
I don't mince words to spare feelings. If someone doesnt want to know the truth, I suggest they stop telling me their problems. I reserve the right to say whatever I deem fit for the conversation.

I've been telling my baby cousin to break up with her boyfriend for the past 3 weeks.

As soon as I figure out how to break them up, I will without hesitation.
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Me TOO!!!!!!!
 
I have told my cousin she deserves better. Now that she is back with him, she distances her from me. Oh well, it's her time wasted, not mine. I tried to help, but she has to see it.
 
I wouldn't point blank tell someone to leave but I would tell someone that they should not have to accept certain behavior. I would tell them that they have a right to be happy, and I would support them when it starts to sound like they are ready to make a change.
 
No not to leave her man, but I lost a friend for telling her she needs to think twice about the new relationship and question the lies.....

We'd been friends since college. She's always been the type to not feel complete with a man in her life and had often made comments about just getting pregnant to feel unconditional love.....

Well she started seeing this guy from the area, he's the same age as my older sister and my husband so I start asking them if they know him. Let him tell it he's from the DC area, a "big time car salesman", lives in this gigantic mansion (which he'd taken my friend to), has no kids and no drama....well after speaking to my husband, my sister and my sister having her bff call me I found out everything he'd told her was a lie. To make matters worse, another one of our bff's who is also from the area meets him and tells our bff that is 'talking' to him that she knows him, she used to hang with his sisters.

Long story short, he's divorced with a child, from the area born and raised here, has no job and the mansion actually belonged to his parents who were out of town when he took my bff there....So instead of telling her to run to the hills I presented it as, take a step back and ask some questions about all the lies. Her response: I guess you call yourself being a friend, or whatever, but I didn't ask for the info so you can keep it.

Due to that and some other issues, we havne't spoken since that convo.

People come into your life seasons and our season ended.
 
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Yep, but only for people that I am super close with, mainly family. My baby sister moved some broke, no job, emotionally damaged dude in with her and he proceeded to try and destroy her life. She swore me and our other sister to secrecy about it because she knew our parents would hate the idea. He went from grateful just to be with her, to demanding access to her money, calling her names, making her think she was crazy, and destroying her property. Stuff was escalating in a dangerous direction and if something had happened to her, and I didn't do anything to stop, I would never forgive myself. Of course she didn't listen, and eventually it ended after her best friend called the police after the dude trashed her apartment wouldn't let her call for help.
 
I've only told one of my friends to ends her relationship. Everytime we talked about him she would end up in tears and the fact that she had a young boy (not by him) and I knew him pretty well too I didn't think it was a healthy relationship for her or that he was a good influence on her son especially since her son's father was out the picture. Once she made the decision to stay with him I kept my mouth shut about how I felt about their relationship. If I feel that somebody I care for is in an unhealthy relationship and they ask what I think they should do I will give my honest opinion.
 
I have. Only because the relationship was unhealthy. Other than that I mind my business unless they ask for my opinion.
 
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