Would you give him a chance?

htown2DAboot

htown2DAboot

New Member
Okay, so one of my homegirls is sorta interested in this guy...But she's hesitant about getting stuff started with him (talking or otherwise) for a few reasons...One...she's 27 and he's 35...She thinks the age difference is sorta a big deal....2...He's been to jail, but when he was younger (like 20) for some stupid ish...basically he wouldn't snitch on his friend...so they got him instead...3..He lived in South Texas during Hurricane Ike, and it totally distroyed his home and pretty much his life...4. He's getting back on his feet, moved to the H, and now has two jobs, both waiters, @ two different spots...

He's a nice guy (from what I can tell; I've met him like twice), very smart, funny...but no degree...And he's extra hot...lol...She doesn't know what to do...B/C She's extra gorgeous, a very fab person...she has a degree, is extra independent, has a pretty cool job, and does her thing...She wants to give the guy a chance...but is totally unsure...I told her it wouldn't hurt...Right? What do ya'll think?
 
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Nothing is worse than a man who looks good physically but it ends right there. A bunch of baggage but not a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of at the moment? Humph. The fact that you already know about so many of his issues is not cool and a man being unstable at 35 is a big red flag IMO.
 
Is this your friend or you you're talking about? Because I don't know any friend who would push another friend to date a man who has been to jail and has nothing. How long was the jail sentence?
 
Okay, so he's had a couple of bad things happen to him to set him back in life. That's sad and fine. But if it were me and I had my sh!t together, I would not be checking for someone like him- whether he's 27 or 35. Especially if he is 35. If I date older, it's because I want someone who is established. So NO. I would not advise her to give him a chance.
 
htown2DAboot said:
Okay, so one of my homegirls is sorta interested in this guy...But she's hesitant about getting stuff started with him (talking or otherwise) for a few reasons...One...she's 27 and he's 35...She thinks the age difference is sorta a big deal....2...He's been to jail, but when he was younger (like 20) for some stupid ish...basically he wouldn't snitch on his friend...so they got him instead...3..He lived in South Texas during Hurricane Ike, and it totally distroyed his home and pretty much his life...4. He's getting back on his feet, moved to the H, and now has two jobs, both waiters, @ two different spots...

He's a nice guy (from what I can tell; I've met him like twice), very smart, funny...but no degree...And he's extra hot...lol...She doesn't know what to do...B/C She's extra gorgeous, a very fab person...she has a degree, is extra independent, has a pretty cool job, and does her thing...She wants to give the guy a chance...but is totally unsure...I told her it wouldn't hurt...Right? What do ya'll think?
Click to expand...

This is called, using your judgement NOW, so it doesn't affect you later.
 
Nah it's def her...I only told her to give him a chance cause she's "talking to other people" as well...And she has no bones about "talking" to people (not ****** them), and letting the bad apples weed themselves out...
 
If she so chooses, give him six-months to a year to see where exactly he wants to be in his life, i.e. that he's striving to make something of himself, because she needs to know whether he's given up or if he actually has ambitions of his own. 2009 is a tough year already, so he may not make much progress, (waiters lose their jobs easily, esp. when no one's eating out). She needs to know whether he can deal on his own or if he'll be looking to her her 'support'. She's 27, still very young, so she shouldn't sweat this.
 
Nope sure wouldn't. I could see if he didn't have a jail record, but a jail record especially if its a felony pretty much eliminates him from getting a lot of jobs.
 
No. Your friend sounds pretty established, so why would she take a gamble on someone OLDER who doesn't have their stuff together. He should have the same, if not, more to offer. There are plenty of men that are good-looking, with clean records and have their stuff together.

As they say on MTV......NEXT!
 
No.

And I don't even know any criminals, and even I've heard the excuse of "the cops got me because i wouldn't snitch" before.

I think inmates got together and decided that line was the most conducive to getting panties once they get on the street.

Has she looked up his real record? Is he on the sex offender registry?
 
I have to agree, I'd let this one go. How would you even explain that type of scenario to your family and etc. if he was worthy enough to be brought home one day?

Reminds me of that C. Rock joke "..This is Kevin. Now I know he's not all that, but he.treats.me.good." :lol:

If she's so fabulous she should look for someone just as fabulous.

Like my best friend and I say, I don't need nobody who's gonna just bring down my property value. :nono:
 
i would say no. how do you know what he REALLY went to prison for? if no one has seen his criminal record then you cant really be too sure. tell her to take a pass and let his fineness go.
 
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I'm gonna agree with the other ladies and say no too. Too many women have gotten caught up in a bad relationship with a dude like this. It's important for people to bring the same things to the table. She should just remain his friend and lend him friendly support until he gets it together. He may end up being the man of her dreams but she should allow him to get to a good place before she decides that.
 
I am all for everyone deserves a sencond chance but
i am allways afraid of those who had been to jail.
 
My two cents - it's probably completely different then everyone else's opinion, but I say don't cut him off just yet. What was he doing before the hurricane, career-wise? Was he always a waiter or did he lose his job after the hurricane too? I think finding out what his goals in life are and what he's doing to achieve them is the first thing she needs to do. The jail thing doesn't bother me that much because he was young, dumb, and caught up in some nonsense. He can recover from that, and hopefully has (after 15 years).

I say if he's a good person, has a good head on his shoulders and seems like he could provide a good life in the future then keep him around. If he has no aspirations or goals and doesn't seem to be making any moves towards anything, just let him be a 2nd tier friend. No woman needs a man bringing her down when she works hard for everything she has. is she looking to get married and have kids anytime soon? These are important things to consider depending on where they both are in their lives and what they're looking for.


Oh another thing - if he has kids, nevermind - don't even pursue anything.
 
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