Would you dump him after this???

[Dee_33]

You and your bf have been dating for 1.5yrs and you plan to ring in the New Year's together. His brother invites you to a New Year's party but you and your bf decide to rent movies and have dinner together instead. Then on New Year's Eve. at around 7:30pm your bf calls and says that he's going to the party at his brothers and will call you when he's leaving so that you can ring in the new year together, however he doesn't call you until 11:50pm. What do you do???

Me I'd leave his arse and ignore his calls. This happened to one of my co-workers and today she got flowers from him apologizing but she doesn't know if she should take him back or not.

Also I asked why she didn't go to the party too she said that she didn't want to, she really wanted them to spend some one-on-one time.

 

[FlowerHair]

Eeerr...yes, that would be a wrap for me.
He would find himself dumped after something like this!

 

[winterinatl]

No. See my post in the other thread.

 

[CaribbeanQueen]

I dont know if I would dump him but he would have some MAJOR making up to do...

 

[kally]

No I would not dump him after that. Now if he was there with another female. I would,but no.

 

[BroadstreetBully]

I'd be pissed, and I'd scare him, but it was inconsiderate. I don't know anything else about this guy, so I can't pass judgement. But if in the 1.5 years they have been dating, this is the first offense, I wouldn't dump him.

 

[Determined22]

I wouldn't throw away 18 months for just that, but there's no telling what other stuff she's been putting up with.

But just that one thing wouldn't be enough to make me break up.

 

[Whimsy]

depends on how much of a bad boy he's been otherwise AND what he did that night....

 

[Farida]

That was inconsiderate, but it is not worth dumping him if he is an otherwise nice guy. I would only dump him if he did this consistently after you had told him not to.

 

[gone_fishing]

If that is not his typical behavior, I'd not dump him. I'd still be pissy however and I'd make him pay.

 

[itismehmmkay]

I dont know if I would dump him but he would have some MAJOR making up to do...

Exactly. I'd let him keep sending me flowers and whatever else until I made up my mind.

 

[mrselle]

I don't know...depends on how close we were, how emotionally invested I was in the relationship and his character overall. But I will say this...the fact that he decided at the last minute to go to the party, the fact that he didn't call until 11:50pm and the fact that he didn't send flowers until two days later to try to rectify the situation would make me wonder. Is there a chance he could have brought the New Year in with someone else?

 

[MsKipani]

If that is not his typical behavior, I'd not dump him. I'd still be pissy however and I'd make him pay.

I agree...if this behavior (blowing off plans at the last minute) is atypical I would not dumb him. I'd be EXTREMELY pissed, but if it were a one time thing, I'd forgive. However, if he already had a tendency of doing this, I couldn't handle it regularly

 

[MsKipani]

I don't know...depends on how close we were, how emotionally invested I was in the relationship and his character overall. But I will say this...the fact that he decided at the last minute to go to the party, the fact that he didn't call until 11:50pm and the fact that he didn't send flowers until two days later to try to rectify the situation would make me wonder. Is there a chance he could have brought the New Year in with someone else?

Good point there....

 

[texasqt]

You and your bf have been dating for 1.5yrs and you plan to ring in the New Year's together. His brother invites you to a New Year's party but you and your bf decide to rent movies and have dinner together instead. Then on New Year's Eve. at around 7:30pm your bf calls and says that he's going to the party at his brothers and will call you when he's leaving so that you can ring in the new year together, however he doesn't call you until 11:50pm. What do you do???

Me I'd leave his arse and ignore his calls. This happened to one of my co-workers and today she got flowers from him apologizing but she doesn't know if she should take him back or not.

Also I asked why she didn't go to the party too she said that she didn't want to, she really wanted them to spend some one-on-one time.

My first answer was yes but after I thought on it some more no.

Why? Because at 7:30 pm, if she did not tell him that she preferred to stay home like planned and explained to him then that that was where he needed to be, then no. You have to be specific with men and if she didn't tell him this then he thought it was ok to be over there without her in the first place.

Secondly, if she didn't make her objections known, at 11-11:30pm she should have been heading to where he was if it was important that they be together. Did she call him before then? And, when he called at 11:50 pm, she should have been on her way over there dressed to kill (hypothetically, not literally) with bells on to see what was really up for herself. Did they stay on the phone through the countdown and all?

No need to speculate about whether he was with another girl now. Chalk it up as a lesson learned. Not worth breaking up over. Not this time anyway.

 

[redbone_412]

I think, for me, what would bother me the most is that he did not include me in his new plans. I say this b/c they originally made plans together, he changed those at the last minute instead of saying "hey, let's go to my brother's instead" or even getting her feedback. But on the flip side, she may not have addressed that and he thought it was all good.

I can't say I would break up but there would be major h*ll to pay

I guess, like someone else stated, it depends on the depth of our relationship.

 

[Dee_33]

Re: Would you dump him after this??? - UPDATED

She called him and said that they should have dinner to discuss this...his reply "What is there to discuss, I said I'm sorry and I sent flowers, plus I really don't see what I did that was so wrong". So she said she told him that they should take a break esp. if he can't see that he was inconsiderate.

 

[texasqt]

Re: Would you dump him after this??? - UPDATED

She called him and said that they should have dinner to discuss this...his reply "What is there to discuss, I said I'm sorry and I sent flowers, plus I really don't see what I did that was so wrong". So she said she told him that they should take a break esp. if he can't see that he was inconsiderate.

See, he thought he was being considerate when he called her at 7:30 to tell her the change. Did she not object??? He was trying to be considerate when he almost forgot to call and did at 11:50 pm. He was trying to be considerate when he apologized and sent flowers. He can't go back to that day so what else does she want him to do? And yes, what else is there to discuss?
I'm not necessarily taking his side on anything, its just that when you point the finger at someone you got three pointing back at you. I'm interested to know how did she handle it when it was going down. If she objected and he still did the fool, then yes they probably need a break. But if she was silent and expected him to "assume" - has she ever heard the saying that when you assume, you make an ASSouttaU&ME???

He didn't have to call. He could've just disappeared on her. He didn't have to apologize, he could have said, 'oh the hellz well!'
He ain't perfect and men are selfish by nature. After 18 months, she knows her man but I'm guessing there's more to it that hasn't been shared...if she doesn't want to be with him, then so be it.

Have they seen each other since the first???


This old lady in me needs a nap!

 

[esoterica]

I agree with texasqt!

 

[Dee_33]

Re: Would you dump him after this??? - UPDATED

After 18 months, she knows her man but I'm guessing there's more to it that hasn't been shared...if she doesn't want to be with him, then so be it. (I think so too)

 

[Nina_deF]

Eeerr...yes, that would be a wrap for me.
He would find himself dumped after something like this!

Guess we are cold up here because his shadow would not darken my doorway again.

 

[determined_to_grow]

Re: Would you dump him after this??? - UPDATED

She called him and said that they should have dinner to discuss this...his reply "What is there to discuss, I said I'm sorry and I sent flowers, plus I really don't see what I did that was so wrong". So she said she told him that they should take a break esp. if he can't see that he was inconsiderate.

Why does he have an attitude???? I think she did the right thing by suggesting that they should take a break...

 

[sonce]

I dont know if I would dump him but he would have some MAJOR making up to do...

Ditto. If he wasn't with another woman and has otherwise been great and I love him, then he can still make it up with me. However, if I hear any rumors of some hussy, then I'm out regardless of how great he seems to be and how much I love him.

 

[sonce]

Re: Would you dump him after this??? - UPDATED

Why does he have an attitude???? I think she did the right thing by suggesting that they should take a break...

Wait a sec, I just saw the update. Your question is on point. Why does this wrongdoer have an attitude with the person he wronged? Now, that would be grounds for a dumping because I hate when people think they can dictate how and when I should get over things.