Would you date him?

HollyGolightly1982

HollyGolightly1982

Well-Known Member
Here is the low down

33 never married no children
In school studying chinese medicine/acupuncture
Owns condo in fab neighborhood
Loves his momma takes her to church nearly every Sunday
Seems very family oriented
Very sweet and chivalrous

100,000+ plus in debt from school loans
Rarely has time to "hang out" due to course load

So... would you date him?
 
I would....but I like my space too so the fact that he has a heavy course load wouldn't be a detriment. Also the debt is from school loans, unfortunately that happens. Now if it were CC debt due to living above and beyond ones means that would be a little different.

Do you know where his head is regarding dating? What are you looking for? Dating doesn't mean you have to be exclusive...
 
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IN A HEARTBEAT!!! School isn't forever, and while you're dating, and getting to know him, he can be chipping away at those school loans. I wouldn't marry someone with that kind of debt, but in terms of dating, we'll be just fine. :yep:
 
I am actually in the process of getting a divorce. I am a mom so I really am not trying to rush into anything too serious right now.

He says he would like to be settled down by the time he is forty.
 
If I wasn't looking for anything serious, then yes, I'd date him. :yep:

If I was, I'd still go out with him but keep my eyes WIDE open because he's not trying to be settled until he's 40. That's too long for me as someone trying to get married for the first time (and wanting to do so sooner rather than later), but if I was just trying to get back in the game, I would go for it. He sounds nice.
 
In a second. This man has so much going for him. I will not use the potential word bc that seems so insulting. He so much to give and he treats his mother well. Something that struck me with my DH when I met him. He treats me like a queen. Just have fun with this guy. I wish you luck.


ETA:
HollyGolightly1982 said:
Here is the low down

33 never married no children GOOD :up:
In school studying chinese medicine/acupuncture Shows he is open minded, interested in learning and will have reasonable earning potential in the future
Owns condo in fab neighborhood GOOD - shows it cares about his environment :up:
Loves his momma takes her to church nearly every Sunday VERY GOOD SIGN :up:
Seems very family oriented VERY GOOD SIGN :up:
Very sweet and chivalrous I like this :up:

100,000+ plus in debt from school loans Not the ideal but can be worked off in 5 - 10 years when he starts earning
Rarely has time to "hang out" due to course load Show's he is committed and not a joker. You can make it work to your advantage by dating non-exclusively for a while to see if it will work without fear of being pressured by him

So... would you date him? I would certainly seriously consider it
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Bunny77 said:
If I wasn't looking for anything serious, then yes, I'd date him. :yep:

If I was, I'd still go out with him but keep my eyes WIDE open because he's not trying to be settled until he's 40. That's too long for me as someone trying to get married for the first time (and wanting to do so sooner rather than later), but if I was just trying to get back in the game, I would go for it. He sounds nice.
Click to expand...

He was engaged to someone who he dated for two years but it ended last February. I have made it clear to him that I have no intention of waiting past two years for an engagement ring and he still continues to call me and ask me out. Maybe he thinks I am joking but I am serious
 
I would definately. He sounds like a great guy. Like someone else mentioned, his debt is not from living irresponsibly.
 
I would need to hang out with him to make an honest opinion on if I would date him. Sounds good on paper (excluding the 100k debt) but everything isn't always what it seems.
 
I would if I enjoyed his company. IMO, school loan debt isn't a dealbreaker for me. Taking out loans to improve ones self and their career is an investment. It's not like credit card debt. Same goes for his time being spent at school.
 
Yeah, the debt isn't even really the issue here. It sucks that he has it, but unfortunately, it's a sign of the times with the rising cost of education.

Plus, if he's resourceful, there are ways he can get that loan paid off more quickly... and I'd rather someone have education debt over credit card debt as well.


The thing that was the eyebrow-raiser to me (again, as someone ready to settle down) was the fact that he was still in school and not established... usually, these guys want to wait until they "have something to offer" before they get hitched. Even if I'm cool with dating/marrying a college student, he usually is not cool with having the responsibility of a wife along with studies, establishing a career, etc.

I've been through this, dating an older college student and HE being the one who was uncomfortable knowing that I was looking to settle down and he wasn't gonna be there for another three years.

I know Holly's circumstances are different, but that's my general reason why I would be wary of getting too involved with him, especially, seeing that he said he wanted to settle down around 40 and the circumstances behind his past relationship.

But a few dates? Sure. No problem with that.
 
Sorry to hear about your divorce Holly. :bighug: It sounds like this guy is, at least, worth getting to know a little better. How is he with children?
 
HollyGolightly1982 said:
Here is the low down

33 never married no children
In school studying chinese medicine/acupuncture
Owns condo in fab neighborhood
Loves his momma takes her to church nearly every Sunday
Seems very family oriented
Very sweet and chivalrous

100,000+ plus in debt from school loans
Rarely has time to "hang out" due to course load

So... would you date him?
Click to expand...

How much longer does he have in school? Six months to a year? I see nothing wrong with that. A day longer than a year, then I wouldn't want to waste his time nor mine.
 
HollyGolightly1982 said:
Here is the low down

33 never married no children
In school studying chinese medicine/acupuncture
Owns condo in fab neighborhood
Loves his momma takes her to church nearly every Sunday
Seems very family oriented
Very sweet and chivalrous

100,000+ plus in debt from school loans
Rarely has time to "hang out" due to course load

So... would you date him?
Click to expand...

Awww how sweet! Although I hope he is not a momma's boy. Momma's boys are never fun to date. Ever! Watch out!
 
You should find out more about the debt thing. Is it all student loans or is he wreckless with his finances- most people are not going to devulge that from the beginning- they will slowly ease you into the truth.
Aside from that he does not sound like he's "into you". I received an e-mail the other day that said something like this: "If a man loves you, you can't keep him away and if he doesn't love you, you can't make him stay. He sounds like he is looking for something casual. I also say that how it begins is how it will end. If he is not head over heals for you now- where is there to go from there? If you even have to ask, "should I", that should make you think long and hard. If you are looking for something casual (some some company), he sounds like your man. If you are looking for something long term, I think you should continue the journey.
 
HollyGolightly1982 said:
Here is the low down

33 never married no children
In school studying chinese medicine/acupuncture
Owns condo in fab neighborhood
Loves his momma takes her to church nearly every Sunday
Seems very family oriented
Very sweet and chivalrous

100,000+ plus in debt from school loans
Rarely has time to "hang out" due to course load

So... would you date him?
Click to expand...
IDK :look: I can't make a sound judgement based on the information given. But I bet I would probably talk to him so I can get to know the real character and do a thorough background search and credit check. Obviously there is something that isn't settling well with you because you had to ask. Trust your instinct on this.
 
HollyGolightly1982 said:
Here is the low down

33 never married no children
In school studying chinese medicine/acupuncture
Owns condo in fab neighborhood
Loves his momma takes her to church nearly every Sunday
Seems very family oriented
Very sweet and chivalrous

100,000+ plus in debt from school loans
Rarely has time to "hang out" due to course load

So... would you date him?
Click to expand...

Sure, I'd date him. Looks ok on paper. :grin:
 
HollyGolightly1982 said:
Here is the low down

33 never married no children
In school studying chinese medicine/acupuncture
Owns condo in fab neighborhood
Loves his momma takes her to church nearly every Sunday
Seems very family oriented
Very sweet and chivalrous

100,000+ plus in debt from school loans
Rarely has time to "hang out" due to course load

So... would you date him?
Click to expand...


well, we would hang out as friends, that's it n that's all. would i consider a relationship with him? ummm....NO. i'm still tryna understand why all the debt for chinese medicine/accupuncture...what, is he staying in school to keep his loans deferred....besides, something about this seems a lil sketchy.
 
What's his earning potential once he's finished with school. I honestly have no idea how much acupuncturists make or what someone would do with a chinese medicine degree.

If he won't be making a ton of money, then a great bit of his future income will probably go to student loans. Does he work now as well as go to school?

Nothing at all wrong with dating him, but there would be a bunch of questions to be answered on those first couple of dates.
 
michelle81 said:
What's his earning potential once he's finished with school. I honestly have no idea how much acupuncturists make or what someone would do with a chinese medicine degree.

If he won't be making a ton of money, then a great bit of his future income will probably go to student loans. Does he work now as well as go to school?

Nothing at all wrong with dating him, but there would be a bunch of questions to be answered on those first couple of dates.
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He works as a waiter
 
acupuncturists make great money....but first hes going to have to build up his client base and that takes time. if all that debt is tsudent loans thats not so bad and him being a waiter isn't horrible cause waiters can can make decent money not all of them are poor,lol. take you time and get to know him on a deeper level, December will be here before you know it, if he can work you into his busy schedule I say give it a shot.
 
HollyGolightly1982 said:
Here is the low down

33 never married no children
In school studying chinese medicine/acupuncture
Owns condo in fab neighborhood
Loves his momma takes her to church nearly every Sunday
Seems very family oriented
Very sweet and chivalrous

100,000+ plus in debt from school loans
Rarely has time to "hang out" due to course load

So... would you date him?
Click to expand...

So he's over 100 grand in debt but still sunk more money into buying a condo in a 'fab neighborhood' (= $$$ in my mind) and isn't studying something that's acutally going to make him money (unless he gets an Oprahvention)? Nu-huh, no way:look:.

Besides, every time he bought me something I'd be thinking on the inside "why don't you pay down your loans then!"
 
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