Would you be upset if your good friend was trying to befriend you ex

Would it bother you?

  • Yes

    Votes: 77 92.8%

  • No

    Votes: 6 7.2%
  • Total voters
    83
Reading these responses is definitely an eye opener for me. I never though people has such strong feelings about it. When it comes to my exes (with the exception of one whom I'm good friends with), when we broke up, it was completely over. I don't own them and vice versa. I don't care what they do with their lives.

With that said I never had a desire to befriend a friends ex.
 
greenandchic said:
Reading these responses is definitely an eye opener for me. I never though people has such strong feelings about it. When it comes to my exes (with the exception of one whom I'm good friends with), when we broke up, it was completely over. I don't own them and vice versa. I don't care what they do with their lives.

With that said I never had a desire to befriend a friends ex.
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I remember a friend complaining that his family still talked to his ex girlfriend. They liked and loved her both before and after they broke up. I didn't mean to be insensitive toward him, but I was just like, "They can be friends with whoever they want to." I couldn't figure it out, like, because you don't like her anymore no one else should like her either?
 
This happened to me. While I was dating a guy (we were together for 3 years) one of my friends always used to comment about how he was so good looking, should be a model, dressed really nice etc. She made these comments on numerous occasions so I kind of figured out she liked him.

Around the time we broke up, I bumped into a mutual friend of mine and my ex's and he was asking me what the deal was with my friend, he thought she was crazy and went on to tell me that she had met them on a night out and went home with another friend of our's, my ex was also there on this occasion.

The next time I saw her she was telling me she wanted nothing more to do with the guy she went home with, the next time I saw her after that she told me she was pregnant by my ex and that he was denying the baby. She never mentioned that she was hooking up with him, but thought I needed to know this (LOL).

Luckily for her my ex and I were still good friends so I called him and asked what the deal was. He claimed it was a one night stand and a week later, she calls him saying she was pregnant, he wasn't having any of it, he also commented on the fact that she had also slept with his friend, he was like who does that? As far as he was concerned, if she was really pregnant, it could have been anybody's.

I talked him into accepting the pregnancy until he could prove otherwise, I know he's not that guy that would not want to be involved in his child's life or do the right thing. When the baby was born, he looked just like my ex so he fully accepted the child.

Every time she had an issue with my ex she used to call me, I had to cut her in her tracks, 1. not my business, 2. you can't expect me to be getting involved every time something goes wrong, 3. it's not fair to put me in the middle (I was in a relationship with someone else at this point) 4. this was obviously something you wanted so handle your business!



To answer the question, it would depend on a few things, if I were on good terms with the ex and they were open about it then no, I wouldn't have a problem. If it was an ex where the relationship ended badly, that I didn't have no contact with it would bother me a little as it would have an impact on the relationship I have with the friend, I would also question why my friend would want to get into it with one of my ex's, after all he's my ex for a reason right?

Bottom line I think it would be the secretiveness that would bother me the most, why would you need to hide it?
 
I had my best friend do this and clearly we are not friends like that anymore.

I had moved back to my hometown where she lived and I had a SO and she convinced me that the long distance was too strenuous. I agreed. So she hooked me up with a coworker. The coworker and I became serious and she tells me she is infatuated with him and they flirt at work. I tell her well what am I supposed about that. She should have never hooked us up.

She was going to a college in the town I moved from so I called the ex to give her the number to a friend to take her around. Months later, she has a boyfriend, and I admit we did not talk about relationships, because she did not want to hear about all the good things my SO did only the bad things. Well I asked her who she was talking to and she would not say, and I just randomly mentioned the exes name and she had this look of horror on her face. I chased her around the band hall with a broom. Her counter was I did not tell her me and the SO were having problems. Okay, and if I told you, what would you have done.

Now she is in love with my ex and never met him, but when she did she was disappointed by his looks. I said you caused all that drama in OUR relationship just to be shallow. He was a really great guy, and I told her if she hurt him I would kick her arse.

Me and SO broke up and I was seeing other people. One of my friends came to me and said she was talking to my SO. This chick goes running down the hall, lying. My friend snatches the phone from her and now a crowd has gathered and sure enough she was on the phone with him. So she is dating my ex and talking to my former SO. I ask her why was she doing this and she says she knew him first. I said you known me since third grade and that means nothing to you.

We somewhat made amends. I was with SO for three years and she was with my ex for five. Her sister told me last month that she was also with SO before he was with me and I was flabbergasted . And he did her wrong, yet you are going to put him on me and you like this dude.

I am still salty about that. I mean how do you come back from that? I tried to reignite a friendship with her, but she seemed jealous that I got married and started a family. Then the SO requested me. I was going through health issues and the day I found out I was losing my breast was their birthday (yeah, they shared a birthday) so I unfriended them.

I have issues making female friends now too.

Sent from my Galaxy... Whichever one I am on at this time
 
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It depends. An ancient short term exbf? Not really. An exbf I was with for years? Pissed.

Exhusband? We will be throwing down.
 
Men have a "bros before hoes" rule. I live by that same rule with my friends. A friends ex would not even be on my radar. They end it with their men i see no point in continuing it either in honor of my friends feelings.

Idk why women refuse to have a similar code overall.
 
No. Granted, I'd have emotions that ranged from shock to amusement (considering those involved), but upset? Nope. I haven't had contact with my last ex in almost 10 years and, in that time, I met, feel in love with, and married DH (read: have more than moved on with my life). Now, if she started :blah::blah::blah: about "oooooooooh, he's such a great guy... I don't know why you two couldn't make it work..." or "he's so wonderful, I think you were too hard on him", THAT would get on my nerves.
 
Just counselling my male friend now because his best friend and business partner did this and is now with her.

Didn't even wait one week. As a matter a fact he was coming onto her and buying her things when my friend and her were still together:perplexed
 
bluediamond0829 said:
Yes I believe thats just a territory and line you don't cross into. And I mean why would they want to be friends if I'm no longer with him--wouldn't make any type of sense to me. Of ALL the men in the world if my friend was to pick my ex to befriend or find a need to be friends with then she has lost her mind and I would leave both of them alone. She really wouldn't be any friend of mine by doing something like that.
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This why I never have problems with my friends in this area. Why would I want someone who my friend has slept with, slobbered over, poured her heart out too and done gawd knows what else? Doesn't make any sense to me. Those harlots are gonna learn to find their own men!!!! I'm much to arrogant to want my friend's former men. No thanks, I can find my own. A man who my friend(s) has talked to is TOTALLY OFF LIMITS!!

Where I'm from, these harlots get beat to a pulp for crossing those sacred lines. lmao!!! :bat: :bat: :bat:
 
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*~*Afrolicious*~* said:
I'm not a violent person, but if anyone, whether its a new friend or BFF, ANYONE tried to be friends with my ex or hook up with them... all I'll say is I will not be responsible for my actions. ESPECIALLY when these people know how evil he acted?!? :hardslap::hardslap::hardslap::hardslap:
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"Whoop that trick!!!!" :bat:.........: Then let me get in a lick!!! Death before dishonor over a dang-a-lang.
 
FemmeFatale said:
I don't think she necessarily wants him, I think she wants to know if she could pull him.
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This reminds me of some family members. I think it makes their twat wet to see if they can pull who I once had. If it makes them feel better than oh well. It's nice to be able to donate to the less fortunate.
 
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