Re: Well...
Thanks for your post BE.
It is the parent's responsibility to learn how to take care of their child--from finding the right schools and health care to learning how to handle their hair. Especially for a femaie child.
Just as there are plenty of examples of BW using relaxers to manage their child's hair there also are PLENTY of examples of pretty black girls with nicely braided, well-groomed, unrelaxed hair. Just yesterday I saw a black woman with her child. The woman had a relaxer. The girl had waist-length, long, unrelaxed hair in braids and was BLACK. I asked the mom what she did to do her girl's hair and she said that once a week she washed, conditioned, used a lot of detangler and braided it. (Which is basically all that black natural hair needs when you are a child.)
I have a cousin who was a single parent. He didn't know how to do his daughter's hair SO HIS SOLUTION was to take his daughter to a salon every two weeks to get her hair shampooed, conditioned and braided--no relaxer (until he got a wife. /images/graemlins/smile.gif He actually married the girl who would do his daughter's hair.
I don't think that the ENTIRE community of Black women are clueless on how to do their child's hair. (Actually little girls with unrelaxed hair have some of the longest, thickest hair. After black women unproperly relax, is when the problems seem to begin.)
As I said it is the parent's responsiblity to SEEK OUT SOLUTIONS--both black and white parents of Black children. Not traumatize the child by getting on national tv and saying that she has the worst hair in the world. I think that it is even more emotionally damaging to a Black child to be told they have "bad hair" when their mother's hair is naturally straight or considered "good hair".
Maybe I am naive because I never wore a perm--I did have some challenges years ago in H.S. But these days I don't see all this hate on black textured hair. (More celebs from Maxwell to Jill Scott are sporting the look and that has promoted more information and acceptance of all hair types.)
I don't think there is an "alarming" number of Black folk who see black hair as bad hair. A few years back in my college days, in the 90's women with short naturals were like some of hottest chicks on the campus. There was one professor who had a short natural and everyone thought she was beautiful. A few White men have told me that they like women who wear short natural hair styles.
One of my good friends looks like she has 4B or 4S short natural hair. She keeps it about one-half inch long. When we go out together she gets A LOT OF GAME.
Last summer I wore my natural hair out at my very conservative job and no one said any thing negative to me. Guys would describe the look as "banging" and "sexy." (At lunch one time one of the girls at the gig told me that I should get a perm, but everyone else at the table told her to basically shut up. I didn't have to say a word.)
I do think, however, that folks are just now getting used to seeing and managing longer naturally textured styles. But in the last few years there has been more information on how to manage natural hair. All the White sister with a Black child has to do is a little research, or when she sees the mother of a Black child with hair like her girl's, she should ask for help. We as a people are usually very generous at helping White folk understand things, especially when it comes to a child's hair.
Sorry that the note is so long and I am outta here.
--kc
