WHY WHY WHY!!! Your So Called Friends!!!!!

[Avin'sMom2010]

UGHHH, I really was debating on if I should post this or not, I don't want to give in to negative energy, so I'll try to make it brief.....I cut my hair down to about 1-1 1/2 inches in Sept 05' and my best friend since 8th grade says to me" Why you cut your hair It'll be "funny" if your hair don't grow back!! Why You want natural hair anyway, I don't like like natural hair when my edges get nappy it's time for a perm" Anyways TODAY I had my hair out in a bantu knot so it was looking real cute like a fluffy cloud and I had my shades on top of my hair and my hair is 9 1/2 to 10 inches when stretched, she was like "Those shades ain't gone help it" UGHHH.. why do folks have to be so negative. (BTW, I have texturized the back lower portion of my hair to match the rest of my hair, leaving the relaxer on for 5 minutes, but everything else is natural.

So she comes over to visit today AS SOON as I opened the door she was like I hope you don't think that's cute you could comb your hair you know, and I'm like what?? Why are you all up in my hair, to each his own!! All the while she's wearing her hair slicked back in a barbie doll special ponytail from the BSS, I mean she was going on and on about how she can't wear natural hair because her hair is TOO thick (yeah right) the one who puts a relaxer in every 4 weeks so that her edges won't be nappy!! Her hair has been the same length for atleast the last 15 years!!

I told her that I had a earache and she's like that's because you wash your hair everyday black people don't do that, I was like I have been washing everyday for the past 1 and a half years and this is the first time I ever had a earache, I was like I can't help it if I want a clean scalp and fresh smelling hair everyday......Then to shut her up I told her that my hair has grown tremendously from all the things that I do so I pulled down a piece of my hair to show her the length from behind my ear my hair is just shy of armpit length, she couldn't say NOTHING!! Then I leaned my head back in order to grab the back of my hair and she starts laughing saying see you cant reach it, but once I grabbed it and pulled it down to show that it was almost to my armpit, SHE WAS NOT EXPECTING all that SHRINKAGE!! LOL she couldn't say another word about my hair the rest of the time she was here!!

ALL THIS TO SAY....FORGET THEM HATERS!!!! IT'S ALL JEALOUSY!!WHICH IS SO SAD SINCE WE HAVE BEEN FRIENDS FOR OVER 20 YEARS sorry so long!!

 

[Bmack]

I would pay her no damn attention. It seems as if she is hating on the fact that your hair did grow back and it looks great.

 

[Bint Yusef]

Does she have any other redeeming qualities?
If not, let her go.

 

[Kimberly]

You are a good friend becase if she had said something like that to me when I opened the door, I would have closed it right in her face, not have thought anything about it, and gone on about my day.

 

[Sha76]

Does she have any other redeeming qualities?
If not, let her go.

that is what I am wondering

 

[PuffyBrown]

I just have to pray for people like that.

"Father God" I pray that all of my sisters on earth can find themselves from within. I pray God that all my sisters on earth can shed this stereotype that has been so mind-driven in our culture. Give us strength to face the things that we cannot not change and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen
I am just glad that I have met a group of real sisters who know the meaning of friendship and respect.

 

[Avin'sMom2010]

Does she have any other redeeming qualities?
If not, let her go.

She is like my only long term friend, I have friends from work but we don't hang out...other than this hair thing she is a good person and we have alot in common I'll continue to be her friend because I don't think she knows any better (brainwashed to think that straight only=beauty)..

 

[pinkdot's blog]

I told her that I had a earache and she's like that's because you wash your hair everyday black people don't do that, I was like I have been washing everyday for the past 1 and a half years and this is the first time I ever had a earache, I was like I can't help it if I want a clean scalp and fresh smelling hair everyday......Then to shut her up I told her that my hair has grown tremendously from all the things that I do so I pulled down a piece of my hair to show her the length from behind my ear my hair is just shy of armpit length, she couldn't say NOTHING!! Then I leaned my head back in order to grab the back of my hair and she starts laughing saying see you cant reach it, but once I grabbed it and pulled it down to show that it was almost to my armpit, SHE WAS NOT EXPECTING all that SHRINKAGE!! LOL she couldn't say another word about my hair the rest of the time she was here!!

ALL THIS TO SAY....FORGET THEM HATERS!!!! IT'S ALL JEALOUSY!!WHICH IS SO SAD SINCE WE HAVE BEEN FRIENDS FOR OVER 20 YEARS sorry so long!!

Please, don't let the negative energy bother you. Your hair spoke for itself.

 

[Avin'sMom2010]

I just have to pray for people like that.

"Father God" I pray that all of my sisters on earth can find themselves from within. I pray God that all my sisters on earth can shed this stereotype that has been so mind-driven in our culture. Give us strength to face the things that we cannot not change and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen
I am just glad that I have met a group of real sisters who know the meaning of friendship and respect.

THANK YOU, I really needed this!!!! God bless you!!

 

[guesswho]

You can't let people talk to you like that 20 years as friends don't make it right! And further more she can't be your friend because real friends don't do that, the fact that she got you upset or ruffle your spirits is reason enough to tell her off.. Real friends are happy for you when you are happy about something regardless of oppinions, bottom line is she was being mean!

 

[Avin'sMom2010]

You can't let people talk to you like that 20 years as friends don't make it right! And further more she can't be your friend because real friends don't do that, the fact that she got you upset or ruffle your spirits is reason enough to tell her off.. Real friends are happy for you when you are happy about something regardless of oppinions, bottom line is she was being mean!

You know I think about this alot, but I guess I put up with it because I am an only child and I had always thought of her as like the sister I never had, and I just figure everbody cant be like me, I would NEVER dream of saying those things to someone, so I'll leave it in the hands of God and I will continue to be the best person I can be to her and everyone one else around me, even though she HURT me she didn't KILL me!!

 

[soxie119]

Pay her no mind and continue to do your thing girl.

 

[Averoigne]

You know I think about this alot, but I guess I put up with it because I am an only child and I had always thought of her as like the sister I never had, and I just figure everbody cant be like me, I would NEVER dream of saying those things to someone, so I'll leave it in the hands of God and I will continue to be the best person I can be to her and everyone one else around me, even though she HURT me she didn't KILL me!!

She hurt you because she is hurting deep down inside. I admire the way you are handling this; you have a lot of grace.

 

[CAPlush]

I think your friend is really insecure and because you've been friends for so long she is intimidated that you are making positive changes in your hair especially since she has been programmed to believe that these changes aren't even possible. I think that you can have a perfectly healthy friendship without ever bringing up hair. You should talk to her about that, tell her "If you don't make me feel bad about my hair, I won't make you feel bad about yours. Hair is an off limits topic of conversation/criticism." But I don't think you should continue to put up with the verbal abuse, it is uncalled for.

 

[Hidden_Angel]

HEAD UP your hir looks beautiful

 

[MommaMayhann]

You haven't told her about LHCF have you? I understand if you haven't... Some folks just don't get the whole hair "thing" we got going on . She couldn't possibly have the same attitude if she spent just a little bit of time hangin with us. (IMO, we some pretty happenin ladies) Plus if she knew that she too could be glowin & flowin she wouldn't be stinkin up the joint with her "hate funk".

 

[Radianthealth]

There are lots of people in the world like this. It is up to you to gradually phase her negative ars out of your life.

I learned this is what I had to do with people like this. I have a friend that I have known from the sixth grade, because she is unsupportive and negative I don't keep in touch.

Try to find people that are positive, happy, and fun to be around. Friends should not bring you down

Good Luck in cutting her loose!

 

[Avin'sMom2010]

You haven't told her about LHCF have you? I understand if you haven't... Some folks just don't get the whole hair "thing" we got going on . She couldn't possibly have the same attitude if she spent just a little bit of time hangin with us. (IMO, we some pretty happenin ladies) Plus if she knew that she too could be glowin & flowin she wouldn't be stinkin up the joint with her "hate funk".

Girl, Yes I told her and even showed her my hair album before, she is not interested in it at all she says that she doesn't hair if here hair grows or not so I never bring up the subject,(plus she doesn't have internet).... but she always wants me to put her relaxer in every 4 weeks or sooner I try to tell her to tie her hair up at night and other little things and the thing is she wears her hair slicked back with a phony pony but she will not baggy she just puts it up in a RUBBER BAND ends all frayed sticking up then puts the pony on top, I'm like if you just cover the ends you will see progress trust me...she still doesn't listen so I don't bring it up any more....SHE brings up this mess!!

 

[sareca]

I just have to pray for people like that.

"Father God" I pray that all of my sisters on earth can find themselves from within. I pray God that all my sisters on earth can shed this stereotype that has been so mind-driven in our culture. Give us strength to face the things that we cannot not change and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen
I am just glad that I have met a group of real sisters who know the meaning of friendship and respect.

Amen.


I know it's easier said than done, but just let it go. She'll see your wisdom soon enough.

 

[MizAvalon]

Girl, Yes I told her and even showed her my hair album before, she is not interested in it at all she says that she doesn't hair if here hair grows or not so I never bring up the subject,(plus she doesn't have internet).... but she always wants me to put her relaxer in every 4 weeks or sooner I try to tell her to tie her hair up at night and other little things and the thing is she wears her hair slicked back with a phony pony but she will not baggy she just puts it up in a RUBBER BAND ends all frayed sticking up then puts the pony on top, I'm like if you just cover the ends you will see progress trust me...she still doesn't listen so I don't bring it up any more....SHE brings up this mess!!

Let me guess? She "doesn't have time for all that mess!", right? Why is it that those people are always the first ones trying to give advice and tell you about YOUR hair?erplexed

If she's acting like this now, wait until your hair really gets long. Please post her reaction to THAT so we can all crack up.

 

[sholly6]

just pray for her maybe she just unhappy about something about her self you never know.

 

[Mars_Reiko]

Ain't that something. I'll expect to hear something like that from some person on the street, but not from my friend for over 20 years. I wouldn't pay her no attention, but after I set her straight. I can't believe she said black people don't wash their hair everyday.

 

[caribeandiva]

hey i used to get the same comments from my best friends of over 6 years. now when i wear my hair down i don't hear a peep out of them. Damn that feels good! that truly is the best revenge. I agree it's all jealousy and insecurity.

 

[lsubabiedee]

people without hair or with jacked up hair are always the first to open their mouths to say something negative about yours. i don't know if they are insecure, or just need a hug. i say they need a slap.

 

[glamazon386]

I can just imagine the look on her face. Don't worry about her. Next she'll be asking you how can she be down after seeing how pretty and long your hair is.

OT: caribeandiva pretty siggy pic!!

 

[caribeandiva]

I can just imagine the look on her face. Don't worry about her. Next she'll be asking you how can she be down after seeing how pretty and long your hair is.

OT: caribeandiva pretty siggy pic!!

thank you so much! i spent a lot of time debating whether to post it or not. I'm glad i did.

 

[blazingthru]

I think that you are very nice person but she will keep on until you tell her. Use yourself as an example. You never say or do things to hurt her so why is she doing it to you. Give her examples: She is blind to her own faults so as her friend you have to open her eyes. I have a friendship like that. My best friend said I could never grow hair long. Since I never had long hair I never will its all in the genes I said I don't believe that. She has said a lot of mean and hateful things. Until I gave it all back to her put it all back in her lap and then I asked her tell me one thing Just one thing that I did as long as you have known me, (and its been twenty years) to you and she couldn't say one thing. Not one thing. I said I can't understand whats in you that wants to hurt me that I would never say or do the things that you have done to me and you say your my friend- Then I would walk away or hang up the phone and let her stew on it and you know what it worked. If she slides back I immediately cut it down and let her know hey your going the wrong direction. Plus I told her flat outright there is nothing in me that wants to hurt you even if I know your wrong I am going to tell you the truth in LOVE Keyword - in love.

 

[LuvLiLocks]

This is kinda sad, I thought friends were supposed to be supportive.

 

[glamazon386]

This is kinda sad, I thought friends were supposed to be supportive.

That makes you wonder if they're really your friend or not

OT - Aww caribeandiva why'd you debate about it?

 

[Xavier]

Yes friends may clown on each other from time to time, and it may even lead to hurt feelings...but what she is doing goes beyond that. I would seriously tell her how you feel. It may eventually cause you to explode one day having built up all of this furstration and anger she is causing with her negative commons about your hair.