Why the STIGMA when Weave is INVOLVED?
- Thread starter belyak
- Start date
Boujoichic
New Member
While I dont agree with everything she said in the video I do agree there is a stigma where weave is involved. I actually see it quite frequently on this board.
OsnapCnapp!
New Member
I have noticed it on this board too.....as if you'd go straight to hell for wearing weave. But Im like you....you don't like it...too bad.
Chaosbutterfly
Transition Over
Because most people assume that women who wear weaves do it because they have none of their own and are attempting to trick others into thinking that they do.
Generally, folks frown upon that.
ETA: But I actually don't think weave is stigmatized on this board. It seems to me that it's considered just another protective style...like a wig or half wig, or phony pony or braids. I think weave wearers start to get side eye when they do unconventional things to wear their weaves. Like a natural 4a/b getting a silky weave and relaxing her edges to blend with the weave. Or people buying weave with nit shells on it and being okay with it. That kind of thing.
Generally, folks frown upon that.
ETA: But I actually don't think weave is stigmatized on this board. It seems to me that it's considered just another protective style...like a wig or half wig, or phony pony or braids. I think weave wearers start to get side eye when they do unconventional things to wear their weaves. Like a natural 4a/b getting a silky weave and relaxing her edges to blend with the weave. Or people buying weave with nit shells on it and being okay with it. That kind of thing.
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OsnapCnapp!
New Member
OMG! I actually went back and watched the video. That girl is the type that would get slapped. Seriously. Criticizing people for how they choose to look and it she actually sounds mad about! Gawd I hate that. If you see someone with a bad weave why even keep looking their way. If that's the way they want to look then that's their choice. Ewww she just had a funky funky attitude gawd. It is hard to listen to any kind of point she may have been trying to make, which was none at all really, when you have an attitude like that.
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Weaving isn't exactly instant. A lot of people go to great lengths to get the right hair - just check out bhm. In fact finding the right hair at your local bss might prove to be a challenge since they're always out of the pattern, length or color you want. Online vendors are no different. And installing and getting it right - this is a craft that requires a lot of skill and it's no walk in the park.
"Trick" is a negative word and I don't think it applies to weave. Trick has connotations of cheating or stealing. You aren't doing either when you wear a weave. And more importantly it should not be overlooked that some women wear weaves because of hair loss. Some people will display their heads with thinning and/or balding hair and don't care but others are very sensitive about it and don't want to be seen so they resort to wigs and weaves - that should be respected. I'm not debating you btw - I think you're just reporting what people say or may be thinking and I'm posting the counter argument to that.
I agree that there are sometimes negative attitudes here about weave and this isn't surprising coz there are always people in real time/offline who feel the same way. I do experience a little of it in real time. I find it kinda annoying and wish everyone would respect other people's choices and basically leave each other alone when it comes to hair.
Dragon_Of_Vaeros
New Member
She sounds angry to me. I hope I never meet her in Houston.
OsnapCnapp!
New Member
Ditto!! I hope she is nowhere near Mo City or the Southwest.....just terrible!
erplexed
pureebony
New Member
sorry but when it comes to my hair- mind your own.
if you dont like it unless i asked for your opinion- dont give it.
and if you want to say something constructive- cool i will take it.
I am natural had my own hair out, weaves braids etc.
i find people that are so ignorant about hair seem to think that weave is a code for no hair!?!!? im like no- erh its not.
you do you and i do me, if i wanna rock a braid out so what? if i wanna rock a weave its not yours to comment on- simple as.
all the famous celebs and non celebs wear at least something added, either it be nails, hair, eyelashes, make up (that is also something you were not naturally given) at the end of the day it doesn't matter.
jst chill observe and move on... life is more than hair.... like seriously.
btw im rocking a weave- whooop whooop!!
if you dont like it unless i asked for your opinion- dont give it.
and if you want to say something constructive- cool i will take it.
I am natural had my own hair out, weaves braids etc.
i find people that are so ignorant about hair seem to think that weave is a code for no hair!?!!? im like no- erh its not.
you do you and i do me, if i wanna rock a braid out so what? if i wanna rock a weave its not yours to comment on- simple as.
all the famous celebs and non celebs wear at least something added, either it be nails, hair, eyelashes, make up (that is also something you were not naturally given) at the end of the day it doesn't matter.
jst chill observe and move on... life is more than hair.... like seriously.
btw im rocking a weave- whooop whooop!!
Nix08
Relaxed, 4B
I'm late to the party - wore a weave for my wedding and honeymoon - hated it! However yesterday I watched Chris Rock's movie good hair and was in awe over all that goes into a weave and HOLY HANNA, how much can be spent on a weave, as far as I'm concerned if you spend all that money on something it's yours, all yours!!! SO maybe the weave hate is simply ignorance.
Boujoichic
New Member
IA with pure ebony people seem to think if you wear a weave you are bald headed or your hair is thin or you have no edges. Wearing a weave takes research and investment I did both these things and because of that I have been able to grow out my hair with installs with no thinning or damage. Im 100% natural now (transitioned in weaves) and I retained all my growth. I see so many people make generalizations about weaves that I cant help but think there is stigma.
RedVelvet310
New Member
I like her weave though 
Honey Bee
Well-Known Member
There's a stigma, because that hair is not yours. That you're ashamed of a part of your body and need to hide it. To some people, it's a lie or an illusion. Especially for people that don't work on TV, and have few excuses to rely on them. This goes for people black and white.
The way I feel, is it depends on the person and situation. I wore sew weave for a long time as well as braids, so I know what's involved. I think if it's a phony pony or a sew-in, I don't mind, especially if your using this to grow out your natural hair. But I don't like glue weaves+perm. These weaves are VERY damaging to the hair the way that some people way them. When I see a hair dresser that glue some tracks in and their real hair is less than three inches long, I want to cry.
In the past, while I was wearing my hair in twist, I'd drawn the ire of the permed girls who couldn't understand why I was wearing my hair that way. A friend of my asked me one day "When could she do my hair?" I just stared at her home-made weave that had been stuck in her hair, untrimed and her permed hair looking very short and damaged. Instead of telling her the truth, I explained that my hair was fine and she was surprised at how soft it felt. (She thought since it wasn't shiny, it would be dry.)
I think what I hate the most about certain woman perception, is that they believe that this is the only way that they can wear there hair. That the would rather glue in some tracks instead of taking the time to learn their own hair. If it looks good, fine. If it looks realistic, even better. But don't expect a lot of love when you strap in waist-length hair one day. Don't expect a lot from your own hair, when you abuse it with glue and over styling to conceal the proof of your weave. I think people respect people that would grow their own at SL than someone how glues in some BSL that looks nothing like their own.
The way I feel, is it depends on the person and situation. I wore sew weave for a long time as well as braids, so I know what's involved. I think if it's a phony pony or a sew-in, I don't mind, especially if your using this to grow out your natural hair. But I don't like glue weaves+perm. These weaves are VERY damaging to the hair the way that some people way them. When I see a hair dresser that glue some tracks in and their real hair is less than three inches long, I want to cry.
In the past, while I was wearing my hair in twist, I'd drawn the ire of the permed girls who couldn't understand why I was wearing my hair that way. A friend of my asked me one day "When could she do my hair?" I just stared at her home-made weave that had been stuck in her hair, untrimed and her permed hair looking very short and damaged. Instead of telling her the truth, I explained that my hair was fine and she was surprised at how soft it felt. (She thought since it wasn't shiny, it would be dry.)
I think what I hate the most about certain woman perception, is that they believe that this is the only way that they can wear there hair. That the would rather glue in some tracks instead of taking the time to learn their own hair. If it looks good, fine. If it looks realistic, even better. But don't expect a lot of love when you strap in waist-length hair one day. Don't expect a lot from your own hair, when you abuse it with glue and over styling to conceal the proof of your weave. I think people respect people that would grow their own at SL than someone how glues in some BSL that looks nothing like their own.
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SweetSpirit86
New Member
She didn't sound angry to me at all. She sounded like a woman expressing her opinion about a "sensitive" topic. I agree with her to a certain extent. I can't stand bad weaves. If you're going to wear someone else's hair, it needs to look nice. I can look bad all on my own without the help of fake hair.
What I don't agree with, are half of those danged comments. "Wearing a weave means you don't embrace your natural self, blah blah blah..." No, it doesn't. We have relaxed ladies on this board who were natural for years and loved their natural hair but wanted something different. We have naturals on here who will tell you quick, fast, and in a hurry not to put that relaxer on your head, but will press their hair or wear a straight wig for a change every now and then. Desiring change does not necessarily equate to self-hatred. People need to get that through their heads.
What I don't agree with, are half of those danged comments. "Wearing a weave means you don't embrace your natural self, blah blah blah..." No, it doesn't. We have relaxed ladies on this board who were natural for years and loved their natural hair but wanted something different. We have naturals on here who will tell you quick, fast, and in a hurry not to put that relaxer on your head, but will press their hair or wear a straight wig for a change every now and then. Desiring change does not necessarily equate to self-hatred. People need to get that through their heads.
lovegymnasts
New Member
Let's be honest.
IRL (in real life) most people are not wearing weave as a protective style.
It is a crutch and women are dependent on it.
It is to cover up damage.
It is because they do not care about or like their real hair whether it be relaxed or natural.
It's because they do not want to fool with, style, or have to take care of their hair. I hear this a lot.
It's because they want to get the length they think they are unable to grow.
Through observation (I'm a nosy little thing), it appears to me that most people take better care of their weave and extensions than their real hair.
I'm going to be honest, I do not like weave. It blows my mind that people who are struggling to pay bills or complain about money issues are spending hundreds of dollars on weave or extensions. Am I going to go up to someone and say that? Heck naw! That is your decision and your business but in my head and private thoughts, I'm just astounded.
IRL (in real life) most people are not wearing weave as a protective style.
It is a crutch and women are dependent on it.
It is to cover up damage.
It is because they do not care about or like their real hair whether it be relaxed or natural.
It's because they do not want to fool with, style, or have to take care of their hair. I hear this a lot.
It's because they want to get the length they think they are unable to grow.
Through observation (I'm a nosy little thing), it appears to me that most people take better care of their weave and extensions than their real hair.
I'm going to be honest, I do not like weave. It blows my mind that people who are struggling to pay bills or complain about money issues are spending hundreds of dollars on weave or extensions. Am I going to go up to someone and say that? Heck naw! That is your decision and your business but in my head and private thoughts, I'm just astounded.
SweetSpirit86
New Member
Let's be honest.
IRL (in real life) most people are not wearing weave as a protective style.
It is a crutch and women are dependent on it.
It is to cover up damage.
It is because they do not care about or like their real hair whether it be relaxed or natural.
It's because they do not want to fool with, style, or have to take care of their hair. I hear this a lot.
It's because they want to get the length they think they are unable to grow.
Through observation (I'm a nosy little thing), it appears to me that most people take better care of their weave and extensions than their real hair.
I'm going to be honest, I do not like weave. It blows my mind that people who are struggling to pay bills or complain about money issues are spending hundreds of dollars on weave or extensions. Am I going to go up to someone and say that? Heck naw! That is your decision and your business but in my head and private thoughts, I'm just astounded.
ITA with the bolded. I don't care if you wear weave (if you're not trying to pass it off as your own), but that right there...the bill thing...boggles the mind. I can't picture myself going into debt for my hair.
Miss_C
Well-Known Member
Um, am I the only one who made it all the way through the video? She just said she didn't like bad, cheap looking weaves, and the fact that they looked cheap created the stigma. NOT that weaves were bad. Bad looking weaves are bad
. Uhhh, haven't those EXACT sentiments been expressed on this board like a million and one times?
. Uhhh, haven't those EXACT sentiments been expressed on this board like a million and one times?
lovegymnasts
New Member
I liked her!
She was not abrasive to me.
She was not abrasive to me.
e.lauren
Member
I used to look down at weave and weave wearers because the ones I were around were 1. bad and 2. on the heads of people who were convinced their hair was forever ugly and not worth showing. It made me think that people who wear weaves don't love their true and natural selves, and not only did they not love it, they were ashamed.
But then I grew up and I was like "clearly its just another hairstyle" . I had my first weave recently and honestly I'm adding it to my collection of styles for my hair. It adds versatility. There is nothing about it that is to be frowned upon or judged negatively.
People are so obsessed with what OTHER PEOPLE are doing to their own hair and they are so judgmental about it. I truly am embarrassed that years ago I was one of those people. These same people who are up in arms about those who aren't natural.
ETA: I don't see anything wrong with her video in terms of what she is saying. NOBODY likes bad weaves =\
But then I grew up and I was like "clearly its just another hairstyle" . I had my first weave recently and honestly I'm adding it to my collection of styles for my hair. It adds versatility. There is nothing about it that is to be frowned upon or judged negatively.
People are so obsessed with what OTHER PEOPLE are doing to their own hair and they are so judgmental about it. I truly am embarrassed that years ago I was one of those people. These same people who are up in arms about those who aren't natural.
ETA: I don't see anything wrong with her video in terms of what she is saying. NOBODY likes bad weaves =\
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beana
Well-Known Member
I want a weave I agree with the girl in the video to a certain extent too. The reason *I* looked down on people who wore weaves for years is because the majority of people who have them don't wear them well (cheap plasticy looking hair, no efforts to blend the hair at all, etc).
My hair is APL length and would be considered "healthy" by many. My sister inspired me to get a weave, her hair always looks good and she transitioned from 1" relaxed hair to colloar bone length healthy natural hair with weave/wigs. Plus she can style her hair 7 days a week, when my hair only stays "done" for 3 days, 4 if i'm lucky.
I agree with the girl in the video to a certain extent too. The reason *I* looked down on people who wore weaves for years is because the majority of people who have them don't wear them well (cheap plasticy looking hair, no efforts to blend the hair at all, etc).My hair is APL length and would be considered "healthy" by many. My sister inspired me to get a weave, her hair always looks good and she transitioned from 1" relaxed hair to colloar bone length healthy natural hair with weave/wigs. Plus she can style her hair 7 days a week, when my hair only stays "done" for 3 days, 4 if i'm lucky.
danysedai
Well-Known Member
I agree with other posters who said that the stigma is attached to "real life" bad weaves. We have all seen Reniece's weaves and how she gets her clients real hair really nice and growing under the weave.
The problem I have with weave is that,again, in real life, the people I see around me in weaves do not care about their hair under it. Again, note I said the ones I know,my friends in many cases, not anybody in here. One of my friends does not want to deal with her real hair so she,in her own words,"slaps a weave on it", and it kind of literally looks like she just slapped it on, all shiny and plasticky,no blending, no nothing.
A well installed and correctly chosen weave or lacefront can look very beautiful and with knowledge,you can take care of your own hair. But unfortunately that is not the case in real life for many women.For many,it is a crutch that they rely on and cannot let go.
The problem I have with weave is that,again, in real life, the people I see around me in weaves do not care about their hair under it. Again, note I said the ones I know,my friends in many cases, not anybody in here. One of my friends does not want to deal with her real hair so she,in her own words,"slaps a weave on it", and it kind of literally looks like she just slapped it on, all shiny and plasticky,no blending, no nothing.
A well installed and correctly chosen weave or lacefront can look very beautiful and with knowledge,you can take care of your own hair. But unfortunately that is not the case in real life for many women.For many,it is a crutch that they rely on and cannot let go.
belyak
New Member
Lydia is right, if someone who does not know you can tell that the hair is not yours then you have a bad weave. To me a weave should look as natural as possible.
Until LHCF I was one of those women who looked after their weave better than my natural hair. But this only because I believed that black women unless you were mixed (white/Indian) could not have good long hair. And that my hair was as good/long as it ever was going to get. And I agree with those whom have stated that it is crutch that we hide that fact that our natural hair is in such bad condition but yet we still want to look presentable and feel beautiful.
Well now I know better and as I beginning my hair journey I would like to be free of the weave. This does mean I will never wear a weave it just means it will have a different use - instead of hiding my hair it will be protecting it.
Until LHCF I was one of those women who looked after their weave better than my natural hair. But this only because I believed that black women unless you were mixed (white/Indian) could not have good long hair. And that my hair was as good/long as it ever was going to get. And I agree with those whom have stated that it is crutch that we hide that fact that our natural hair is in such bad condition but yet we still want to look presentable and feel beautiful.
Well now I know better and as I beginning my hair journey I would like to be free of the weave. This does mean I will never wear a weave it just means it will have a different use - instead of hiding my hair it will be protecting it.
GraciousMystique
New Member
I think people like to see women in their natural state. Since so many black women wear weaves as opposed to other races, it's become tiresome to some in the black community.
The stigma additionally arises from historical basis, the long lasting quest of many black women for straight, long and silky hair. The fact that 65% of black women relax their hair to achieve a straighter look, the face that some women feel that they would not be accepted if they wore their hair naturally.
When SOME people look at a black woman wearing weave, they think that she is trying to be something she is not, that she is ashamed of who she is, even though that may not be the case (she may be wearing a weave to grow out her hair), but given the historical context, the media display of BW with straight hair, and the fact that so many black women chemically alter their hair, some people may reach the conclusion that a black women wearing weave is overt display of shame.
And I think that some men just like to see a woman in their natural state. I know of some men who hate makeup, they want a woman to be as authentic as possible. Yet at the same time, I know of many who will say Beyonce or Gabrielle Union look attractive even though they weaved up to the max. My cousin is like this. We were walking around my campus, and he said disapprovingly "all these black women with weaves" but then all the women he ever dated wore weave and he is constantly checking out women with weave although he complains about not being able to touch their hair.
I think if black women wore a weave closer to their own texture, it would not be such a big stigma. And not the texture of the girls hair in that video. Erykah Badu ( wears/ wore?) an afro weave and no one made a huge stink about it, because it was so close to her texture it looked natural. When women of other races wear weaves there is less stigma b/c the weaves matches their natural texture. I think if more Black women wore afro weaves, there would not be a stigma.
The stigma additionally arises from historical basis, the long lasting quest of many black women for straight, long and silky hair. The fact that 65% of black women relax their hair to achieve a straighter look, the face that some women feel that they would not be accepted if they wore their hair naturally.
When SOME people look at a black woman wearing weave, they think that she is trying to be something she is not, that she is ashamed of who she is, even though that may not be the case (she may be wearing a weave to grow out her hair), but given the historical context, the media display of BW with straight hair, and the fact that so many black women chemically alter their hair, some people may reach the conclusion that a black women wearing weave is overt display of shame.
And I think that some men just like to see a woman in their natural state. I know of some men who hate makeup, they want a woman to be as authentic as possible. Yet at the same time, I know of many who will say Beyonce or Gabrielle Union look attractive even though they weaved up to the max. My cousin is like this. We were walking around my campus, and he said disapprovingly "all these black women with weaves" but then all the women he ever dated wore weave and he is constantly checking out women with weave although he complains about not being able to touch their hair.
I think if black women wore a weave closer to their own texture, it would not be such a big stigma. And not the texture of the girls hair in that video. Erykah Badu ( wears/ wore?) an afro weave and no one made a huge stink about it, because it was so close to her texture it looked natural. When women of other races wear weaves there is less stigma b/c the weaves matches their natural texture. I think if more Black women wore afro weaves, there would not be a stigma.
knt1229
Well-Known Member
What got me was her saying that you should get a weave that matches your hair texture. BUT, the weave on her head doesn't match her hair texture. Although, her weave looks nice she's guilty of one of the things she was talking so hard against.
And her attitude sucked. She comes off snobby and like a know it all.
And her attitude sucked. She comes off snobby and like a know it all.
Vashti
New Member
My sister wore weaves for a long time (she's relaxed) but she always wore one that had something really close to her own hair texture. She doesn't wear one now but she grew her hair from being almost bald to shoulder length while wearing weaves.
We both know a someone who wears weaves the wrong way. She actually pretends the weave hair is hers and thinks others don't notice. It looks so bad and people talk about her behind her back because it's so ridiculous and fake looking but she's one of those women that can't deal with her own hair. She plays with it and flings it like it's hers.
People just laugh at her. Even her own mother tells her to just do something with her own hair and get rid of the weave. She won't listen to anyone. She's too dependant on that weave and unfortunately this is how many black women are when it comes to weaves. Most don't have alopecia or other serious hair issues surrounding an illness - they just can't face their own hair. So they run to the weave like it's a cure all. But a weave is just a tool to used to enhance or protect your own hair. It's sad.
We both know a someone who wears weaves the wrong way. She actually pretends the weave hair is hers and thinks others don't notice. It looks so bad and people talk about her behind her back because it's so ridiculous and fake looking but she's one of those women that can't deal with her own hair. She plays with it and flings it like it's hers.
People just laugh at her. Even her own mother tells her to just do something with her own hair and get rid of the weave. She won't listen to anyone. She's too dependant on that weave and unfortunately this is how many black women are when it comes to weaves. Most don't have alopecia or other serious hair issues surrounding an illness - they just can't face their own hair. So they run to the weave like it's a cure all. But a weave is just a tool to used to enhance or protect your own hair. It's sad.
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