Why the STIGMA when Weave is INVOLVED?

[GodivaChocolate]

Who cares if someone wears a weave and the reason why they wear it. It's truly no ones business. If someone wants to spend their last dollar on weaves or anything else as long as it's not affecting my pockets I could care less. People spend way to much time being concerned with things that don't concern them (myself included sometimes). If someone wants to wear silky straight and they have Africa underneath more power to them, I sure they could care less what any of us think, because if they did then would chose a different look. If your hair is long they think it's a weave most of the time anyway so who cares. I refuse to spend my time worried about what others have to say about me. My main concern is my family, love ones and myself...anyone else, I'm not that concerned about.

 

[libertysince05]

I think people like to see women in their natural state. Since so many black women wear weaves as opposed to other races, it's become tiresome to some in the black community.

The stigma additionally arises from historical basis, the long lasting quest of many black women for straight, long and silky hair. The fact that 65% of black women relax their hair to achieve a straighter look, the face that some women feel that they would not be accepted if they wore their hair naturally.
When SOME people look at a black woman wearing weave, they think that she is trying to be something she is not, that she is ashamed of who she is, even though that may not be the case (she may be wearing a weave to grow out her hair), but given the historical context, the media display of BW with straight hair, and the fact that so many black women chemically alter their hair, some people may reach the conclusion that a black women wearing weave is overt display of shame.

And I think that some men just like to see a woman in their natural state. I know of some men who hate makeup, they want a woman to be as authentic as possible. Yet at the same time, I know of many who will say Beyonce or Gabrielle Union look attractive even though they weaved up to the max. My cousin is like this. We were walking around my campus, and he said disapprovingly "all these black women with weaves" but then all the women he ever dated wore weave and he is constantly checking out women with weave although he complains about not being able to touch their hair.

I think if black women wore a weave closer to their own texture, it would not be such a big stigma. And not the texture of the girls hair in that video. Erykah Badu ( wears/ wore?) an afro weave and no one made a huge stink about it, because it was so close to her texture it looked natural. When women of other races wear weaves there is less stigma b/c the weaves matches their natural texture. I think if more Black women wore afro weaves, there would not be a stigma.

my white french friend asked me why black women are always trying to be white.
i think that is one of the reasons why there is a stigma attatched to wearing weaves.
i had to spend some time explaining that relaxing, weaving or even wearing wigs (he was puzzled why i was wearing a wig instead of my usual fro) are just a range of looks, not about trying to be another race.
I do agree with the video that bad weaves also makes people dislike them; and i think there is a sort of view like 'them' and 'us' about the type of women that wear weaves versus the ones that leave their hair out.

 

[MaintaintheSexy]

Let's be honest.
IRL (in real life) most people are not wearing weave as a protective style.

It is a crutch and women are dependent on it.
It is to cover up damage.
It is because they do not care about or like their real hair whether it be relaxed or natural.
It's because they do not want to fool with, style, or have to take care of their hair. I hear this a lot.
It's because they want to get the length they think they are unable to grow.

Through observation (I'm a nosy little thing), it appears to me that most people take better care of their weave and extensions than their real hair.

I'm going to be honest, I do not like weave. It blows my mind that people who are struggling to pay bills or complain about money issues are spending hundreds of dollars on weave or extensions. Am I going to go up to someone and say that? Heck naw! That is your decision and your business but in my head and private thoughts, I'm just astounded.

In real life, most people don't know about protective styling. In real life, most people don't know about hair care. I know about both thanks to this forum and now i can say with confidence, after five years of wearing a weave and being ignorant about haircare, that weave is a protective style for me. After BC'ing in January, I now wear weaves to grow out my natural hair and protect my edges. I've been making so much progress and that's thanks to my weave. Before, I wore weaves for style and looks, not for healthy hair reasons. Now I could have remained being one of those girls with the pretty weave and the horrible hair underneath. I could have continued to perm my hair every month and glue in weaves. I could have continued not putting anything on my scalp for the sake of not messing up the weave. Instead of knocking the chicks who wear weaves, find out why they wear them to begin with and maybe you will discover a woman who once had a decent amount of hair but due to a lack of knowledge of hair care, they now wear a weave because theres no other recourse.

 

[femmemuscle]

ah... who cares...

We're as a nation, stuck in a trillion dollar deficit, unemployment is at an all time high, Obama is losing his popularity as president - at least, here in northern california (I'm concerned).... and the only thing this young 'un is strongly concerned about is what people are wearing on their heads... Not trying to learn or improve what's going on "in" our heads...

She's beautiful, but persiflagious, and annoying.

 

[lovegymnasts]

In real life, most people don't know about protective styling. In real life, most people don't know about hair care. I know about both thanks to this forum and now i can say with confidence, after five years of wearing a weave and being ignorant about haircare, that weave is a protective style for me. After BC'ing in January, I now wear weaves to grow out my natural hair and protect my edges. I've been making so much progress and that's thanks to my weave. Before, I wore weaves for style and looks, not for healthy hair reasons. Now I could have remained being one of those girls with the pretty weave and the horrible hair underneath. I could have continued to perm my hair every month and glue in weaves. I could have continued not putting anything on my scalp for the sake of not messing up the weave. Instead of knocking the chicks who wear weaves, find out why they wear them to begin with and maybe you will discover a woman who once had a decent amount of hair but due to a lack of knowledge of hair care, they now wear a weave because there's no other recourse.

I'm sorry but I did not get your point because you just agreed with what I said...
or I misunderstood what you were trying to say.
Any way, we all have opinions and viewpoints about every thing and mine is that I do not like weave. Do I go around telling people not to wear weave? No!
Yours is that you were dependent on it and now use them as a protective style.
Cool!
To each their own
Weave will not be going on my head. Others can do as they please with theirs.
Just as I do not want to control nor can control what people do with their hair; others can not control my opinions and thoughts.

Re: "they now wear a weave because there's no other recourse"
There are always options. Weave is not the only answer to unhealthy hair. It is an option but it is not the only recourse/option.
That is kind of like saying the only way to have healthy hair is to be natural or the only way to manage afro textured hair is to have a relaxer. The statements are simply not true.

 

[Chaosbutterfly]

I'm sorry but I did not get your point because you just agreed with what I said...
or I misunderstood what you were trying to say.
Any way, we all have opinions and viewpoints about every thing and mine is that I do not like weave. Do I go around telling people not to wear weave? No!
Yours is that you were dependent on it and now use them as a protective style.
Cool!
To each their own
Weave will not being going on my head. Others can do as they please with theirs.
Just as I do not want to control nor can control what people do with their hair; others can not control my opinions and thoughts.

Re: "they now wear a weave because there's no other recourse"
There are always options. Weave is not the only answer to unhealthy hair. It is an option but it is not the only recourse/option.
That is kind of like saying the only way to have healthy hair is to be natural or the only way to manage afro textured hair is to have a relaxer. The statements are simply not true.

I took "there's no other recourse" to mean that b wearing weave, that's the only way that they feel attractive and good about themselves. Not that it's the only way to fix an unhealthy head of hair. Some ladies just don't feel pretty without long hair. Maybe they used to have some nice hair, but lost it to bad styling practices. If these women don't believe in their ability to grow their hair back, and if they haven't been blessed to find LHCF yet, then yes...extensions are pretty much the only option they have.

 

[SweetSpirit86]

What got me was her saying that you should get a weave that matches your hair texture. BUT, the weave on her head doesn't match her hair texture. Although, her weave looks nice she's guilty of one of the things she was talking so hard against.

And her attitude sucked. She comes off snobby and like a know it all.

Actually, it is. When I was reading the comments, she posted a link to what her hair looked like before. She also said a lot of her family members have naturally straight hair. Even so, what she was saying wasn't so much, "it MUST match your hair as it grows from your scalp!" as, "at least have a texture that looks like it suits you." We've all seen it..some textures just don't look right on some people. There are plenty of black women who look good with wet and wavy, and others may look a HAM with it.

 

[Tiye]

Who cares if someone wears a weave and the reason why they wear it. It's truly no ones business. If someone wants to spend their last dollar on weaves or anything else as long as it's not affecting my pockets I could care less. People spend way to much time being concerned with things that don't concern them (myself included sometimes). If someone wants to wear silky straight and they have Africa underneath more power to them, I sure they could care less what any of us think, because if they did then would chose a different look. If your hair is long they think it's a weave most of the time anyway so who cares. I refuse to spend my time worried about what others have to say about me. My main concern is my family, love ones and myself...anyone else, I'm not that concerned about.

Thank you. And honestly people should wear the hairstyles they like. What difference does it make if they have Africa underneath. Africa is where all the other textures come from for what it's worth.

my white french friend asked me why black women are always trying to be white.
i think that is one of the reasons why there is a stigma attatched to wearing weaves.
i had to spend some time explaining that relaxing, weaving or even wearing wigs (he was puzzled why i was wearing a wig instead of my usual fro) are just a range of looks, not about trying to be another race.
I do agree with the video that bad weaves also makes people dislike them; and i think there is a sort of view like 'them' and 'us' about the type of women that wear weaves versus the ones that leave their hair out.

Not to disrespect your friend but he shouldn't presume to know why a black woman wears wigs or extensions. Most black women aren't trying to be white they just like different looks.

Choosing to wear your hair in virgin natural state is not an obligation.

In real life, most people don't know about protective styling. In real life, most people don't know about hair care. I know about both thanks to this forum and now i can say with confidence, after five years of wearing a weave and being ignorant about haircare, that weave is a protective style for me. After BC'ing in January, I now wear weaves to grow out my natural hair and protect my edges. I've been making so much progress and that's thanks to my weave. Before, I wore weaves for style and looks, not for healthy hair reasons. Now I could have remained being one of those girls with the pretty weave and the horrible hair underneath. I could have continued to perm my hair every month and glue in weaves. I could have continued not putting anything on my scalp for the sake of not messing up the weave. Instead of knocking the chicks who wear weaves, find out why they wear them to begin with and maybe you will discover a woman who once had a decent amount of hair but due to a lack of knowledge of hair care, they now wear a weave because theres no other recourse.

Protective styling didn't begin with the internet. It's as old as human history. This board began with people researching old fashioned techniques. Trying to figure out why people had such long hair back in the day and how to get that back. Some people are gonna do what they want to do with their hair and not care about the consequences. I know people who would rather relax or bleach continually coz they like a certain look that they're happy with so they're not concerned with chasing long hair.

ah... who cares...

We're as a nation, stuck in a trillion dollar deficit, unemployment is at an all time high, Obama is losing his popularity as president - at least, here in northern california (I'm concerned).... and the only thing this young 'un is strongly concerned about is what people are wearing on their heads... Not trying to learn or improve what's going on "in" our heads...

She's beautiful, but persiflagious, and annoying.

ITA - people really do need to learn to mind their business and worry about their own heads - what's on it, what's in it. Even parents know they only have about a dozen years where they have complete control over what their children do with their hair. So what's up with worrying about what other grown folk do with their hair and sometimes you don't even know them. smh.

 

[knt1229]

Actually, it is. When I was reading the comments, she posted a link to what her hair looked like before. She also said a lot of her family members have naturally straight hair. Even so, what she was saying wasn't so much, "it MUST match your hair as it grows from your scalp!" as, "at least have a texture that looks like it suits you." We've all seen it..some textures just don't look right on some people. There are plenty of black women who look good with wet and wavy, and others may look a HAM with it.

Well unless I can see for myself I will stick with my orginal opinion that her hair is not like the hair of Indian ladies. Even Chili from TLC doesn't have straight hair. So I'm going with my own opinion that her weave is not her hair texture. And who is she or you to say what texture looks good on who? I looked at her and knew immediately that A) it was weave and B) that it wasn't the hair texture she was born with regardless of what you or she says. Again I would have to see it growing out of her scalp to believe otherwise. So that proves that what looks appropiate and what doesn't is in the eye of the beholder.

Sorry if I come off as unwilling to believe you or her but when I hear folk like her speak with that type of attitude she displayed I just can't take them at face value because to me they wreak of fakeness.

 

[StopMakingSense]

She was annoying but her weave looked fresh.

My only gripe with weaves is when a woman will work so hard on a weave because she has some sort of disdain for what is underneath. I don't like the 'my hair won't grow' attitude when it is clear that your 2 - 4 inches of hair as been ravaged by over processing and getting the track and glue off of your head multiple times. You don't give your hair a chance. If you give up on your hair and give yourself to weave ins without the proper methods to preserve your hair so that it looks reasonable to you when you take your tracks out that is your fault and you should own it. With hair it isn't fashion over function; I don't believe that approach to be harmonious. I would keep it 100 with you if this is how you were--it's not my place to speak on what you are doing and I don't care that much......

But you should strive for healthy hair even if you want to weave over it. That is all. Wear weave all you want--but be kind to your hair in the process.

 

[Bluetopia]

Well unless I can see for myself I will stick with my orginal opinion that her hair is not like the hair of Indian ladies. Even Chili from TLC doesn't have straight hair. So I'm going with my own opinion that her weave is not her hair texture. And who is she or you to say what texture looks good on who? I looked at her and knew immediately that A) it was weave and B) that it wasn't the hair texture she was born with regardless of what you or she says. Again I would have to see it growing out of her scalp to believe otherwise. So that proves that what looks appropiate and what doesn't is in the eye of the beholder.

Sorry if I come off as unwilling to believe you or her but when I hear folk like her speak with that type of attitude she displayed I just can't take them at face value because to me they wreak of fakeness.

According to her FB this is her natural texture:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Lydia...170&id=72605223779&ref=album&fbid=98806313779

 

[knt1229]

According to her FB this is her natural texture:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Lydia...170&id=72605223779&ref=album&fbid=98806313779

Like I have stated I don't believe it. And nor do I care. She nor anybody else should be telling somebody what does and doesn't look good. Or what is or is not appropiate texture for someone else.

And for anybody else who wants to tell me it's her hair texture. I don't care nor do I believe it. Let me say it again I don't believe it. I didn't click on the link because as I have said before I don't believe her or her pics or whatever proof she's supposedly has. I need to see that in real life. Not a pic. So don't try to convince me cause it ain't happenin.

It's cool for others to believe it. I just don't. I can state my opinion and I don't have to click on links or go back and forth because I don't believe what others do. **shrug**

 

[luvn_life]

According to her FB this is her natural texture:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Lydia-Cotton/72605223779#!/photo.php?pid=2066170&id=72605223779&ref=album&fbid=98806313779

No I think this is... http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?p...74&id=72605223779&ref=album&fbid=121674638779

and it is GORGEOUS by the way!!! But, even though I didn't like her tone she made a lot of valid points.

 

[lovelexi]

Her weave is beautiful and I normally don't say that. But I understand thats her character but I just dont understand why people are so concerned about other people. We know we all see people and wonder WTH??? on a daily basis. But Im sure there are days when people look at me and wonder whats going on with me especially when I stretch my relaxers

 

[nappystorm]

She's annoying

 

[Kneechay]

She's annoying

yes, she is.

She's from Houston and i've seen her and she is even more annoying in person. Her videos are annoying and I block them (and folks associated with them) when they pop up on my news feed. She has deemed herself an expert on everything and she offers her 2 cents when not requested. The way she comes off in conversation is as though she assumes that you're not as smart as she is.

She is looking for internet fame through these pointless videos.

 

[Tiye]

Just watched the video. The po' little thing is either brainwashed by her stylist ... or it's a skit they came up with to sell hair and installs. People will say anything to sell hair these days (or rather they all use the same buzz words). smh

 

[YasashiiSekai]

Um...I still don't understand why someone else's hair is anyone's business.

It's not like another person's bad weave is gonna make her look like crap.

Maybe it's just me, but I think it's just funny how someone could make a whole video telling other people how to wear their fake hair.

...btw: who is she?

 

[LadyRaider]

LOL. No comment on weaves, but why do a whole video about hair while having the top of your head cut off?

 

[Miss_C]

She's annoying yes (her fb album annoyed me more than her vid-- she made some comment about being the 'queen of long hair'), but her hair texture looks like it is somewhere in the 3a/b range (I'm no expert though) and when that texture straightened, that's how it looks. The weave matches her straightened texture. What is not to believe?

 

[SweetSpirit86]

Well unless I can see for myself I will stick with my orginal opinion that her hair is not like the hair of Indian ladies. Even Chili from TLC doesn't have straight hair. So I'm going with my own opinion that her weave is not her hair texture. And who is she or you to say what texture looks good on who? I looked at her and knew immediately that A) it was weave and B) that it wasn't the hair texture she was born with regardless of what you or she says. Again I would have to see it growing out of her scalp to believe otherwise. So that proves that what looks appropiate and what doesn't is in the eye of the beholder.

Sorry if I come off as unwilling to believe you or her but when I hear folk like her speak with that type of attitude she displayed I just can't take them at face value because to me they wreak of fakeness.

No need to apologize, you're stating your opinion just as she and I are. It's in that myriad of comments down there, so I'm not going to dig it out just to show you, lol. Just thought I'd let you know. I'm not telling anyone what looks good on them, it's simply my opinion, and I'm entitled to it so you can take it as you please. It's no different than someone else looking at blonde on someone and shaking their head, or you looking at someone's outfit and thinking it doesn't suit them. People are going to think what they want, as long as someone doesn't overstep their bounds by walking up and saying it, I don't care. Just because it's a hair texture doesn't make it special. I'm not defending her, don't know the girl, just when I saw what you said, felt I should tell you because I saw the video of her hair before she cut it off and put the weave in. I don't particularly care about her attitude because, well, like I said..I don't know her and don't have to deal with her irl, lol.

*EDIT* Just saw someone else probably dug it out and posted it (didn't click it to check).

 

[yaya24]

I am looking forward to my December install

 

[I Am So Blessed]

Um, am I the only one who made it all the way through the video? She just said she didn't like bad, cheap looking weaves, and the fact that they looked cheap created the stigma. NOT that weaves were bad. Bad looking weaves are bad. Uhhh, haven't those EXACT sentiments been expressed on this board like a million and one times?[/QUOTE]

Answer: yesss!!

So all I want to know is.....why so serious ladies?