Why Must I cry: Hair Related Vent

[AnjelLuvs]

I am sooo mad at myself as I sit here 12 weeks post... I know that is small change but I really was intending on transitioning....

now it seems like everywhere I go I see lovely long straight hair... Also natural, but I don't know if I am in love with natural hair, then I see women on Youtube with natural hair that straighten, but doesn't that defeat purpose, well IMHO...

Just venting... I want to experience natural, but it feels like I do not have the balls for it... I like to be able to do my hair in under 30 mins (wash, cond)

I have naturally thin hair so I feel that natural hair would be a good look as my hair would be fuller, not flat like after getting a fresh perm...

any words of advice/suggestions?

 

[Keen]

I know how you feel. I love seeing everyone natural but when it comes to me, I don't have the balls. I have one sister who is natural. Another one has been transitioning for 18 months. But she just told me that she does not intend on staying natural. She has never wore her hair natural. She is planning to perm in a couple of years.

I like wearing my hair straight. I just feel there's no point in going natural if I'm always going to wear a straight lacefront or sew-in. But then my sister called me out and said "don't you do that already?". I do but I do wear my hair out a lot more now. It's all confusing so I choose not to take the plunge.

 

[Evolving78]

i was natural, but decided to go back to the relaxer. i missed the ease of having relaxed hair. i kinda just relaxed on a spur of the moment, but it has been so much easier to care for my relaxed hair and look good.

 

[yorkpatties]

I'm sure all of us have struggled. I struggled for a long while before I decided I wanted to go natural. I would walk around NYC and see girls with these beautiful, creative, natural styles and I'd think, "That looks cool. Hey, my hair can do that too." So a stretch turned into transitioning which turned into a BC. I don't see too many black women with straight hair these days that makes me say, "I want my hair to look like that!" I do feel that way with natural hair. Tastes change, and that's what I am into right now. If you're not feeling it, then you might as well get that touch-up. LOL. It's not a trend, it's a calling. I say that facetiously, but it's kinda true.

 

[bigbrowneyez]

I don't think it's about having the balls or courage to be natural. It's a personal choice. I was natural til 18 and now I'm relaxed. There are times I think about going natural but at the same time I'm happy being relaxed. It's more convenient, time efficient, ability to wear straight hair without much effect etc. I appreciate both styles. It's whatever woks for u and ur lifestyle. Don't get discouraged because one fits more. That may very well change in the future. One is no better than the other. It's how u manage and maintain your hair. It's a personal choice that you have to make

 

[prettypithy]

Honestly, if you don't think you can stomach the transition, your options are to chop or relax. Personally, I wore braids for my entire transition, more or less so I didn't sweat it. If long, straight hair is your ne plus ultra, maybe it makes more sense to relax.

For me, long straight hair is great but BIG hair is my ne plus ultra (highest height, apex, best, whatever). I want length with volume to match so I know I can't relax -- my hair is too fine, it goes flat. So, being natural is in line with my goals. When I do straighten, it has never looked better.

But most of the time, I'm in updo's and that has taken some time to get used to. I still prefer to wear my hair straight and down but wearing it up and natural is the price I pay for healthy hair that is both long and full when straight.

Good luck, OP!

 

[AnjelLuvs]

you guys are right... I love the effortless styling of being relaxed... But like anotherr poster stated just seeing all the lovely styles and the such I am like whoa I can get my hair like that too...

i was gonna do a BC, because I cant do the two textures, but I am at middle back, well almost and that was goal, if I perm I may be there already...

I often ask self, am I doing it because others are...i need to find my inner voice... Lol..

 

[Natty_Virgo]

You can still probably do your hair in 30 mins with natural hair right? I am really not sure since I am new to natural and don't have long natural hair yet. Don't be upset though, do what you want to do. Will getting a natural sew in that resembles your hair texture help with your decision? You can play around with it and see if that is what you really want.

 

[AnjelLuvs]

@prettypithy, that's exactly why i wanted to go natural... bigger hair... I usually always set with small curls to get more body to hair... it is like uber lifeless... ahhh the decisions...

I may just texlax at home if anything, because my beautician ALWAYS wants to perm/textlax to bone straight... I am like no take out, her reply is always I see you don't want your hair too straight.. I am thinking I just want to losen curl a lil.. if I wanted bone straight I would go with a perm...


ETA: I do NOT like braids or weaves... I don't like things that would weight down... or anything additional on head... erplexed

 

[Meemee6223]

I know exactly how u feel OP. I'm 22 weeks post. It started as a stretch but when I joined this forum and saw soooo many beautiful natural heads of hair I wanted to see how my own curls look. Now... I'm scared of my two textures! Lol! I hate washing it! I've been relaxed so long that I don't know what to do with anything else. But I'm gonna hang in there a little longer and try to stay away from the creamy crack! I wish I could give u advice but I'm in the same boat as u. Just know you're not alone. I hope things work out for you and your hair!

Sent from my T-Mobile G2

 

[prettypithy]

Going natural is a long term project. I promised myself I'd give it a year. It has been 11 months and I am still figuring things out. But I feel I look good on most days now, a far cry from about six months ago when it was really hit and miss. If it is really something you want to explore, give it time (at least a year). If that seems impossible then it probably won't work out.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

Been there, done that. It took me 2 years (104 full weeks) to become 100% natural. I did not intend to become natural at first, it was just a long term stretch. 18 weeks & 3 days was my longest relaxer stretch prior to becoming natural.

Transitioning to natural is a personal decision. I have fine hair (I think you mean fine hair, not thin) and I probably never should have started relaxing. My hair straightens pretty easily too, or so I'm learning now. My preference now is big curly hair, although for many years I wore straight/relaxed and later started to wear wavy/texlaxed hair. I have not relaxed bone straight since like 2004 and my last mild relaxer aka texlax was in December 2007. I find that my natural hair, although fine, looks big and full when wearing natural styles.

By the way, you can wash & style natural hair in 30 minutes or less. I can cowash (conditioner wash) and bun in under 15 minutes using a phony bun that I cover with my own hair.

 

[blackpearl81]

I recently decided to transition to natural and I'm also having the same feelings but I'm learning to manage my natural hair, which is new if you've always been relaxed. Don't worry, it should get easier. Just do major research to find the best products..good luck girl! =)

 

[JudithO]

It all depends on your goals...

If you want to see your hair grow to it's maximum possible length, spend less money on hair, spend more time on hair.. if you open to seeing what your looks like curly, excited about puffs, wash n go's, figuring out what your hair likes/doesn't like... Then you have higher probability of achieving those things while natural. I used the word probability, because if you don't know how to care for natural hair properly, it will turn out to be jacked up.. just like jacked up relaxed hair.. lol.. A lot of my natural hair is pretty messed up from bad techniques (like 4 inches) - plan to cut the 4 inches off after I hit MBL. See.. even tho I've been natural almost 4 yrs, I'm "transitioning".. just like you.

If you want straight styles 99% of the time, want to spend less time and maybe effort on your hair, pamper your hair more, are afraid of change (not a bad thing), and don't mind spending the extra cash then go relax your hair.

I feel like relaxed hair regimens are much more complex, because the hair needs to be more "pampered" than natural hair.. With natural hair, once you figure it out, you are on the roll. A moisturizing shampoo, condish, and a few oils are all you need (your techniques need to be solid tho)

At the end of the day being relaxed/natural is simply a preference and you shouldn't think about it that much. Thank God that hair keeps growing.. you can always switch back n forth if you change your mind. Good luck.

 

[southerncitygirl]

if you went natural your hair would look fuller. thinner hair that is curly, wavy or more textured has the illusion of being thicker. snip, snip, missy.....come on to the naptural side. we would love to have ya!

all jokes aside, do you think you have mastered caring for your hair while relaxed? everyone is different, so folks have a learning curve with caring for natural hair while others are low maintenance. straightening on occasion as a natural is not a bad thing, i think i understand what you mean about naturals having straightened hair all the time, imo i think it defeats the purpose but who am i to judge? every head of hair is different and for some the straightening helps with ssks. the only to know what your hair will be is to cut and be patient with it....you could always wig or braid it up till it got longer.

 

[AnjelLuvs]

naturalmanenyc, Lol you can tell I hardly come to this side.... Definitely not thin but fine... thin I would have been BC, Lol...

It doesn't help that I am impatient...

 

[naturalmanenyc]

Just washed, oiled, moisturized and bunned my natural hair in 24 minutes. My last post was at 5:36 pm and I was done with my hair by 6 pm. I jumped in the shower, washed my hair (mud & clay shampoo bar) and then added my sulfur oil mix to my scalp, moisturized with my leave in and bunned my hair with my donut bun (covered in curly weave hair).

It can be done!

ETA photo: wet bun done in 24 minutes

 

[Ann0804]

I'm a natural who flat irons. My opinion on this issue is that relaxers are chemicals (very harsh chemicals imo), a flat iron does not use a chemical to straighten- only heat. Also, I like my hair fuller as well. When I was relaxed my hair was limp, and thin, now that I am natural, I love how full and big my hair is. Once it is at least shoulder length, and I can do a nice length ponytail, I do not plan on continuing with flat ironing it. Also, when I was relaxed I had a lot of breakage on my edges, and just overall, since becoming natural I don't have the breakage issue anymore. I just have a frizz issue. lol

 

[BlkOnyx488]

It took me 7 months after I went natural to have the courage to where my hair out without a wig. What I discovered was I had a lot of supporters I didn't know I had, and I slowly became comfortable with it. now being natural doesn't mean I don't have the right to straighten my hair whenever i want, that's a personal choice.
I do enjoy the versatility from being able to go from curly to straight to curly again.
if you find you perfer the relaxed look, that is ok to!

 

[jerseygurl]

For me, going natural was a personal decision cos I was fed up with relaxers. I transitioned for 18 months and during that time never once did I think about relaxers. I love my puff and I'm still trying to learn what works for my hair.

If you want to wear your hair straight all the time, then just stay relaxed and don't worry about anything and anyone. You can always go natural for a while and relax if you feel it's not for you.

Whatever your decision, happy hair growing

 

[silenttullip]

do not go natural, you aren't ready. Some of us naturals are still learning to love it and thinking thin hair will look thicker as a natural isn't a good idea.
As for 30 min wash day some of us are there but for many we started with 3-5hr wash days
being natural is great but in my honest opinion you're expectations need to vanish and just let it flow

 

[pre_medicalrulz]

I love the natural look. You can rock curls AND the straight look HOWEVER if I cry doing my own relaxed hair because of the thickness & fullness. Imagine me going natural, it would be 10 times the thickness & fullness. Nope. I would jump off a cliff. Hair shouldnt be a hassle. Do what's best for you.

Sent from a land where women rule.....