Why men keep ex s around when they have a new gf ?pxcxxdadd

[Kindheart]

Why men keep ex s around when they have a new gf ?

So this guy is with a girl ,claims to be happy and in love with her even to the point of calling her the One . A few months before he got with her he was "hanging out" with an attractive girl at his house for about a year ,she caught feelings ,he did aswell but decided he didn't want to pursue the relationship.Kept her at a distance although he asked about her to mutual friends and texted her occasionally.
They broke off their fling and he asked her to remain friends . He s now in this happy relationship but still occasionally text the fling even paying compliments to her , asked her if she s dating anyone . why men do this if they re happy ?why keep in touch with an "ex"

 

[Lucie]

Basically a safety net and a boost to his ego.

 

[Kindheart]

Basically a safety net and a boost to his ego.

But if he's in love with his gf shouldnt she be enough for him?

 

[SlimPickinz]

Women do this more than men IMO. Men just get caught doing it

 

[Mortons]

But if he's in love with his gf shouldnt she be enough for him?

Enough what exactly?

 

[TwistedRoots]

I thinks that stems from a lack of respect... I will say that I think some people can be friends after relationships however if the context of the conversations can be deemed inappropriate by ones SO then it should be ceased at all cost. Unfortunately people have to do it themselves they can't be forced to and generally if they don't see anything wrong with what they are doing or if they can keep it under wraps then they will probably continue. Again it's a respect issue.

 

[BonBon]

Keeping fingers in different pies and general flirtation is just a way of life to some men.

Whether they are happy, or not doesn't always dictate that type of behaviour.

 

[Kindheart]

Enough what exactly?

Enough of an ego boost . Personally,when I m in love I don't want to talk to any of my ex s cuz I get all the ego boost , affection and admiration from my partner .

Keeping fingers in different pies and general flirtation is just a way of life to some men.

Whether they are happy, or not doesn't always dictate that type of behaviour.

I think that "way of life " gives them some type of ego boost ,there s always a reason behind people s actions imo

 

[hopeful]

I used to wonder why if men wanted to play the field why pretend they wanted to settle down? Like why not just be a player or a perennial bachelor. But I realized that while some men do want either/or, a committed relationship or to play the field. Some men want both and think they deserve both. They enjoy the perks of a dependable, loving gf or wife, and the thrill of multiple girlfriends.

 

[Fine 4s]

I'm just glad my guy isn't like this as far as I can see except for one ex at a distance.
He side eyes me on every ex I keep in touch with. After my experience in my last relationship, this is refreshing. Now I'm in the hot seat.

 

[Mortons]

Fall back men and women are a way of life. I assume as a general rule anyone I am dating will have them. Until I am secure in a relationships path I keep fall backs. Maybe even after that. Not saying it's right, saying its true.

 

[MuziqizLyfe]

Fall back men and women are a way of life. I assume as a general rule anyone I am dating will have them. Until I am secure in a relationships path I keep fall backs. Maybe even after that. Not saying it's right, saying its true.

Unless the couple is married, I would also expect these people on both sides to be out in the periphery somewhere. In the case of the OP, I wouldn't doubt the person's love or whether I was enough ..it just means some boundaries need to be set in that relationship.

 

[CaraWalker]

i dont do this in relationships. i may not always tell them not to contact me anymore but i certainly dont encourage it. i mainly just ignore texts i would have answered before.

i wouldnt be happy if i was dating someone that was keeping a girl on the back burner. this wouldnt be acceptable in my relationships. i understand why its done but i dont care. im not ok with it.

 

[PretteePlease]

People like to keep x's around because the hell you know might be better than new hell.

 

[BK Bombshell]

I agree with Lucie: it's an ego boost for some men to know they have someone pining over them. Married, single, I've seen it across the board. FB and other social media seems to have made them bolder too.

I'm a firm believer in keeping your options open while you're dating, but if you're in a relationship, it's definitely sketchy behavior.

 

[Lymegreen]

I also agree with Lucie. Ego Boost and safety net.

And one would be wise in discerning that this guy is not ready to fully commit in a relationship. REGARDLESS of what he agreed to. He's not ready for a committed relationship yet.

 

[tatiana]

Need more info.

Some men put women into boxes. Some women are more "Socially acceptable" than others to a man. This does not mean the woman is bad. Weight, religion, educational level, age, and etc. is use to judge a woman's "social acceptance" level. Women do it too, so it is not a man thing.

So a man will date or marry the more "socially acceptable" woman but will be "friends" with the less "socially acceptable" woman.

Some women look like "the girl next door", other women look like "vixen".

Are these two women the same? Or is there something different about them?

 

[Leesh]

To put it simple...

They want their cake and eat it too. Thats all.

They LOVE the old, but are thrilled with the new and unknown.

 

[God_Favor]

A "just in case" a plan b

 

[Kindheart]

Need more info.

Some men put women into boxes. Some women are more "Socially acceptable" than others to a man. This does not mean the woman is bad. Weight, religion, educational level, age, and etc. is use to judge a woman's "social acceptance" level. Women do it too, so it is not a man thing.

So a man will date or marry the more "socially acceptable" woman but will be "friends" with the less "socially acceptable" woman.

Some women look like "the girl next door", other women look like "vixen".

Are these two women the same? Or is there something different about them?

tatiana
This is Interesting ,the gf is 9 years younger than him and very plain/innocent looking ,average . The ex is the vixen ,sexy and attractive his same age .

 

[FemmeFatale]

Basically a warm and waiting body..how insulting.

 

[Naveah2050]

tatiana This is Interesting ,the gf is 9 years younger than him and very plain/innocent looking ,average . The ex is the vixen ,sexy and attractive his same age .

I see this all the time. Many men settle down with the simple plain no hassle chick but still hanker after their wild exes

 

[tatiana]

Kindheart

I figured it was something was different about the two women. He is a selfish male because he can not be honest with himself. Those type of men confuse love with need.

He may marry the younger woman and have children with her but the chances are he will cheat on her with "vixen" or with someone else like her. When he gets bored with his wife, he will dump her and get someone else.

 

[laCriolla]

Question: my ex and I don't speak. He has a new girlfriend. I never was introduced to his mom. Yesterday his mom sends me a friend request on Facebook. I have not accepted it because i never met her. Thoughts ?

 

[Godsdaughter001]

Question: my ex and I don't speak. He has a new girlfriend. I never was introduced to his mom. Yesterday his mom sends me a friend request on Facebook. I have not accepted it because i never met her. Thoughts ?

laCriolla, Are you friends with your ex on FB? Is it possible that maybe his mom just "friended" all her sons FB friends?

Do you ever see yourself getting back with your ex?

 

[laCriolla]

laCriolla, Are you friends with your ex on FB? Is it possible that maybe his mom just "friended" all her sons FB friends?

Do you ever see yourself getting back with your ex?

He and I are not friends on Facebook.

I'm not sure about if I would agree to get back together.

 

[RocStar]

But if he's in love with his gf shouldnt she be enough for him?

what's love got to do with it

 

[TeddyBear]

IMO.. He has been doing that behavior for years, regardless if he is exclusive or not, he's going to be checking on and checking out other women.
His behavior isn't going to change because that's a part of his personality.
Some men will do this and some will not, vice versa with women.

 

[Godsdaughter001]

He and I are not friends on Facebook.

I'm not sure about if I would agree to get back together.

@laCriolla Ok. In light of your answers, yes, that is very strange that his mom would friend you on Facebook. Very strange. I'm at a loss of words or explanation.

Are you going to bite and friend her back? If not, you can always block her, if you want nothing more to do with your ex.

 

[hopeful]

Question: my ex and I don't speak. He has a new girlfriend. I never was introduced to his mom. Yesterday his mom sends me a friend request on Facebook. I have not accepted it because i never met her. Thoughts ?

Based on your additional comments I would not accept her friend request. I would just ignore it. She could have at least sent you a message or something. If he's an ex, you guys don't speak, he's in a new relationship, and you never met the mom, I don't see the point. Right now it seems like a mistake, her being nosy, or him being sneaky. KIM.