What does 'Marriage mean to you'?
Everything I know about marriage I learned from my mom and dad. When I was growing up I saw the good and the bad parts of marriage. I saw how it could make you glow and how it could cause a pain deeper than anyone could ever know. But, I still wanted it. Marriage means having a person who is in your corner no matter what. Marriage to me is coming home to a house that is full of life and love. Marriage to me is going to bed at the end of a long, hard day looking over at your spouse and knowing that even if the next day isn’t better it’s ok because better days will come. Marriage to me is loving a person so much that you would rather have 100 miserable days with that person than 100 happy days with someone else. Marriage to me is knowing with your whole heart that you are with the person God intended for you to be with and there is no one else. Marriage to me means sacrifice and humility.
What length will you go to preserve it?
Whatever God would have me to do to preserve my marriage is what I will do. I have been married for nearly 10 years and to preserve my marriage I have had to be humble. I have had to keep my mouth shut when I knew I was right and he was wrong. To preserve my marriage I have had to smile in the faces of people who despise what I stand for (I don’t say they despise me because I don’t think it is really me that they don’t like). I hesitate to be so candid on this forum, but I feel like this may help someone. I have tears in my eyes as I type this. Years ago I began to wonder if I had made a mistake. My husband wasn’t cheating on me or abusing me in any way, shape or form, but there were other things going on. I felt like I was being taken advantage of. I felt like he was putting himself first and me last. I remember driving to work one morning with tears streaming down my face because I was so hurt. God spoke to a couple days later and told me that I did not make a mistake. He told me that He had ordained my marriage before my husband and I were even born. He then gave me instructions on what I needed to do. I needed to be humble. I needed to keep my mouth shut even when I knew my husband was wrong. My prayer partner even had a vision of me putting my hand over my mouth. LOL. God told me that things would not always be that way and several months ago I thought to myself, “My have things changed over the years.” My marriage has never been a bad marriage, but we have had our ups and downs just like anyone else and we have had some growing to do over the years. Lately, there have been issues coming up from other family members. They try to cause problems. Again, I wondered if I had made a mistake. Why would God join me with someone whose family seems to dislike me so much? I was sitting in church two Sundays ago and during the sermon the pastor said, “You did not make a mistake.” To preserve my marriage I have had to sacrifice. I forgive even when I don’t feel like it. I let go of hurtful comments and actions and I accept apologies when the pain is still very fresh. To preserve my marriage I've had to have faith. Faith to believe that past offenses will not be repeated. Faith to believe God when He tells me I did not make a mistake.
How do you 'define' marriage? Is it emotional or contractual?
It’s both. It’s a contract. God came up with the contract. My husband and I signed it and He was the witness. It can be emotional, but I don’t allow my marriage to ride on the waves of emotions. Emotions can be unstable, but we need them. Emotionally, I love my husband. Like, I really, really love this man. He still makes my heart smile. But some days… Those are the days when I remember the contract he and I signed as God as our witness.
thanks for that useful and powerful post.
It's beautiful, just like you. And I wish you the most beautiful marriage.. 
