Does the Black Church Keep Black Women Single? (Please Share Your Heart on This)

[sidney]

This is good Sidney and I agree that most Churches encourage marriage.

As for the women trying to 'hook you up' with their son, nephew, etc.....

Wow! What a compliment for how well they think of you. :Rose: They love you enough to embrace you as a part of them; to bring more of you into their lives with their son (or nephew) and the children who will share the same bloodline. They know good when they see it and they see the good in you. :Rose:

Cause if they were anything like me, no woman was ever good enough for my son. I was always chasing them away... Well, I was... for a 'minute'. I wore Galatians 4:30 out. It always worked too.

Blessings Sweet Sidney...

LOL, I love the bolded Shimmie! I would probably be the same way. I'm not sure, ...I think they just might like playing matchmaker...i don't know. You know how women in the church can be.


"Are you married yet?"

"No, not yet"

"Well you should come over for dinner, oh and so and so will home."


Oh and then there's the awkward instances when they actually call some guy over and I'm just standing there like umn.....

 

[Shimmie]

Thank you Shimmie

My contribution is this: Yes I strongly desire marriage. To have it as a ministry. To love . However as G-d has been working on me I realize I need to go of a worldly view of relationships. Do I feel Ill find My Mr Godly Chocolate in church? Only God knows. Outside? Only God knows. I'm open, but I do have standards. Many people say they have a hard timing finding men in church. But what if people are bringing ALLL the wrong men? I admit I dream of him often so I wonder WHEN. Forgive me if I veered wayyy off

You're sharing a wonderful message. Always remember this, we will always be striving for 'perfection' and in so doing, God will bring your 'Boaz' as He did Ruth. Her husband came as she was doing what God called her to do; being herself.

Ready or not; perfect or not, Always Precious are you. :Rose:

 

[HeChangedMyName]

Thank you Shimmie

My contribution is this: Yes I strongly desire marriage. To have it as a ministry. To love . However as G-d has been working on me I realize I need to go of a worldly view of relationships. Do I feel Ill find My Mr Godly Chocolate in church? Only God knows. Outside? Only God knows. I'm open, but I do have standards. Many people say they have a hard timing finding men in church. But what if people are bringing ALLL the wrong men? I admit I dream of him often so I wonder WHEN. Forgive me if I veered wayyy off

at the bolded. is there a shout icon? That's what I'm talking about, marriage as a ministry to demonstrate the relationship between God and his people. uhm uhm uhm. and that wordly view of relationships is something aweful. and standards. . . .yess, old time church folk will having you believing that you marry the first man on his knees with a ring. nahhh playa.

I may be wrong in my assumption but I don't believe the church is holding anyone back.I think to a degree there isn't any encouragement however the church isn't changing therefore men will not be there..when I say men those who are firm in the word and that aren't whores or gays.

Black women are holding ourselves back by not stepping out and going forward.I'm speaking about me in this instance that at times we use God as a hindrance.When your really in God your not scared of stepping out boldly in places you know men of God will be.For if I can ever lose weight,get a good job and get my persona to be more likable I would start going out to places men will be and ask the hard questions.

The church is a building to me since the body of Christ has lost it's power.So many go to church and are going through the motions.Now there are some churches that pimp the young saved and holy and make them give all their time and money to the church so it can grow.Without the black woman in the church there would be no church.We pay the bills while the over glorified pastors get the glory from them. rant over..

on the first bold. Yessss. Tell the truth and shame the devil. So many men in the church are not the Godly men they were created to be.

On the second. Be encouraged. There is NO fear in God. Don't put off happiness until after you lose weight, get a good job, etc. Go out now, you may meet a workout buddy. or meet a single job headhunter while on your job search.. God knows when you are ready and so long as you keep talking yourself out of it. . . .you're not ready. Get ready my sister. get ready.

 

[HeChangedMyName]

That is why God is so great. He knows all things.

I agree with your post. With everything we do there must be a balance. I like the idea of meeting someone when you are out and handling your life. It just shows that great Christian guys (or people) can be anywhere.

yes, anywhere. I'm not saying one shouldn't be at church often, BUT if you spend all your time physically in the church and not because you have a full time job there then. . . . .what Good are you to the world? We are to be a light unto the world. . . .not unto ourselves.




BTW: Ruth was working when God placed her in Boaz's eyesight. And Boaz was working too.
THEY WERE NOT IN THE TEMPLE/CHURCH/CAMPMEETING/ETC lol

 

[sidney]

Great discussion and Sidney. . . .honey, I was praying for someone to WANT to hook me up with somebody. LOLLLLLL I guess the desperation seeped through my well groomed look. I had to fallll wayyyy back. And get it together. I was severely desperate for a boo at one point. I mean it pained me sometimes to not be married. And that is when God told me that I couldn't get married until I could handle being a wife to a man AND being his wife too.

talk about my heart dropped, the tears fell and I threw a serious hissy fit. But God knew best. If I had gotten married any time in the past. . .ain't no telling where I'd be now. It wouldn't be good.

I know what you mean HCMN, I have eyes, I can see . There are some fine men in the church. But if I am not able to view your character over an extended period of time, I'm not going to go out with you. The good thing about church hook ups though is that the other's involved may know the guy's character and can give you more insight on the person. Which is why I think church involvement can be a good thing.

 

[Shimmie]

LOL, I love the bolded Shimmie! I would probably be the same way. I'm not sure, ...I think they just might like playing matchmaker...i don't know. You know how women in the church can be.


"Are you married yet?"

"No, not yet"

"Well you should come over for dinner, oh and so and so will home."


Oh and then there's the awkward instances when they actually call some guy over and I'm just standing there like umn.....

Girl, you gonna get me in trouble with Jesus with my bold statement. But it's the TRUTH. I was tired of all the girls he was bringing to my house for me to meet.

Anyhoo.....

Sidney I can see it all too clear how you have been literally 'bombarded' by women seeking to match you up with their son (or friend or family member). I used to run, because I thought sumpin' was wrong with him. I mean, Golly Geepers, why can't he speak for himself? . Was he missing any 'parts' unknown.

I'm getting a little too playful here.... :blush3: Pray for me.

But Sid, I'm being real, I used to run. , cause I thought he was unable to get a girl on his own. However, I'm sensible NOW enough to realize that it's not always the case. Except for this one guy, right? Well he just wasn't the one. And that's ALL I'm sayin'. I mean, I'm just sayin'.

I think I'll quit while I'm ahead. However, my compliment to you still stands and it stands upon the Rock... our Jesus. These women do see the 'good' in you, they really do. :Rose:

 

[luthiengirlie]

You're sharing a wonderful message. Always remember this, we will always be striving for 'perfection' and in so doing, God will bring your 'Boaz' as He did Ruth. Her husband came as she was doing what God called her to do; being herself.

Ready or not; perfect or not, Always Precious are you. :Rose:

ABSOLUTLY POWERFUL! BEING MYSELF BEING A CHILD OF YHWH being a person who is choosing to grow.

Im always telling a friend
that BEING ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS is attractive like CHEESECAKE to a manseriously!!!!

 

[luthiengirlie]

I just thought of something.... there is this bible story..someone check me out if i'm in error

but Abraham's sone was about to get married. He sent His servant to find his son a wife.
THe servant prayed ASKED YHWH to show him who she was by her willi8ng to draw water for the servant AND his horses...a woman did and they got married and fell in love

this SHOWS me YHWH ASSIGNS soulmates!

 

[Shimmie]

yes, anywhere. I'm not saying one shouldn't be at church often, BUT if you spend all your time physically in the church and not because you have a full time job there then. . . . .what Good are you to the world? We are to be a light unto the world. . . .not unto ourselves.




BTW: Ruth was working when God placed her in Boaz's eyesight. And Boaz was working too.

THEY WERE NOT IN THE TEMPLE/CHURCH/CAMPMEETING/ETC lol

HEY! Stop telling the Truth!

You are dripping with pearls. (Pearls of Wisdom and Truth) You are TRULY speaking a good Word up in here.

I hate to say this, but most happily married folks have NOT met in Church. Many of the men ain't there. But then, we ALL KNOW that. Get em' from the football games.

God will lead and they will follow ... So I see a Tailgate wedding for many in the future.

 

[Shimmie]

I just thought of something.... there is this bible story..someone check me out if i'm in error

but Abraham's sone was about to get married. He sent His servant to find his son a wife.
THe servant prayed ASKED YHWH to show him who she was by her willi8ng to draw water for the servant AND his horses...a woman did and they got married and fell in love

this SHOWS me YHWH ASSIGNS soulmates!

You are absolutely right, You are speaking of Abraham who sent his servant to find a wife for his son Issac. And in so doing, he found Rebekkah >>> (spelling ?) who proved herself by going the extra mile, watering his horses one by one.

 

[Shimmie]

ABSOLUTLY POWERFUL! BEING MYSELF BEING A CHILD OF YHWH being a person who is choosing to grow.

Im always telling a friend
that BEING ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS is attractive like CHEESECAKE to a manseriously!!!!

Oooooo! Adding Cheesecake Factory as a meeting place. Uh-huh.

Okay.... Next!

 

[luthiengirlie]

You are absolutely right, You are speaking of Abraham who sent his servant to find a wife for his son Issac. And in so doing, he found Rebekkah >>> (spelling ?) who proved herself by going the extra mile, watering his horses one by one.

and guess where she WASN'T? in church

 

[HeChangedMyName]

HEY! Stop telling the Truth!

You are dripping with pearls. (Pearls of Wisdom and Truth) You are TRULY speaking a good Word up in here.

I hate to say this, but most happily married folks have NOT met in Church. Many of the men ain't there. But then, we ALL KNOW that. Get em' from the football games.

God will lead and they will follow ... So I see a Tailgate wedding for many in the future.

hey now! football season is blossoming. Ain't nothing wrong with some Christian sisters partaking in some cola and wangs(yep I said wangs) at the local venue while watching the bigscreen football games, while being peeped by boaz. im just sayin' boys like girls that like sports.

 

[sidney]

Girl, you gonna get me in trouble with Jesus with my bold statement. But it's the TRUTH. I was tired of all the girls he was bringing to my house for me to meet.

Anyhoo.....

Sidney I can see it all too clear how you have been literally 'bombarded' by women seeking to match you up with their son (or friend or family member). I used to run, because I thought sumpin' was wrong with him. I mean, Golly Geepers, why can't he speak for himself? . Was he missing any 'parts' unknown.

I'm getting a little too playful here.... :blush3: Pray for me.

But Sid, I'm being real, I used to run. , cause I thought he was unable to get a girl on his own. However, I'm sensible NOW enough to realize that it's not always the case. Except for this one guy, right? Well he just wasn't the one. And that's ALL I'm sayin'. I mean, I'm just sayin'.

I think I'll quit while I'm ahead. However, my compliment to you still stands and it stands upon the Rock... our Jesus. These women do see the 'good' in you, they really do. :Rose:

Oh my, I can't breath lol ! The other thing is, if the mother is this involved in the hook up, you practically be married to her too lol. Then I'd be posting in that "Who comes first: mom or wife" thread lol!

Thank you for the compliment, who knows.....the next introduction may be the one. But honestly I think part of it is that I just prefer to observe character first but I woun't rule anyone out if I feel the spirit is leading. Thanks Shimmie.

 

[luthiengirlie]

I feel the same way.



People who usually say that are the ones that like to pick and choose which laws to follow; if they should or should not obey God.



We are suppose to only date people who we are equally yoked with. This is not a "strictly religious" thing, it is a Christian. How can we say that we are of God but we are not obeying His words. For me, if I meet a man that doesn't have a relationship with the Most High, then he is out of my dating pool. I think she is forgetting (or doesn't know) that the devil goes to church too. Just because a man is in church that doesn't make him a Christian.



I read a Christian article that says it is ok for women to purse guys. I don't see anything wrong with this, just as long as he is a man of God. I personally like men to approach me.



I don't know what to make of this.



Speaking in general I have noticed this is the black community. I don't understand why some parents would make their daughters go to church but if their sons don't want to go they don't have to. Things like this hurts me so much. I rather have my child hate me because I want to him succeed in life and be a great man of God, than for me to be his best friend and watch him self-destruct in front of my eyes.



First of all Jesus is the ONLY source of salvation. A man shouldn't have to compete for the number 1 position because that position is not open to competition (at least for me). That spot belongs to God and if anyone is placed before Him they are considered to be idols.

If a man needs me to worship the ground he walks on in order to feel like a man than he is not the one for me, this just displays selfish behavior. I have no problem making a man feel like a man, but he is not my god.



Thank you

enlarged bolded and COLORFIED I LOVE THIS..SPEAK THE TRUTH HOMIE! ROTFL

 

[Shimmie]

I know what you mean HCMN, I have eyes, I can see . There are some fine men in the church. But if I am not able to view your character over an extended period of time, I'm not going to go out with you.

The good thing about church hook ups though is that the other's involved may know the guy's character and can give you more insight on the person. Which is why I think church involvement can be a good thing.

Amen Sidney. In all truth and my kidding aside, no matter where we have met our future husbands, Church is the place to bring him for the covering of prayer and God's wisdom and His presence to prevail over the relationship.

No matter when or where a couple meets, God has to prevail and the House of God and the prayers and fellowship of those of like precious faith, has to be forefront; it's either God or the enemy.

 

[HeChangedMyName]

look at the proverbs 31 wife. . . . .

She was ABOUT HER BUSINESS. ON THE GRIND. PROBABLY TITHING A 10TH AND GIVING OFFERINGS, HELPING THE HOMELESS, FEEDING THE SICK AND SHUT IN. ETC.

 

[LovingLady]

ABSOLUTLY POWERFUL! BEING MYSELF BEING A CHILD OF YHWH being a person who is choosing to grow.

Im always telling a friend
that BEING ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS is attractive like CHEESECAKE to a manseriously!!!!

look at the proverbs 31 wife. . . . .

She was ABOUT HER BUSINESS. ON THE GRIND. PROBABLY TITHING A 10TH AND GIVING OFFERINGS, HELPING THE HOMELESS, FEEDING THE SICK AND SHUT IN. ETC.

I love that scripture.

 

[HeChangedMyName]

Amen Sidney. In all truth and my kidding aside, no matter where we have met our future husbands, Church is the place to bring him for the covering of prayer and God's wisdom and His presence to prevail over the relationship.

No matter when or where a couple meets, God has to prevail and the House of God and the prayers and fellowship of those of like precious faith, has to be forefront; it's either God or the enemy.

yesss, now that is the truth! Church is where you get spiritual fed and covered, you may or may not meet your mate there, BUT it is not the end all be all to meeting your husband.

 

[Shimmie]

and guess where she WASN'T? in church

Tou' che!

She didn't have on makeup either ! It was sweated off watering them horses.

I hope she was able to save some water for a nice hot bath.

I'm so glad Abraham's servant didn't ask her to share her Mega Tek with the horses. Now that would have done it for me. I have my 'standards' and I don't give up my hair goods to horses, instead, I take theirs.

 

[sidney]

yesss, now that is the truth! Church is where you get spiritual fed and covered, you may or may not meet your mate there, BUT it is not the end all be all to meeting your husband.

Yes, I agree with all you ladies. I've been surprised to encounter many christian men randomly outside of church. There are christian men out there in the world. So, before you leave the house, unwrap you hair.....lol! I'm just saying.

 

[HeChangedMyName]

Yes, I agree with all you ladies. I've been surprised to encounter many christian men randomly outside of church. There are christian men out there in the world. So, before you leave the house, unwrap you hair.....lol! I'm just saying.

you know "we" can be notorius for wearing the hair wrapped to preserve it for what we feel are important events.

unwrap the hair AND lotion the ankles and elbows.

 

[WAVES4DAYS]

Tou' che!

She didn't have on makeup either ! It was sweated off watering them horses.

I hope she was able to save some water for a nice hot bath.

I'm so glad Abraham's servant didn't ask her to share her Mega Tek with the horses. Now that would have done it for me. I have my 'standards' and I don't give up my hair goods to horses, instead, I take theirs.

@ the bold:

 

[Shimmie]

yesss, now that is the truth! Church is where you get spiritual fed and covered, you may or may not meet your mate there, BUT it is not the end all be all to meeting your husband.

Amen Sis... Amen. You're still preaching fire and Truth.

This is where it gets messed up, by leaving God out of the union. There is and will ALWAYS be a spiritual tie in our relationships here on earth and that spiritual connection and / or influence will be either God or the enemy.

As humans we are spirit, soul and body. We still need the Church for the right spirit to feed our souls and to KEEP our souls from perishing. No marriage, let alone any relationship can survive without the Breath of Life which is God alone and none other.

So from the field goal ("Touch Down") to the House of God and the fullness thereof. For God is our Father, Our righteous judge, our Master, Our Saviour, Our Lord God forever and without Him, there is no life in love, no matter how it comes.

When we come into a relationship, we need God all the more. As you said, HCMN, it is not the end all.

I learned the hard way in my first marriage, and God knows I learned a hard lesson, that without God's presence in my life and marriage, there was no marriage.

With God... all things are not only possible, but with God all things are alive. And there isn't a thing that the devil can do about it.

Praise Jesus!

 

[Shimmie]

@ the bold:

I have my standards! And that's just final !

Mega Tek is $25 a bottle at Amazon.

What they think this is ?

However, if Jesus changed water into wine, then surely .....

 

[sidney]

you know "we" can be notorius for wearing the hair wrapped to preserve it for what we feel are important events.

unwrap the hair AND lotion the ankles and elbows.

Uhmn humn, my hair is waiting on Friday as we speak lol! We have gotten completely off subject. SMH.

 

[Shimmie]

you know "we" can be notorius for wearing the hair wrapped to preserve it for what we feel are important events.

unwrap the hair AND lotion the ankles and elbows.

Take a note from the Prophets....

They always carried OIL.

He annointeth thy elbows and knees with Oil.

And please don't be rancid. Keep some FRESH Oil in thy purses.

OH and don't get caught in the Church ladies room rubbing ash off your knees and heels.

The women's Will TALK about you.

 

[HeChangedMyName]

back on topic. LOL!!!

I think we all can sort of agree that the church ain't done nothing to a women except hold her focus, but if a woman wants to give more of her attention to the church than to making sure she is presentable for Boaz, then its her choice and she can't blame the church for her personal choice.

 

[sidney]

Take a note from the Prophets....

They always carried OIL.

He annointeth thy elbows and knees with Oil.

And please don't be rancid. Keep some FRESH Oil in thy purses.

OH and don't get caught in the Church ladies room rubbing ash off your knees and heels.

The women's Will TALK about you.

Surely Lubriderm shall follow me all the days of my life.

And I will dwell in a house with oil forever, amen.

 

[Shimmie]

Uhmn humn, my hair is waiting on Friday as we speak lol!

We have gotten completely off subject. SMH.

No we haven't. Sidney, we're getting to the TRUTH of the matter.

These are all of the Church things that have been holding women back.

NO JOKE ! We didn't behave this way before Church.

So, We are totally ON Subject. We're getting the root of the matter.

Each of your posts are so on target and they are much 'Food for Thought'.

This is why ....

I'm sorry....

I'm just gonna say it.

This is why men are at the football games.

Keep it coming. This is what's been hiding behind the 'Pews'.