Why do women keep going back to abusive STYLIST?

[lana]

Why do (Black) women keep going back to abusive STYLISTS? I'm trying to understand it. Let's see what was my worst hair stylist experience? Oh yeah, waiting in the salon for eight hours just so that he could start washing my hair, only to have him tell me it's too nappy to press or some such nonsense! Then he ripped through my hair with a blow dry and brush (!) followed by a pressing experience that was not pleasant and when I got home I found that I had a burned off bald patch in the back from the comb! He covered it up with the longer hair! I said I was NEVER going back! I didn't but then....

Fast forward two years...I try again to get a professional press....a woman this time...and the lady does almost the exact same thing although she tells me that if I keep coming back to her she can get my hair trained to the comb and it will straighten out much better. Then she proceeded to burn me with the comb and say "Oops, I wasn't looking." I got up and said never again and true to my word. I haven't set foot in a salon in over two years for sure.

I do everything myself because of the confidence LHCF has given me with my hair. My hair is not the longest or the fullest, but for me it's the healthiest, longest and thickest that it's ever been. (Collarbone length 4a, texlaxed head)

So ladies chime in....why do women keep going back to abusive stylist? Why are we too afraid to get up out of that chair? Why do we let them control what happens to our hair and scalp?

 

[tapioca_pudding]

I hear ya.. these are some of my reasons (these apply to my 'former' self and to other women I know who continue allowing a "stylist" to abuse their hair):

1. We dont know ne better. For the most part all we know is that when we want our hair 'done', we go somewhere and get it 'done'. End of story.

2. We dont know enuf about haircare to speak up for ourselves. So we take everything they say as law becuz they are 'trained'.

3. We honestly dont know what healthy hair looks/feels like.

Thats all I can think of for now...

 

[guesswho]

I was asking myself that same question, there's warning signs look around, be in control of your hair, when the stylist walks up to you with a rat tail comb run!

 

[lana]

When the stylist starts trying to trim your hair without even asking you first, get up and leave! Just get up out of the chair, take off the dog on black wrap thing and leave. Don't look back!

I have had too much length cut off over the years because a stylist says: You NEED a trim or your hair won't grow. One guy even told me you carry stress in the back middle of your hair. I believed him, but guess what I found out? They were burning the crap out of the back middle of my hair because it was coarse. It was coarse because they kept burning it! When I took over my own hair care I found out that my back middle can grow and grow and grow! And it's silky, not coarse!

 

[LondonDiva]

lol I just started a thread in the OT section called "Can I be honest? - Hair horror stories" around this same sort of thing,

 

[LondonDiva]

What gets my back up are all the sympathy posts after you go to a bad stylist and LET these people abuse your hair.

"I'm sorry you didn't speak up and endure the abuse" Then come here crying about it. Spare me please.

Yes I know, know, it sounds harsh, but that's just the blunt way I am!! i can't do sympathy, I just can't. (well in most scenarios anyway)

 

[delecie]

Some women are easily intimidated. No matter what they experience in the salon, they've been conditioned to believe that the stylist knows best.

 

[shelli4018]

Many of us just don't know any better. As a group we've forgotten the basic skill of taking care of our own heads. So we're vulnerable to every Tom, Dick and Shay Shay at the salon.

 

[Desert Skye]

For me, it was because there wasnt many salons that I felt could do "my" hair. I was reluctant to go to a "white" salon because I didnt think they would even take me ( dont ask what I was thinking) But believe me she tore up my hair worst than I could myself and on top of that I was paying her!!

 

[MizAvalon]

I hear ya.. these are some of my reasons (these apply to my 'former' self and to other women I know who continue allowing a "stylist" to abuse their hair):

1. We dont know ne better. For the most part all we know is that when we want our hair 'done', we go somewhere and get it 'done'. End of story.

2. We dont know enuf about haircare to speak up for ourselves. So we take everything they say as law becuz they are 'trained'.

3. We honestly dont know what healthy hair looks/feels like.

Thats all I can think of for now...

Agreed. Most women just don't know any better. If they did, why would they allow it?

 

[firecracker]

I was one of those folxs but eventually I woke the helz up.

 

[CAPlush]

Over the years, reviewing all the stylists I've been to, I've not found one who actually "wants" to do my hair and is happy to see me when I walk in (even with good tipping). My head is not an easy head of hair to do considering the conventional tools and methods used, so I just don't go anymore. You also can't find anyone after you've relaxed your hair who even acts as if they have minimal amount of basic respect for your natural texture. I'll still get a Dom blowout if I just have to have my hair "done," but otherwise my hair is thriving in my sad lil bun!

 

[LondonDiva]

Many of us just don't know any better. As a group we've forgotten the basic skill of taking care of our own heads. So we're vulnerable to every Tom, Dick and Shay Shay at the salon.

Are you talking about on here (LHCF) or outside of this group?

 

[sareca]

I can count the number of times I've been to a salon on 1 hand. Even before I knew better I didn't like how my hair was treated. I keep playing with the idea of going back tho.

 

[shelli4018]

Are you talking about on here (LHCF) or outside of this group?

I'm talking about black women in general.

 

[glamazon386]

I think it's mainly because many of us don't know any better. I mean stylists go to school and get licenses... so they should know what they're doing right?

 

[Misseyl]

I haven't been to a beautician in over 3 years and haven't been tempted to either. Don't miss them much and I'm keeping my hair healty and saving money at the same time, you can't beat that .

 

[deejoy]

I wonder the same thing. I have a friend that complains about her stylist all the time. She mentioned she wanted her hair waist length for her wedding but her stylist hacks off a good amount of progress. She asked her stylist for chinese blunt bangs and got a supershort side bang. Then she told me she was mad at her stylist because her stylist who does her mom's hair as well, gave her mom a relaxer and permanent hair color in the same day and her mom lost hair. And after all that, she continues to go to the stylist.