Why do we self inflict abuse on our hair?

[Vintageglam]

So I am sure that we have all been guilty of this crime at this point so she who is without sin feel free to cast the first stone.

Anyway I bumped into an old freind today whilst out and about in town and I was shocked by what I saw. GF had the most beautiful hair I have ever seen. She has the sort of hair that naturally curled up in kinda 3something ringlet silk-ish curls which look "wild" and beautiful which she used to cut on an angle in layers with the layers framing her face sitting at her chin like a super model or something (I think she is a mix of black Guadaloupe, white french and reunion Islander). Men loved this hair. All this girl needed was mascara, earrings and a pretty dress and she was good to go.

ANYWAY (before I digress) she always had an obsession with getting her hair relaxed which I used to wonder about like she was crazy or something. So I bump into her today and she had done it??? nono:

I just couldn't belive it? In place of where her beautiful curls used to be was thin breaking chin/ neck lenght hair. I am not hating or judging as I have war crimes to attest to where my hair is concerned. However I have always felt that I wasn't so gifted in the hair dept as GF so I cannot understand why she did it. Anyway we got to speaking and eventually went for a coffee which became lunch became an afternoon drink etc and she confessed that she REALLY regretted doing it and that she had relaxed her hair to be more corporate (she works in PR/ Marketing in Banking).

So anyway she is now going to do a Big Chop. She has a beautiful face an bone structure so I am sure a fade will suit her to a "T". I am just so sad that she had to have this 3 - 4 year set back. To add insult to injury the relaxing has done some damage to her edges and nape. Clearly it was not the relaxer that was completely to blame but rather her hair practices. I am just so sad to see my friend whom was one of my hair idols with hair in even worse condition than me?

Anyway just wanted to share because it hurt me soooo much...

 

[BostonMaria]

You know how people are. The grass always looks greener on the other side. A good friend of mine (Puerto Rican) was always teased about her 3c hair. It was always BIG, long and just fit her personality. She decided she was tired of it and in 2005 decided to get the Japaneese straightening thing done professionally and she regretted it. She is STILL transitioing that mess.

I had a friend that all her life had MBL 4b hair. She grew up, relaxed it and now it's thin and not as cute. I'm sure the stylist is overlapping her hair.

 

[vainღ♥♡jane]

she relaxed for corporate purposes? homegirl betta slick that hair back in a bun next time and keep that natural hair. ♥

 

[Americka]

I can't speak for anyone else, but prior to LHCF, I was a slave to what LOOKED good and not what was HEALTHIEST. As I have come to learn, healthy hair requires effort and will power - something I lacked for a very long time. Example - I mentioned in another thread that I relaxed root to tip for yearssss. Why? Because I was easier to apply relaxer that way (lazy) than it was to carefully apply to new growth only. And a fresh relaxer always jazzed up my raggedy ends for a minute. One sad spring day, I got tired of finding hair on my shirts, countertop, and floor. The abuse stopped that day...

 

[IDareT'sHair]

I think it Mostly Stems from: Lack of Knowledge.

Misinformation, Sterotypes, In-Grained Beliefs, Bad 'Hair' Advice from Stylist/Salons, Bad (Unhealthy) Products, Abuse of Products, Improper Use of Heat Tools, Bad Hair Care Practices etc....

These things combined are a Recipe for Disaster.

All Can Lend to inflicting Self-Abuse.

But IMO: It is All a Result of Lack of Knowledge.

 

[isabella09]

I think it Mostly Stems from: Lack of Knowledge.

Misinformation, Sterotypes, In-Grained Beliefs, Bad 'Hair' Advice from Stylist/Salons, Bad (Unhealthy) Products, Abuse of Products, Improper Use of Heat Tools, Bad Hair Care Practices etc....

These things combined are a Recipe for Disaster.

All Can Lend to inflicting Self-Abuse.

But IMO: It is All a Result of Lack of Knowledge.

Fantastic post IDareT’sHair! I absolutely agree.

Stellagirl76, I hope your friend recovers from this soon and her hair gets back to its full gorgeousness.