why do men love long hair??

[MonPetite]

WOW, all these negative reactions by men to short hair makes me want to relax, to be sure all of my length is appreciated.

It seems shrinkage will forever keep natural women forever single, alone, unappreciated and unloved. SMH.

This "long hair" thing is seems very Eurocentric.

No one in this thread (and if I missed it, IAIA) is saying men love "Big" AND "Long" hair. Just long the way Europe (and yes, basically everywhere else but Sub-saharan Africa, though colonization has done its job there too and the "conqueror's tastes" have taken root) sees it:

Mostly straight, down your back.

It seems relaxers and flat-irons are the only way to achieve this "down your back" look for black women.

How depressing.

I'm going with my significant hair theory to keep smiling.

I've met so many men who are clearly pleased by a woman's over all beauty, irregardless of hair length.

I didn't even know it was this bad for short haired women until I read this thread.

Truth be told, I was unaware of a lot of "disadvantages" of being Black Woman until I started reading threads in the Off Topic forum.

I've never had issues attracting men of all races with a darn-near fade or TWA.

Perhaps it is an issue of location?

I'm in the midwest...I would think this would be the last place a TWA would get acceptance....

Hmm. Unsettling, this topic is.

 

[Pandora1975]

I haven't read the entire thread, but the love of long hair is primal and cultural. More primal though. In humans, long, thick, healthy hair is a sign of health. Culture has influenced us to accept short hair, especially in men, but the primal side of us still wants the healthy part. Length is usually the most easily recognized signs of health though.

Hope I made sense- I haven't had coffee yet.

 

[almond eyes]

Sadly, this is not even about colonization. In Ethiopia, women have extremely long hair even without the flat iron and straigtening tools and men of all races drool. And I mentionned when I went to Addis Ababa in April, even I was drooling over the hair of the Ethiopian women and somehow all that hair added to their looks even if some where not the most beautiful. The West African and Arab men in my group were literally fixated on these women. And the Ethiopian women who could not achieve long/big hair would weave it up or cornrow it up with extensions.

And in West Africa, women were using forks to straighten their hair long before colonisation. My great grandmother in the village who had never seen white people was using that fork according to my mother.

Again big breasts, high butts and long/big hair do something to men its instinctive. Hypnotises them.

With that being said, you can still have short hair and be fly and yes while a woman may not attract a large pool of men that might be better in terms of dwindling down choices of men. Of course, this works in the warmer months, the issue of the hair. But in the Winter, its all about the face.

Best,
Almond Eyes

 

[aa9746]

My SO is Caucasian, and though he met me with APL length hair, he never saw my hair down until last month. Its now BSL or a bit past in some areas. I was wearing drawstring ponies as a PS, and my own hair in a bun. He actually has a better attitude about how I wear my hair than ALL of the African-American men I have dated. My SO even commented on how "cute" my Mrs. Celie braids were. I was like, "huh? Thanks." I would never even leave the house with my hair like that, yet he liked it. Another time my hair was just combed out in a big fro and he thought it was a lovely thing. Past negro exes would've been like, "Umm, you need to tame/perm that mess before you go out anywhere with me." That leads me to believe that he is very supportive of my hair and me in general. I don't think being Caucasian means you're likely to prefer long hair...black men can be just as ASININE when it comes to the subject.

I think Caucasian men are used to seeing long hair, (as far as on Caucasian women) and most Black men aren't used to real (e.g. not extensions) long hair on Black women. When they see it on other women, I guess it becomes a look they largely come to prefer. To many Caucasian men, it simply doesn't matter...they are often more supportive of our own hair being natural/the way it is than people of our own race, SADLY.[/quote]

ITA, my best friend's husband is white and although her hair is relaxed he prefers her natural short hair.

 

[heyfranz]

No Biggie. Some men prefer Halle, some prefer Beyonce, some prefer Amber Rose. It's all about a preference. Everyone is entitled to that.

 

[LoveLongLocks]

Almost all men find long hair attractive....for some reason....
That is how I began to grow my hair.
My boyfriends were always obsessed about me growing my hair out, therefore - I would cut it, dye it, and fry it....I just didn't care, b/c I expressed myself with my hair.
This was my way to prove to them that I am not my hair, and for me to figure out if they care about me or having a trophy. However, being married now to a man that loves me no matter what - made the difference. He said -"Baby, can you just please let your hair grow?..." and the rest is history.

 

[anon123]

What does that have to do with her ability to be a good girlfriend?

Well, we all have our insecurities. But to be the best friends we can be, we shouldn't take them out on other people. But hey, we all slip up sometimes, that's human.

OP, I know it's a sore spot for you, I have my own. But an apology to him would be nice. He wasn't trying to be mean and you cussed him out!

Lamb and AlmondEyes, interesting points. I do wonder about long vs. big. For my natural hair, I've always thought of it as those being the same things, long and big. Naturally it's big, and straightened it's long.

I do wonder, though, what cultures don't have long hair as their beauty standard. From what I understand, Zulu women traditionally kept their hair cut very short.

Who mentioned Halle Berry? It made me wonder about competing forces. Halle has a very pretty face. I think long/big hair tends to take attention away from the face. So if both long/big hair and pretty faces attract someone, these might be competing forces. If your pretty face has more of a draw than your attractive hair, maybe it's better if you have less hair. Just thinking . . .

 

[Solitude]

My SO is Caucasian, and though he met me with APL length hair, he never saw my hair down until last month. Its now BSL or a bit past in some areas. I was wearing drawstring ponies as a PS, and my own hair in a bun. He actually has a better attitude about how I wear my hair than ALL of the African-American men I have dated. My SO even commented on how "cute" my Mrs. Celie braids were. I was like, "huh? Thanks." I would never even leave the house with my hair like that, yet he liked it. Another time my hair was just combed out in a big fro and he thought it was a lovely thing. Past negro exes would've been like, "Umm, you need to tame/perm that mess before you go out anywhere with me." That leads me to believe that he is very supportive of my hair and me in general. I don't think being Caucasian means you're likely to prefer long hair...black men can be just as ASININE when it comes to the subject.

I think Caucasian men are used to seeing long hair, (as far as on Caucasian women) and most Black men aren't used to real (e.g. not extensions) long hair on Black women. When they see it on other women, I guess it becomes a look they largely come to prefer. To many Caucasian men, it simply doesn't matter...they are often more supportive of our own hair being natural/the way it is than people of our own race, SADLY.

With all fairness, your SO isn't necessarily representative of most Caucasian men. He may be more representative of white men who date black women and have thereby made a conscious decision to accept women of color, hair and all.

Also, if hair has never been something he had to think about (being called beady-bead, wearing fros/locs/braids, hearing the word "naps" growing up) then he has probably been blessed not to have to deal with the issue. MOST black men have not had that privilege. I wouldn't describe black men as being "asinine" on the subject, it's just that they've had a different experience than white men.

I don't really think it's a race issue at all, though. If it were, there would not be so many non-black women wearing extensions these days.

I've only dated black men and none of them have been asinine or ignorant about my hair. I just had to speak up for the brothers, because they seem to always get a bad rap on the hair issue.

 

[almond eyes]

Mwedzi (beautiful name by the way), I also wonder about cultures where big/long hair was/is not the standard of beauty. I guess many cultures predominately prize big/long hair though yes not all cultures do. For example, when my Dad was growing up in Nigeria in his particular area, women wore short afros hardly anyone carried big/long hair. So, the emphasis was not on hair but on other characteristics such as smooth skin, big hips and meaty body. Big hair was seen as unkempt while twa was seen as neat (cannot attract lice, easier to wash, doesn't look wild).

Best,
Almond Eyes

 

[lil_xelle]

I skimmed the thread :/ but i read a psychology book that said that Men prefer women with long hair because back the the cave days, that was the best way to show health. The longer your hair was, the hallthier you seemed to be. The same way when people wonder why men like women with blonde hair, because most women who had blonde hair as youg women tend to have browner hair as they age. Same thing for big boobs....just thought i sould share

 

[aquajoyice]

I think simply it symbolizes femininity. And my BF always says he wants the opposite of himself. And long hair is just that.

 

[Bluetopia]

Boyfriend: Please don't cut your hair again..let it grow
Me: What the f**k for..(sorry..i have an anger problem)
Boyfriend: Because I like it..and I think you will look nice with it
Me: Why should I? If you want me to have long hair..go to the store and buy me some.
Boyfriend:erplexed
Me:..ask me one more time to grow my hair..and i'm cutting all this (PROFANITY)..off!
Boyfriend:

bwaaaaaaahaaaaaahaaaaa!!!!

i know anger management isnt supposed to be funny but girl Rick James aint got on you!

You.are.Gangsta.

 

[pringe]

Mwedzi, when i said What does her hair have to do with her ability with being a good girlfriend I think u misunderstood.

I wasn't talking about the OP. I was talking about the story that the guy had told me and my response was what does her hair have to do with her ability to be a good girlfriend.


I did say i think she could explain to him why she got upset & apologize. We all have insecurities but lets be honest. It may not be right but a lot of times we hurt those closest to us with words because we know that they will be there for us. Although that's tru it doesnt make it right.

 

[Freespirit02]

Almost all men find long hair attractive....for some reason....
That is how I began to grow my hair.
My boyfriends were always obsessed about me growing my hair out, therefore - I would cut it, dye it, and fry it....I just didn't care, b/c I expressed myself with my hair.
This was my way to prove to them that I am not my hair, and for me to figure out if they care about me or having a trophy. However, being married now to a man that loves me no matter what - made the difference. He said -"Baby, can you just please let your hair grow?..." and the rest is history.

That's what my man said..exact words. For some reason that was a signal to rebel!

 

[BostonMaria]

That's what my man said..exact words. For some reason that was a signal to rebel!

I am sensitive to remarks about my hair and weight so I understand. I'm sending you a big hug.

 

[MissMeWithThatIsh]

I've had people wonder why I cover it up so much, but no one really remarked about my hair... except women. The men I know have always accepted my hair... especially my father.

He doesn't understand the reason for relaxers... his philosophy is to just take care of and present yourself well. Same with DH... and some others. I've had TWAs and dry, shriveled fros that have pushed me above and beyond horrific looking and all my ex-SO would say at the time is I don't care. He actually threw my Miss Jessies across the room once.

At this point in life, anyone who doesn't agree with (as in accepting of) me as a person, is not someone I will have in my life.

I know I LOVE long hair because I think it flatters my features well. I can obviously look nice in almost anything or any length, as I have an oval face, high cheekbones and nice structure... but longer hair in general exudes an extremely whimsical, sensual, feminine quality about a woman, especially if it's cared for.

 

[Nightingale]

My SO says: Long hair is sexy and feminine.