why do men love long hair??

I think it also has to do with bragging rights. They love to brag about u to their friends. Say how their woman has all this long hair and it's all hers. I'm sure he didn't mean any harm, lol.

In some ways u must agree with him on some level or else it wouldn't have struck a chord with u. You'll achieve ur goals don't sweat it.
 
LittleGoldenLamb said:
I think, more accurately, men like SIGNIFICANT hair.

Even more accurate: "ABUNDANT" HAIR.

It's a biological marker that a woman is in good health.

Straight, blonde, red, etc. are CULTURALLY DRIVEN preferences.

ABUNDANT HAIR either Afro and HUGE or long and straight is a biological marker that signals she is healthy and can bear children.

The problem, is when society says that only ONE TYPE OF "SIGNIFICANT/ABUNDANT HAIR" is acceptable.

Which forces people (men, for the most part in that society) to ignore what their BIOLOGY tells them is acceptable -IE, massive Afros.

DNA says: A lot of thick, healthy hair irregardless of the texture, whether it grows out or down or color equals sexy. ABUNDANT HAIR EQUALS SEXY.

Sexy, in the most basic sense = can bear children successfully.

Our society says: ONLY BLONDE, THICK, STRAIGHT HAIR IS SEXY!

You see the same thing with breasts in our society:

Biology's take:
Large breasts (out of proportion to her body, I'm not talking about naturally well-endowed ladies, who have a body that matches their proportions "up top") usually signal a female is NURSING and will have no want "to mate". A handful of well-shaped "bosom", signals a woman has a healthy amount of fat...but is not pregnant or nursing. This means she may be receptive to "mating".

Society's take:
The media trains men to think "sexy" (massive, pointy breasts) is something that biologically is NOT. Large breasts on a disturbingly skinny woman should signal she MUST be nursing (when they are out of proportion to her body. Again, I'm not talking about women who are naturally well endowed, my dears).

This can be seen in the body type preferred by high fashion:
Particularly in models who are abnormally thin, EVEN FOR A NATURALLY TALL WOMAN (I'm not speaking of women who are naturally petite, which I am -I'm average height however, or naturally tall and slim women).

The fashion world is attaching the adjectives "beautiful", "sexy", "feminine" to a body type that our DNA says:

DON'T MATE WITH THAT! She couldn't bring a child to term if she tried!

While many a super model has had very healthy, lovely children, biologically, men are hard wired prefer a bit of "meat".

To put it bluntly:
There's a reason ultra-skinny porn-stars are in short supply.


I think the "Men and Long Hair" issue is a case of nature vs. nurture.

Nature says: Abundant, significant hair (NO MATTER WHAT THE TEXTURE OR COLOR) = health. Health = sexy.

Nurture/society says: Long, straight, blonde, thick hair = sexy. Everything else = Not Sexy. Health? Who cares! This is about appealing to the dominant culture. Health is what we say it is!!
Click to expand...

Very interesting post :yep::up:

It makes me think though... is it really so simple?

Men aren't hardwired to go for one type. Some men like big women, some like small. Some LOVE short hair, some love long hair. Some love tall woman, some like short girls. There is a man into every type of woman out there :yep:

Most men actually like a wide variety of looks :yep: Everyone has their first preference though.

For example... I am attracted to chubby (slightly muscular) types. Like a big old lumberjack football player :lick::lol: but sometimes a thin/short/very muscular guy catches my eye too. I don't think I'm the only one that has been attracted to different types.

Going by your definition of what society says is sexy AND what "nature" says is sexy, I would never get a man. :lol: but that's not the case and never was.

I don't think that there is "one" definition of beauty by nature's standards OR by society's standards... just preferences. Sometimes those preferences are society driven, sometimes they are just your natural preference.
 
I think they like it for the same reasons that we do.. And also how many women can you pick out a room full of NON LHCFers who have real BSL or longer hair?? only a few if any in my neck of the woods.. So its like bobbing for apples in the ocean..
I think its nice thats he's encouraging you to grow it out and has faith that it can cause some men would be like, Weave up immediately pls... theres no hope for you, you have bad genes or some crazy mess like that, lol
My DH is very encouraging and loves the progress I am making and even though my hair is not SL length yet, he likes the way it is but I know he and "I" both want it alot longer, lol
 
Most men love long hair, it just is what it is. He just hit a nerve because you have such a hard time with your fine hair. Most of my hair is thickish but my nape is fine and fragile. That nape hair is like a newborn baby needing constant attention and love. There are lots of fine-haired ladies on here who have found a regimen that works. You will find your reggie too and be pleasantly surprised at how long your hair will grow. Now go kiss your baby and tell him you are sorry.
 
LittleGoldenLamb said:
I think, more accurately, men like SIGNIFICANT hair.

Even more accurate: "ABUNDANT" HAIR.

It's a biological marker that a woman is in good health.
Click to expand...

Good answer! My follow-up question is why aren't women attracted to the same thing in men. Or are they? I like hair on a man, but that is not the norm here. Do you think it's because, when it comes to mammalian reproduction, it's more important for the female to be healthy? Or . . . I don't know, just grabbing at straws here.
 
ljamie4 said:
I think its nice thats he's encouraging you to grow it out and has faith that it can cause some men would be like, Weave up immediately pls... theres no hope for you, you have bad genes or some crazy mess like that, lol
Click to expand...

I wish a ***** would...

Tis all
 
mwedzi said:
Good answer! My follow-up question is why aren't women attracted to the same thing in men. Or are they? I like hair on a man, but that is not the norm here. Do you think it's because, when it comes to mammalian reproduction, it's more important for the female to be healthy? Or . . . I don't know, just grabbing at straws here.
Click to expand...


Did you guys see Oprah this past Friday. It was all about what attracts men on a primal, subconscious level. it was very interesting and goes back to what LGL is saying.

what really attracts men to us?

http://www.oprah.com/article/oprahshow/20090304-tows-science-sex-appeal
 
Aww girly, don't be annoyed! Long hair=femininity to men. The longer the better...although many may claim to be the liberated type....I really believe they ALL like it.
 
Neith;8581722[COLOR=DarkSlateGray said:
][/COLOR]

Going by your definition of what society says is sexy AND what "nature" says is sexy, I would never get a man. :lol: but that's not the case and never was.
Click to expand...


Not true. Maybe you misunderstood my post? If you look healthy (whether petite or reubenesque) and have "significant hair", "you're in".

What I didn't note is that BALDIES AND LOW FADES CAN COUNT AS SIGNIFICANT, depending on your features. Symmetrical face? A baldie can be significant!

So in that way, I suppose, we TWA ladies do have a "chance" biologically speaking.:lachen:

I never said men are hard wired for one type.

I'm saying they're hard wired for HEALTHY.

That comes in a VARIETY of forms. SOCEITY however, picks and chooses those forms valuing some and devaluing others. THAT's the problem.
 
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mwedzi said:
Good answer! My follow-up question is why aren't women attracted to the same thing in men. Or are they? I like hair on a man, but that is not the norm here. Do you think it's because, when it comes to mammalian reproduction, it's more important for the female to be healthy? Or . . . I don't know, just grabbing at straws here.
Click to expand...

There are probably different keys for the sexes.

In the most basic sense:

Men need a healthy mate.

Women need a mate who can pwn lesser males so they don't try to drag us off and be able to slay a buffalo or two. :lachen:

Clearly society works in good ways in this issue as well, for both sexes. For example biology would say to women: ONLY CHOOSE A FIT MATE.

Not necessarily "ripped". But, "fit".

Biology may say, of a cute but very slight guy I see at Borders: DON'T MATE WITH THAT! HE HAS ARMS LIKE PENCILS! HE CAN'T STOP A BEAR FROM EATING YOU OR BRING HOME A MAMMOTH! :nono:

Society (more like, my good upbringing, actually) says: Look closer, girl! He's kind, gentle and works hard. He will love you for who you are and will greatly appreciate your love and encouragement as he HAS suffered socially for not being what society deems is "perfect" or "attractive" for a male. Just as you have known social slights because of who you are and what you look like in relation to society's beauty standards. He will be thoughtful and care about your feelings and wants. You two can fight the battles of this world and live this life together. :yep:
 
Most men like long hair on women because long hair on a woman is feminine. Men love to run their fingers through it and it's something they find sexually attractive. Men are visual so they need visual signs of femninity. They want what they consider the opposite of men and the ideal of what a woman should look like. Even if it's just looking feminine in a blouse or dress, I find that men are more polite and chivalist when I'm wearing feminine clothes and my hair is flowy or up in a loose updo.

I was friends with a guy who hassled me to cut my hair short. He told me I had too much hair. I'm like dude if you want a man with breast then get a tranny. I was offended because to me it seemed like he wanted me to look more masculine.

Also I believe that men's perception of women comes from television and magazines. If your man loves the boob tube and magazines then he is going to want something close to that standard of beauty.
 
ok dear i hear ya. u guys and no offense don't know what her past has been on this issue. She already said it makes her feel insecure which leads me to believe that hair growth has been an issue for you with other people. whether it were ppl who made u feel inferior or guys who didn't want to talk to you.

I totally understand. My hair is the longest its ever been in its life. Its shoulder length but in my head its not. some of u have never had to experience someone calling you buckwheat (yup got that from a guy once) or people making fun of u because ur hair wasnt long (as a child). I was told recently by a guy that 1 of his requirements for a woman was that she has long hair. WTF?!

What does that have to do with her ability to be a good girlfriend? Loyalty and faithful?? Are u Fin kidding me? Now this same guy, has grown to like my puff and ahem says that he likes to ahem...pull on it...ok now im blushin

i think that the bottom line is that a big majority of men still have that complex that if a girl has long hair she is somehow better than the girls with short hair. i do think that of course we can open their eyes and their perceptions begin to change and accept all types of hair but at the end of the day anything that puts u closer to the desired beauty "Fill in the blank" is what they want.

Keep ur head up girl, obviously ur guy loves u just the way u r. Maybe u should try to explain why u reacted the way u did. Obviously he's not with u because of the style of ur hair. And happy growing because thats why we're all here!
 
I'm Sorry for you and your boyfriend had problems over long hair , my concerns, like other poster don't stress yourself out and bring yourself down using that language. Because once you disrespect him it will come a day he will disrespect you. As for hair my hair is short , but when I wear my wigs or weave I received a lot of compliment with short or long hair , and I much older then many of you. If you want to spice up your relationship like another poster stated get you a sexy wig, but thats only your choice. Remember control your angry because one day you really going hurt someone or someone going to hurt you . Domestic Violence sometimes start from a couple of words . I not being hard on you , but I work with angry female daily and they all have different issues. I glad you came to the board to share and please come back , we only want to educate our reader . Find a friend , church or mentor to talk to, because it is something more then longhair. Be blessed, work on being together and asked for forgiveness.
 
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pringe said:
ok dear i hear ya. u guys and no offense don't know what her past has been on this issue. She already said it makes her feel insecure which leads me to believe that hair growth has been an issue for you with other people. whether it were ppl who made u feel inferior or guys who didn't want to talk to you.

I totally understand. My hair is the longest its ever been in its life. Its shoulder length but in my head its not. some of u have never had to experience someone calling you buckwheat (yup got that from a guy once) or people making fun of u because ur hair wasnt long (as a child). I was told recently by a guy that 1 of his requirements for a woman was that she has long hair. WTF?!

What does that have to do with her ability to be a good girlfriend? Loyalty and faithful?? Are u Fin kidding me? Now this same guy, has grown to like my puff and ahem says that he likes to ahem...pull on it...ok now im blushin

i think that the bottom line is that a big majority of men still have that complex that if a girl has long hair she is somehow better than the girls with short hair. i do think that of course we can open their eyes and their perceptions begin to change and accept all types of hair but at the end of the day anything that puts u closer to the desired beauty "Fill in the blank" is what they want.

Keep ur head up girl, obviously ur guy loves u just the way u r. Maybe u should try to explain why u reacted the way u did. Obviously he's not with u because of the style of ur hair. And happy growing because thats why we're all here!
Click to expand...

one of my bosses is like this. he has between shoulder and CBL braids, and he said that he would never date a girl with hair shorter than his. and also, that sucks that some ignorant guys would call a girl buckwheat just because she had short hair. i'm sorry you had to go through that.​
 
loveurself84, looks like you have alot of good advice from the ladies. I say join a challenge on the board and you'll eventually figure out what is working/not working for you. My hair is long, thick, past BSL and if you saw me now you'd think I always had long hair like this.... not even close! I had shoulder length hair for like 26 years and it was due to overlapping relaxers, going to salons, not having the knowledge to take care of my hair. You can have long hair too. Heck if you didn't think you could you wouldn't have joined.

Oh and as far as long hair and men, I definitely get more attention when my hair is down (straight or curly) than I do when its in a protective bun. My DH denies it but he prefers to see it long and straight. But just try not to flip out on your boyfriend though. You don't want to end up losing a good guy over something as simple as hair.
 
vainღ♥♡jane said:
i guess the same reason we do; its so pretty and girly and feminine. and its different from them. a lot of men where their hair shaved, besides men with locs or white boys with that shaggy thing goin on these days, so maybe they want a woman with hair that doesnt come close to theirs? i dunno. its too early for this lol.​
Click to expand...
OT
The pic of the woman w/the scale is hilarious!!

OP: I have not been able to understand what's up with the long hair fascination either:ohwell:. Like someone else suggested, maybe they like it as a contrast between the sexes. I know there are certain things I really like that are different between the sexes.
 
BostonMaria said:
loveurself84, looks like you have alot of good advice from the ladies. I say join a challenge on the board and you'll eventually figure out what is working/not working for you. My hair is long, thick, past BSL and if you saw me now you'd think I always had long hair like this.... not even close! I had shoulder length hair for like 26 years and it was due to overlapping relaxers, going to salons, not having the knowledge to take care of my hair. You can have long hair too. Heck if you didn't think you could you wouldn't have joined.

Oh and as far as long hair and men, I definitely get more attention when my hair is down (straight or curly) than I do when its in a protective bun. My DH denies it but he prefers to see it long and straight. But just try not to flip out on your boyfriend though. You don't want to end up losing a good guy over something as simple as hair.
Click to expand...


Off topic: I love Leilany's hair :yep:!
 
It's been attached to femininity and womanhood since the beginning of time that's why.
While a woman can be beautiful with short or long hair, long hair is a staple image of why a man will visually admire a woman.
 
i don't know, but it's annoying b/c I semi-want a cut

he says no let it longer. BSL was always where i was stopping so he'll just have to be ok.I'm cutting just to maintain here
 
I don't know why but I know that men like it long and most often real. I know that the # of men that approach me has signficantly dropped off since I BC'd. I went from almost BSL to NL and natural. I'm rather tall and petite so I guess I look "manly" with short hair.

ITA with the other ladies about what men like to do with long hair and I guess that's a main force behind it. I also know I've seen lots of women with short hair lately and getting lots of male attention but it probably also has to do with other physical attributes.

I hope you feel better. We are all here to help.
 
Hubby LOVES long hair and you should have seen his eyes light up when i first hit APL, he knows im gonna keep growing it longer and he LOVES IT. I don't think he TRUELY believes i can get it to waist length though, so I am looking forward to shocking him and others :)
 
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It sounds to me that the problem is not really about him/ or men liking long hair:lachen:. I think the issue is that you are just frustrated at the growth process of your hair and the amount of time it took for your hair to get to or stay at the length that it is at! Which is not that big of a deal.:look: It made you angry at that the fact that he issued a statement that you already knew, and the fact that he wants you to prolly grow it even longer, irratate the crap out of you:perplexed. Which is understandable!!!! But don't give up... there is hope. First you just need a CONSISTENT........ regime. Then, you can see what your hair likes or dislikes. baby steps:grin:.
P.S. You know that if your hair was APL or WBL no one would be able to tell you anything,you would be thinking that you were the ish......swinging your hair from side to side all the time:lachen:.
 
pringe said:
ok dear i hear ya. u guys and no offense don't know what her past has been on this issue. She already said it makes her feel insecure which leads me to believe that hair growth has been an issue for you with other people. whether it were ppl who made u feel inferior or guys who didn't want to talk to you.

I totally understand. My hair is the longest its ever been in its life. Its shoulder length but in my head its not. some of u have never had to experience someone calling you buckwheat (yup got that from a guy once) or people making fun of u because ur hair wasnt long (as a child). I was told recently by a guy that 1 of his requirements for a woman was that she has long hair. WTF?!

What does that have to do with her ability to be a good girlfriend? Loyalty and faithful?? Are u Fin kidding me? Now this same guy, has grown to like my puff and ahem says that he likes to ahem...pull on it...ok now im blushin

i think that the bottom line is that a big majority of men still have that complex that if a girl has long hair she is somehow better than the girls with short hair. i do think that of course we can open their eyes and their perceptions begin to change and accept all types of hair but at the end of the day anything that puts u closer to the desired beauty "Fill in the blank" is what they want.

Keep ur head up girl, obviously ur guy loves u just the way u r. Maybe u should try to explain why u reacted the way u did. Obviously he's not with u because of the style of ur hair. And happy growing because thats why we're all here!
Click to expand...


Exactly how i feel..thank you
 
shareeky said:
It sounds to me that the problem is not really about him/ or men liking long hair:lachen:. I think the issue is that you are just frustrated at the growth process of your hair and the amount of time it took for your hair to get to or stay at the length that it is at! Which is not that big of a deal.:look: It made you angry at that the fact that he issued a statement that you already knew, and the fact that he wants you to prolly grow it even longer, irratate the crap out of you:perplexed. Which is understandable!!!! But don't give up... there is hope. First you just need a CONSISTENT........ regime. Then, you can see what your hair likes or dislikes. baby steps:grin:.
P.S. You know that if your hair was APL or WBL no one would be able to tell you anything,you would be thinking that you were the ish......swinging your hair from side to side all the time:lachen:.
Click to expand...

It's not really all of that..actually. I got to this length rather quickly. I was mid-ear in may..now i'm chin level..(i have a long face). It's just I honestly don't know how long my hair can grow. I've always had some issue with my hair..i maybe scissor happy..or have some kind of hair set back.

p.s..i don't think i would ever swinging my hair..i don't like attention..at all:nono:
 
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