WHY DID I FEEL THE NEED TO LIE? IT'S MY HAIR!!!

[MissPriss08]

I recently went into a local salon to get a corrective relaxer. I was getting a touch up after a 6 month stretch. I tried the texturizer route but it was not straight enough for me. I want to re-implement rollersets into my regime so I opted for a corrective relaxer to straighten out my texture a tad bit more. When I spoke with the stylist on the phone when making my appointment I let her know that I was getting a corrective relaxer. When I first got to the salon I let her know again. After she starts applying the relaxer cream to my new growth she can see the waves and automatically assumes that I just needed this relaxer to “sit” and I needed to let her “work it in” for a good length of time. I don’t like super straight hair so I do not like the relaxer to be on my hair long before getting it rinsed out and applying neutralizer. I especially did not want the relaxer to stay in long since it was supposed to be a corrective relaxer. Well I started telling her that it was burning and certain places. It was not burning at all but I wanted the relaxer out. She was so intent on “working it in” that she pulled out hair spray to spray on the “burning” spots and “cool” them down. I continued my lie and told her it was not working and that it was starting to burn in other places (more lies). She led me back to the shampoo bowl and tried to rinse the spots where I told her it was burning. She just did not get the point. I told her that I did not want any scalp burns. Her response was “Oh I have something that I can apply to scalp burns.” The nerve!!! Anyway she finally washed all of the relaxer out and needless to say I will NEVER EVER EVER go back to that salon. Why couldn’t I just “man up” and tell the lady to wash my hair now?!?!

 

[Demi27]

I don't know why, but I know that's happened to me in the past. Not necessarily about the relaxer issue, but about certain things that I did and did not want done to my hair. I haven't been to the salon recently, but I know what you're saying. It's like we don't want to insult them or make them upset by letting them know what we want to have done to OUR hair. I feel ya, girl.

But now, I don't care. My whole thing this year is about doing what's right for my hair and I'm going to (try ) and speak up.

So don't feel bad Ms. Priss. You're not the only one that's happened to.

 

[shunta]

MissPriss, girl I do the same thing at the salon. I have to lie and say its burning for them to wash it out. So like you said, why should we lie about our own hair, huh? Sometimes I even lie and say I just got a trim, too, so she wont even think about trying to do a trim. But you know what? This is a new year and Ill be damned if I have to lie anymore at the salon. Its my hair and Im paying them good money so they just better do what I tell them!! Happy New Year!

 

[LiLi]

I used to speak up to hairdressers and then they would always give me their "professional" what's better for your hair talk and I would end up going along with them. That's when I decided to just start lying and it worked for a while but then my hairdresser caught on to what I was doing.

I have to say, that is why I am so glad that I don't have to rely on hairdressers anymore. It's a shame that it has to be like that. I feel like, I'm paying you, why can't you just do what I ask, take my money, and leave it at that. I just don't get it.

Don't get me wrong, if I felt that a hairdresser was doing something good for my hair, I wouldn't have a problem with it. But I was going to someone every week for 6 or more years straight and my hair never went past my shoulders (she kept cutting off any growth everytime I got a relaxer) ...

 

[sareca]

Because if you don't trick them into doing what you want they probably won't.

 

[EMJazzy]

Stuff like that is the reason why I'm glad I don't have to go to the hairdresser's anymore

 

[Jas123]

This is exactly why I do my own relaxers

 

[balisi]

I especially did not want the relaxer to stay in long since it was supposed to be a corrective relaxer. Well I started telling her that it was burning and certain places. It was not burning at all but I wanted the relaxer out. She was so intent on “working it in” that she pulled out hair spray to spray on the “burning” spots and “cool” them down. I continued my lie and told her it was not working and that it was starting to burn in other places (more lies). She led me back to the shampoo bowl and tried to rinse the spots where I told her it was burning. She just did not get the point. I told her that I did not want any scalp burns. Her response was “Oh I have something that I can apply to scalp burns.” The nerve!!! Anyway she finally washed all of the relaxer out and needless to say I will NEVER EVER EVER go back to that salon. Why couldn’t I just “man up” and tell the lady to wash my hair now?!?!

Perhaps because she was concerned that you would later accuse her of not getting your hair straight enough. It was a corrective, after all. Since she can't read your mind, she was not aware that you wanted all of the relaxer rinsed out after X minutes (your personal time frame). I am in no way defending her, because:
1) I totally disagree with "slowing down a chemical burn"
2) I would have rinsed it out as soon as you complained about it burning -- I just don't play that. If it were still underprocessed, well, I granted your request to rinse it out, so you can't blame me for that.
You say you will never go back. Is that because she didn't pick up on your "hints" or because you couldn't ' "man up" and tell her to wash your hair now?'

 

[CLASSYEBONYGIRL]

First of all sorry to hear about this. How dare her act as if it's not burning you, it's your scalp not hers. How does she know your feelings? She should not have been working in the relaxer but just let it work on it own after it has been applied. I learn that if the relaxer is burning you should spray with water NOT hair spray to "cool it down" or rinse it ASAP.

 

[Cayenne0622]

I believe that as women, we have been conditioned to "try not to hurt people's feelings or offend them". Of course, there are situations where that goes out of the window but in most cases that's how most of us automatically behave...even in the workplace at our own jobs. I have been nervous about doing it the few times I've gone to a salon because my hair is in their hands and I think I get a little scared that they won't do the best possible job once you've stepped on their toes so they may get an attitude and do a half *** style on my head. I can't explain it but I've been very nervous about that in the past. I don't go to stylists anymore. And like the others have said "unfortunately, you are not alone". The last lady I went to thought it was okay to come through my hair with a rat tailed comb. I just don't understand HOW that makes since?? Trained stylist or not.

 

[shunta]

I believe that as women, we have been conditioned to "try not to hurt people's feelings or offend them". Of course, there are situations where that goes out of the window but in most cases that's how most of us automatically behave...even in the workplace at our own jobs. I have been nervous about doing it the few times I've gone to a salon because my hair is in their hands and I think I get a little scared that they won't do the best possible job once you've stepped on their toes so they may get an attitude and do a half *** style on my head. I can't explain it but I've been very nervous about that in the past. I don't go to stylists anymore. And like the others have said "unfortunately, you are not alone". The last lady I went to thought it was okay to come through my hair with a rat tailed comb. I just don't understand HOW that makes since?? Trained stylist or not.

EXACTLY. I agree 100% with this.

 

[gymfreak336]

I believe that as women, we have been conditioned to "try not to hurt people's feelings or offend them". Of course, there are situations where that goes out of the window but in most cases that's how most of us automatically behave...even in the workplace at our own jobs. I have been nervous about doing it the few times I've gone to a salon because my hair is in their hands and I think I get a little scared that they won't do the best possible job once you've stepped on their toes so they may get an attitude and do a half *** style on my head. I can't explain it but I've been very nervous about that in the past. I don't go to stylists anymore. And like the others have said "unfortunately, you are not alone". The last lady I went to thought it was okay to come through my hair with a rat tailed comb. I just don't understand HOW that makes since?? Trained stylist or not.

ITA. What I started doing especially when I thought that overall the (stylist) was okay, I would say something to the effect of " I don't like to have the relaxer in my hair for more than X amount of time or I don't like my hair bone straight so I will tell you when I am ready to be rinsed" before I would go the salon for a relaxer. This way I have already expressed my wishes and if I sensed attitude, I wouldn't go. I just had a blow out my a lady here and I asked her questions about her hair and what not. From talking with her, I think I have a good general picture of her hair sense and she listens well with out being offended. Come to find out, we use some of the same Aubrey stuff. By doing this before hand, I can better judge whether she will ever get the change to come towards my hair with a chemical. Sorry this happened to you.