Why Celibacy?

[southerncitygirl]

Nubia has done it again. I love that this video is from a spiritual not religious perspective. I'm almost at the 3 yr mark and have been celibate multiple times for extended stretches. This time has been different as I feel empowered, free, and love/honor/respect myself more now than I ever have. Its caused me to look inward and take responsibility for mistreatment that I allowed because of a lack of self love/esteem/respect. I don't have to wait till I'm married but the next man who will get some will be someone special and worthy of my lotus flower. We will be friends first.

Here ya go:

http://youtu.be/lIi_43nQJuA

 

[DarkJoy]

yeah, well... I aint celibate on purpose. Just not prospecting right now. Enjoying my singleness...However...come spring, I'll be whoring it up

J/K. Mostly.

 

[hopeful]

DarkJoy, so silly!

 

[ThickHair]

yeah, well... I aint celibate on purpose. Just not prospecting right now. Enjoying my singleness...However...come spring, I'll be whoring it up

J/K. Mostly.

Girl you aint neva lied. I am good until your last statement. I find that the more I am not getting "it" the less I want "it". My former FWB has been calling and texting like crazy, I just can't do it. I feel that he would be blocking my blessings. His crayon is brilliant and he is very artisitic, but I can no longer go there with him or anyone else for that matter.

I just keep my AA batteries stock pile high.

 

[Lucie]

I am always celibate if I am not involved. You know that girl. And I don't even do the "toys" thing. I am all or nothing I suppose. And also I am not knocking those that do. Right now though, I'd love to color but I don't really want to connect with anyone like that. I just want to be me, alone, crayon-less, figuring out how I can better myself with no attached entities to cloud my mind.

Now, if Jay-Z and Beyonce don't make it (God forbid) he's #1 on my list.

 

[swirl]

sex is one of lifes pleasures. why intentionally deny yourself that? i don't understand. i hope someone will answer OP question.

 

[faithVA]

OT: Your hair is beautiful swirl. I hope to see your hair floating around the city.

 

[swirl]

OT: Your hair is beautiful swirl. I hope to see your hair floating around the city.

faithVA. thank you!! you probably will if you live in southside lol

 

[Smiley79]

Umm, my reason is simply that I'm listening to God's command that's layed out in the Bible. I ignored it for years and it never got me anywhere. I've been obeying it for 3+ years now and I can honestly say that I have a cleaner conscience, better health, higher self esteem, less worries and surprisingly, I'm more free for the things that are more important to me. (Sometimes sex sure can keep a person tied up to the wrong person longer than necessary) Now, I'm not tied to any foolishness that sometimes accompanies the "friends with benefits" or crazy dating world.

Yes, I do get lonely, long for companionship, and get hot as Haiti with my sex drive sometimes especially around my time of the month, but its temporary, and the peace of mind I enjoy by obeying and sticking close to God far outweighs the moments of sexual pleasures that a guy can offer me. And although I am not sexually involved, i'm still a passionate and sensual person, very affectionate; since im having sex with a guy, I find myself to be more engaged in really getting to know him in depth, there's this mental clarity that I can't describe. Also, It's amazing the filter work I have been able to do since being celibate. I weed out the men who were strictly booty hunters a lot better than I used to before. On the flip side, I have met some wonderful Men who worked and sweat to really win me despite not being able to sleep with me. Some of these men had genuine desires to get to know me and I didn't have to give a thing in exchange. In most of the cases, it didn't work out for other reasons, but I didnt have to give anything that I couldnt take back. As a matter of fact, with some of them, I developed some fun and interesting friendships that werent awkward or bitter thereafter.

I dont know if it's just me, but I notice especially lately that Men find the Celibacy vow to be a turn on , not sure why, but I get that reaction alot in not so many words; perhaps it's the challenge, perhaps its just something different to them, whatever it is, it's all good. Hopefully, someday soon I will share the goodies again with someone who I will marry. I cant wait because I enjoy coloring very much and that is something that is important to me but until then, no more samples. This shop is closed.

Please excuse if there are a bunch of typos, I sent this on my phone.

 

[southerncitygirl]

Smiley79
as i stated up thread this msg is non-religious that she is giving. its great that that works for you though. i'm not asking anyone why they are celibate that's the name of the yt video, which is why the link is posted.

swirl
i am not asking anyone why they are celibate that's the name of the yt vid posted. celibacy is a time to reflect on on one's self without lust clouding your judgement.

i would greatly appreciate if ppl would take time to watch the vid before they assume or jump to conclusions.

 

[Smiley79]

@southerncitygirl
whoops, so sorry. Hope I didn't offend anyone with that, it certainly wansnt my intention. I love threads on celibacy so I just got to typing. I'm like you, I dont care what the reason is, I just love the discussion. Anyways, that was my oversight, I didnt read that detail in your thread. Please accept my apologies. I can delete the post if you like. I'll check out the video later too.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

Smiley79
as i stated up thread this msg is non-religious that she is giving. its great that that works for you though. i'm not asking anyone why they are celibate that's the name of the yt video, which is why the link is posted.

swirl
i am not asking anyone why they are celibate that's the name of the yt vid posted. celibacy is a time to reflect on on one's self without lust clouding your judgement.

i would greatly appreciate if ppl would take time to watch the vid before they assume or jump to conclusions.

Well, dayum. That was kind of mean.

 

[DarkJoy]

well southerncitygirl, I do agree with the lady. Particularly when she says we're so busy trying to fix men we ignore ourselves, so perhaps thats a reason a relationship ends. then we're forced to do these things and care for ourselves--and not just the physical.

Now, what I saaid earlier aint entirely true. It's a winter break from dating (though celibate almost a year). Celibacy has given me the opportunity to do a lot of inward and energetic work, above and beyond what I had done in the therapists office and with exH around. Not everyone does this, though. Lots of people languish in their singleness or celibacy.

I also agree with the awakening male eneergy in yourself part too! Aint nobody gonna get on that ladder and fix that ceiling light but me now. lol. I've become quite handy with hammer and power tools. The aggressiveness I got from having a man, well now I got to tap into that myself--being more assertive, less passive, being even more of a go-getter. There's other aspects to this I'm sure.

You do feel more whole if you embrace it and don't run. But it takes a lot of inner work, which many are too afraid to do or are just plain oblivious.

 

[southerncitygirl]

@Smiley79

No harm done girlie, I think you will enjoy it when you have the time to view it.


@BEAUTYU2U
No its not , I was being direct and matter of fact.


swirl & faithVA y'all live in my hometown. i'm from eastern henrico

 

[ambergirl]

Interesting thread.

Even though I've had long stretches in my life when I wasn't sexually active I never considered myself celibate. To me celibacy is a conscious choice to not have sex. That has never been the case with me. I don't want to have sex outside of a serious, loving relationship and so when I'm not in one I don't have sex. And when I am in one I do.

I think the spiritual healing qualities of celibacy vary based on the person and the circumstances. Based on your sexual and relationship history, celibacy may be exactly what you need to get in touch with yourself and your sexuality. However I also think sex itself can be very healing and for some people that's just the kind of healing they need.

But what I like about this vid is even if you are circumstantially celibate you can use that time to reconnect with yourself.

Thanks OP for posting!

 

[tinkat]

I didn't watch her vid yet but I saw this vid in my yt subscriptions. I'm sure she said something I agree with. I know it was impt for me bc it gave time to focus on myself. It wasn't until then that I was able to self reflect truly. It definitely helped my relationship with myself and prepared me for my relationship with SO.

 

[JustifiablyMe]

Umm, my reason is simply that I'm listening to God's command that's layed out in the Bible. I ignored it for years and it never got me anywhere. I've been obeying it for 3+ years now and I can honestly say that I have a cleaner conscience, better health, higher self esteem, less worries and surprisingly, I'm more free for the things that are more important to me. (Sometimes sex sure can keep a person tied up to the wrong person longer than necessary) Now, I'm not tied to any foolishness that sometimes accompanies the "friends with benefits" or crazy dating world.

Yes, I do get lonely, long for companionship, and get hot as Haiti with my sex drive sometimes especially around my time of the month, but its temporary, and the peace of mind I enjoy by obeying and sticking close to God far outweighs the moments of sexual pleasures that a guy can offer me. And although I am not sexually involved, i'm still a passionate and sensual person, very affectionate; since im having sex with a guy, I find myself to be more engaged in really getting to know him in depth, there's this mental clarity that I can't describe. Also, It's amazing the filter work I have been able to do since being celibate. I weed out the men who were strictly booty hunters a lot better than I used to before. On the flip side, I have met some wonderful Men who worked and sweat to really win me despite not being able to sleep with me. Some of these men had genuine desires to get to know me and I didn't have to give a thing in exchange. In most of the cases, it didn't work out for other reasons, but I didnt have to give anything that I couldnt take back. As a matter of fact, with some of them, I developed some fun and interesting friendships that werent awkward or bitter thereafter.

I dont know if it's just me, but I notice especially lately that Men find the Celibacy vow to be a turn on , not sure why, but I get that reaction alot in not so many words; perhaps it's the challenge, perhaps its just something different to them, whatever it is, it's all good. Hopefully, someday soon I will share the goodies again with someone who I will marry. I cant wait because I enjoy coloring very much and that is something that is important to me but until then, no more samples. This shop is closed.

Please excuse if there are a bunch of typos, I sent this on my phone.

Great post.

 

[IWantBSl09]

Umm, my reason is simply that I'm listening to God's command that's layed out in the Bible. I ignored it for years and it never got me anywhere. I've been obeying it for 3+ years now and I can honestly say that I have a cleaner conscience, better health, higher self esteem, less worries and surprisingly, I'm more free for the things that are more important to me. (Sometimes sex sure can keep a person tied up to the wrong person longer than necessary) Now, I'm not tied to any foolishness that sometimes accompanies the "friends with benefits" or crazy dating world.

Yes, I do get lonely, long for companionship, and get hot as Haiti with my sex drive sometimes especially around my time of the month, but its temporary, and the peace of mind I enjoy by obeying and sticking close to God far outweighs the moments of sexual pleasures that a guy can offer me. And although I am not sexually involved, i'm still a passionate and sensual person, very affectionate; since im having sex with a guy, I find myself to be more engaged in really getting to know him in depth, there's this mental clarity that I can't describe. Also, It's amazing the filter work I have been able to do since being celibate. I weed out the men who were strictly booty hunters a lot better than I used to before. On the flip side, I have met some wonderful Men who worked and sweat to really win me despite not being able to sleep with me. Some of these men had genuine desires to get to know me and I didn't have to give a thing in exchange. In most of the cases, it didn't work out for other reasons, but I didnt have to give anything that I couldnt take back. As a matter of fact, with some of them, I developed some fun and interesting friendships that werent awkward or bitter thereafter.

I dont know if it's just me, but I notice especially lately that Men find the Celibacy vow to be a turn on , not sure why, but I get that reaction alot in not so many words; perhaps it's the challenge, perhaps its just something different to them, whatever it is, it's all good. Hopefully, someday soon I will share the goodies again with someone who I will marry. I cant wait because I enjoy coloring very much and that is something that is important to me but until then, no more samples. This shop is closed.

Please excuse if there are a bunch of typos, I sent this on my phone.

You hit the nail on that one. I have been able for the first time in my life, really analyze my life, the choices I made and the regrets I have; I have to learn some hard core sad truths about my self and my life, that I know I couldn't have if I was in a relationship right now. I feel God has me at this point for a reason, I believe He wants to take me higher, and before He can do that, Hr needs me to look at myself and how I am right now. These past two years of celibacy have been extremely eye-opening. I do miss being in a relationship, but I feel this time to myself is necessary. When I'm ready to start dating, I'll be at a better place financially, mentally, spiritually and etc. I'll also admit I love not having to think about someone else, having to make sure my partner got tested for STDs, going on birth control (even though I may go back on it cuz I swear I lost weight on it faster and sugar cravings were less), insecurities about my body, other women, etc, not having to compromise my time. And I know when I'm ready to enter my relationship, I'll be a horny **** LOL... I'm trying to be celibate for another 2 years.... Now that I have a clearer picture of myself, the mistakes I've made and my preferred career path...I just want to focus on those things; making new friends, getting more into my interests and passions, starting my business, getting back into shape, fixing up my financial mess, personal development and etc.