Why am I so bitter?

[shellzfoshizzle]

I dont know why I'm so bitter and dont have a single care in the world other than myself, family, college and working.

Here lately, I just want to go hide under a rock and be wanted like Osama bin Laden.

Here's the deal, my best friend Rebecca has an internship in Myrtle Beach. She's dying for me and our high school clique which is real tight to come visit her but I told her I dont trust my car on the highway for unnecessary trips so if someone drives, I'll ride.

So she calls me and says, "James coordinated a trip and Kevin, Corin, Dawn, Ayanna and da-da-da-da-da are coming down here on June such and such and staying until this day and then James is going to drive back down here at the end of July and stay for the weekend so thats your chance to come..."

I explained to her that those dates are my sister's baby shower and my sister's expected pregnancy dates and thats more important to me. Plus, I'm really tired of her worrying me to come to the beach to visit her. I feel like when I get a dependent car and enough funds to travel to the beach to socialize I will. Those probably sound like a bunch of excuses to her, but my main reason is that hell, I just dont want to go or be bothered.

I just wish people will stop calling me and a lot of times I dont want to answer the phone. I want my friends to say, "...have you talked to Shellzfoshizzle lately?....naw man, I aint heard from her in a minute...."

I dont know whats wrong with me because these are my closest friends but I just dont want to be bothered for a while with them and I'm really bitter to them. They haven't done anything wrong to me at all.

 

[Poohbear]

I sometimes feel like I care more about myself, family, education, and career than hanging with my friends. For instance, I also find myself turning down my friends when they want to go somewhere and instead I would hang out with my family. I also don't want to be bothered with at times. I wouldn't say that it's bitterness, but more like having certain priorities as far as how to spend your time and what you feel most comfortable with doing.

Bitterness comes into play when we have been cheated or wronged by someone. As you probably already know, life can deal us some bad situations. We do not have to remain bitter and we can remove bitterness from our lives by honestly expressing our feelings to God, forgiving those who have wronged us, and being content with what we have.

In your case, it seems like there is no bitterness involved. HTH!

 

[shellzfoshizzle]

Yes Poohbear, it helped a little. I do more often find myself just wanting to do other things than be around my friends or social events. So it's not bitterness, just prioritizing, I guess.

 

[ThickHair]

It just sounds like you are outgrowing your friends. There is nothing wrong with that.

 

[Vintagecoilylocks]

Maybe the bitterness you feel is really toward yourself for not being honest with your friends or trusting they will understand you. Tell them nicely the truth. If they are your friends they will accept it and go on with plans. Then you will not be wishing they were all asking about you with questions. They will go on and let you have your space from them.

 

[TrustMeLove]

I go through this same thing very often. Its nothing personal..sometimes we just need time to ourselves..we don't want to be bothered with everyone. I tell my friends its just hard to be around folks 24/7 its nothing personal, but sometimes Im a loner and I just need to be by myself..Im going through that right now..I don't think my friends like it right now pretty mucha nd some are acting shady because they want my company..but I can't give it right now..Im barely making it through school, work, finances, another addition like idle unnecessary talk isn't something I can take right now.

-trust

 

[shellzfoshizzle]

..Im barely making it through school, work, finances, another addition like idle unnecessary talk isn't something I can take right now.

-trust

You hit the nail on the head! I am actually in the same boat...barely making it thru school, workin 2 jobs, family issues, money, tryin to do summer school, ...u are so right, idle unncessary talk isn't something I want right now.

Thanks EVERYONE for advice. I think I just wanna "do me" for a while and it's not bitterness. Thanks ya'll.