White people and long hair. What do u think?

[curlcomplexity]

I personally did not find her comments offensive at all. I have shoulder length hair and I was not offended at all. But, at the same time, I am used to the mindset that many people on this board possess compared to "everyone else" in the world. Sometimes, it is better - sometimes it is not. So I just hear other's opinions and take them with a grain of salt. But if you post on a forum, you are most likely going to get a response and it may not be always what you like.

My hair means a lot to me and I STILL think some on the board take hair and hair length a little too seriously. I know this may be like cursing on this board - but I do still feel like "it's just hair". Maybe because I don't think it is some incredible feat for us or anyone else to have long hair, styles that we like, hair that blows in the wind, shiny hair, etc, etc etc.

It just is not that serious. But, still I was not offended by BH's post. It is how she felt and she shared with us, something I appreciate about our forum. But, by posting here we all still open ourselves up to hear other's viewpoints, as well. I don't think there are any hard feelings around this post, though. Right ladies?

ITA w/ you HoneyDew! It really isn't that serious, and it is just hair!

 

[spiceykitten]

I personally did not find her comments offensive at all. I have shoulder length hair and I was not offended at all. But, at the same time, I am used to the mindset that many people on this board possess compared to "everyone else" in the world. Sometimes, it is better - sometimes it is not. So I just hear other's opinions and take them with a grain of salt. But if you post on a forum, you are most likely going to get a response and it may not be always what you like.

My hair means a lot to me and I STILL think some on the board take hair and hair length a little too seriously. I know this may be like cursing on this board - but I do still feel like "it's just hair". Maybe because I don't think it is some incredible feat for us or anyone else to have long hair, styles that we like, hair that blows in the wind, shiny hair, etc, etc etc.

It just is not that serious. But, still I was not offended by BH's post. It is how she felt and she shared with us, something I appreciate about our forum. But, by posting here we all still open ourselves up to hear other's viewpoints, as well. I don't think there are any hard feelings around this post, though. Right ladies?

Exactly!

 

[keandra]

I live around alot of white people and I do think thier perception of hair is WAAAAAY different than ours and I do think that they don't expect to see Black Women with long hair. I always hear the comment "Are you mixed with something?" Why can't I be black with long hair? What's the problem I always wonder...

About the Derm. I think you might have be senstive because you were already upset about the scalp issues but I do say also he would NOT have said that to a white woman he would expect it. (if you catch my drift) This problem that we deal with in our society is really something silly but oh so true. For some odd reason black women are the major consumers of make up and hair products did you all know that? We spend on average 2-4hours looking at ourselves primping and making sure we look good for others, NEVER ourselves. This problem with the self awareness and love for self needs really to be encouraged and I really think at LHCF we can have that, we need it. Black women also need to feel like they are beautiful and need to hear it sometimes too so anyone who reads this know that you are beautiful today sweetie and if don't NOBODY else tell you then you heard it from me.
Keandra

 

[Vshanell]

I do think they have a different perception but I have found just the opposite, i.e. what I was calling long, they referred to as short or medium.

IDK about the derm-Sans tone and facial expression, his comment sounded harmless to me. You do have long hair.

I've experienced the opposite as well. I work with a white girl that probably has below waist-length hair and she said that girl on American Idol's hair was short (I can't remember her name but she's the light complexion black girl with the curly natural hair......I think her name is Jordan or something). Anyway her hair was probably below apl w/ shrinkage in the pic we were looking at so you know when it was stretched out it was really long. I told her that and she was like, "I know but I just think that length is short". I was like okayyyy. Then she tells me that when she got her hair cut awhile back, probably to below bsl, she thought she looked like a boy.

I was just shocked the whole time thinking she must think I'm bald-headed with all my shrinkage.

 

[brickhouse]

I personally did not find her comments offensive at all. I have shoulder length hair and I was not offended at all. But, at the same time, I am used to the mindset that many people on this board possess compared to "everyone else" in the world. Sometimes, it is better - sometimes it is not. So I just hear other's opinions and take them with a grain of salt. But if you post on a forum, you are most likely going to get a response and it may not be always what you like.

My hair means a lot to me and I STILL think some on the board take hair and hair length a little too seriously. I know this may be like cursing on this board - but I do still feel like "it's just hair". Maybe because I don't think it is some incredible feat for us or anyone else to have long hair, styles that we like, hair that blows in the wind, shiny hair, etc, etc etc.

It just is not that serious. But, still I was not offended by BH's post. It is how she felt and she shared with us, something I appreciate about our forum. But, by posting here we all still open ourselves up to hear other's viewpoints, as well. I don't think there are any hard feelings around this post, though. Right ladies?

You are right no hard feelings. I was just disturbed because I don't know how my co-worker telling me she had very long hair and it was shoulder length would put someone else down. That was probably very long for her. Why can't we say shoulder length is long as well. I was just curious about the different perceptions other races have about hair compared to ours.

 

[Junonia]

When I was younger, I thought all whites had thick, waist length hair(SHampoo commercials). However once I started working around them, I notice most may average between aPL and Bsl. My co-workers would compliment me all the time on my hair. At that time my hair was just past SL and full.

That particular women might thinks her hair is long as she may only keeps it at nape length. SL is probably short to those who has always had very long hair. SL may be long to someone has has never been able to past temple length. It's all about perception.

I agree with others regarding the sensitivity towards the BSL comment. When whites complimented my hair, I used to think " what black women can't have nice hair". Now I look back at pictures and realize my hair really was nice looking. the derm has seen all kind of hair problems that would make us cringe and you may have had best head of hair he has seen in a long time. However, I don't like the rest of his comment.

 

[brickhouse]

When I was younger, I thought all whites had thick, waist length hair(SHampoo commercials). However once I started working around them, I notice most may average between aPL and Bsl. My co-workers would compliment me all the time on my hair. At that time my hair was just past SL and full.

That particular women might thinks her hair is long as she may only keeps it at nape length. SL is probably short to those who has always had very long hair. SL may be long to someone has has never been able to past temple length. It's all about perception.

I agree with others regarding the sensitivity towards the BSL comment. When whites complimented my hair, I used to think " what black women can't have nice hair". Now I look back at pictures and realize my hair really was nice looking. the derm has seen all kind of hair problems that would make us cringe and you may have had best head of hair he has seen in a long time. However, I don't like the rest of his comment.

My SO could not understand why I was offended either. I was worried about my scalp and I just had gotten over impetigo. Don't even know where that came from and my scalp was itching like nobody's business and for him to actually tell me my problems were in my mind I guess kind of made me overreact. I will be going to Atl to find a new Derm because I still suffer from seborrheic derm.

 

[Poli]

I personally did not find her comments offensive at all. I have shoulder length hair and I was not offended at all. But, at the same time, I am used to the mindset that many people on this board possess compared to "everyone else" in the world. Sometimes, it is better - sometimes it is not. So I just hear other's opinions and take them with a grain of salt. But if you post on a forum, you are most likely going to get a response and it may not be always what you like.

My hair means a lot to me and I STILL think some on the board take hair and hair length a little too seriously. I know this may be like cursing on this board - but I do still feel like "it's just hair". Maybe because I don't think it is some incredible feat for us or anyone else to have long hair, styles that we like, hair that blows in the wind, shiny hair, etc, etc etc.

It just is not that serious. But, still I was not offended by BH's post. It is how she felt and she shared with us, something I appreciate about our forum. But, by posting here we all still open ourselves up to hear other's viewpoints, as well. I don't think there are any hard feelings around this post, though. Right ladies?

GREAT POST

 

[soonergirl]

Good luck finding a new doctor brickhouse!!!

 

[brickhouse]

Good luck finding a new doctor brickhouse!!!

Thank you. There was a post on the skin forum about Derms in Atl. I am going to check them out. I was going to Atl originally and then decided that I would at least give the locals a try but it did not work.

 

[Nightingale]

Maybe she meant long as in longer than her intended style. One of my [white] girlfriendshas been saying how long her hair has gotten (neck length bob to shoulder length) and wants it cut again.

 

[hothair]

Girl I live in Queens...right in the middle of the Indians. I guess that's why I never really consider my hair to be really long. I just blend right in with them.

Op... I guess it's relative cause I've never heard anyone from any other race consider shoulder length to be 'pretty long'. But that's just the people who I run into.

ITA. OP- I get what you were trying to say. I also agree with Energee that usually most of the ladies with an average of bsl + hair I see are Asian (Indian) and Middle Eastern. Infact a couple of my caucasian friends rock weaves to get their hair brastrap or waistlength. I think in most cultures anything from about almost APL is considered medium-long hair...

ETA: I'm not EVEN shoulder length and I think shoulder length is short by any description or cultural basis you will not see me at the BSS buying a long weave that's shoulder length

 

[Blossssom]

I think you misunderstood what I was trying to say. I didn't say passed shoulders was short. I said my co-worker said she had pretty long hair so I was expecting waist length.

I just don't feel like the derm would have made that comment to a white woman.

I know what you're saying, Brick...

Long hair to me is at least somewhere around mid-back.

Shoulder length hair? I'm not even going any further with this because folks will be hurt, but that's funny the honkie ***** thought her hair was long!

I would have laughed in her face! LOL!

 

[JustKiya]

One of my white co-workers said to me yesterday that she wanted to get her hair cut in a style, so I ask her how long it was because it was pinned up on top of her hair. She says it pretty long and took it down. I almost fell out when her hair was barely touching her shoulders. It was right past neck length. I was shocked because I am at brastrap. Do you think they have a different perception of what long hair is compared to us? I went to a white dermatologist for my scalp problem a month ago and when he pulled out a strand he says you sure have some long hair. I should have asked him if he has never seen long hair on a black woman before. I won't be going back to him. I thought that was an ignorant comment. I betcha he would not have said that to a white woman.

I suspect that your white coworker meant it was long for HER. By saying that her hair was long, she wasn't saying (or implying) that your hair wasn't even longer - she wasn't even talking about your hair. So - I suspect her normal style is much shorter - and just the fact that she CAN pin her hair up makes it long - for her. Taking a single persons statement and extrapolating an entires race's attitude from that is - well, pointless. Just cuz one white girl thinks shoulder length hair is 'long' doesn't mean all white girls think shoulder length hair is long, or even that other white girls would think her hair was long - they might look at her like she was crazy too.

As far as the derm goes - I think, being a dermotologist, he's used to some MESSED up heads of hair - thinning, damaged, broken off - and yes, especially from the black clientele he might see - think of some of your not as hair aware sistas and image what might be going on with their head to send them to the derm - and compare that to YOUR gorgeous, long head of hair. Heck, yeah, he commented that your hair was long, but I suspect he meant it as a compliement - not a put down.... I mean, your hair IS long. And is his position - he most likely doesn't see a lot of that - esp. on black women. That's the truth......and there's nothing to be insulted in by the truth.

But that's me.....

 

[RubyWoo]

As far as the derm goes - I think, being a dermotologist, he's used to some MESSED up heads of hair - thinning, damaged, broken off - and yes, especially from the black clientele he might see - think of some of your not as hair aware sistas and image what might be going on with their head to send them to the derm - and compare that to YOUR gorgeous, long head of hair. Heck, yeah, he commented that your hair was long, but I suspect he meant it as a compliement - not a put down.... I mean, your hair IS long. And is his position - he most likely doesn't see a lot of that - esp. on black women. That's the truth......and there's nothing to be insulted in by the truth.

I agree with this! I also agree with Honeydew.

I can understand why you would've been put off by the Dermatologists comment regarding the length of your hair. However, it's really hard to tell what his intentions were. Also, seeing black women with BSL hair is not common where I'm at and maybe he's not used to seeing it either so maybe he was a little surprised. I don't see anything wrong with that. It's not like he implied it was impossible for black women to grow or have long hair; although I'd be lying if say I didn't think the same at one point(as well as other black people) before coming to this forum. The fact is alot(not all) of us weren't raised on how to properly take care of our hair and seeing long healthy bsl hair on a black woman isn't all that common. At least not where I'm at. I know as haircare continues to progress, that will change.

Anyhow, I would've been more offended by the last comment he made regarding him thinking the problem was in your head. That wasn't very professional at all.

 

[aloof one]

One of my white co-workers said to me yesterday that she wanted to get her hair cut in a style, so I ask her how long it was because it was pinned up on top of her hair. She says it pretty long and took it down. I almost fell out when her hair was barely touching her shoulders. It was right past neck length. I was shocked because I am at brastrap. Do you think they have a different perception of what long hair is compared to us? I went to a white dermatologist for my scalp problem a month ago and when he pulled out a strand he says you sure have some long hair. I should have asked him if he has never seen long hair on a black woman before. I won't be going back to him. I thought that was an ignorant comment. I betcha he would not have said that to a white woman.

I don't get why you're offended. The guy gave you a compliment. He's a dermatologist- the guy probably has to sit through seeing male pattern baldness, alopecia, dandruff, chewed up ends, and straight up baldies from 9 to 5. He probably was relieved to see someone who had long hair. BSL IS long. APL is long. In fact, anything past shoulder length is long for most people, black, brown, yellow or white.

Now, that doesn't mean that long hair isnt relative for most people in their own opinions- she's probably never had longer hair than her shoulders. Just because she's white (and whoever called her a honkey is just wrong, i hope you were kidding) doesn't mean she has no hair problems. When my hair finally got past my chin I thought it was long! Let the girl dream, lol. Im sure there are plenty of girls on this site who have never been shoulder length, and when they got there they were swingin and smilin and actually referring to their hair as long for the first time in their life, or a long time.

 

[bravenewgirl87]

For the upwardly mobile white woman, long hair is a "no-no". Its something left for fairy tales, nerds, asiaphilic men and country bumpkins. Chic, european pixies and bobs are always in style because they are low maintainance and they draw attention to your face. I don't even think white males care that much about hair length, as long as its touchable. Black people are really the only race that makes a big deal about long hair because we don't believe its possible to have long hair. I also find that when we measure our selves up against whites, especially where beauty and hair is concerned, we don't think of the "modern" white woman. Our image is of the ethereal, pre-90s days. Now, white women are not checking for all that hair. Thats probably why they think we are weird for loving weaves so much.