Where The Boys Are?

Glib Gurl

Glib Gurl

Well-Known Member
Hey Ladies -

Where, in your opinion, are the best places to meet single, eligible, straight men?

The obvious ones I can think of are...
- sports bar
- night club
- golf course
- hardware store
- grocery store

I know there are lots of other places...but my brain is stuck!
 
Actually this question is somewhat different! I'm not so much interested in where people met their spouses/boo's specifically. But just generally - WHERE TO GO TO MEET GUYS :) I am part of a small group of women who are actively working on meeting our mates and when it comes to listing different places to go we just get stumped! *lol*

Good to see you all :)
 
I think it depends on just what type of "boy" you want lol... :giggle:

I always encourage my girlfriends to get some new hobbies or get really involved in interests that they are personally interested in. Ones that happen to be things men can be involved in as well. :yep: One of my friends LOVED to do rock climbing, and so she would go regularly w/a group of friends. Would you know it, she ended up meeting her future husband! :grinwink: So find some things you really like to do and join some classes/groups/hangouts and then that way not only can you meet a guy, but you meet a guy who already has something in common with you! :grinwink:


faithVA said:
If your city actually has pro sports teams, there are plenty of men at football and basketball events. If there is tailgating there will be guys there and a good time to meet people.
Click to expand...

I was going to mention this too actually. You and your single girl friends should go to a baseball game, basketball game, or football game. Girl, you will be SURPRISED at how many guys (single guys) attend those events together!!! It's a great place to meet men because most patrons WILL be men lol, and when you're all involved in watching a game together, instant flowing conversation can ensue. It's a lot more relaxed setting than meeting at a bar imo where you're almost knowing from jump what a guy is trying to do.
 
if i want to meet a guy i go to a bar. some are better than others, particularly if you are a black woman - with consideration to the neighborhood and the demographics etc. so i have some bars i know i almost always meet a guy at and some that are more experimental. you cant just pick any ol' bar.

i have had varying levels of success with guys i meet at bars. tbh i tend to have longer relationships with them than guys i meet online, and i think a lot of that has to do with the negative side of seeing someones pictures without having met them first.
 
street fests are also a good idea, particularly in summer. outdoor concerts are good too

also even if you dont go to sports events (which i think has a large potential to be a miss rather than a hit, to be at the event itself) there are usually bars surrounding the stadium where men go to watch. that's a better alternative imo.

venues where there is live music

i dont like to meet men or for people to approach me when im out and about my daily life. so i mainly think of social locations that have the best likelihood of me running across someone id like. instead of thinking of actual places, maybe you could try thinking of how to make the known, obvious places work more efficiently for you.
 
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Can someone please give tips on where to meet intelligent men? I meet a lot of men with degrees/good jobs but it is rare to meet someone that is well read, intellectually curious, and that can really discuss topics on a deeper level.

I'm noticing that my relationships lose their luster when they stop being mentally stimulating... One thing about my ex dh that I loved and respected was how we could talk endlessly about different subjects and he could go toe to toe with me because he not only read about ****, he could actually speak in depth about it....he never stopped learning either. Where are the intellectual brothers at???:cry3:
 
You can meet men anywhere, Glib. I know people who've met their spouses at work, church, a bar, a house party, the grocery store, and (literally) while walking down the street (and yes, all of these people are still married and happily so- and have been so for a minimum of 10 years). Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you shouldn't make an effort to seek out quality men, but I am saying that job #1 is seeing who's seeing you (and if you only do this in areas where you expect to meet men, you could be missing cues from potential suitors). That having been said, you need place yourself in places and situations that land you in the company of quality men with whom you share common interests. If there's a hobby or interest you've always been curious about, now is the time to pursue it. If you have an existing hobby or interest, but haven't been actively pursuing it, now is the time. And, while there's nothing wrong with trying something new in the hopes of meeting a new person, just make sure you don't do something to get a man that you have no intentions of doing to keep him.
 
I meet a bunch of men at political events or community economic partnership events. Chances are your city has an economic group that crosses different industry sectors. Companies large and small send reps to the meetings and mixers. So you'll meet a good mix of eligible bachelors of all ages who are business men.

Same thing with the political events. Look at the your city council or state reps and for the black ones subscribe to their newsletters. It will tell you about holiday parties or events in that district. A black elected official usually has a large support group of black professionals who attend their events.

Other ways I've met eligible men is through 2 good friends of mine who belong to different fraternities and they are active in their alumni chapters. So they have friends who are from the city but also men who are new to the city tend to get involved in the fraternity as a way to meet people and know the community. So when I go to cookouts or holiday parties, tailgates etc I meet a least one new single houstonian who is a professional with a good job.
 
I think it's one thing to 'meet' men, it's another to actually catch the attention of the type of man you like. I am a firm believer in doing stuff you love and having fun. If you are relaxed and taking care of yourself, doing your own thing the men will come, because there are men everywhere. If the sole focus is to attract a man, men can smell thirst a mile off and find it off putting. Even if you don't meet the right man, at least you would be having fun. Life is too short not to live it to the full.

Trying to figure out how to tell the above more directly to a good friend of mine. She just broke up with her emotionally abusive baby daddy last year and has had several unsuccessful stints at online dating. She is looking for a white guy by force, they are not into her - she's mixed race so I think it's a psychological "trying to get acceptance" issue. She just sent me a message asking to introduce her to a black man I mentioned half a year ago, because the white guys frustrate her. I'm not even a man and I find her thirsty. I have hinted in the past, but I think I need to go beyond hinting now. She needs good counselling.
 
Join organizations that you're interested in. For instance, political and civic organizations are great places to meet nice, cultured men (or so my single friends tell me).
 
Crystalicequeen123 said:
I think it depends on just what type of "boy" you want lol... :giggle:

I always encourage my girlfriends to get some new hobbies or get really involved in interests that they are personally interested in. Ones that happen to be things men can be involved in as well. :yep: One of my friends LOVED to do rock climbing, and so she would go regularly w/a group of friends. Would you know it, she ended up meeting her future husband! :grinwink: So find some things you really like to do and join some classes/groups/hangouts and then that way not only can you meet a guy, but you meet a guy who already has something in common with you! :grinwink:
Click to expand...

Was this indoor rock climbing? I fell in love with it a few years ago. I need to go more often because there are some really friendly guys in the climbing gym.
 
Glib Gurl said:
Hey Ladies -

Where, in your opinion, are the best places to meet single, eligible, straight men?

The obvious ones I can think of are...
- sports bar
- night club
- golf course
- hardware store
- grocery store

I know there are lots of other places...but my brain is stuck!
Click to expand...
Where are you located? Are you in or near major city? Frat events ALWAYS yield a large return for me, and they always have cook outs and parties during the summer (and they aren't just in urban centers either, grad chapters are all over the place). Hip-hop tailored events as well. There is a salute to J Dilla party happening this weekend in DC , and I'm sure there will be plenty of men, but I don't want to shell out 40 bucks. I've also stumbled upon some charity events sponsored by 100 Black men and similar orgs.
 
sgold04 said:
Where are you located? Are you in or near major city? Frat events ALWAYS yield a large return for me, and they always have cook outs and parties during the summer (and they aren't just in urban centers either, grad chapters are all over the place). Hip-hop tailored events as well. There is a salute to J Dilla party happening this weekend in DC , and I'm sure there will be plenty of men, but I don't want to shell out 40 bucks. I've also stumbled upon some charity events sponsored by 100 Black men and similar orgs.
Click to expand...
There was a free panel about him, or it might be tonight (Thursday) as part of millennium stage at the Kennedy Center. I think it's tonight and I can't make it. Musiq and others are on the panel iirc.
 
prettyinpurple said:
There was a free panel about him, or it might be tonight (Thursday) as part of millennium stage at the Kennedy Center. I think it's tonight and I can't make it. Musiq and others are on the panel iirc.
Click to expand...
Yeah it's tonight (Thurs). I'm debating if I should go, I live out in St. Charles county, about 60/40, leaning towards going
 
Glib you should've BEEN married with 2.5 kids by now!!! Nooooo!!! I thought this was an old thread!

:p Just messin' with you. Here's my input: join meetup groups. Get the meetup app, find groups that interest you and men will be there.
 
sgold04 said:
Yeah it's tonight (Thurs). I'm debating if I should go, I live out in St. Charles county, about 60/40, leaning towards going
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Oh well yea that is a different story if you live out there lol.

Millenium Stage has cool stuff but it's hard for me to be anywhere by 6pm on a work day.
 
tallnomad said:
Was this indoor rock climbing? I fell in love with it a few years ago. I need to go more often because there are some really friendly guys in the climbing gym.
Click to expand...

Actually she would do both! Indoor and outdoor. :yep: I think she met her bf on the outdoor hikes and rock climbing events though. She would go w/a group of new friends she met who all liked to rock climb, and she met her hubby through them. He would come regularly and they just hit it off!


ajoke said:
I think it's one thing to 'meet' men, it's another to actually catch the attention of the type of man you like.
Click to expand...

Girl....isn't that the truth.... :ohwell: That's why I've given up the "search". :look:

I am a firm believer in doing stuff you love and having fun. If you are relaxed and taking care of yourself, doing your own thing the men will come, because there are men everywhere. If the sole focus is to attract a man, men can smell thirst a mile off and find it off putting. Even if you don't meet the right man, at least you would be having fun. Life is too short not to live it to the full.
Click to expand...

I completely agree with this. :yep: Idk how to NOT come off as "thirsty", so my big goal is just NOT being thirsty lol. :lol: It seems men can sense it a mile away even if you're trying NOT to come off that way, so I figure, why even try?? Idk if I've reached that "point" yet, but I do feel a LOT different now as opposed to back when I was trying hard to meet/find somebody. I think I've just found peace in my heart that it iwll come when it comes. #shrug

Trying to figure out how to tell the above more directly to a good friend of mine. She just broke up with her emotionally abusive baby daddy last year and has had several unsuccessful stints at online dating. She is looking for a white guy by force, they are not into her - she's mixed race so I think it's a psychological "trying to get acceptance" issue. She just sent me a message asking to introduce her to a black man I mentioned half a year ago, because the white guys frustrate her. I'm not even a man and I find her thirsty. I have hinted in the past, but I think I need to go beyond hinting now. She needs good counselling.
Click to expand...
Wait.....she deliberately seeks out white guys online? :look: Or she just rejects all guys who try to talk to her who aren't white?? :rolleyes: I don't get it. I've never done online dating, but how do you look for guys by force on there? I thought you just put your picture up and people either like you or they don't. :look:


MuziqizLyfe said:
Can someone please give tips on where to meet intelligent men? I meet a lot of men with degrees/good jobs but it is rare to meet someone that is well read, intellectually curious, and that can really discuss topics on a deeper level.

Where are the intellectual brothers at???:cry3:
Click to expand...

Mmmm......maybe bookstores?? :look: Universities and college campuses?? lol.. Idk... What do you mean by "intelligent"? You mean a guy who cares about deeper things and can have deep conversations? Even sports-watching dudes can be like that. I think you just have to talk with more guys and guage whether or not they mentally stimulate you or not. :yep:
 
Crystalicequeen123 said:
Actually she would do both! Indoor and outdoor. :yep: I think she met her bf on the outdoor hikes and rock climbing events though. She would go w/a group of new friends she met who all liked to rock climb, and she met her hubby through them. He would come regularly and they just hit it off!
Click to expand...

I'm deathly afraid of even trying outdoor rock climbing. Maybe I should though, cause I might meet my husband by clinging onto him for dear life out on some real rocks.
 
tallnomad said:
I'm deathly afraid of even trying outdoor rock climbing. Maybe I should though, cause I might meet my husband by clinging onto him for dear life out on some real rocks.
Click to expand...

THAT'S the spirit!!! :lachen: :up: We need to get out of our comfort zone ladies! :yay:

Plus, I've heard that when a man and a woman engage in some type of near-death experience together (even just going on rollercoasters together), it increases the attraction that they feel for each other. Even if you two are just "buddies" or just met....for some reason that "excitement" of adrenaline rush gets transferred into sexual attraction.

I want my first date to be at an amusement park lol :giggle: ....:hide: It's SO much more fun than the typical dinner and a movie thing... :rolleyes: It's exciting,and you naturally talk and are more yourself. :yep:


MuziqizLyfe said:
@Crystalicequeen123 basically I think I'm going for an all out nerd next time :lol: it's not necessarily "deep" convos I'm looking for...most men can go there...it's more about what those deep thoughts actually contain. And actually I did think about the bookstore :giggle: My daughter suggested the comic book store :lol:
Click to expand...

Good idea!! (comic book store) I say go where you have an interest. If you're into comics, go to comic-con events or comic book stores! If you like to read books, go to a bookstore! If you're really into the spiritual side of things, go to places of worship, christianmingle.com, or church events to look for men who share your same mindset. :yep:

I think the key is to get out and DO things...especially things you LIKE to do. I think people in general come off as more happy and carefree when they are genuinely interested in what they are doing.
 
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