When your hair grew from neck length to shoulders

K

keylargo

Active Member
During that time, did you extend relaxer touch-ups beyond 6 weeks? I ask because I believe many of you did not start stretching your relaxers until your hair was shoulder length and beyond.

I think it's easier for longer haired ladies to stretch relaxers then it is for shorter haired ladies. Do you think that length matters? I"m wondering if the two textures are more pronounced when you hair is shorter.... so it may require more frequent touch-ups on 4a/b hair until the hair is longer.

What are your thoughts about this?
 
I did, but I don't count because before the board I would relax/texturze 2-3 times a year. When I joined the board I decreased time between touchups to every 12 weeks.
 
I stretched before shoulderlength, but I agree that its harder because often stretching involves protective styles, and you dont have as many easy protective styling options with shorter hair. But I think its worth the wait, even if its only for two weeks longer than youd normally go. Every little bit helps.
wink.gif
 
On 4/22/04 my hair was 4-5 inches long and I have not relaxed my hair since. I was aiming for 12 weeks, hoping to get a touch up on 7/15/04. Tracy is right, it does involve protective styles. I have been wearing my hair in a phony pony since week 2. One thing that has helped me to blend my new growth is my semi-weekly conditioner-wash. Also, using good moisturizers and tying my hair down at night. I only comb my hair when it is wet, it helps with breakage and the hair stays down better in the ponytail. If your hair is shorter than mine was, you can try the wet and go look . . . ? My main reason for stretching out my relaxer is because I want my hairline and edges to recover from damage without adding stress to it. HTH
 
I was neck length when I found the forum and that's when I started waiting twelve weeks. It was NOT easy. The only way I could style my hair was by washing it daily and since I didn't have enough hair for a bun, I always pinned it up. So I agree with you, as my hair gets longer, it does seem as if it is easier to stretch my relaxers out. Washing 2-3 times a week as opposed to daily has made it alot easier for me.
 
My last relaxer was 5/1 at that time I was about 2 inches below the neck. I have been experimenting with various styles. I think you have to be creative. I have done braid-outs...made a curly fro with perm rods and now I am wearing a bun using DSD's method. Im finding out that it can be done. I usually relax at 6 weeks on the dot and I am at 9 hoping for 12 and it really feels possible.

I alternate btwn con washes and washing with poo but I make sure to do some kind of wash every 2 days...I think at this point I need the water to soften the roots. I don't comb all the way down to the roots when my hair is dry...I just part it with end of my rat tail comb and surge it, moisturize and style it.
 
I was able to wait 12 weeks for a touch up. I have between ear and neck lenght hair and what helped me was CO washes every day and either rollersetting while wet or phony buns and phonytails. It can be done.
 
I agree that protective styles are key. And I also believe that it gets easier as the hair gets longer. But I have another thing that I think, too, and I know that this was true for me. I had to let go of the notion that I could only look good if my hair was down and flowing. When I was in college, I was at the salon weekly. My hair had to be down or I did not feel pretty. I was so useless about styling my own hair that I would throw on a baseball cap in between salon visits. Getting to class and studying were more important than looking cute. After college and getting a job, well, the baseball cap didn't fly, so I started doing a french twist and ponytails. I had below neck-length hair then. My job hours were not conducive to hitting the salon every week, so I started going only when I wanted to get a touch-up, which was every eight weeks. I have always waited 8 weeks. For me, longer than that is stretching the relaxer, shorter than that is pushing it and asking for damage. My hair grew to my shoulders during this period and was healthy. I live in protective styles and I have always had shoulder-length hair (thanks to heat styling, not protecting my ends like I should, and scissor-happy you-know-whos). Now my hair is to my shoulder blades and I still live in them. It was even longer before my last touch-up, but I had to cut my ends. Since coming to this board, I have learned the importance of taking care of them.

If and when I get to bra-strap or mid-back, I will still live in protective styles. I love my hair blowing in the wind for one day, and then, I just can't take the fuss. Up it goes, into its bun. Well, I am a little long-winded here, but what I wanted to say is that you should not make your hair the focus (especially when you are trying to grow it out longer). Wear a bun or twist and put on some pretty earrings, a nice outfit, a little make-up, whatever it is you do, and work it. The hair does not have to be the total look, it's just part of it. I think it is hard to stretch out a relaxer sometimes, because the hair becomes so much a part of how we feel about our look. I have learned to lighten up about this and it helps with stretching relaxers, protective styles, etc. And the tips on this board have made it so much easier for me to deal with my new growth, that I might even try to go to 12 or 14 weeks this time. I am nervous and excited and telling myself what I just told you guys. So, I am not just blowing hot air.
smile.gif
 
I did/do. (I'm still not a true "shoulder length" because it's not even all the way around.) I stretched as far as 12 weeks. At this time, I give in when my hair tells me to. Sometimes, the stretch was doing me more harm than good. Braids are a good protective style when hair is shorter.
 
Re: When your hair grew from neck length to shoul

Hello ladies!

My relaxer times are always very few throughout the year. My last one was 5/22/2004, the night before my sister's wedding. My next one will be when I can no longer get my fingers through my hair - that's when I know it's time to relax. Currently my hair is about 5-6 inches past shoulders, and to help its growth I usually were it up.
 
[ QUOTE ]
ubavka123 said:
I agree that protective styles are key. And I also believe that it gets easier as the hair gets longer. But I have another thing that I think, too, and I know that this was true for me. I had to let go of the notion that I could only look good if my hair was down and flowing. When I was in college, I was at the salon weekly. My hair had to be down or I did not feel pretty. I was so useless about styling my own hair that I would throw on a baseball cap in between salon visits. Getting to class and studying were more important than looking cute. After college and getting a job, well, the baseball cap didn't fly, so I started doing a french twist and ponytails. I had below neck-length hair then. My job hours were not conducive to hitting the salon every week, so I started going only when I wanted to get a touch-up, which was every eight weeks. I have always waited 8 weeks. For me, longer than that is stretching the relaxer, shorter than that is pushing it and asking for damage. My hair grew to my shoulders during this period and was healthy. I live in protective styles and I have always had shoulder-length hair (thanks to heat styling, not protecting my ends like I should, and scissor-happy you-know-whos). Now my hair is to my shoulder blades and I still live in them. It was even longer before my last touch-up, but I had to cut my ends. Since coming to this board, I have learned the importance of taking care of them.

If and when I get to bra-strap or mid-back, I will still live in protective styles. I love my hair blowing in the wind for one day, and then, I just can't take the fuss. Up it goes, into its bun. Well, I am a little long-winded here, but what I wanted to say is that you should not make your hair the focus (especially when you are trying to grow it out longer). Wear a bun or twist and put on some pretty earrings, a nice outfit, a little make-up, whatever it is you do, and work it. The hair does not have to be the total look, it's just part of it. I think it is hard to stretch out a relaxer sometimes, because the hair becomes so much a part of how we feel about our look. I have learned to lighten up about this and it helps with stretching relaxers, protective styles, etc. And the tips on this board have made it so much easier for me to deal with my new growth, that I might even try to go to 12 or 14 weeks this time. I am nervous and excited and telling myself what I just told you guys. So, I am not just blowing hot air.
smile.gif


[/ QUOTE ]

Thanks for sharing. You've given me some motivation
smile.gif
 
Thanks ladies for responding. I"m just hoping that I'm not doing more harm then good by trying to extend my touch-ups. I am combing less and that has helped. I try to only comb my hair when it's wet.
 
Re: When your hair grew from neck length to should

I found stretching out my relaxers caused increased breakage. So I mark in my calender the six week mark and make the final decision to schedule a touch-up based on what my hair is doing at the time.
 
Re: When your hair grew from neck length to should

ubavka, good point! Im trying to get out of that mindset too, that my hair has to be down or I look a mess. Usually it has to at least be half down. But buns and twists are starting to grow on me. You are right, u can accessorize and throw on some makeup and still look pulled together, especially if your hair is clean and shiny. Im slowly working my way up to protective styles at least half the time!
wink.gif
 
try not even having enough hair to attach a ponytail and stretching! I did it, and my only regret was if I had it to do again I would have just went natural when I went over 5 months without one. Also after about 4 months if I went more than a week without taking it down, it started to get big nots(matting) in it.

I just had what I could to get all my hair up and then attached a phony pony. that was my hair style for about a year! I couldnt have done it without the ponytail. I still rarely ever blow dried it except occasionally to see how it was coming along because using a blow dryer on hair that is mostly natural with a little bit of relaxed ends=hair all over the place afterwards!

All I did was take it down weekly and wash and condition and I put it back up wet, tied it down with a scarf and it dried pretty straight.

So I would suggest either a phony pony or braids but I like the pony better bc I could get to my real hair whenever needed.
 
[ QUOTE ]
Eclipse said:
I was neck length when I found the forum and that's when I started waiting twelve weeks. It was NOT easy. The only way I could style my hair was by washing it daily and since I didn't have enough hair for a bun, I always pinned it up. So I agree with you, as my hair gets longer, it does seem as if it is easier to stretch my relaxers out. Washing 2-3 times a week as opposed to daily has made it alot easier for me.

[/ QUOTE ]

I dont see you posting alot but i luv checking out your progress in your album. Your Album and DSD's are two of the best albums that really show progress when starting from a shorter length
smile.gif
anyone starting out with shorter hair that really wants to see someone as they gain length should check out their albums. Very inspirational
smile.gif
-- jainygirl
 
[ QUOTE ]
jainygirl said:
[ QUOTE ]
Eclipse said:
I was neck length when I found the forum and that's when I started waiting twelve weeks. It was NOT easy. The only way I could style my hair was by washing it daily and since I didn't have enough hair for a bun, I always pinned it up. So I agree with you, as my hair gets longer, it does seem as if it is easier to stretch my relaxers out. Washing 2-3 times a week as opposed to daily has made it alot easier for me.

[/ QUOTE ]

I dont see you posting alot but i luv checking out your progress in your album. Your Album and DSD's are two of the best albums that really show progress when starting from a shorter length
smile.gif
anyone starting out with shorter hair that really wants to see someone as they gain length should check out their albums. Very inspirational
smile.gif
-- jainygirl

[/ QUOTE ]

Sorry to hijack this thread..
Jainy- Thank you so much for your inspiring words. I also have to admit your album is one of my favorites. I love the length, thickness and healthiness of your hair. It is a true representation that AA women can have gorgeous hair and a definite inspiration for me!
 
My hair was neck length in January of this year and When I relaxed it in early April it was grazing shoulder length. I just relaxed it about 3 weeks ago and now its shoulder length. When I relax again in September I hope its about two inches past.
 
Thanks for sharing Ubavka123. I didn't know how to do many styles and knew nothing about "protective styles" until last year. It's a whole new mindset and since I decided not to use heat and airdry, I forced myself to learn new styles and look good at the same time.

If I knew before what I know now about streching my relaxer, I would have done so long ago. I didn't know it was even possible to do without breakage.
 
No problem. I am so glad to help with my own personal experience. I have not reached my goal yet, but I know that I will. I often feel that when people talk about the difficulties of stretching relaxers it is because we can be so set in our ways (myself included). When I stopped blow-drying and started airdrying, I was so happy, because it makes my new growth lay down. If I comb through my new growth, it gets poofy and unmanageable, so I don't comb it unless my hair is wet. It is just a matter of breaking old habits, which we all know die hard! I am approaching my 8th week mark and I know that I am going to wait, probably until the end of August, to get a touch-up. I am very excited. I have learned all these great ways to deal with my hair texture since joining this forum. And Isis, your hair is beautiful!!!!!!!
smile.gif
 
[ QUOTE ]
Patrice said:
My hair was neck length in January of this year and When I relaxed it in early April it was grazing shoulder length. I just relaxed it about 3 weeks ago and now its shoulder length. When I relax again in September I hope its about two inches past.

[/ QUOTE ]

Patrice, sounds like you don't have a problem retaining length..... Please share your regimen with me. What are your secrets
sekret.gif
 
keylargo said:
During that time, did you extend relaxer touch-ups beyond 6 weeks? I ask because I believe many of you did not start stretching your relaxers until your hair was shoulder length and beyond.

I think it's easier for longer haired ladies to stretch relaxers then it is for shorter haired ladies. Do you think that length matters? I"m wondering if the two textures are more pronounced when you hair is shorter.... so it may require more frequent touch-ups on 4a/b hair until the hair is longer.

What are your thoughts about this?
Click to expand...

I think you are right.
 
Have a look in my Album.

Its not motivational like MALCOLM X or nothing, but its shows that even with set backs your hair can grow.

Girl I have been through it all, the breakage, the dryness, the big cut to get rid of damaged ends.
The first time I came to boards I stretched to 12 weeks and it was HELL, purely because I was just starting my regime and finding out what my hair liked and what it never.
But now I have all my staples, my hair is in good condition, I can have a pony to wear protective style. Stretching is becoming easier and YES hair does benefit from it. I no longer have that brownish hair (Y'all Know) from relaxing to often and overprossing anymore. I used to dye know I dont have to I have natuarally black hair!!!

Dont give up!!! I have been there

http://public.fotki.com/kizzylonghair/follow_progress/
 
kizzylonghair said:
Have a look in my Album.

Its not motivational like MALCOLM X or nothing, but its shows that even with set backs your hair can grow.

Girl I have been through it all, the breakage, the dryness, the big cut to get rid of damaged ends.
The first time I came to boards I stretched to 12 weeks and it was HELL, purely because I was just starting my regime and finding out what my hair liked and what it never.
But now I have all my staples, my hair is in good condition, I can have a pony to wear protective style. Stretching is becoming easier and YES hair does benefit from it. I no longer have that brownish hair (Y'all Know) from relaxing to often and overprossing anymore. I used to dye know I dont have to I have natuarally black hair!!!

Dont give up!!! I have been there

http://public.fotki.com/kizzylonghair/follow_progress/
Click to expand...

How do you get rid of that brownish look? Could it be from relaxers? I've always had this look even before I started relaxing my hair. Could my hair be photosenstive? When I was younger, I had natural lightbrown almost blond highlights.
 
FashionistaNY said:
How do you get rid of that brownish look? Could it be from relaxers? I've always had this look even before I started relaxing my hair. Could my hair be photosenstive? When I was younger, I had natural lightbrown almost blond highlights.
Click to expand...

Well the brownish look for many of us steams from relaxing 2 often or overprocessing. When you hair is dry and in need of moisture. What Color is it???
Then when you apply moisture- Moisturiser or Even water. What color is your hair? It is noticable darker in shade.
It the sodium in the relaxer over time- I heard from Cathy Howe.
But if like all of us here you looking after your hair, keeping it moisturisered, stretching relaxers.

This colour is a darker, even black and looks healthier. Even naturals will notice when they have moistized hair its darker

HTH
 
Last edited:
kizzylonghair said:
Have a look in my Album.

Its not motivational like MALCOLM X or nothing, but its shows that even with set backs your hair can grow.

Girl I have been through it all, the breakage, the dryness, the big cut to get rid of damaged ends.
The first time I came to boards I stretched to 12 weeks and it was HELL, purely because I was just starting my regime and finding out what my hair liked and what it never.
But now I have all my staples, my hair is in good condition, I can have a pony to wear protective style. Stretching is becoming easier and YES hair does benefit from it. I no longer have that brownish hair (Y'all Know) from relaxing to often and overprossing anymore. I used to dye know I dont have to I have natuarally black hair!!!

Dont give up!!! I have been there

http://public.fotki.com/kizzylonghair/follow_progress/
Click to expand...
Thanks for the words of encouragement. It has gotten easier and baby steps certainly help along with trial and error.
 
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